I wasn't sure why at first but everyone seemed to think that I should be completely fucked up after seeing that video.

Aside from being bored out of my mind I didn't notice anything.

"What's wrong with her? Why didn't she go numb?" Fun asked, turning around and looking cautiously at me as if I might suddenly burst into flames or vomit blood around the car.

"I don't know. She should be praising BLI like crazy right now." Party replied, squeezing my hand and giving me a smile.

"There's a chance it's because she's one of The Comatose." Kobra suggested and I frowned, not enjoying how they were talking about me like I wasn't even there.

"No that's not it, they've gotten hypnotized from watching it before." Jet said, a thinking look on his face that I hoped was good.

"Might it be the fuck I don't give that's keeping me safe?" They ignored me and continued talking anyway.

"I reckon we should take her to Mama." Fun got a thinking look on his face that was so serious you could almost see the lightbulb appear.

"Who's Mama?" I asked, I believe I should at least get an answer to this, that's only fair.

"Psycho Mama, she's probably the oldest Killjoy, older than The Doc and anyone else. We don't even know if she's a Killjoy really, she's just kinda showed up. Doesn't tolerate the Dracs and their bullshit though. There's rumors that back in the day she used to go with Korse." Party said, someone finally listening to me and responding.

"She's also a complete nutjob, good kinda nutjob, not evil laughter, trying to take over the universe nutjob. She just says stuff that's a little off the wall sometimes." Ghoul shrugged like it was no big deal at all, it shouldn't be a surprise there was a crazy person or two out here.

"So we go there?" Fun checked with the group, getting some yeses and hitting the accelerator, the car zooming forward.

"I'm really glad you're okay." Party murmured, his light hazel eyes focusing on me.

"I'd hope so." I joked while being serious at the same time, it wouldn't be nice to find out that someone you cared about didn't care for you.

"No it'd be awful. If you went numb I think I'd start a cycle and that's not something anyone wants." Yeah I'd seen Party get mad and he seemed to do a good job of losing his head.

Poison put a hand on the side of my face, stroking my cheek with his thumb and making my face gradually go red.

Next to me Kobra started up with the gagging sounds, not liking how sappy Party and I could get.

"If you don't shut up I swear we'll do 'it' right here, right now in the back of the car on top of everyone." I snapped and the sounds halted, thought that'd work, I think I've trained them into being scared of me.

"If you guys start making out I'll drive the car off a cliff." Ghoul warned, me not believing him for even a moment since he wouldn't put his own life in danger.

The car was silent for a while except for the occasional chatter and the humming of the motor then finally after what felt like ages...

"We're here." Ghoul said, bringing the car to a stop and opening his door.

The rest of the guys, counting Sunshine, climbed out, leaving Party and I still sitting.

"I thought you should know that she has some really off behavior but just go with it and you'll be fine." Party told me, helping me out of the car at the same time with a happy smile.

I looked around the desert landscape, nothing for miles and miles around except for tumbleweeds.
A lone shack stood on the sand, leaning slightly to the side and appearing to be a large but old bomb shelter or something along those lines.

Much unlike its surrounding area the shack was crawling with plants, vines coming out the windows and creeping across the roof.

"You guys sure she isn't crazy?" I asked, raising a skeptical eyebrow as Jet walked up to the door.

"No." Was Kobra's response, great, we're in the middle of nowhere standing outside an insane persons house.

Jet knocked on the rusty door and there was the sound of clinking before it opened a crack.

"Who is it?"

"Jet Star and the Killjoys." He responded to the woman sticking her head out the crack.

The door opened so fast I thought it was going to fly off its hinges and a woman came out.

She had white blonde hair, sticking up in multiple directions and making it impossible for me to tell if her hair was knotted or just fluffy like that.

It was impossible to tell what her face was like since it'd been heavily painted.

Her outfit looked like it'd been put together from completely random items, overly ripped jeans with legging peaking out underneath. Scuffed up boots with a hole in the side, a layers and layers of ripped shirts with different designs and multiple belts hanging from her hips.

The only sensible item I could see was the ray gun at her rib cage, wearing it the same as Jet and Ghoul.

"There's a starman waiting in the sky. He'd like to come and meet us. But he thinks he'd blow our minds." She sung, hugging Jet and Kobra who were standing closest.

