I. Am. A. Loser. But What's New?
One shots are the best!
What Can I Say? I Live Casually Every day.
-Mirror Mayhem-
Frank’s P.O.V.
Have you ever had “One of those days”? You know, the one where you are like “Good lord, what in the fuck am I doing. Fuck my life.” And you can almost swear that God either made you to purely laugh at the failure of a human that you know you are, or your entire existence is a big face palm.
If you are having, or have previously had one of these horrific days, you know that it might as well be both, because you just want to melt into the floor and never have to look at anyone again. Yeah, unfortunately we have all found out that the world does not work that we and we are just royally embarrassed.
Then, there are people like me, whose entire existence is seriously comical- unless you are the one trapped inside of it- and then poor you because you might as well right “dorkiest person on earth on your forehead.
I think, if I am remembering correctly, the worst time was when Gerard walked in my room and figured out exactly what casual meant.
So there is the poor victim- me. I am just sitting in some sweats and no shirt and playing Call of Duty. Like always, because who needs a social life? Anyway, I had (and still do) a habit of being…too casual. Not in a sexual way, I really wasn’t a too sexual person. I was normal around that section. No, I was too casual with…hum…masturbating.
Yeah.
So I am sitting on a bean bag, as we have established, shirtless and in sweats. I wasn’t horny, sexually frustrated, or even really wanting to jack off, I just did. I was waiting for the rest of my team to die, and I was half bored, but not completely. So what do I do? Well you curious person you, I rubbed my dick through my pants, and I have no idea why. Seriously, I was just rubbing myself. Not even seriously interested in my dick, just doing subconsciously.
I was about semi hard when the hurricane of, “Fuck me my whole existence is a ridiculous comedy and a horrendous nightmare.” happened.
So I am sitting there (semi-hard) sub-consciously rubbing my dick through my sweats. My team had finally just died off when I hear a cautious “Err, Frank”?”
FML.
I cringe at my luck, curse my life, and set down the controller and turn around to look at Gerard, the poor guy.
“I-uh eyy- uhm. Hi Gerard” I pulled out of my ass because I am a worthless failure and fuucck.
“Why- uh why are you jacking off to Call of Duty?” Gerard asks, almost as if he is scared to figure that I have some weird fetish.
“Well, I. God” I sighed, “I’ll just tell you the truth. I am a really casual masturbator, and I was semi-bored waiting for the rest of my team to die off on Call of Duty so- I subconsciously rubbed myself through my sweats out of pure boredom.” I sputtered.
Oh GOD.
FML. Seriously!
“I well, uhm. Okay.” Gerard said, obviously regretting our conversation.
So now we have a nice house, I am a stay at home dad and we have 2.5 kids!
No, not really. This is just me, telling you about some embarrassing shit, hoping that maybe you won’t feel as bad as I did then. Maybe you might even relate to the face palm in which I call my life.
Us losers can do this, together.
-Mirror Mayhem-
Frank’s P.O.V.
Have you ever had “One of those days”? You know, the one where you are like “Good lord, what in the fuck am I doing. Fuck my life.” And you can almost swear that God either made you to purely laugh at the failure of a human that you know you are, or your entire existence is a big face palm.
If you are having, or have previously had one of these horrific days, you know that it might as well be both, because you just want to melt into the floor and never have to look at anyone again. Yeah, unfortunately we have all found out that the world does not work that we and we are just royally embarrassed.
Then, there are people like me, whose entire existence is seriously comical- unless you are the one trapped inside of it- and then poor you because you might as well right “dorkiest person on earth on your forehead.
I think, if I am remembering correctly, the worst time was when Gerard walked in my room and figured out exactly what casual meant.
So there is the poor victim- me. I am just sitting in some sweats and no shirt and playing Call of Duty. Like always, because who needs a social life? Anyway, I had (and still do) a habit of being…too casual. Not in a sexual way, I really wasn’t a too sexual person. I was normal around that section. No, I was too casual with…hum…masturbating.
Yeah.
So I am sitting on a bean bag, as we have established, shirtless and in sweats. I wasn’t horny, sexually frustrated, or even really wanting to jack off, I just did. I was waiting for the rest of my team to die, and I was half bored, but not completely. So what do I do? Well you curious person you, I rubbed my dick through my pants, and I have no idea why. Seriously, I was just rubbing myself. Not even seriously interested in my dick, just doing subconsciously.
I was about semi hard when the hurricane of, “Fuck me my whole existence is a ridiculous comedy and a horrendous nightmare.” happened.
So I am sitting there (semi-hard) sub-consciously rubbing my dick through my sweats. My team had finally just died off when I hear a cautious “Err, Frank”?”
FML.
I cringe at my luck, curse my life, and set down the controller and turn around to look at Gerard, the poor guy.
“I-uh eyy- uhm. Hi Gerard” I pulled out of my ass because I am a worthless failure and fuucck.
“Why- uh why are you jacking off to Call of Duty?” Gerard asks, almost as if he is scared to figure that I have some weird fetish.
“Well, I. God” I sighed, “I’ll just tell you the truth. I am a really casual masturbator, and I was semi-bored waiting for the rest of my team to die off on Call of Duty so- I subconsciously rubbed myself through my sweats out of pure boredom.” I sputtered.
Oh GOD.
FML. Seriously!
“I well, uhm. Okay.” Gerard said, obviously regretting our conversation.
So now we have a nice house, I am a stay at home dad and we have 2.5 kids!
No, not really. This is just me, telling you about some embarrassing shit, hoping that maybe you won’t feel as bad as I did then. Maybe you might even relate to the face palm in which I call my life.
Us losers can do this, together.
Unfortanately I can't because I am ending and starting a new story.
7/23/13