Frank groaned as he felt the familiar vibration of his cell phone buzzing around in his pocket. He took it out of his pants pocket, and threw it across the lawn. It landed on the sidewalk, with a nice thud. He didn’t care if it shattered into a million tiny pieces; he just needed the little device to stop ringing so that he could have time to stop himself from caving in. He needed to remember all of the progress that he has made over these past few months without him; it was surprising to Frank, because he had actually been happy.

He spent the last few weeks of My Chemical Romance’s farewell tour as a nervous wreck. He couldn’t eat, he couldn’t sleep - he could barely even breathe, because he knew that when the dates were over, and all of the remaining handful of shows were played, that would be it. Gerard would go home to his wife, and Frank would have to go home to his. It was the first time either man would be completely away from each other, and would be forced to call their relationship quits. It was their own fault really; the rules of their secret affair was that Frank and Gerard would be together when a part of the band, when they were recording an album or on tour. All bets were off; they could have each other whenever they wanted to, so long as the other person was willing.

Gerard was always willing, for he was deeply in love with Frank. Mid-life crisis struck him early however, and he foolishly got married to one of the girls that was on tour with them one night while Frank’s fiancée at the time came by to visit. Gerard got drunk because he couldn’t handle seeing Frank and his fiancée together, it made their real life seem so… real. So in order to forget about Frank, he developed a relationship with one of the girls from the other bands they played with day in and day out of that tour, and… married her.

Frank knew then and there that he needed to find a way to get Gerard back. He needed him to annul his marriage, so they could have a real shot at being together. But Gerard refused, saying that it’s Frank’s own fault for being engaged to his long-term girlfriend for so long. He knew that Frank would marry her eventually, after all, she had been around for him since he first joined the band. Gerard’s reasoning was that he ‘couldn’t interfere with real love’. He needed to find his own love, too, because Frank was spoken for.

Things were never the same between the two lovers since. Months had gone by; Gerard was too busy being a newlywed to notice Frank, and Frank was too busy lying awake at night trying to think of ways to win Gerard back. However, it was a fruitless attempt. Nothing could be done to convince Gerard that he was the real person that Frank was in love with, and wanted nothing more than to be with. Frank wanted Gerard to be his forever, but Gerard was too stubborn to realize it.

When Frank went ahead and married his long-term girlfriend, he had accepted the fact that Gerard was taken by someone else. He settled for the girl that had been around for forever, but that relationship only went so far. Immediately after My Chemical Romance’s hiatus, Frank quickly went on tour with another band, just so he could stay out of the house and away from her. He did love her; but not the same way that he loved Gerard. Deep down, he blamed her, for ruining their relationship. Everything had been perfect; they would spend every waking moment together, and would fall asleep together every night. They would sneak off to random places so they could have their own time together, away from everyone else, to just simply be together. But whenever she popped up on tour, they would be forced to separate, forced to ignore the other for fear of her finding out. She wasn’t stupid; she knew, which is exactly why she went on tour to follow them in the first place. She got what she wanted, she ruined Frank’s relationship with Gerard, and that was all that mattered.

So as Frank sits on the front steps of the house that he shares with her, thinking about the seven missed phone calls that he has gotten today all from Gerard, he takes a long drag off of his cigarette and takes his time exhaling the cancerous venom from his lungs.

His heart is still racing, wondering why Gerard is calling him. It is only a few days before Christmas, perhaps he’s in town visiting his family. Mikey only lives about twenty minutes away, while their mom and dad live about an hour away. It makes sense that he would want to stop by to say hello to Frank, too. But if he’s bringing the wife along with him, Frank would rather ignore all possibilities of seeing Gerard, at all. He’d rather ignore every phone call, delete every text message, and voice message that Gerard leaves than hear that Gerard is stopping by with the missus.

However, when Frank heard the phone ringing from inside, he quickly hopped up to retrieve it before his wife could. He made it to the cordless phone in the living room, but couldn’t find the phone itself. It kept ringing, mocking him and toying with him until he found the fucking contraption. He could hear it, but so far, it remained hidden in some unknown spot unseen to the human eye. Just as he ripped each of the cushions away from the couch, he froze.

“Hello?”

Frank cringed; she had gotten it before he could.