"Come in, come in." She ushered the Killjoys into the shack that despite looking big I knew wouldn't be able to fit all of us.

She closed the door behind us, muttering something under her breath about the ceiling never fitting right and I grabbed Party's hand.

"Don't let go." He told me as we walked to the corner of the dark room, Poison appearing to sink into the floor before I realised he was walking down a staircase.

I followed him, not willing to loosen my grip on his hand while in this crazy persons house.

It was a shock to see the sudden transition from narrow stairs to huge open room and I had to give my eyes a moment to adjust.

It was a basement, a faux building to hide what was really down here which was a complete underground house.

Mama pushed past us, walking towards what I think was the kitchen.

"Would any of you like something to eat?" She asked, holding up a bag of what looked like herbs.

"Don't eat anything." Party murmured quietly so only I'd be able to hear him as we sat down on an old couch.

"We're fine thanks." Sunshine held up a hand, refusing the bag of herbs she was offering.

"What do you kiddies wanna know?" She dropped in an old armchair, springs and stuffing coming out the sides.

"She saw one or BLIs hypno videos and she's fine. How could she be fine? No one else has ever been." Kobra said, gesturing to me with his other hand on his hip.

"How long have you been out here for?" I thought for a moment, adding up the time I've been out here with them.

"Six days." I told her, holding onto Party's hand a little tighter thanks to the scary look she was giving me.

"You taken any pills?"

"No, I don't think so." I'm actually pretty sure I haven't taken any of the pills or eaten anything that might have them in it.

She stared intensely at me before looking away and muttering something to herself.

"You're comatose, I can tell that much. What were you doing, say five minutes before you saw the screen?"

"I was packin' up the Trans Am and before that I was, uh, kissing Party Poison." She grinned when I finished my sentence, giving Party a knowing look.

"Well there's your answer! Intense feelings shut it out and don't forget that you've never had the pills." She wagged a finger at us before eating some of the herbs from the plastic bag.

"Alright, everything's answered. Problems have been solved, alliances formed, bonds broken. Now get out before the flies start swarming." She stood up and began to push Kobra to the stairs, him reluctantly moving.

"Wait, I can't remember anything about my old life. I wanna know why." I stopped her with my question and she looked at me.

"Kid, you're comatose. They blanked out everyone's noggins last year. You aren't supposed to have memory's." She told me before pushing Kobra to the stairs once more which almost looked funny since he was taller than her.

"You can't just erase someone's memories and I've had dreams, I can't remember what's in them but I know they're my memories." I jumped up and Party stood as well putting his hands on my shoulders.

"There's only one suggestion I can give you and there's no guarantee it'll work. Eat this." She walked to the kitchen and came back, holding a dried, buttonlike object in her hand.

"'Lectric, don't eat it." Party warned me, hands tightening and I took a deep breath before deciding to ignore him.

I grabbed the object from her hand and ate it in one go.
Whatever it'd been it was bitter on my tongue and even rougher on the way down.

I probably didn't make the smartest of choices just then.

"Don't do that, spit it out." Party turned me around, crouching and looking at me, looking scared.

"You'll start to feel the effects of that soon, don't worry about whatever happens. Rashes, sweats, fevers, nausea. It'll pass." She waved her hand about carelessly like the things she just described would be no big deal.

"You could have told me above that before I ate it!" I yelled and she shrugged like it was no big deal that I could possibly die.

"If things get too bad smoke this." She held up the bag she'd been eating from earlier.

"No." Poison and I said simultaneously, refusing to use whatever crazy plant that was.

"I'll take it." Ghoul volunteered and she threw him the bag, a grin on his face before he pocketed it.

"Come on, let's get you to the car. Maybe Dr. D will have something to smooth it at the radio shack." Party ushered me up the stairs, away from Mama with the Killjoys following closely behind us.

We walked up the stairs, Mama muttering to herself for the third time since I've been here, talking some more about flies.

Poison put an arm around my waist but I didn't get the feeling he was trying to be romantic, he was acting as support to hold me up.

"Party," the woman's voice called out and he turned, "I suggest you take good care of her for the next few days, she'll be sensitive to absolutely everything." Mama said, not making eye contact with him.

She was looking around at the sky, as if watching invisible flying creatures and she pulled out her beamer.

