My Ma is an asshole.

When she leaves I start to kiss Frankie again he kisses back and I’m not mad anymore.

Frankie is all I will ever need.

He pulls away, “Come with me to check out my new house?”

“You’re seriously moving out?” I’m so disappointed I almost forgot that he would be moving.

Why the fuck does he have to leave?!

“Yeah, I mean…why are you upset?”

“Because you are moving out!”

He looked at his shoes and pouted, “Isn’t it better like that?”

“In what world is being away from my mate a good thing?!”

He flinched when I yelled, “’Cause that way we can have some space” he whispered

“Do you not want to be near me?!”

He looked up and I could see the hurt in his eyes, “In case you forgot, we have only know each other for a really little time…we need time –and space- to figure shit out.”

“Well that little time was enough for me to see that you are the love of my life and I want to spend the rest of eternity with you…wasn’t it enough for you?”

He looked away from me, “I told you I needed time.”

I lean on the counter and sigh, “what do I have to do to prove to you that I won’t leave you? Why can’t you understand Frankie…I don’t want to live if it’s not with you”

He looks at me with eyes full of love and trust, “I just…what do you suggest we do then? I mean with the house?”

“Sell it.”

He looks away from me, “And stay here?”

“Yeah.”

“…I” he didn’t continue.

“What? Whatever it is you can tell me.”

“I feel like you…think you own me.”

I gape at him, “I don’t think that! I just love you and want to spend time with you!”

“It’s not like I won’t see you again!”

“But you could be here! What do you need, what do I have to do to make you stay?!” I walk over to him and try to ignore the way he flinches when I take his hands, but I look in to his eyes and it hurts; because he looks scared and cornered.

“…don’t yell.” He whispers, barely audibly.

“I’m sorry.” I look down at his small hands which I am holding and run my thumb over his knuckles.

I looked up at him and noticed that he was looking at me intently.

“I would never hurt you.” I say

His next words hurt me more than I would have thought possible, “You already did”

He pulls away from me and walks out of the kitchen.

I slummed against the counter and tried hard not to cry.

But he was right, I was too late I already hurt him.

No matter how many time I said I was sorry those bruises would not go away and I couldn’t change what I had done.

I went after Frankie and found him in the back yard sitting on the wooden railing.

“I love you” I whisper. Because that’s all I can come up with, “I love you so much it hurts.”

“I know,” he says, still not looking at me, “I hurt too, y’know?”

I don’t answer

“I never thought I would love anyone, I thought I would live alone, and I was fucking fine with that. And then you come along and make me fall in love. I should hate you, I want to hate you...but I can’t I love you way too much.”

He turned to me then, and he smiled.

A small sort of sad but love filled smile. And I smiled back because I love him so much and he just makes me happy.

“I’m going to sell the house” he said.

I smiled at him and walked towards him, wrapping my arms around his small frame.

“I love you” I repeated.

Then he spoke, “…Does your heart belong to me?”

“Of course.”

Notes

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