Brittany

I entered my bedroom to be met with the sound of faint choking and gagging sounds. Good, Frank was awake. I walked over to the bathroom door and without knocking pushed it open with the tip of my shoe to find Frank practically embracing the toilet. He was slumped next to it with his head bent over the porcelain bowl. His shoulders heaved and his entire body shook as he choked out air. I waited patiently for him to finish and when he finally did, he breathed in deeply.

“Frank.”

His head turned slowly in my direction. His eyes were red and his hair stood up in every possible direction. He looked even more a mess than he did the night before and for a split second I felt sorry for him. But then I remembered all the reasons I was mad at him and shook it off.

“I brought you some painkillers for your head.”

“Thanks,” he mumbled, closing the toilet lid and flushing away the contents before somehow, with great effort, hauling himself up and sitting down on it. He reached out gratefully and I handed him the Tylenols and glass of water I held in my hands. “Look, I know…”

“No, Frank. My taking care of you does not mean that I’m over what happened,” I cut him short.

He nodded slowly and then threw back the pills, swallowing them down with the water. He squeezed his eyes shut momentarily and sighed deeply.

“My life is a fucking mess,” he sighed once more, dropping his head forward and resting it against my stomach.

After a moment’s hesitation I brought my hand down on his head.

“I don’t think you’re doing too badly.”

“That feels good,” he murmured quietly. “Ugh,” he groaned loudly, pulling away from me. “I smell fucking disgusting.”

He got to his feet, causing me to step back.

“Do you mind if I take a shower?”

I shook my head, moving towards the door.

“I can’t believe you shared a bed with me. Wait, you did sleep in your own bed, right?” he said, sounding almost panicked.

“Of course. Where else would I sleep?” I asked confused.

He seemed to relax and nodded.

“Towels are over there,” I told him shortly, pointing to a little cupboard by the sink and then leaving. His miserable shape was softening me and that wasn’t right.

I found Gerard in the kitchen busy making coffee. He looked up when he noticed me entering. His hair was messy and his expression was still groggy leading me to believe that he just woke up.

“You slept late this morning.”

I chuckled, “No, I’ve been awake for a while. This isn’t my first time out of my room this morning. You’re the one who woke up late.”

“I slept really well,” he grinned sheepishly.

“I take it Mel is still in dreamland.”

“She’s in the shower.”

I nodded, accepting the cup of coffee he offered me.

“Did Frank stop by last night?”

I froze, the cup of coffee half way to my lips.

“Why would he? He knows I’m still mad at him,” I shrugged casually.

“That’s funny. I could’ve sworn I heard him at some point or another.”

“Me too,” I replied, using as much sarcasm as I could possibly muster.

My brother looked at me amused.

“Frank was right about you. You really are good.”

His statement confused me.

“See I know for a fact that Frank was here last night which means that you just lied to me without blinking. You didn’t even have to think about it. It was totally believable too.”

“You didn’t believe me.”

“Only because I knew better. Anyone else would’ve fallen for it.”

I shrugged, feeling awkward. My brother thought I was a liar which, to be fair, wasn’t far off.
“Mom and Dad?”

“Out.”

“Mikey?”

“Never came home last night. I’m assuming that Syd forgave him for whatever they fought about,” Gerard finished with a small smile. “How about you and Frank? Have you guys made up yet?”

I shook my head. “No… It’s complicated. I want to forgive him, but then again, I don’t. I don’t know if I can accept the fact that he loves Amy”

“I can’t tell you what to do, but Frank is with you and in my opinion that means something. It depends on you how much. I know that he wants to make your relationship work, though.”

“He said so himself,” I sighed.

“Then I would suggest you believe him, but it’s your choice,” my brother said, squeezing my shoulder as he headed back to his bedroom.

I guess it was time to talk to my ‘boyfriend’. I walked into my bedroom to find Frank halfway dressed with his wet hair clinging to his forehead. The image brought back memories of a time not too long ago when I surprised the guitarist in his shower. Wow, that was quite a shower. Frank took me by surprise as much that day as I did him.

“Hey,” the male greeted me, pulling his dirty shirt from the night before over his head.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts. Now was not the time to think of a hot, naked Frank in the shower. Dammit!

“You don’t have to wear that,” I said, pointing at his shirt. “I think I have another one of you hoodies hiding away in my closet.”

I started rummaging through my closet while he took off the shirt that still reeked of several alcoholic substances. There was no point in taking a shower if you’re going to put your old clothes back on anyway. I turned around and jumped, because he was standing right behind me.

“Sorry,” he giggled, accepting the hoodie from me and pulling it on.

