Brace yourselves for a fuckload of swearing.

Fallyn's POV

~~~
Flashback
~~~

My eyes opened to a dark ceiling, dark because it was littered with posters and stickers.
The walls were almost identical, posters of MCR, ATL, BVB, P!ATD and D.R.U.G.S.

The springs in the bed beneath me squealed as I sat up and tried to register my surroundings.
Dark curtains hung over the windows and blocked out all forms of sunlight while a solar system hung from the ceiling and projected stars around the room.

There was a table in a corner covered in different pieces of paper meaning a variety of things, art work, forms, notes, homework.
Stupid fucking homework, did I finish it last night? My twenty page paper is still due, I'm gonna get murdered if I don't finish it and hand it in within the next week.

My old computer also sat on the table and the screensaver was bouncing around. Hundreds of photos were stuck on a wall mounted cork-board, some of them were random pictures of nature, others were of friends.

Home sweet fuckin home, I hate this place and almost everything in it.

The alarm clock reminded me I had roughly fourty minutes to clean myself up, get dressed, eat something and get my ass to school.
I hate high school, the people suck, the teachers suck and they only teach me what I already know.

Grudgingly I got up and pulled open my wardrobe door then stuck my head in, nope Narnia still isn't in here. Since I wasn't going to be meeting Aslan any time soon I settled with a long sleeved shirt and an army jacket.

With some jeans to match I got dressed and assessed myself in the mirror, meh, this'll have to do. My hair looks okay, should probably put on some makeup and shit like that.

I went through the daily routine of teeth brushing and makeup applying 'til I could go about everyday life without being ridiculed. Before I left my room I grabbed my backpack and marched down the hallway, Mum's bedroom door was closed, of course she's still asleep.

With a sigh I grabbed some sort of quick food that was without a doubt unhealthy and went out the front door to meet Kat near her house. The cold air bit into my skin and I pulled a beanie out of my backpack and put it on, much warmer. My sneakers tapped quietly against the sidewalk as I half jogged towards the usual meeting place I'd see Katelyn.

She sat on a brick fence with her legs swinging back and forth and her iPods earbuds firmly in her ears. She listened to music so loud she wouldn't hear me if I yelled at the top of my lungs, she's lucky she isn't deaf yet. I tapped on her shoulder, she grinned when she realised it was me and took out her earbuds.

The Used was blaring loudly, I grinned back while she hopped off the fence and hitched her backpack higher on her shoulder. It was obvious the cold air had gotten to her, the tip of her nose was flushed red and she was shivering.

A shiver made its way up my own skin as the cold crept down the back of my jacket and into my shirt. Winter can really suck sometimes and it's not even the cool kind of winter, no fluffy snow, just slush.

"Got around to the history paper yet?" We automatically started walking towards the school, it was too far away for someone as athletically challenged as me.

"It's too much effort, write a report on an influential historical figure. We did this last year and I got yelled at when I wrote a paper on Bon Scott." Kat laughed as we trudged through the slush, she thought it was hilarious I'd gotten an F because of the paper.

"It's not my fault she doesn't recognise a good musician." The teacher also hated me so I'd get a shit score no matter who I did the report on.

"People are fucked up." I nodded and accepted one of the earbuds as she handed it to me.

Somehow she did a report on Haley Williams last year and she got away with it, even though Hailey Williams was most definitly not a historical figure, I guess her teacher was better than mine.

"What have we got today?" She asked and I went over my mental timetable of today's classes. Whatever they were I'm sure they're royally suck, just like the teachers, students and the whole school.

"Uh, we have science, English lit, P.E and music." Thank god we at least had music today and English lit because I wouldn't be able to tolerate the rest of the classes.

We were really close to the school now, I could see it in the distance and there were other school kids walking down the street. I yawned and stretched my arms before pulling two fruit bars out of my pocket and started eating.

"You know if you got up half an hour earlier you'd be able to make breakfast and not have to eat those on the go foods." Fuck getting up earlier, I can barely be bothered when it comes to going to school. I continued eating my breakfast bars with a shrug, Kat sighed, knowing she wasn't gonna win.

