Blood Donor
Chapter 8
“So what about you? What mind boggling journey led up to you being a psychopath blood donor?” I ask him after a few moments of awkward silence.
He shrugs, “Well, it’s not as glamorous as yours. No dead family members at least. I mean, my mom died when I was little but that was before the vamps came out. I dunno. Normal childhood like you I guess. Unhealthy obsessions with horror movies and punk rock. Even tried being in a band once. Turns out people don’t really like it when I sing.
“I did start college. That’s where I met Jamia. After the first year we decided to forget all that shit and just start working. She became a waitress at a local place and I kept trying to make it with music…And failing. So I switched to working in a music store instead. That’s pretty much all there is to it, cuz you know the rest.”
I stare at him, “Absolutely none of that explained why you’re so bat-shit crazy.”
He shrugs, “I don’t think I am crazy. I grew up with a fear of dying just like any person. Honestly, when you got me I thought I was a goner. Hadn’t meant to be out so late so I was hurrying home. I was so amazed when you let me go…I dunno. I knew that either I was special or you were, and I know it wasn’t me.”
I shake my head, “You’re too trusting. I could have been any of them. And no matter what they tell you, they’re only after blood.”
“But...You weren’t any of them. You were...are…you. And you are a really amazing individual.”
I don’t see it coming. Literal blind side. All of a sudden his lips are on mine and I’m tasting him in a way I haven’t before. It’s so different from his blood. An acrid mix of the two things he was indulging in when I found him. I’m also able to smell past his blood this close. He gives off a mix of after shave and soap. Clearly a pretty clean guy. And I’m…Enjoying it.
My eyes slip closed on their own. I’m about to pull him closer when he does the opposite. He yanks back quickly with a look that says he wasn’t expecting that either. He starts to open and close his mouth, looking like a fish. Maybe he can’t breathe…That would be bad. I don’t know CPR.
“Fuck, I’m sorry! I, shit, I’m just gonna…” he moves to stand, but I grab his arm. He looks at me and I bring him back into a kiss. I don’t know why I was enjoying it so much, but I’m determined to find out.
Nothing’s changed in the two seconds we were apart. Not that I thought it would. There’s something bitter-sweet about being connected to him in this way. Like I know I shouldn’t be kissing him, but I can’t help myself. My arms snake around him and pull him close. His do the same to my neck. And then somehow the kiss is deepening. Tongues intertwine. His cheek catches on my left fang…
And starts to bleed. Just a tiny bit, but it’s so tempting. A hint of the freshness I’ve been denied with all those travel mugs. If I let myself hang onto him any longer I could do something I’ll regret. Something that will hurt him. And if I hurt him…I don’t think I’ll be able to live with myself. I have to stop. But I don’t. I sit there frozen to the spot. It’s not that I want to hang on…It’s that I can’t let go.
Frank lets out a slight moan, and that snaps me out of my trance. I push him away, perhaps a little too hard. He slides back to the other side of the couch and looks at me with a confused and hurt expression. Fuck. It looks like I just led him on only to reject him. I have to explain.
“It’s not you!” I say a little too loudly, “You had a cut on your cheek and I…I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to control myself.”
He crawls forward with a slight smile and cups my face, “But you did.”
“Yeah. Barely.”
He shakes his head, “How long did you go without eating before I came along?”
“About a year…Maybe two,” I see where he’s going with this.
“So if you went that long and were able to control yourself, there’s no way you’d lose it now.”
“Really? Does someone who’s addicted to crack an then stops for two years control himself perfectly no matter how much he’s exposed afterwards? You don’t get it Frank!”
He looks thoughtful for a minute, “I think I get it.”
“Really?” Judging by his face I seriously doubt that.
“You’re trying to spare my feelings. If you don’t like me you can just say so.”
Of all the stupid… “Didn’t I just say that’s not it?! God, you’re like a puppy that can’t learn not to poop on the floor. I am dangerous. My body is constantly screaming at me to eat you, and one day I won’t be able to tell it no. It’s better for both of us if I just leave…”
Why am I even trying at this point? I don’t really want to leave. I want to stay here and be his friend…Possibly his lover. I think that scares me. That’s why I’m fighting it so much. I’m scared of getting too close to someone after all this time of being alone. If he wants to be insane, why should I stop him? I shouldn’t. I should just leave him be. Do what I want for a change.
He grabs my arm, “Please don’t leave. I’ll stay out of your way, anything, just don’t leave.”
I sigh, “Fine. I mean, you don’t have to stay away from me…I kinda like having you close.”
He smiles wider them and hugs onto me tightly, “Thank you, Gee. You won’t regret this. I won’t let you.”
