It's been almost one whole week since ive seen my baby. He wont return any of my calls or anything. I miss his beautiful smile, eyes and his adorable little giggles. This happens every time. Every fuckin time i tell a guy i love him. He fuckin leaves me! The first guy was Mikey. I know he was my brother but i loved him in a way that was so much more. One night when i was 17 he was 15 i went up to his room in the middle of the night to tell him. Needless to say he didn't take it to well. I wanted to show him what i felt was real. So i tried to kiss him. He immediately pushed me away with a hard slap. I went numb and next thing i knew i was in bed sobbing. The next morning i awake to my mothers screaming. Mikey had died from an asthma attack. I felt so guilty knowing the stress i must have caused him to have had that attack. No one could know though why. About two years later i met an amazing guy named ray. We met at a club were I was working at the time, he was playing with his band. That night we had a little fun in the bathroom. It went on for a couple of weeks. Those weeks were filled with hot sex and me listening to him play random guitar riffs. I knew i wass falling in love with him. Even though we had never had a real date or anything i KNEW. Who needs thatwhen it comes to love right? He obviously did not reciprocate those feelings. I didnt see him for two weeks after that. I heard he was going to be playing again at the club were i was working so i made sure to getthat shift. I tried aproaching him before the show but he just told me to fuck off saying i was just a tight hole to stick his dick in. That hurt. The same numbness i felt with mikey took over again. Next thing i knew i was in the crowd waiting for ray and his band to come on. I saw ray with his big beautiful hair walk on stage. As the show was about to start he went to turn on his amp. The clib lights started to flicker and go crazy there was some yelling from the club goers but it stopped when the lights settled. I looked to the stage and saw rays band mates running to his body on stage. He had been electrocuted. Freak accident they said. So now i was determined. Not again am i gonna let another man i love slip through my fingers. I will show Frank how much i love him. I learn everything about him and when i do ill show him and he'll see. He will see. Even if i have to make him.

Notes

Hope you had a great weekend! I listened to isnt that something, cyber stalked mikey, followed in franks footsteps by adopting another dog, and named my new pup after gerards adorable daughter. As always thanks to whoever reads this mess!