Some girls at the end of the street waved to me and I waved back, they were my friends but I wasn't as close to them as I was with Kat. We were school only friends, except for the rare occasion when they'd drop by my house or they'd stay the night at Katelyn's house.

They were nice and tried to understand the music Kat and I listened to but they were posers and would prefer to see Katy Perry than BVB in a concert. The warning bell to get your ass to the lockers went off in the distance, Kat and I started jogging.

There was no way I'm getting a tardy, somehow I'd managed to get A's in all my classes and I wasn't going to fuck up my chance of getting a scholarship out of here because I was late.

"Hey, Mist!" Vanessa and Sissy said in synchronisation as Kat and I jogged past them. Katelyn didn't care about being late as much as I did but she was a good enough friend not to make me suffer first period math class alone,

"Hi." They started jogging next to us and I sighed internally, they can be really fucking annoying. They'd talk about Gerard Way, Andy Biersack and Brendon Urie as if they were gods but they couldn't name any other members of the band.

In the end they were good kids though, sometimes try hards but they tried at least.
We went in the gates and I shoved my hair out of my face, I did a crappy job cutting it last week and it ended up being shaggy.

I panted slightly as I continued to jog towards the five story building, who the fuck would want to go here I don't know but all the kids from surrounding areas went to this school so it had tons of classrooms and would easily confuse newbies.

I'd only been going here for a couple of years and I knew my way around the place better than most, the places you could listen to a banned iPod during lunch, where to warm up when it's cold. With another pained sigh at the thought of another school day I shoved open the doors and stepped into the crowded hall.

Vanessa and Sissy had their lockers on the ground, Kat and I had our lockers on the second floor so I didn't have to spend any more time with the poser twins. We ran up the stairs and got to our lockers just before the locker bell went off, now we only had ten minutes to get our stuff and get to the fourth floor.

"Hey, Misty! Your tits are looking particularly fine this afternoon, did you fix 'em up just for me?" I glared at Brock the school asshole who for some reason, every girl in the building (except for Kat and I) loved.
He was a douchebag and he'd be kidding himself to think I'd do anything with my 'tits' for him.

"Go fuck yourself with an axe." I hoped my glare was as venomous as I thought it was, maybe it wasn't because he leant against the locker next to mine. Katelyn's locker was at the opposite end of the hall and I forgave her for having to go away to get her books.

I thought some very inappropriate words at him while entering the combination into the twist lock. It didn't matter if Brock saw the code, it's not like I kept anything important in my locker, just books.

"Why are you being so cold when I could warm you up?" He put his hand on my waist and I smacked it away immediately, he had no right to touch me, he wasn't my boyfriend and I didn't want him to be.

"There is nothing I'd enjoy less." My locker was finally open and I quickly grabbed my math books.

"Don't you want to be my princess? Do you prefer to lurk in emo town all day with the losers?" If it meant I didn't have to be anywhere near you then yes, I'd much rather lurk in emo town.

"Gerard Way and Andy Biersack have never tried to grope me or ask if I fixed my 'tits' up for them. Now fuck off back to the slut patrol you hang out with." I slammed the locker door shut and walked towards the staircase, Kat and I would meet up there before heading to math together.
Katelyn was only a couple of feet away when I felt someone's hand collide with my butt.

I turned around, glared at Brock then immediately swung my hand around and slapped him in the face, hard enough that a red handprint immediately showed on his cheek and his head snapped to the side.

"Fuck you, don't touch me ever again." He looked stunned that I'd slapped him, as far as I was concerned he fucking deserved it. Before walking to Katelyn I flipped him off and walked away with more than enough dignity.

He'd tried grabbing my butt multiple times but this was a first for him to actually grab it.
Katelyn gave me a grin as we ran up the stairs together and nearly ran over her ex and his new girlfriend on the fourth floor.

What the fuck's going on?
Are we having an asshole parade today?
Is there going to be an awards ceremony later on?
For heavens sake is it possible to have just one day of school without having to tolerate someone who's corpse I'd gladly step over.