“Oh hello, Gerard,” his wife said from the kitchen, where Frank slowly inched his way toward the doorway so he could better hear their conversation.

“Frank? Oh no, he stepped out for a moment, I’m afraid. I’ll tell him you called, okay? Bye!”

She hung up before Frank’s mouth even had time to drop open.

“What the fuck did you do that for?” Frank questioned, watching as his wife cringed upon seeing his presence in the kitchen along with her.

“Oh baby, I didn’t realize you were home!” She chucked nervously, immediately busying herself as she prepared to make dinner.

“Who was that?” Frank questioned once more, leaning up against the granite countertop.

“Oh, it was nobody-”

“You mean, it was Gerard?” Frank interrupted, noticing her body visibly stiffen.

“Frank, you know how I feel about him. It’s Christmas, I can’t have him ruining things for us. We’re finally happy. Please just let him go, for me,” she pleaded with her husband, now standing directly in front of him. As she reached up to grab a hold of each of Frank’s hands, he allowed her to, just so he could speak his peace with her.

“And you know how I feel about him,” Frank retaliated, yanking his hands away from hers. “He’s in my band, I can’t just ignore him. It may have been something important.”

“No, you’re in his band. Leathermouth is your new band, why don’t you just stay away from him and the rest of the guys for a bit longer? At least ‘til after Christmas?”

“Will you listen to yourself, how fucking selfish you’re being?” Frank was fuming now. His heart was beating even faster now, and his blood was boiling. He needed to get out of the house, before he did something that he would regret.

“I have never been the selfish one here, Frank!” She spat back at Frank, her tone evening out the level of rage that Frank’s had reached. “I have sat back while you’ve fucked around behind my back, because I love you. All these years I’ve waited so patiently for you, and this is how you repay me?”

Frank knew that she was right; he was acting like a completely heartless prick. But he couldn’t help the way he felt about Gerard, and he didn’t regret their relationship one tiny bit. His time with Gerard was the happiest he had ever been; how could something that felt so wonderful be considered so wrong?

“You are away every chance you get a chance to leave me. We haven’t even made love since our wedding night, dammit!”

Frank glared at her - there was a very specific reason for that, and she knew it. The truth was, when it came to having sex with her, Frank couldn’t get it up. He was way too young to be having erectile problems, but he knew that something was definitely wrong.

“Oh Frankie, I’m sorry. I know, it was wrong of me to bring up-”

“No hun, I’m sorry,” Frank whispered, rubbing her wrist gently. “But I can’t help the way I feel, or what I’ve done. You married me knowing what you were getting yourself in to. I haven’t been unfaithful to you since we said our vows, but I can’t keep living like this. I am going insane, I don’t know what the fuck I’m supposed to do.”

With those words, he slipped on his jacket and grabbed his keys from the kitchen counter.

“Where are you going?” She pleaded, grabbing his arm.

“Out. I need to get some fresh air.”

He ripped his arm away from her, and proceeded to walk toward the front door. “If you walk out of this door, Frank, I promise you that you will regret it.”

Her words registered to him the instant he placed his hands around the door knob. “Is that so?” He questioned, turning around to face her. He walked back toward her, and placed a long, deep kiss upon her lips. It was nothing like kissing Gerard, but it had been a long time since he’d had a kiss like this.

“I’ve never regretted anything in my life," Frank spoke softly against her lips, rubbing her cheek gently with his thumb. "I certainly won’t start now.”

He ignored her pleas for him to stay, and walked out of the door for good this time. He was very aware that his actions would come back to haunt him; but right now, he didn’t care. He just needed to get out of that house, so he could begin to untangle his thoughts and process them more clearly.

Before he got in his car, Frank noticed his cell phone tossed in front of him on the pavement. He picked up the pieces, realizing that it didn’t seem that badly damaged. He placed the battery back inside, and put the back cover of the phone over back in place. As he pressed the power button to turn it on, he smiled in relief as the little device started to power itself on just fine. As he backed out of the driveway, he lit up another cigarette, just in time to hear the phone ringing once more.

"What do you want from me, Gerard...?"

Notes

Wrote this five years ago, finally posted it.
If you want to know what happens next... you know what to do!