“Frank, we need to talk.”

“No, we don’t. There’s really nothing to talk about,” he disagreed, getting his head stuck and needing me to help him.

“Yes, we do,” I insisted, pushing his wet hair out of his face without even thinking about it.

“Thanks,” he grinned broadly, looking too adorable for his own good.

“I know what you’re doing. It’s not going to work.”

“But I don’t want to talk,” he whined petulantly. “Because that means we’re going to fight and I’d rather go home and drink some much needed medicine,” he finished, coughing as if to emphasize his point.

“Frank Iero!” I exclaimed sternly. “You went out and got drunk while you’re on medication?”

“I’m not on anything. I wasn’t drinking medicine yet yesterday, because I wasn’t that sick, but of course now I’m going to die for letting it get a stronghold on me and then going out in the cold as well.”

“Well, then you deserve it,” I said without a trace of sympathy, crossing my arms in front of me.

Suddenly he changed his tactics by changing the topic.

“Thanks for taking care of me last night. I would’ve left my ass out in the cold.”

“I wanted to…”

“But you didn’t. Thanks,” he smiled, leaning forward and planting an unexpected kiss on my cheek.

My hands dropped to my side and I shook my head once more. “Quit avoiding the problem.”

“What problem?”

“The one about…”

His hand came up and covered my mouth.

“Are you going to give me the benefit of the doubt?” the small guitarist wanted to know.

My eyes grew wide and I shook my head.

“That’s too bad.”

He threw me down on the bed before I could even protest and straddled my hips, pinning my hands above my head.

“Since you’re already pissed off at me, I might as well drop this on you now then we can fight about it and move on instead of it coming back to bite me in the ass later like this whole love situation did.”

“Frank, get off of me,” I growled.

“Stay still, I have something to tell you.”

“What is it?” I asked exasperated.

He breathed in deeply, but stopped before elaborating.

“You have to promise to stay calm. Let me finish talking before you freak out, okay?”

“Frank, wha?”

“Promise,” he insisted.

“Fine!”

He relaxed for a very short moment and then I could feel him tense up again.

“I slept with Amy,” he blurted out in a rush of air.

It felt like someone punched me in the face. All the air left my body at this revelation and all the blood rushed to my head, pounding in my ears.

“You son of a bitch!” I screeched lividly, pulling roughly with my arms in an attempt to free my wrists, but he kept a firm grip on me. “Get off of me!” I growled, squirming beneath him.

“You promised to give me a chance to explain now calm down.”

I gaped at him in disbelief.

“Seriously? You tell me something like that and expect me to keep calm?”

“Yes! Let me finish. It’s not what you think.”

“Then pray tell.” I stopped struggling staring up at him with all the hostility in me which was a lot at this point.

“We weren’t together when it happened,” he started to explain.

“Frank, don’t fuck with me…” I started wriggling again.

“Brittany, hold the fuck still,” Frank growled, also losing his patience by now. “We were on a break or at least we were broken up. It was after that whole repeat of the Brittany and Tray episode…”

I bucked my hips trying to throw him off, but it didn’t work.

“Brittany, I swear if you don’t stay still…”

“What? You’ll run off to Amy and screw her?” I snapped.

“Stop it!” he hissed quietly through gritted teeth. “It happened once. I thought you and I were over.”

“That doesn’t make it right!”

“No, it doesn’t, but it happened and I can’t change it. Neither can you so you can either accept it and move on or tell me to leave right now and then we’re done for good.”

I breathed in sharply, because he was finally giving me an ultimatum. Frank was finally fed up with our constant arguing/brink-of-breaking-up-crap. The ball was in my corner and I had the final say. I didn’t want him to go, but I was so damn angry.

“Why do you love her? How could you betray me like that? I can’t believe you slept with her!” I spat out venomously.

Frank sighed in dismay, getting off of me.

“Thanks.”

“Wait!” I yelped, grabbing his shoulders. “I didn’t tell you to go. I just want to know.”

“What difference would it make, Brittany?”

Good point.

“Fine, then tell me why you don’t love me.”

I regretted the words as soon as they were out, especially when I saw Frank’s facial expression. His entire being was rigid and that worried me, because this was definitely something I did not want to know.

“Brittany, I…”

There was a loud blaring from my phone and I reluctantly let go of Frank in order to answer the small ringing object. I reached over to the bedside table, snatching it up and bringing it to my ear.

“Hello?”

“Good morning best friend! Are you feeling better today?”

“Exactly the opposite,” I murmured while Frank watched me warily.

“How is that possible?” Kasey wanted to know.

“I had a visitor last night.”

