Words Mean Nothing.

“I don’t know.” the exasperated cracked voice of Gerard Way struggled out again, through his tears. The police weren’t buying it. They’d found the booze, they’d found his drugs, his cigarettes were about the only thing legally his.

“How could you not know!? Frank Iero was on your floor. We have reason to believe this was attempted homicide.” Police office Garrett was pissed off. He knew these kids like he knew the back of his had, they were all the same. Cut ups, druggies, future well-fare recipients.

Mikey sat on the ground of the hospital across from Gerard. He was upset but tears weren’t falling from his eyes, not like Gerard’s. He couldn’t tell if it was from Frank being hurt, or the police officer screaming at him, but the tears wouldn’t stop.

“Hey! He said he didn’t know anything! He was taking a shower when it happened I can vouch for him! Frank was a messed up kid! He tried to kill himself many a time. Two that we saved him from.”

“Three.” Gerard piped up.

“Frankie was our friend. Gerard wouldn’t hurt him! I swear on it.” Gerard swallowed hard at Mikey’s words. But he had. He had tried to hurt Frank before. All the times in school in between class, he’d smash him into lockers, trip him in the hallway. How could Mikey be so sure he hadn’t tried to kill Frank? The two had barely any clue what had happened to Frank the night before other than massive blood-loss. Police and MD’s were being all but helpful to the two boys. Mikey and Gerard shared a glance of disappointment in themselves.

“I’m going to the bathroom.” Gerard announced raising off the floor to his feet and heading out down the hallway to the bathroom at the end of the hall. His footsteps echoed through the hospital, off the white tile walls and roof. He opened the door to the bathroom and locked it behind him. He slid down the door and did the only thing he could think of to do in a time like this.

Cry.

Gerard sobbed like he’d never sobbed before. Where had he gone wrong with his life? This wasn’t the person he wanted to be. He’d never-ever wanted to be the person facing jail time for drug possession, and under-age drinking. He’d never wanted to be the person to treat other people like fucking shit. This wasn’t him. How could he let himself stoop into someone so bad that they had to inflict pain onto others to make them self feel better? Where had he gone wrong?

It was when he began to dry sob that Gerard raised from the floor and wandered over the bathroom mirror. The person staring at him was not eighteen year old Gerard Way the sex of Belleville High, but a bruised and broken fourteen year with black greasy hair and chubby cheeks.

“You’re not a horrible person, Gerard.” the boy smiled. Gerard stared at his former self in awe and hatred.

“How would you know?” he spat at the kid. “You’re nothing! You’re just a fat, shit.” He slammed the mirror with his fist, glass sputtering everywhere. “You’re fucking nothing! You’re a hopeless fucking shit. Nobody fucking loves you, you fucking fuck!”

Gerard grabbed the glass on the counter and threw it about the room like a child having a tantrum. Finally tiring himself out he slid to the floor again. Tears had found themselves in his eyes again and he shuddered as waves of sobs hit his body like bullets.

He stared at the jagged piece of glass in his had, staring at his reflection in it. He was nothing. He was a douche bag, and he was going to go to jail. And Gerard knew what they did to guys like him in prison. As he fingered the glass, his eyes lit up with an idea.

He couldn’t go to jail if he were dead.

Notes