I'll Keep You Safe Tonight

*Two Months Later*


I wake up sweating and tears streaming down my face from my nightmare. I thought…I thought that it was happening again.

“Frankie?” Gerard asks groggily from his spot in the bed next to me, “Did you have a nightmare again?”

I nod and Gerard’s arms wrap around me, “Shhh, baby you’ll be okay, he didn’t do it, it didn’t happen. You were saved. Remember that.”

I sob a little bit and Gerard hugs me tighter rubbing my back in an attempt to calm me down. He quietly begins to sing the song he always sings when I have a nightmare. I don’t know why but the song and his voice always calm me down enough to sleep.

“Some say now suffer all the children, and walk away a savior.” Sings Gerard, “Or a madman and polluted from gutter institutions.”

“Don’t you breathe for me.” I join in quietly and I feel in smile into my shoulder and continue singing to me.

“Undeserving of your sympathy, cause there ain’t no way that I’m sorry for what I did.” He sings, “And through it all, how could you cry for me? Cause I don’t feel bad about it.” He continues, “Shut your eyes, kiss me goodbye,” he kisses me on the cheek and I blink at him sleepily, “And sleep, just sleep.” I fall asleep to Gerard’s voice hoping for no more nightmares.

Gerard and I are sitting around the kitchen island the next morning both drinking extra strong coffee in an attempt to stay awake.

“I’m really sorry Gerard.” I say taking a sip of coffee, “I don’t know what to do.”

Ever since the incident I’ve been having nightmares and I can’t stop them. Some nights I won’t have them other night’s I’ll have one. The most I’ve had is six in one night. Which is obviously very problematic for a high school student who already has enough problems paying attention, aka me. It’s also really hard on Gerard he can see I’m hurting and the only thing he can do about it, is fucking sing to me till I fall asleep. It doesn’t help now that he’s always looking at me like I’m going to shatter like glass that was hit with a rock. Which is probably not too far off from what’s actually happening.

I know it’s probably really irrational to be still having nightmares and still being terrified of people touching me to intimately, I mean it’s like I’m crazy, but I can’t stop. I can still feel his hands on me sometimes and that scares. The worst part is some people at school found out and are telling me I wasn’t actually raped. I mean it’s not like he fucking entered me or some shit. I know that. But I still feel violated. What if I wasn’t saved, what if I wasn’t-

“Frank you need to calm down.” Gerard says reaching his hand across the table and uncurling my fingers from their death grip on my coffee mug.

“Sorry.” I mumble embarrassed.

“Frank,” Gerard says seriously, “I think I need to take you to a therapist or something.”
“What! Why?” I ask a bit frantic, counseling!

“Well I think it might help you talk to someone else about this rather than just me, Ray, and Mikey. Having a stranger to talk to you helps sometimes.”

“But I’m not crazy, I don’t need counseling, I’m not crazy.”

“Hon, I never said you were, it’s just you’re having nightmares pretty much every night and a panic attack almost every day. I really think it could help you Frank.”

“But-“ I try to say but Gerard interrupts.

“No buts, I already have an appointment set up for you after school.”

I groan and lay my head on the table, fucking therapy, great.

I go through the school day dreading the end of it rather than looking forward to it. I mean who looks forward to therapy. Gerard has been looking at me all day like he thinks I’m going to run away. It’s not like I could, we live pretty damn far from school. School ends too quickly for my likely and all too soon I’m sitting in front of a doctor’s office in the car with Gerard.

“I am sorry about this Frankie.” Gerard says trying to give me a hug but I just glare at him.

“It’s too late now.” I say emotionless.

“Frankie please talk to me.”

“I thought the point of therapy was so you wouldn’t have to all my fucking problems anymore.” I say crossing my arms and getting out of the car, “I’ll see you in an hour.” I say slamming the door and cutting off whatever Gerard was going to say.

I honestly feel really bad about what I just did, but he started it. I don’t need therapy I’m fine, I swear to god. I roll my eyes and check in at the little office thingy that all the secretary people hang out at, whatever it’s called, and then wait for my name to be called.

“Frank Iero?” I hear a nurse say and I follow her into the back and we go through the normal check-up routine before I head back to the counselor, you know, height, weight, all that jazz.
I follow the nurse to this small room and sit down on the couch, which is where I’m assuming I’m supposed to sit. I mean don’t all shrinks have the kids sit on couches. I get comfortable and put on my best ‘I don’t give a fuck’ face and get ready for an hour of absolute hell.

Notes

I really wanted to write bitchy Frank for some reason

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Chapter Title: Therapy by All Time Low