Kat glared at her ex, Cain, he'd fooled both of us into thinking he was a good guy and it made everything so bitter when he cheated on her with Jules. It was definitely a downgrade, he was only interested in Jules because she spread her legs and Kat said she'd wait 'til she was seventeen. Jules was a tall, stick figure like, peroxide blonde who needed to chill out with the makeup.

"Loser." Jules made a L shape on her forehead with her pointer finger and thumb, the wrong way though so she shot down her own bitchyness with stupidity.

"Slut." I coughed before grabbing Kat's arm and dragging her towards the math room, I didn't want her around Jules any longer than necessary. Katelyn had low self esteem sometimes and it didn't take much effort to make her want to cut. She'd stopped then started again when her boyfriend cheated with the skank of the year.

"Emo." Jules yelled after us and I snorted, did no one in this school have a thesaurus?

In response I used a word you really shouldn't say in polite society, ever, unless your goal is to horrify people. She made a gasping sound then stomped off down the stairs with Kat's ex in tow. Haha, she shouldn't have gone into a contest of who can offend each other more, I'll win every time.

We barely managed to sit at our desks before the final bell went and the teacher came in and started ordering everyone around. I sighed, flicking through my maths book looking for whatever page we had to learn from.

Fuck you and the government you rode in on high school.

~~~

"Misty, hurry up and get in the car. I'm not gonna wait for you forever, it's enough I'm bothering to take you to the lake." I groaned and zipped my suitcase shut, it's not like she was forced to spend any time with us.

Mum would be sitting in the cabin, drinking or smoking while reading a book, not out ice skating.
We were picking up Kat from her house before heading to Lake Blackwater, we'd be spending three days there before coming back.

I'd spend the next three days at Katelyn's house, including my birthday, I didn't want to spend another b'day at this horrible house. With some effort I dragged my suitcase out the front door and put it in the boot of our beat up car which was so old it was surprising it still ran.

I sat in the backseat and did up the seatbelt while Mum backed the car out of the driveway and turned down the end of the street.
It'd only take a couple of minutes to get to Kat's house, she didn't live far away and I walked to her house often.

There were some girls walking around the streets in clothes completely unsuitable for winter and I wondered how they were able to tolerate the cold. Maybe it's their non existent morals that keep them warm because its certainly not their mini skirts and muffin tops.

One of them looked familiar and as our car passed I turned to look at the girls face. It was Sissy and Vanessa, talking to Jules, I shoulda known they'd be fucking traitors, the fucking posers, it was obvious by their claims to love bands when they didn't even know the drummers name.

Sissy looked up and noticed me glaring at her through the rear windscreen and her mouth fell open, busted. I flipped her off and mouthed 'poser' while she diverted her gaze to Jules who had also noticed I was there.

People disgust me, they're so two faced, say one thing and do the other.
How fucking hard is it to be a loyal friend?

The car made a right turn and stopped outside Kat's house, she's gonna love hearing how Vanessa and Sissy are backstabbers and in cahoots with the enemy. I felt a bit bad, I wasn't BFFs with them but they were my friends and we'd hang out occasionally and it'd be fun.

I got out of the car and thought a variety of swearwords at Sissy and Vanessa, it was low of them to talk to Jules of all people. She bullied Kat and I on a regular basis and was the meanest bitch in the whole school.
I want to hit something right now or by the horrible stuff Jules said to Kat the other day, someone would be a better word.

With my jaw firmly clenched in anger I knocked on the door, waiting for the thumping sound that came with Katelyn running down the stairs.

Kat must be listening to some loud music in her room, it wouldn't be a first. I knocked louder on the door, she's gotta hear me this time, I'm not trying to be quiet. After another minute passed I gave up with knocking and got the spare key from its secret place in a hide-a-key rock.

Most likely scenario, she's sleeping, Katelyn's a rock when tired she'll sleep anywhere and it's impossible to wake her up. I unlocked the door and hid the key again before stepping into the house, I couldn't help myself and instantly came up with the plan of scaring her awake.