"Blasted flies, they never leave me alone." Mama aimed before pulling the trigger, the laser beam flying though the air then disappearing with a spark.

Did she actually hit something then?

"One less fly," she walked back to the shack, stepping through the doorway, "bastards keep trying to steal my pound cake." She slammed the door behind her, disappearing.

I watched the structure for a moment, trying to figure out what the hell just happened, then the effects of the food took hold.

If Party didn't have his hand around me I would have dropped to the ground, my legs felt like they'd gone completely numb.

The Killjoys got into the car, Party Poison scooping me up and having to carry me to the the Trans Am.

The engine hadn't been running for more than a couple of seconds before my eyesight went blurry, objects doubling then disappearing completely.

A buzzing sound was playing without pause in my ears, reaching a high volume.

"Party, my head." I mumbled, trying to lift my hand and shut out the sound but not being able to move.

"I was given the same thing once, it'll settle down, try to relax." He placed a hand on my forehead, his palm feeling cool on my skin that I hadn't even realised I'd heated up.

"She said the next few days, is this going to last for days?" I asked, wanting anyone in the car to respond and reassure me that I wasn't going to be stuck like this.

"It wears off, it's just aftereffects you have to worry about." The ringing in my ears changed, now a strange warbling sound like a bird.

"I smell plants." I said, a rustling nose going off in my left ear.

Party sighed loudly, adjusting me on his lap so my head was leaning on his shoulder.

The world around me was tinted green, like I was in a forest but I was still in the car, in 2019.
What the fuck is wrong with me?

Now I can hear people laughing, talking too but their voices not coming through clearly, it was like the volume needed to be turned up.

"And what if I fall on a bad angle?" Tongue, what are you doing, you're speaking weird.
More sounds of people speaking.

"Okay, I'll do it." Party was looking at me as if I was insane which is a totally reasonable reaction.

