Forever

Frankie had cried and screamed and thrown things at me for over an hour when a nurse came in and tried to sedate him.

He yelled at her, than at me.

Screaming at me to 'fuck her too, you slut!'.

Another three nurses came in to help.

He was knocked out cold a few minutes later.

I'm sitting on the hospital bed, Frankie's sleeping form in my arms.

He's not going to forgive me.

I ran my fingers through his short hair, I heard him sigh but he didn't wake up.

I lied down on the bed, holding him closer to me, I never want to let go.

I love him too much.

But I'm going to have to.

He won't forgive me.

I fucked up too much this time.

I don't deserve him. But all I wanted was to keep him alive.

A nurse came in and gave me a sympathetic smile while she tended to the many cuts all over my arms, face and neck.

Frankie was violent when he got emotional.

She left a few minutes later and I was left there with my thoughts.

He's not going to forgive me.

I felt my phone vibrate and saw I had received a message from J.R.

I opened it

'Done'.

At least that bitch got what she deserved.

I shoved my phone back in to my pocket and resumed my act of hugging Frankie and drowning in self loathe.

-----Time Lapse-----

I woke up a few hours later, Frankie was still sound asleep in my arms.

It was morning, but just barely.

I moved slightly, Frankie shifted and woke up.

He looked around and when his eyes fell on me I felt like dying.

They looked so empty. So cold and hurt.

You know that stupid saying? 'You never know what you have until you lose it'? Well it's true.

I never realized just how bright Frankie's eyes where, until they stopped shinning.

"I wanna go home." he whispered.

"Okay, baby. Let's go." I answered.

I got up and gathered our things. Frankie's meds and my jacket.

I put it all in my bag and slung it over my shoulder.

I turned to Frankie, he was still lying on the bed.

I helped him up, putting my jacket on him since it was cold.

His hand in mine we walked out of hospital and to my Maserati in the parking lot.

I helped him in, fastening the seat-belt for him and closing the door after.

I walked to my side, getting in and starting the car.

The drive home was silent, Frankie staring out the window with an expression so vacant it hurt my heart.

When we got home I walked to Frankie's side to help him out.

He held on to my hand, but it was cold. Like he wasn't really there.

I locked the car and then we walked in to the house.

I led him to the living room, not wanting him to lock himself in the bedroom.

I left my bag on the couch and sat Frankie next to me.

He didn't object, just followed and said nothing.

The vacant expression still on his face.

"Frankie? Princess, I'm sorry." I said, placing my hand on his knee.

He didn't say anything, just sat there and stared at my hand on his knee.

I pulled him to me, sitting him on my lap and hugging him tightly.

"Princess, I am so sorry. Please, don't be mad?" he still wouldn't look at me.

I placed two fingers under his chin and tilted his head so he was looking at me.

If sad were a color it would be Frankie's eyes right now.

I leaned forward and kissed his lips slowly. He kissed back a few seconds later.

I pulled away and looked at his eyes again, they still looked sad but it was as if he were slowly coming back to normal...and it's gone. He looks as sad as ever.

"Baby, please. Talk to me." I pleaded.

He wrapped his arms around my neck and rested his head on my shoulder, nuzzling in to my neck, "I love you." he whispered.

I hugged him tighter, running my hands up and down his back, "I love you, too, princess."
"You shouldn't have done it."

"But I did it for you, princess. I couldn't have lived without you."

"You would have been better off." he said, climbing off my lap and standing in front of me.
He had lost a lot of weight since I met him. His ribs could be seen through his shirt and all his other bones where a lot more noticeable.

"Don't say that, you know it's not true. I would die without you...I love you" I said.

He huffed, a sort of half laugh. Did he think I was joking?

"Keep telling yourself that, maybe someday you'll believe it." he muttered.

I pulled him to me again. Holding on to his hips and sitting him in my lap again.

He pushed against me, wanting to get away. I grabbed his chin with my hand,making him look at me, the other wrapped tightly around his tiny waist, "Don't say that. You know I love you and if you don't then I'll tell you now. I love you, more than anything. And I would rather die, slowly and painfully, before letting something happen to you."

I pulled his face closer. Kissing his lips firmly. He squirmed even more, trying to get away. But in the end he melted in to the kiss, wrapping his slender arms around my neck and kissing back slowly.

He pulled away suddenly. He turned away from me and started to cough.

He got off me and walked to the kitchen, still coughing.

I followed him.

When he got to the kitchen he covered his mouth with a napkin and stayed like that, just coughing for a while.

I walked to him, rubbing his back and brushing his bangs out of his face.

When he finally finished I saw there was a little bit of blood on the napkin.

The doctors said that might happen. The coughing and blood.

He threw the napkin away and turned to me again, eyes cold and skin paler than usual.

I pulled him in for a hug, feeling hurt when he pushed me away.

"Are you okay, princess? Does anything hurt?" I asked softly.

He sat down on the island, giving me an 'are you motherfucking kidding me?!' look, "Just my dignity." he spat.

I sat down on a bench, "Please, forgive me, honey? I swear I didn't do it with second intentions, I just wanted you to live."

"Yeah? Well, great work. Now I get to live knowing my mate cheated on me twice, with the same bitch! Do you think I want to fucking live like that?! Knowing that I'm not enough?!
Knowing that you go and fuck other people and show absolutely no remorse?! DO YOU EXPECT ME TO BE HAPPY?! I'M FUCKING WISHING I DI-" He was cut of by another coughing fit.

He covered he mouth with his hand. Quickly wiping of the drops of blood on his jeans.

"I'm sor-" he cut me off.

"AND I'M NOT DONE!" He got off the island and stood in front of me, "WHAT GOOD IS IT THAT I'M ALIVE?! THE ONLY PERSON I CARED FOR ISN'T EVEN MINE ANYMORE! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE?! DO YOU EVEN REALIZE? I HA-" he had to stop and catch his breath, he was crying now, "I h-have to live knowing y-you're n-not just mine. I look at you and I see her and I t-think of what you could h-have done a-and it hurts, 'c-cause you didn't do it with m-me! B-because I w-wanted t-to and you r-rejected me! And s-she," he stopped as he sobbed loudly, "She had you before I did!" he backs away from me, stopping when his back hit the counter and slides sown it. He pulls his knees close to his chest and covers his mouth when he starts to cry even harder, "So d-don't y-you f-fucking say y-you're f-fucking sorry! You don't even f-fucking know w-what the f-fuck you did to m-me! Y-you s-slept w-with h-her, k-knowing h-how m-much I w-wanted y-you! Y-you d-didn't j-just c-cheat, y-you betrayed m-me! Y-you t-took w-what I w-wanted t-the m-most a-and g-gave i-it to t-that w-whore!"

Notes

SORRY FOR MAKING YOU GUYS WAIT FOR SO LONG!!!!!!!!!!

I had the worst case of writers bloc! And I know this chapter is shitty but it got out what I wanted, y'know in the end, and stuff, so...

COMMENT 8(even though I know it sucks) and RATE AND SUBSCRIBE!

Title from MCRs 'Early Sunsets over Monroeville'
that's me and a sign my friend made for me. It says "Love Is Frerard, andley, peterick, rydon, bobkey and kellic"