Hey, it's not my fault, she shouldn't be asleep at twelve in the afternoon and Kat would do the same thing to me. The stairs creaked underneath me as I took slow, careful steps up the stairs and a grin spread across my face.

The look on her face is gonna be priceless, Katelyn and I regularly had a game of who can scare the other the most, I'm going to win this time. I had to choke back laughter as I walked across the landing, Black Veil Brides was playing loudly from her room.

'You always want the one that you can't have, 'cause love isn't always fair, you are the best romance I've never had, 'cause love isn't always fair.'
The music was so loud the floor was almost shaking, I have no idea how she could sleep with it that loud, I love my music loud and I wouldn't be able to sleep with it like that. Maybe she'd accidentally deafened herself during sleep and hasn't realised it yet.

Won't have to be quiet now, there's no chance of her hearing me.
I stopped the ninja act and walked normally to her bedroom door that was firmly closed, she always liked her privacy, I did too. With a twist of the handle the door opened and the now unmuffled music was even louder.

She's never listened to music this loud before, maybe she's living it up while her 'rents are out of the house on holidays for the next three days. I stepped into her room and pushed the door shut behind me and my eyes drifted to her bed.

"Katelyn?" She was lying on her bright white duvet with her eyes closed. Red drenched the fabric to the point of it dripping from the fabric and onto the floor, making a small pool where her arm dangled off the bed.

"Katelyn!" I ran across the room and everything seemed to move in slow motion, like a epic part in a movie.
My sneakers slipped in the blood on the floor and I tumbled to the ground, landing in the blood.
I screamed as it coated my hands and soaked into the long green sleeves of my shirt. More blood got all over my jeans and I tried to wipe it away, only to put more onto myself.

"Katelyn!" I screamed again, why couldn't Mum hear me?

"Kat, no, no, no. Wake up, please wake up." I kept screaming and my throat became hoarse and sore, but I couldn't stop.

My hands went to her shoulders and I started shaking her, why weren't her eyes opening?
This can't be happening, this isn't supposed to be happening.
We're supposed to be going to Lake Blackwater today, we're gonna be staying there for a while.

I'm supposed to be staying here for my birthday and were gonna watch movies and laugh at YouTube videos. My hair fell in my face and I pushed it away, blood smeared across my forehead and stuck to my hair.

It doesn't matter though, why isn't she moving? Tears streamed down my face and mixed with the blood as I kept shaking her. There's so much blood, how can there be this much blood?
Her skin's too pale, it's almost translucent and she's cold, like she's been outside for five hours straight.

"Kat please don't do this to me. This isn't supposed to happen, not to you or me or anyone, stop, you're scaring me. Wake up, please wake the fuck up." I pushed her hair away from her face, she looked so peaceful and happy, like she was a sleeping princess in one of those fairytales we both hated.

Her arm still dangled on the floor and I could see the slash running straight through the purple and green butterfly. I could only hear the music booming loudly from her CD player and the metallic smell of blood crawled into my head making me feel sick.

With the back of my hand I wiped away tears, I could barely see through them and it wasn't helping me. Her chest wasn't moving and I felt like I was suffocating from the sight, I can't deal with this.
I gulped in air and shakily stood up and turned down her CD player, leaving blood on the dial.

She'd never kill herself she promised, this can't be happening. Nothing in the world could drive her to this, she only cut, she never tried to kill herself.

This is all my fault, if I asked her how she was feeling more often, did I not support her enough? There was only one thing I could think of that would make her even consider suicide.

I ran out of her bedroom and down the white carpeted stairs, leaving bloody footprints behind me. The front door was left open behind me as I ran even faster down the cobbled pathway and jumped over the small fence.
My body knew where I was going before I did, but the person who I was running towards knew even less.