A scream left my throat and Ghoul swerved the car, barely managing to regain control.
A blinding pain shot through me, any sensation I had left disappeared and my body fell limp.

~~~

Reality kept fading in and out, making me unable to tell what was going on.

I heard sounds that I felt like I should know but didn't recognise. I smelt things that shouldn't be in the desert and spent the whole time trying to make sense of what I was seeing.

Visions of people would blur past me, voice speaking that I was unable to reply to.

There only person I could listen and talk to in my delusional state was Party and even he struggled to understand me.

I don't know how long I was like that, a day, maybe even more. Time just seemed to drift on endlessly, no start it end in sight and it was horrible.

I regretted taking whatever it was the woman gave me and I'd undo the decision if I could.
It was supposed to help me to recover my memories, not turn me into a babbling ruin.

I wanted to go back to my normal life, I wanted to be able to operate my blaster without being considered a hazard.

"How are you feeling?" Party asked, crouching next to where I was lying on a sleeping bag, his seemed distorted for a moment before coming into focus.

"I don't know." I mumbled and he pressed his hand to my forehead, checking to see if the temperature I've had has gone down yet.

"You're fever's dropped a little." He smiled reassuringly at me which calmed the horrific thoughts of how this was going to end me.

"How many fingers am I holding up?" He lifted his hand and I frowned, trying to count.

"Four?" His smile faltered slightly and he shook his head.

Party moved himself around so he was lying on the sleeping bag next to me and I turned over, putting my head on his chest and pinning him down with a leg over his waist.

"Everything sounds so weird, it's like I can feel it." I told him, listening to the sound of his breathing as his chest rose and fell.

"Do you think you could, uh." There was something I wanted to ask him but it was more difficult getting the words out than I thought.

"What?"

"Um, could you sing for me?" He was totally within his rights if he wanted to say no.

"Where, where will we stand? When all the lights go out across these city streets? Where were you when all of the embers fell? I still remember them. Covered in ash. Covered in glass. Covered in all my friends. I still think of the bombs they built." His voice was perfect and as crazy as it sounds I could feel it in my skin, every single word.

"If there's a place I could be. Then I'd be another memory. Can I be the only hope for you? Because you're the only hope for me. And if we can't find where we belong. We'll have to make it on our own. Face all the pain and take it on. Because the only hope for me is you." I recognized the words from the notepad Party had been writing in earlier.

"Alone, how it should be. Many is after the disasters that we've seen. What have we learned? Other than people burn in purifying flame." Despite how much I was enjoying the sound of his voice something about me felt wrong, very wrong.

"I'll say it's okay. I know you can tell. Although you can see me smile. I still think of the guns they sell." I slowly sat up, frowning and wondering why I felt like this.

"If there's a place I could be. Then I'd be another memory. Can I be the only hope for you? Because you're the only hope for me." I edged away from him and closer to the side of the sleeping bag.

"And if we can't find where we belong. We'll have to make it on our own. Face all the pain and take it on. Because the only hope for me is you alone."

I stood, ran to a crop of rocks then threw up.

Party stopped singing and bolted over, holding my hair back as I vomited onto the sand.

"Sorry for making you have to watch that." I muttered, wiping mouth with a rag that Party gave me, I really didn't want him to be a witness of my sudden attack of sickness.

"It's alright, are you feeling better now? How many fingers am I holding up?" I narrowed my eyes, focusing on Party's hand.

"Three." I said and he let out a sigh of relief, a smile on his face when I got it right.

"Your fever's almost gone too. I think it's all over." I was beyond thankful to hear that, although slightly pissed off because it did nothing to help my memories.

Poison put an arm around my waist and walked with me back to the sleeping bag.

I sat down, leaning on Party when he dropped next to me.

"I just went through a whole bunch of shit for absolutely nothing." I groaned, still feeling the lingering effects of whatever it was that I'd eaten.

"You'll find some other way to get your memories back." He stroked my hair, a calming feeling that made me blush ever so slightly.

"Maybe-ugh." Like a light being turned off the world went dark, a feeling of complete weightlessness passed over me mixed with the sensation of falling.

---

"Scream! Shout! We are the fallen angels!" The person onstage yelled while my friend and I sung at the top of our lungs.

"Glad I made you go now?" I asked her and she looked at me, nodding before turning back to the stage.

"We are the in between, cast down as sons of war. Struck to the earth like lightning, on this world we're torn. We won't cause the pain, of living out their law. Take joy in who you are, we know our wings are flawed." Moshing has never been this fun before, I never want to forget this for as long as I live.

---

"Are you sure you'll be alright at the lake?"

"I'll be fine, what's the worse that could happen anyway?" I laughed and walked out the door, hitching my backpack up my shoulder.

---

"Okay, I'll do it." I took a couple of steps closer to the edge, sucking in a deep breath at the same time in an attempt to muster any courage I might have left.

"On the count of three, one, two, three."

I jumped.

---

"I know you're in there and I know you can't respond but I want to tell you to hold on, don't give up. You can get yourself out of this." A hand stroked my arm, soft and gentle but withdrawn at the same time.

"Miss, we have her results back. It doesn't seem like she'll be waking up anytime soon. It'll be a miracle if she wakes up at all, I'm very sorry."

"B-but, this can't happen. She should be fine, she should be standing and walking and talking. This wasn't meant to happen to her!"

---

"Subject 318 had responded well to treatments. We can expect that she'll be making a full recovery." A heavily accented voice said, sounding official as well.

"How long?"

"I'd say she'd be ready to begin the waking process in the next three months or so." The conversation faded into another language I wasn't able to understand before returning to English.

"Her memories?"

"Locked away, she's a clean, blank canvas.

---

"Electric," Party shook me, "Electric!"

I snapped out of the daze I'd entered, feeling my tears pour down my face like a waterfall.

"It's okay." He comforted me as I started shaking, my crying coming out as sobs.

I don't even know what happened to be, I just felt so alone and empty, it was horrible.

"Aww, sugar. You'll be fine." I leant my head into his chest, ruining his shirt and jacket with my crying.

"What did you see." He asked, running a hand over my hair and pushing it behind my ear.

"I don't know, I heard things and I got flashes of pictures and old thoughts but nothing that I could really understand." I told him, sniffing back some more tears and wanting to stop crying so Party wouldn't think I was weak.

"We'll find some way to get your memories back. I mean it hasn't been done before but if you can get flashes then that should be proof it's possible." He was trying to make me feel better and it was working.

"And even if you can't remember anything you'll still have a place here with the Killjoys." He put a finger under my chin, tilting my head up so I'd look at him.
"With me."