I'll Keep You Safe Tonight

I sit at the farthest side of the lunch table from Gerard, I’m still mad at him for this morning. He woke me up for school and then drank all the coffee and even after that he didn't kiss me at all this morning, god I sound pathetic. He looks a little confused at first and so do Mikey and Ray, but then Gerard seems to figure it out and laughs.
“You’re still mad about this morning Frankie?”
“Yes.” I say and turn to look at my salad.
“Oh come on, I didn’t mean anything by it.”
I continue to ignore Gerard and pick at my salad pushing it around the plate.
I hear Mikey and Ray try and hold back laughs as they figure out Gerard’s predicament. Gerard rolls his eyes and sighs leaning back in his chair and stares at me with an exasperated look on his face. Good for him. I stand up and dump my tray and head for the bathroom.
“Frank where’re you going?” I hear Gerard ask.
“Bathroom.”
“I’ll come with.” Gee says.
“No,” I say and Gerard looks a little stunned, “I need to be alone.”
I walk away from Gerard and quickly walk to the bathroom and hide out in one of the stalls. I know I shouldn’t be mad at him but I just can’t help it. I mean it wasn’t even bad what he did all he did was drink the coffee and forget to kiss me, but ugh I don’t know. I guess I’m scared that someone actually has this much power over me. Honestly it seems like I turn into a fucking purring cat whenever he touches me. I bury my head in my hands and sigh, I don’t know what to do, I know Gerard likes me and cares for me, but I’m so scared that he’ll be like my mom. I don’t even know why, I’m just scared I’ll be taken advantadge of.
I feel something wet hit my hand and I look down, I’m crying. Great now Gerard probably going to jump to conclusions and think someone hit me or something. I’m just so fucking useless. I wipe my eyes and pull a razor out of my jacket pocket I look down at my legs and gently run the razor over them, not aiming to cut yet. After about a minute of that I push down and make a cut. I deserve this I made Gerard upset and I can’t do anything right, I’m just so fucking useless. I make a few more cuts and just sit watching the blood flow for a while. I check my watch, I’ve been in here long enough. I stop the bleeding with some tissues and check the mirror to see if my eyes are puffy, I’m good.
I walk back out of the bathroom and Gerard is standing there looking worried.
“Frank! You’re okay!” He says sounding relieved and pulls me into a hug.
“Yeah of course I’m fine,” I say although it’s kinda muffled because my face is in his chest, damn my shortness.
“I’m really sorry for this morning I didn’t think you’d react like this.”
“It’s fine Gee, I guess I was just grumpy from waking up and having to go to school.”
Gerard laughs, “Come on we have class.”
I smile up at him breaking the hug, “Alright.”

Notes

new chapter, and my internet is back and I have a boyfriend now. Woo!