I slammed into Jules, almost knocking both of us off our feet and to the hard cement sidewalk.

"What the fuck was that for you stupid fucking spazzoid!?" She glared at me while adjusting her skirt that needed to be at least a foot longer. Sissy and Vanessa went quiet at they registered the blood I had on every inch of my clothes, my face and my hands.

"You know what it's for! Kat's in her bedroom dead! It's your fault what happened to her! You fucking wanted this this to happen, you said she was a waste of life, you told her she should die!"

I'd grabbed Jules tightly by the collar of her shirt and pulled her down to my level, she couldn't move.
She was much bigger than me despite looking like a stick figure, she did sports and was tall, but I had adrenaline and a shitload of anger on my side, I've jokingly wanted to kill people before but now it was serious.

"You said she was just another loser nobody would miss! Guess what?! I fucking miss her. Her parent will miss her!" She looked horrified by my sudden outburst but kept a cool and venomous tone in her voice as she spoke.

"She's just another emo, they die all the time and they deserve it. She was another blemish on the skin of humanity, no one misses a little mark." A noise that almost sounded like a growl came from my throat and my hand that was already tangled in her shirt was twisted even tighter.

"Then no one will miss a slut like you. Not even all the guys you've fucked for attentions sake." She scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"Everyone knows that Brock's spent more than one night with you and your dumb friend Katelyn, she's a emo slut no one will ever care for." Jules made the mistake of putting a hand on my arm and digging her fake nails into my flesh, hard enough to draw blood.

Game fucking on.
I'm not a prissy girl who scratches, slaps and pulls hair, that's for cowards and pussies.
I prefer a more direct method.

My fist connected with her nose producing a satisfying crunch and it made me positive I'd broken her nose, good she fucking deserved it and what's another nose job, I'll still look as fucked up when she gets the rhinoplasty redone.

I puncher her twice more for good measure and she dropped to the ground with a blood running from her nose, the side of her mouth and from a split in her lip.

"Pick on someone who can stand fucking up for themselves." I said and Jules spat blood onto the ground, stood up and slapped me hard across the face.
I could feel the force and hatred behind it but I refused to give her the satisfaction of making my head move.

"Is that the most you've got you stupid fucking emo loser?"
Don't send a slut with fake nails into a real fight.

"No, this is, barbie."
One more punch from me and she dropped to the the ground, landing on her ass and looking barely conscious, I hope it hurt.

Sissy and Vanessa stood there with their mouths hanging open, I knew they were too stupid to do anything. I shook my hand as pain crept in, I'd never punched someone before but there was no doubt it looked like I had.

Self defence motherfucker.

They continued to stand there, doing nothing while Jules sat on ground, not daring to get up.

"If I were you I'd take that bitch to hospital, she might have a concussion or some shit, she fucking deserves it too." Slowly Vanessa became unfrozen and pulled her mobile from her pocket before calling 911.

I walked down the street and back to Kat's house, limping slightly because I'd caught my leg on the fence while jumping over it.

Mum's car was gone from the driveway, she'd already left when I came running from the house, tired of waiting for me to get Katelyn. That's fucking typical of her, the one time I truly need a mother to support me and be there and she's already left.

I shoved open the house gate and continued to limp towards the open front door.
It wasn't limping to the point of looking like the hunchback of Notre Dame but it fucked with my walking.

The house phone was sitting in its usual place, by the kitchen entryway and I picked up the handset. I felt so calm right now it scared me, my only friend in the world was dead upstairs, I'd knocked down the lowest piece of shit in the world and I had Katelyn's blood all over me.

Haha, life is just one fucked up event after the other and this was the worst ever.
As I laughed without the tiniest touch of humor in my voice I dialed 911 and waited for someone to answer.

"Hello, 911 what's your emergency?" I sighed into the phone and wiped the leftover blood onto my jeans.

"My friend's upstairs, dead. I need the police and an ambulance."

