If I can't have you - Frerard/Frikey
love lust faith + dreams
Frank lay in his boyfriends arms, he didn't feel safe anymore, he felt scared and alone and vulnerable. Sad thing is his boyfriend knew it too. It wasn't like when they started out, he sometimes wondered if he had made him start drugs. What had he done wrong? He'd done all he asked and was good, what did he do wrong?
"Frankie?" Slurred Gerard
"Y-yeah?" He cursed himself for not being able to stop his voice shaking 'you're weak, that's why' a bitter voice inside his head snapped
"Pass m'beer"
"You should stop you know" he murmured as he reached for the can that had been sat on the windowsill for god knows how long, having to pull at it with his finger tips because Gerard refused to let him go 'literally and metaphorically' the voice in his head
"Don't tell me what to do you slut" he growled, he was high, that's why he's saying it. Well, that's what frank told himself. Chocking back tears, he held the can towards Gerard, who just raised an eyebrow
"I-I thought you wanted the beer?"
"Yeah but if I let go you'll try to run" a dark chuckle came from the back of Gerard's throat "open it then" he snarled. With shaking fingers the 17 year old pulled the dusty metal ring and opened the lukewarm beer can. Gerard pulled one arm away from his waist to pinned him to his own with the other arm, he snatched the can from frank's trembling hand and took a swig of the tepid amber liquid. Soon, he had downed the whole can of fosters. Gerard's hand creeped up to his chest and forced him to lay back down again. Frank just closed his eyes and let the tears roll down his cheeks, onto his high as hell boyfriend's t-shirt.
~~
He woke up shaking, covered in a sheet of icy sweat, wrapped in his lover's arms that remained him so much of his ex. Mikey was in a deep sleep, he decided against waking him up. He thought about his old relationship, it was his love for Gerard that kept him there, Gerard's lust that made him so desperate to stop Frank from leaving, Frank's faith in Gerard of pulling through and both thief dreams of being through with that hell that made them want to be together so badly now. Except Frank didn't want to be with him, he never wanted to be with him, he wasn't the Gerard he fell in love with. He was a phycotic drug user and abusive boyfriend, not the outgoing, gentle and loving guy he fell for, but the higher you go, the harder you fall. Frank looked out the window, looking across the street to the dingy child's park, it looked down right scary in the middle of the night, the swings swaying slowly, the shadows that seemed to move when you blinked... Just...Creepy. Then again, knowing the local area, anyone wandering around at this time of night would probably get jumped. Hm.
~~
As Frank pulled on his converse he heard a muffled moan from behind him "Frank? What are you doing?" Mikey asked, sleep heavy in his voice
"M' going on a wall" murmured frank and he turned around and took Mikey's hand.
"At 1:30?"
"I can't sleep" he whispered
"Was it the dreams again?" Mikey inquired, his voice softer this time. Frank just nodded. "Baby" Mikey cooed as he pulled frank into his arms, hugging him tightly "he can't get you anymore" he gently kissed he top of Frank's head "if you want me any time any place, I will be there for you, okay?"
"Okay"
Mikey was not okay. He knew Gerard was bad, but he has caused some serious mental damage. To the point where he couldn't sleep without getting nightmares and was afraid to say no to anything. Yet he knew frank still cared for his brother, he still wanted him to be ok, and Mikey knew on some level, that frank still loved Gerard, but he wasn't letting Gerard take him back.
"Frankie?" Slurred Gerard
"Y-yeah?" He cursed himself for not being able to stop his voice shaking 'you're weak, that's why' a bitter voice inside his head snapped
"Pass m'beer"
"You should stop you know" he murmured as he reached for the can that had been sat on the windowsill for god knows how long, having to pull at it with his finger tips because Gerard refused to let him go 'literally and metaphorically' the voice in his head
"Don't tell me what to do you slut" he growled, he was high, that's why he's saying it. Well, that's what frank told himself. Chocking back tears, he held the can towards Gerard, who just raised an eyebrow
"I-I thought you wanted the beer?"
"Yeah but if I let go you'll try to run" a dark chuckle came from the back of Gerard's throat "open it then" he snarled. With shaking fingers the 17 year old pulled the dusty metal ring and opened the lukewarm beer can. Gerard pulled one arm away from his waist to pinned him to his own with the other arm, he snatched the can from frank's trembling hand and took a swig of the tepid amber liquid. Soon, he had downed the whole can of fosters. Gerard's hand creeped up to his chest and forced him to lay back down again. Frank just closed his eyes and let the tears roll down his cheeks, onto his high as hell boyfriend's t-shirt.
~~
He woke up shaking, covered in a sheet of icy sweat, wrapped in his lover's arms that remained him so much of his ex. Mikey was in a deep sleep, he decided against waking him up. He thought about his old relationship, it was his love for Gerard that kept him there, Gerard's lust that made him so desperate to stop Frank from leaving, Frank's faith in Gerard of pulling through and both thief dreams of being through with that hell that made them want to be together so badly now. Except Frank didn't want to be with him, he never wanted to be with him, he wasn't the Gerard he fell in love with. He was a phycotic drug user and abusive boyfriend, not the outgoing, gentle and loving guy he fell for, but the higher you go, the harder you fall. Frank looked out the window, looking across the street to the dingy child's park, it looked down right scary in the middle of the night, the swings swaying slowly, the shadows that seemed to move when you blinked... Just...Creepy. Then again, knowing the local area, anyone wandering around at this time of night would probably get jumped. Hm.
~~
As Frank pulled on his converse he heard a muffled moan from behind him "Frank? What are you doing?" Mikey asked, sleep heavy in his voice
"M' going on a wall" murmured frank and he turned around and took Mikey's hand.
"At 1:30?"
"I can't sleep" he whispered
"Was it the dreams again?" Mikey inquired, his voice softer this time. Frank just nodded. "Baby" Mikey cooed as he pulled frank into his arms, hugging him tightly "he can't get you anymore" he gently kissed he top of Frank's head "if you want me any time any place, I will be there for you, okay?"
"Okay"
Mikey was not okay. He knew Gerard was bad, but he has caused some serious mental damage. To the point where he couldn't sleep without getting nightmares and was afraid to say no to anything. Yet he knew frank still cared for his brother, he still wanted him to be ok, and Mikey knew on some level, that frank still loved Gerard, but he wasn't letting Gerard take him back.
@RubyToroIeroWayLeto
okay cool thanks!
5/28/14