“Oh, I see. Frank was here yesterday morning as well.”

“Why?” I asked confused, because I couldn’t understand what he would be doing at Kasey’s house.

“Oh, you know, he just wanted to know what state of mind you were in and whether you would be willing to forgive him if he tried to explain, that sort of thing. He seemed pretty desperate if you ask me.”

“Hm.” I glanced at Frank from the corner of my eye and noticed that he was becoming restless, curious to know what Kasey and I were talking about, because he could probably guess that she was on the other end judging from our topic of conversation.

“The way I see it is that if you were willing to ignore the fact that he’s in love with Amy then he would be too,” she continued.

I clambered off the bed and locked myself in the bathroom. Frank didn’t need to hear the rest of this conversation.

“How do I do that?” I hissed. “How do I ignore the fact that he’s in love with her?”

“I understand why you’re upset and I get that what I’m saying is ridiculous, but Frank chose you, right? So the idiot hasn’t told you that he loves you yet, he’s still with you despite him loving her and I think that kind of says a lot.”

“That’s what Gerard said,” I nodded absentmindedly.

“Then listen to the advice of two wise people and at least listen to what he has to say.”

“Okay… Wait, I thought you didn’t want me and Frank to be together. Why are you telling me to give him another chance?” I demanded curiously.

“I’ve recently taken a liking to the little guy. There’s more to him than meets the eye.”

“Yeah, because there isn’t a lot to meet the eye,” I chuckled.

“But don’t take my advice. I don’t need you hating me when things between the two of you go south again,” she added.

“Yeah, yeah. You’ve already told me what to do. No taking it back now, but thanks. I appreciate it.”

“I know you do, pumpkin. I’ll talk to you later. Bye.”

I laughed at my crazy best friend, unlocking the door and walking back into my bedroom where Frank was putting on his shoes.

“I’m going to go,” he informed me, tucking on the last shoe and standing up.

“Why?”

“Because I’m too hung over to fight about this now. We’ll talk about it tomorrow or some other time.”

“We don’t have to fight about this.”

Frank’s eyes grew wide in surprise. This look disappeared when he started coughing and he clutched his head at the same time. Last night’s drinking was not treating him well.

“Come on, let’s get you some medicine,” I said, grabbing his hand and dragging him after me.

I opened the bedroom door at the same time as Melania opened my brother’s, but she instantly shut it as soon as she noticed us coming out of the room. Wow, were we that scary? I dragged him all the way to the kitchen where I dug out some coughing syrup.

“I’m glad to see you’re both still alive,” Gerard noted, entering the kitchen while I was giving Frank some medicine.

“Barely,” Frank coughed, nodding his appreciation and sitting down at the table.

I put away the medicine and turned back to face the pair who was sharing in some silent conversation. My brother’s gaze shot to me when he realized that I was watching them.

“You look like shit, man. How are you feeling?” Gerard wanted to know, walking around the table and pressing two fingers to Frank’s forehead. “At least you don’t have a fever.”

“Aren’t the two of you the most adorable couple.”

Frank and I looked confused at Mel who just came into the room.

“Not you, Gerard and Frank. Look at him checking to make sure that Frankie is alright. You guys really are inseparable,” she clarified.

“You think they’re bad now. You should’ve seen them in high school. They were attached at the hip.”

“So we take care of each other,” my brother shrugged. “Back in high school Frank took care of me every time I got wasted and I returned the favor by taking care of him when he was sick.”

“What about his mom?”

“You can never have too much tea or chicken soup when you’re sick,” I quoted my brother’s words from years ago. “That’s what Gerard always said when I asked him that exact question.”

“You two should just get married and get it over with,” Melania stated, looking at the two men.

“Hey, hey!” I interjected. “No pimping my boyfriend out to my brother who, incidentally, also happens to be your boyfriend.”

“Why not? I won’t mind sharing,” she winked playfully.

“There I have to draw the line,” Frank and I said simultaneously.

My brother also gaped at her in astonishment.

“Come on! Look at them! They’ll be totally hot together,” the older female insisted.

I pulled a face, not wanting to picture my brother with my boyfriend. That was disturbing. The other two actually looked amused by her statement which confused me even more. Clearly I was missing something.

“I guess, if you’re into that sort of thing,” I muttered, feeling slightly awkward.

Frank started laughing like a little maniac, loosely wrapping an arm around my waist in a hug.

“It’s okay. We understand if you don’t get it.”

“Yeah, it’s really better that way,” Gerard agreed, emptying his umpteenth cup of coffee for the morning. Melania walked around the table and grabbed a mug from the cupboard next to him and filled it with coffee, also filling his up again.