~~~

Ugh, did I sleep on a bad angle last night or did I drink too much? It wouldn't be a first and I should have a sorta immunity to it by now.

My eyes burned and my head was pounding, yep, it's the five bottles of mixer I drank as a pre-birthday celebration. Now the day was here, happy sixteenth fucking birthday me, my first present to myself...a slamming hangover.

I stumbled into the bathroom and got some painkillers from the cabinet over the sink, these better work. I downed them with water straight from the tap then went back to my room, I had to drag on some clothes and look presentable for the day ahead.

It was supposed to be a funeral, black dress and a grieving aura but I knew Kat better than that. My space print dress slipped on easily and I gave myself a hollow smile in the mirror, there was no happiness here.

With a forced smile I painted my face, lipstick, eyeliner, mascara another layer to add on top of the fake foundation.

Mum wasn't interested in Katelyn's funeral, she refused to take me so I'd decided to walk there, it meant leaving half an hour earlier than needed but I only want the company of myself right now.

Music was playing from my computer, I'd fallen asleep listening to My Chem on repeat, crying drunkenly 'til my mind gave up on trying to keep me awake.
Yes, a now sixteen year old crying herself to sleep while drunk, how original.

I tied up my sneakers, not bothering to put on socks and left the house, I didn't feel like food.
The cold air reminded me that its probably be a good idea to put on a coat so I grabbed my army jacket from its place on the floor, I'd thrown it there last night when I came home.

What I was wearing was completely inappropriate for a conventional funeral, good, Katelyn would love it. I was still cold as I walked down the street, I didn't care, it was something real and tangible to cling to.

As I walked down the slushy, ice covered sidewalk I let my mind drift in and out of reality. I'm not sure how many people would be going to her funeral, her parents would definitely be there, probably some other members of her family.

The chances of Sissy and Vanessa going were more than unlikely, they'd avoided me ever since I knocked Jules on her ass and broke her nose. Bitch deserved it and it made me feel better, looking at the tape over her nose and the dark shadows she got as it healed.

She hasn't tried saying anything to me since and didn't dare say anything to the police, yeah I was small but piss me off enough and I'll hurt you. The police didn't put any effort into investigating Kat's death, she had a history of cutting herself and it was immediately ruled as suicide.

I believed them, it was the kind of thing she'd do.

Kat wouldn't take pills or hang herself, she made jokes about leaving the biggest possible mess to clean up. She was right when it came to that, her parents would have no chance getting the bloodstains off the carpet.

Her room has been locked ever since with the exception of her Dad giving me a collection of photos that she'd taken during a summer visit to Lake Blackwater.

A car passed by me and honked, I resisted the urge to flip it off, stupid car driving bastard.
The black pickup truck stopped a couple of meters away and I sighed, please tell me a random isn't going to attempt to hit on me.
The familiar tall, tanned, muscly figure jogged up to me and I sighed again, I'm not in the mood for Brock right now.

"Hey, Mist. Going somewhere?" He fell into step beside me and I cringed, I hadn't talked to anyone for a while.

"Yeah, Katelyn's funeral. Not that you could give a fuck." I tucked my hands into the pockets of my jacket and balled them into fists, if he tries to hit on my I'm gonna knee him in the balls, or punch him.

"Want a lift?" We were nearly at his car now and every part of my brain told me not to get in the car with him.

"Sure, why not." My brain yelled at me for being an idiot, this wins the award for most stupid thing so far. He grinned as we stopped at his car and he opened the passenger door for me, I didn't say anything and got in.

Brock probably thinks he's having a huge victory right now, I haven't told him to fuck off yet and no hitting has interrupted the conversation. In reality I just wanted a lift so I could get to the funeral and off the streets, I'm supposed to give a speech and I don't want to miss it.

The car moved slowly away from the curb before picking up speed and heading towards the church at the opposite side of the town. I glanced at his blonde profile for a moment before switching to the view of the town, I liked the town much more.

It wouldn't surprise me if he had some hidden agenda wrapped up inside the niceness.

He adjusted his hands on the steering wheel before looking at me.

"I'm having a party tonight." And here comes the hidden agenda, although the party is typical, he came from the founding family of Blackford.

"Yeah?" Please don't tell me more about it, I couldn't give a fuck, now or ever.

"I want you to go with me." There was no asking tone in his voice, it sounded more like a demand than anything else. Then it crossed my mind that Jules would be there and alcohol, I wouldn't mind chilling with one and hitting the other, guess which one is which.

"Okay." This is the new stupidest thing I've done yet, I didn't even like the kind of people who went to his parties and who has a party in winter?

Brock grinned at me before pulling the car to a stop outside the town church, old and creepy looking, just the way a rustic church should look, it was either that or looking like the one out of Van Helsing.

"Wear something sexy." Again, it was an order, not a request, I got out of the truck and nodded. Hehe, he thinks I actually want to go to the party with him.

I'm only going for the booze and a chance to punch Jules in the face one more time.
I walked down the path towards the small town church and hummed a song tunelessly.