Let’s hope he’s right.
He shrugs, “Well, it’s not as glamorous as yours. No dead family members at least. I mean, my mom died when I was little but that was before the vamps came out. I dunno. Normal childhood like you I guess. Unhealthy obsessions with horror movies and punk rock. Even tried being in a band once. Turns out people don’t really like it when I sing.
“I did start college. That’s where I met Jamia. After the first year we decided to forget all that shit and just start working. She became a waitress at a local place and I kept trying to make it with music…And failing. So I switched to working in a music store instead. That’s pretty much all there is to it, cuz you know the rest.”
I stare at him, “Absolutely none of that explained why you’re so bat-shit crazy.”
He shrugs, “I don’t think I am crazy. I grew up with a fear of dying just like any person. Honestly, when you got me I thought I was a goner. Hadn’t meant to be out so late so I was hurrying home. I was so amazed when you let me go…I dunno. I knew that either I was special or you were, and I know it wasn’t me.”
I shake my head, “You’re too trusting. I could have been any of them. And no matter what they tell you, they’re only after blood.”
“But...You weren’t any of them. You were...are…you. And you are a really amazing individual.”
I don’t see it coming. Literal blind side. All of a sudden his lips are on mine and I’m tasting him in a way I haven’t before. It’s so different from his blood. An acrid mix of the two things he was indulging in when I found him. I’m also able to smell past his blood this close. He gives off a mix of after shave and soap. Clearly a pretty clean guy. And I’m…Enjoying it.
My eyes slip closed on their own. I’m about to pull him closer when he does the opposite. He yanks back quickly with a look that says he wasn’t expecting that either. He starts to open and close his mouth, looking like a fish. Maybe he can’t breathe…That would be bad. I don’t know CPR.
“Fuck, I’m sorry! I, shit, I’m just gonna…” he moves to stand, but I grab his arm. He looks at me and I bring him back into a kiss. I don’t know why I was enjoying it so much, but I’m determined to find out.
Nothing’s changed in the two seconds we were apart. Not that I thought it would. There’s something bitter-sweet about being connected to him in this way. Like I know I shouldn’t be kissing him, but I can’t help myself. My arms snake around him and pull him close. His do the same to my neck. And then somehow the kiss is deepening. Tongues intertwine. His cheek catches on my left fang…
And starts to bleed. Just a tiny bit, but it’s so tempting. A hint of the freshness I’ve been denied with all those travel mugs. If I let myself hang onto him any longer I could do something I’ll regret. Something that will hurt him. And if I hurt him…I don’t think I’ll be able to live with myself. I have to stop. But I don’t. I sit there frozen to the spot. It’s not that I want to hang on…It’s that I can’t let go.
Frank lets out a slight moan, and that snaps me out of my trance. I push him away, perhaps a little too hard. He slides back to the other side of the couch and looks at me with a confused and hurt expression. Fuck. It looks like I just led him on only to reject him. I have to explain.
“It’s not you!” I say a little too loudly, “You had a cut on your cheek and I…I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to control myself.”
He crawls forward with a slight smile and cups my face, “But you did.”
“Yeah. Barely.”
He shakes his head, “How long did you go without eating before I came along?”
“About a year…Maybe two,” I see where he’s going with this.
“So if you went that long and were able to control yourself, there’s no way you’d lose it now.”
“Really? Does someone who’s addicted to crack an then stops for two years control himself perfectly no matter how much he’s exposed afterwards? You don’t get it Frank!”
He looks thoughtful for a minute, “I think I get it.”
“Really?” Judging by his face I seriously doubt that.
“You’re trying to spare my feelings. If you don’t like me you can just say so.”
Of all the stupid… “Didn’t I just say that’s not it?! God, you’re like a puppy that can’t learn not to poop on the floor. I am dangerous. My body is constantly screaming at me to eat you, and one day I won’t be able to tell it no. It’s better for both of us if I just leave…”
Why am I even trying at this point? I don’t really want to leave. I want to stay here and be his friend…Possibly his lover. I think that scares me. That’s why I’m fighting it so much. I’m scared of getting too close to someone after all this time of being alone. If he wants to be insane, why should I stop him? I shouldn’t. I should just leave him be. Do what I want for a change.
He grabs my arm, “Please don’t leave. I’ll stay out of your way, anything, just don’t leave.”
I sigh, “Fine. I mean, you don’t have to stay away from me…I kinda like having you close.”
He smiles wider them and hugs onto me tightly, “Thank you, Gee. You won’t regret this. I won’t let you.”
Let’s hope he’s right.
@MayMayChan
Oh its fine! Sorry it took 6 months for me to reply, this website is messing up for me so much.
4/1/17