I found myself in a deserted corridor, and curled up on a window-ledge, knees up, head down, crying so hard it hurt my tender stomach. I was hurting so much inside, my head and my heart felt like they'd explode with internal pain. I'd seen the look on Gerard's face, a light frown had crumpled his pale forehead. Disgust, that was the reason for it. He was grossed-out by my horrific excuse for a body. I didn't blame him, not one bit, but it hurt so bad. Seeing the look on his face, knowing he was thinking about how nasty I look, feeling so worthless... I wanted to cut. I really, really wanted to cut myself. There were razors in my bag, I always kept a couple for emergencies. But I knew it would be stupid to cut myself now. Extremely stupid. I was in the middle of a school, a public place, full of people who could round a corner and catch me in the act. But I wanted it, I still wanted that sweet release. No-ones here, I thought. And I'll hear if anyone comes close, I just have to pull my sleeve down... I was appeased. I dug eagerly in my bag, and quickly found them. I pulled one out, and held it up, staring at it as is glittered in the light. Then, I pushed my left sleeve up a little, and began making lines across my forearm and watching the blood trickle out. I breathed out heavily in relief, I felt so much better, an ecstatic high began to race through me, clouding my mind. I was so lost in the feeling, I didn't hear the footsteps growing ever closer to me. "Krissy, wha-" The velvet voice made me jerk in surprise, causing one of the cuts to go slightly deeper than intended. My head shot up, and I looked up in to shocked, frozen hazel eyes. Gerard. He was staring at my arm, frozen in mid-sentence. It took me a shocked moment to react, then I shot into action, pulling my sleeve down and slipping the razor in my pocket. I got up, bright red with embarassment, and tried to run as I had before. Only this time, he stopped me. "Krissy, what the hell did I just see?" I tried to get free, but he held on to the top of my arm. "Nothing, now please let go!" I fought harder. "Don't tell me that was nothing, Krissy, tell me the truth." He stared at me with soft, pleading eyes, begging for the truth. It made me sob fiercely, shaking my entire frame and making speech impossible. He pulled me into his chest, and I cried against him, soaking his black sweater with salty tears. He held me a while, and then gently pushed on my shoulders so he could see my face. "Krissy, what happened? Why did you run from us?" I stayed silent. "Come on, there must be a reason," he pleaded almost desperately. I stared up at him. Part of me wanted to confide in him, to trust him, but I didn't want him to know just how messed up I really was. He'd run without a second thought. He seemed to pick up on my reluctance, he sighed softly. "Please, Krissy," he whispered. "Please let me help you. Now, tell me why you ran." I looked down, considering, then spoke without making eye contact. "I just... When Frank asked why I wasn't eating... And you were..." His hands tightened on my shoulders, his eyes willed me to continue. I took a deep breath. "You were looking at my body, and I could tell you were disgusted. The look on your face when you saw how fat I am..." I trailed off as more tears came, silently this time. He was staing at me with a mixture of shock and anger. "What? No!" He exclaimed "I wasn't... God, Krissy, no! I don't think you're fat. At all." I stared at him. "Then why did you look so... So disgusted by me?" I asked quietly He touched my cheek. "I was thinking how thin you are, and I was worried. Krissy, you're not fat, you're the opposite. You're so tiny, I was worrying that you had an eating disorder. Which you do, don't you?" I hung my head, but he lifted my chin with his fingertips. "I'm not judging you, Krissy. I wouldn't. I won't ever mention it if you don't want me to." I smiled gratefully. "Now, about the other thing..." He turned his gaze to my left arm. I blushed furiously. He gently took my hand, and began to push my sleeve up. I heard him gasp softly as he took in the cuts, old and new. The blood was still flowing. Wordlessly, I went to my bag and pulled out the bandages I always kept. To my surprise, Gerard took them from me, and cleaned me up. When he was done, he looked at the old scars. He ran his thumb gently over some of them, scars that spelt out words 'FREAK', 'FAT', 'UGLY', 'WASTE OF SPACE'. He read them all, then looked into my eyes. "You really believe all of this?" He asked. I nodded at him, not knowing what to say. He sighed softly, then did the last thing I expected. He leant down and he brushed his lips over my scars, before pressing a gentle kiss to my cheek. "You're beautiful." He whispered the words in my ear. "Never forget that." Then he got up and walked away.

Notes

Not only is this my second update of the day, it's longer than all the others. I spoil you lovely people ;D anyway, isn't Gerard such a cutie? I'd love a guy who kissed my scars... What do we all think????? xxx