I'd played a heavy part when it came to setting up her funeral, her parents Vicky and Joel had tasked me with the music since we had similar tastes.
It was hard toning down the song choices and I hoped what I picked was appropriate, most of the songs she liked involved lines like 'you left me with this broken lies' and 'the hole you put me in wasn't deep enough'.
You can probably tell that stuff like that was definitely not appropriate for a funeral, but then again I was wearing a space dress.

After much internal dilemma I chose five songs.

1. Saviour, BVB

2. Camisado, P!ATD

3. Acoustical version of Time Bomb, ATL

4. Cemetery Drive, MCR

5. Ritual, BVB

Most people think they know what they'd want at their funerals. They romanticize it as if it will be beautiful when in reality it's shit for the person who has to make the choices because you're not there.

Vicky and Joel greeted me as I walked into the church I'd gotten there before all the other guests. Neither parents looked well rested, in fact they appeared on the outside just like I felt on the inside.

"Thanks for coming, Mist. We know its hard for you, you were her closest friend." Katelyn's Mum was practically an older version, same grey eyes, brown hair and slightly spaced out expression.

"It's no problem, I would have felt like a bad friend if I didn't come." I got a small emotionless smile from Vicky and she gave me a hug, she'd always treated me more like a daughter than my own mother did.
When she let go I gazed down the pew lined aisle and for the first time my brain registered the black coffin.

The lid was open and I felt my stomach turn over, not because I was afraid of body's, is what scared me was realizing Kat isn't here anymore. My throat felt thick and I struggled to choke back tears, not right now Mist, you can hold it back for a more appropriate place.

"Misty, would you like some time to say your thoughts before the other guests arrive?" No, I'll start crying and I won't be able to hold myself back, you'll open unclosable emotional floodgates.

"That would be nice." Mouth, why can't you work in conjunction with my brain?

Vicky nodded and went outside with Joel, leaving me alone with the sound of the door quietly closing. There was a shift in the air that reminded me I was truly alone.
Kat's gone, my mother wasn't even there for me in the first place and the only thing left in the world for me was music.

I carefully walked down the aisle, as if something would break if there was one wrong step. My feet refused to move another inch when there was three feet between the coffin and me.
Katelyn had her hands on her chest, holding a bunch of flowers with a serene expression.

With a deep breath I took four steps closer and now stood in front of the white silk lined coffin.

"This is really happening. My best friend's, gone, forever." My voice echoed through the church and I flinched at the sudden noise before turning my attention back to Kat. They would have washed the leftover butterfly off her wrist so I pulled a green sharpie out of my coat pocket and drew a butterfly on the back of her hand.

Something looked like it was missing and I added a short and simple sentence:

'Katelyn, I'll always love you and miss you. So long and goodnight.'
I let a single tear spill out before wiping it away and turning my back to the coffin and its contents.

I waited out the front with Vicky and Joel as the guests showed up all on time and wearing black. They gave me strange looks when they saw my unusual choice of funeral attire and I glared at them 'til they looked away.

Yep, I was burning my bridges with the members of Kat's family who I'd never met. Once everyone invited showed up I reentered the church with Kat's parents and sat next to them while the ceremony began.

When it was my turn to speak I numbly stood up and spoke what came from the heart, I didn't allow myself to cry and kept a straight face the whole time, even though I was breaking inside.
The preselected songs were played and at the end of Ritual the lid of her coffin was closed and taken to the hearse.

I rode in the back of Vicky and Joel's car to the cemetery since I had no other form of transport and they weren't gonna hold up the last leg of the funeral because I had to walk. I tried to pay attention as the priest rambled on about the cliche 'ashes to ashes' stuff that Kat had never showed an interest in.

Everyone threw flowers into the grave while I stood there with a smirk at their stupidity.
Katelyn hated the thought of people wasting flowers, they cut them off the bush just so they could be buried again. I did something I knew she'd like, I wrote a short letter on a piece of paper then folded it into looking like flower.

Multitasking.

As the last rose landed her coffin was lowered, slowly enough that people would feel even worse and I kept the grim look on my face.