“I’m guessing everyone wants breakfast?” I asked no one in particular.

There was a unanimous agreement and I set about toasting pop tarts and pulling cereal from the cupboard. Frank still looked like death while he listened to Gerard and his girlfriend talking animatedly.

“Here you go,” I said, putting a cup of steaming hot coffee in front of him.

His head lifted from its resting place on his hand as he looked at me gratefully. “Thanks.”

“You should get some more sleep.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Have some breakfast then you can pass out for a couple of hours,” Gee suggested, taking a seat across from him.

“Anything I can help with?” Melania asked, pulling out cereal bowls and plates.

I shook my head, “I’m pretty much finished.”

The four of us had breakfast then Frank headed for the door.

“Thanks for all your trouble this morning. I feel better already.”

“You look better, but, Frank…”

“Don’t worry. I’ll be back later. We’ll talk about everything before the end of the day, I promise,” he assured me, turning around and leaving.

My jaw dropped open in disbelief.

“Okay, so you climb through my window in the middle of the night to apologize which, by the way, you didn’t do, because you were too trashed to form a coherent sentence and then you passed out in my bed only to have me take care of you in the morning and then you drop that huge bomb about sleeping with Amy before leaving like nothing ever happened even though this huge mountain is still looming over us. Unbelievable,” I grumbled, shaking my head and closing the front door. “Un-fucking-believable!”

“You kiss Mom with that mouth?” Gerard asked as he a Mel came from the kitchen.

“And Frank!” I snapped, storming off to my bedroom, slamming the door shut and falling down on the bed with a scowl on my face.

Frank was the one who screwed up. He was the one in love with another person. He’s the one who slept with Amy. He was also the one who came here to apologize and now he was gone again. Perfect. The little ass was not helping his own case. Damn it, I had quite a mind to kick his ass. What the hell was he thinking doing this to me? Was this revenge? No, Frank wouldn’t sink that low, but then why?

*

Frank’s adorable laughter filled my ears and his eyes glittered lively as he looked at me and his hands closed around my waist.

“Frank…”

He leaned down, placing his lips to my ear.

“I love you.” It was a quiet confession. Simple. Finally…

A happy smile split my face in two as I pulled back to look at him wearing an equally wide grin.

“I know, it took me long enough, didn’t it?”

“Too long,” I responded, sealing his lips with a deep, yet sweet kiss.

My eyes shot open and I stared at my boring white ceiling. I must’ve dozed off. That dream, though. I sat up to find Frank sitting on the end of my bed.

“Frank?”

“You look surprised to see me,” he noted with amusement. “I told you I’d be back.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Much better,” he smiled faintly. “Some proper rest and a home cooked meal did the trick.”

“What time is it?” I frowned, looking around for my phone to check the time.

“It’s a little after three. Have you been asleep this entire time?”

“Since you left.”

His eyebrows shot up.

“Should I ask how you’re feeling?”

Honestly, I was confused, but I wasn’t going to tell him that, because then he would want to know why. How was I going to explain to him that my subconscious seemed to desire a love confession from him? Did I want Frank to love me or was it simply a need born from the fact that he loved someone else? That still smarted.

I crawled over to the guitarist and hugged him, burying my face in his shoulder. His arms automatically wrapped around me, but I could sense his uncertainty.

“Brittany… What are we doing?”

I thought about his question for a second and made up my mind.

“We’re working through this… like adults.” I pulled away slightly and looked at him. “You don’t want to fight and neither do I. Besides, as you so rightly pointed out, fighting won’t change or solve anything. I’m not over what you told me. I’m still upset. But… you asked me to give you the benefit of the doubt and that’s what I’m going to do. If you’re willing to ignore your feelings for Amy then I am willing to try, though I’m not promising anything. It’s not going to be easy. At all. But I’ll try.”

Several emotions flitted across his face, the most obvious one being relief. It could be relief over the fact that I didn’t feel like fighting or because I wasn’t going to dump his sorry ass. Either way, I felt good about my decision. A little uncertain, but good nonetheless.

“That’s all I’m asking,” he quietly spoke. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me.”

I pulled away completely and leaned back against the pillows.

“We don’t know if this is going to work out yet.”

He nodded, moving until he was lying down next to me.

“I trust you.”

“Sure you do,” I chuckled. “But let’s say I do too.”

The guitarist kissed my cheek and settled back down into the pillows.

“Your bed is a lot more comfortable than my own.”

“It’s bigger.”

“That too.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know, but let’s just forget about that now. Sensitive topic and all. Maybe we can talk about it once I’ve had to time to get over it.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

Notes