“So Frank.” Abby said, “Did you write in your journal?”
I nod wordlessly and hand it to her quietly and watch her as she flips through the pages. I see her smile a little at some points and frown at others and when she gets to the page she just looks deeply sad.
“Oh Frank…” she trails off.
“I’m crazy huh.” I reply monotone.
“No Frank you’re not but I’m afraid you are considered a danger to yourself and possibly others right now so I’m going to give you an option.” She says.
“Shoot.” I say begrudgingly.
“Okay one option is that you voluntarily go to the hospital for a psych evaluation or I tell you you have to.”
I snap my head up from where I had been staring at my hands and then sigh, “I knew this would happen.”
“I’m sorry Frank.”
“Yeah whatever I’ll go.”
“Really?”
“I don’t exactly have a fucking choice now do I?”
She nods a bit, “I’ll talk to Gerard, it’s best if you come with me.”
I nod and follow her to the waiting room.
“Gerard could you come back?” Abby asks.
“Sure.” He says sounding a bit surprised.
We head back to Abby’s office and sit on the couch, “Gerard there is no easy way to say this—“

Gerard interrupts, “Wait what’s going on?”
“I’m trying to explain that please be patient,” she says, “Now can I go on.”
Gerard nods solemly looking over at me, “Okay.”
“Frank needs to go to the hospital,” Abby says and Gerard’s jaw drops, “He needs a psych evalution judging from what he wrote in his journal it’s needed.”
“But—I—What?!” Gerard says floundering.
“He already said he would go and unless you want him to be taken by ambulance you can drive him.”
“Why does he need to go though.” Gerard says hugging me to his side.
“Because at this point in time judging from his thoughts he is a very big danger to himself.”
I look down and fidget and hear Gerard sigh, “Does he have too?”
Addy nods solemmly, “I’m sorry.”
“Alright then,” Gerard replies standing up, “I’ll take him.”
Gerard pulls me up from my spot on the couch and puts me in the car. The whole drive to the hospital is silent. I stare out the window trying to imagine what’s going to happen. I’ve always seen mental hospitals in movies, and don’t even say that I’m not going to one we all know I am, but I never thought I’d go to one. I hope that they’re not like in horror movies, evil nurses, psycho doctors, shock therapy, the works. I’m pretty sure it’s not like that.
I wonder if I’ll be with the adults? I mean I’m 16 what’s going to happen if I get stuck with them I can’t fucking defend myself from bullies at school how am I going to deal with psychos?!
“Frank calm down.” Gerard says laying his hand on my thigh and interrupting my train of thought.
“Sorry.” I say simply, “For everything.”
Gerard sighs again, I seem to make him that a lot lately, “Don’t be sorry Frank I don’t want to lose you and if this is going to help you then I’ll take it.” He puts the car in park as we arrive, “Come on we have to go to the ER.”
I nod and follow shyly behind Gerard and go sit down in one of the uncomfortable waiting chairs.
“The lady said it’ll be a few minutes.” Gerard says settling in next to me and holding my hand.
We wait for about ten minutes before being led back to a room and having me be told to change into hospital scrubs and lay down on the bed. Gerard leaves so I can change and I call him in when I’m done. We wait in silence for the infiniteth time today as we wait to be told what to do. Soon after a nurse comes in and takes my vitals and I’m told that I’m going to have my blood taken later on once a person from the lab is available.
“Do you want to watch TV?” asks Gerard.
I shrug, “Um…okay.” I turn it on and scan the channels the only interesting thing is American Pickers, and it’s a marathon. I lay back and watch the show intently it’s rather interesting actually.
It’s 7:00 now, I’ve been here an hour and a half since I’ve got here at 5:30, finally a person comes in to take my blood. It takes four tries, two on my left arm, and two on my right. What can I say I guess I have deep veins. I scan the channels again getting bored of American Pickers now.
“I have to go to the bathroom Frankie,” Gerard says.
“Okay.” I say and smile at the TV seeing Adventure Time is on.
Not even five minutes later, Gerard is back and an old man wearing a hospital uniform walks into the room.
“I’m here to evaluate Frank.” He says and I groan seriously I’m going to miss Adventure Time.
I ask Gerard to leave the room and answer the man’s questions they’re all pretty basic and basically what my therapist asked me. The evaluation takes about half an hour or so and Gerard is finally able to come back into the room. I turn on the TV again, sure enough Adventure Time’s over. I glance at the clock again 8:00. Gerard and I were told that we had about a few more hours because evaluations usually take about six to eight hours. It’s going to be a long night.
Gerard and I talk a small amount but mostly sit drinking in the silence and watch TV occasionally getting up to go to the bathroom. It’s now 10:00, and I have to piss. I walk out of my room and go down to the bathroom taking care of business and listen to the lady in the room next to the bathroom yell and cry, she’s drunk off her ass from what I can tell. She keeps yelling one more drink, I’m fine, I’m not drunk. I scoff yeah right. Then why are you in the emergency room.
I try to sleep in the room but hospital beds aren’t the most comfortable things in the world. At around midnight a nurse comes in to ask if I’m hungry. Hell yes I’ve been here almost seven hours now and I haven’t eaten anything I’m starving. I don’t say this of course. I just reply politely saying yes. About half an hour later I get a sandwhich some apple sauce and other items to eat me. Hospital food sucks, the sandwhich is all soggy but hey it’s food. It’s 1:00 AM now.
“Frank?” a nurse says poking her head into the room, “The people from Intermoutain are here to take you there.”
I nod and stand up a bit shakily and slip on my shoes handing Gerard my belongings.
“I’ll follow in the car.” He says reasurringly and I nod.
I follow the nurse out to a van, this is kind of creepy, there’s bars and mesh covering the windows that are very tinted in the back. I gulp and climb in the back as they open the door. We drive in silence for a bit me not talking to them, them not talking to me and I start to get sleepy.
“You know,” The woman in the passenger seat says, “He doesn’t really look suicidal.”
I bristle at the words but don’t give any indication that I heard. Is there a certain look I have to have to be suicidal. I don’t understand. It doesn’t make any sense. Anyone can be suicidal really even the most popular people in school. There isn’t a specific look to it. It’s not like I just have a tattoo on my forehead saying beware suicidal. Seriously.
I decide not to dwell on those thoughts anymore as we pull up to Intermountain, Gerard’s there waiting. Basically the check in process is the same as it was at the hospital. I’m getting really tired of answering the same questions over and over. Finally it’s over but Gerard has to leave, we both say goodbye hugging each other for as long as the nurses allow. It’s now 2:30 AM and I’ve been escorted to the teen wing already, which is where I answered the majority of the monotonous questions.

I’m led to a room where my roommate is sleeping, well it is late. I attempt to climb into bed but the mattress slips out from under me causing me to fall on the floor. I shake it off and notice the bed is bolted to the floor and made of plastic, oh that explains the sliding of the mattress. I get into bed more carefully now to avoid another incident like the one a moment ago. I lazily peer around the room trying to take in the surrounding before my brain shuts off but I fail. It’s been a long night.

Notes

Super long chapter to make up for being an asshole, sorry.

Chapter Title: The Girl by City and Colour