You'll Invest Yourself in Me
When I'm not with You, Think of Me Always
Six Years Prior
Frank can’t believe that he has to retake French 3. He should’ve paid attention last year and actually made it to a senior class. Instead, he’s in this class again. There are goddamn freshman in here, like that blonde girl in the front row. She’s about his height, which means she’s pretty short. She still has some baby fat and a high- pitched voice, free from vulgarity, unlike Frank’s.
Frank watches from his seat in the back row as the dreary-eyed students file in. Each new child looks even more fed up than the last. His eyes catch those of a tall, frail boy with tired, green orbs. He can’t help but believe those eyes are gorgeous even with the tortured look they possess. Something in those orbs make him want to take away all of his troubles. Frank’s eyes follow the movements of the boy as he makes his way to the back row. The boy drops his black bag next to his desk and all but throws himself into the chair. The boy runs his fingers through his short, black locks before resting his head on the desk, dazzling greens facing Frank.
Before Frank could stop staring like a freak and face the yellow-tinted chalkboard, the raven-haired boy gave him a slight smile, green orbs shining slightly, but not enough for a real smile. Frank smiles back nervously. He hopes he played that off nonchalantly.
“Bonjour! J'espère que vous avez passé un bon été.” The teacher chirps. “Je m’appelle Madame Smith.” Frank can’t help but giggle at how she said Smith with a bad French accent. “Alright, before we start class let’s get into our assigned seats.” She directs her stare towards Frank and smirks slightly, saying, ”That’s right, Frank, you can’t hide in the back row again this year.” The boy next to him giggles, then picks his bag up and waits for the seating chart to be shown to the class.
Throughout the day, Frank sees those green eyes 247. He counts both the times they’ve met in a gaze and when he’s just seen them wandering vacantly. He can’t get those tragic eyes out of his head. He wants to know what is causing the boy so much pain.
He’s found that he has gained quite an obsession with trying to figure out what’s wrong with him without even talking to the boy, whose name, he had found out, was Gerard. He kinda feels like a perv when he finds out that Gerard is one of those freshmen in his French class and he’s been drooling for him like he’s Freddie Mercury himself. A three year age difference doesn’t seem weird when you’re older, but when you’re seventeen and you’re crushing on a fourteen-year-old, you feel like a goddamn perv.
*
As the months pass by, Frank notices the decay in appearance and emotion in Gerard. The boy doesn’t give him any shy smiles or giggles when Frank gets on Madame Smith’s nerves. His eyes have lost all shine. The orbs are bloodshot and sometimes his pupils are blown to extreme sizes. His façade is monotone and lifeless.
There are rumors floating around, but most say he’s a druggie or an alcoholic. Frank hates how harsh most of them are. He wants to find out why Gerard has become so sad, but Gerard is reclusive and won’t let anyone talk to him. Frank watches his every move from the back row of his French class, hoping that Gerard will show a sign of recovery. That’s right Madame Smith got tired of Frank’s shit and sent him to the back. What broke Frank’s heart the most is that Gerard didn’t giggle nor even crack a small smile when she got all red-faced and pointed to the back corner, screaming, “Asseyez à l'arrière et fermez la bouche!” He just stared wide-eyed at the corner.
On the days Gerard doesn’t come to school, Frank prays to god, who he doesn’t even believe in, that Gerard will come back the next day perfectly fine. Well, Gerard’s perfectly fine now is him looking distraught and being silent. Frank takes what he can get.
*
Gerard’s been gone for two weeks. Frank doesn’t know what to do. At first, he thinks Gerard and his family just went for an extended spring break, but he knows no parent will let their child miss two weeks of school. He feels desolated when he doesn’t see those lackluster, green orbs. He yearns to see that pale boy. He wants to see the same boy he saw at the beginning of the year, the one who smiled and eye’s shined in the slightest bit. He knows he should’ve helped him before it got worse, but he didn’t know how.
He doesn’t hear about Gerard’s death through the fuzzy voice from the intercom in his school. He doesn’t get pulled aside and questioned about Gerard’s state of mind or his “extracurricular activities”, which we all know means if he did drugs or partied a lot. He doesn’t hear rumors about his disappearance. He doesn’t hear about Gerard at all. And it scares him.
He reluctantly decides to focus on school. He needs to get a scholarship(or twenty) if he ever wants to go to college. His mother can’t pay for him and he doesn’t even have a job. He should probably get one. Maybe a job could help him keep his mind off those broken eyes and pale face.
*
After four months, Frank overhears Gerard’s name in a conversation between some old ladies at the coffee shop he now works at. He ignores it at first because it could be a different Gerard, probably some old man. He listens quietly as he cleans the counters of any spilled coffee.
“It’s a shame. He was such a good person.” Yeah, Frank thinks, probably just some old dude who just died, not the beautiful boy who if he saw for just a moment, he would probably die of happiness.
“Now, he’s in an insane asylum, poor boy.” Frank’s eyes snap over to the wrinkled face of one of the ladies. He can’t help but note how much she looks like the stereotypical granny from fairytales. “He could’ve been an artist. Before he went away, he painted a whole mural in my granddaughter’s room. Oh, it was gorgeous.” She sighs wistfully.
When Frank gets off work, he searches all the institutions in his area. He searches until he finds the one with Gerard Way as a patient. He can’t believe that he actually is there. He finds those green orbs, but they show no recognition.
He already plans on majoring in Psychology in college. Now, he can make Gerard his personal project.
He wants to see those green eyes shine again. Who knew it would take almost seven years?
Frank can’t believe that he has to retake French 3. He should’ve paid attention last year and actually made it to a senior class. Instead, he’s in this class again. There are goddamn freshman in here, like that blonde girl in the front row. She’s about his height, which means she’s pretty short. She still has some baby fat and a high- pitched voice, free from vulgarity, unlike Frank’s.
Frank watches from his seat in the back row as the dreary-eyed students file in. Each new child looks even more fed up than the last. His eyes catch those of a tall, frail boy with tired, green orbs. He can’t help but believe those eyes are gorgeous even with the tortured look they possess. Something in those orbs make him want to take away all of his troubles. Frank’s eyes follow the movements of the boy as he makes his way to the back row. The boy drops his black bag next to his desk and all but throws himself into the chair. The boy runs his fingers through his short, black locks before resting his head on the desk, dazzling greens facing Frank.
Before Frank could stop staring like a freak and face the yellow-tinted chalkboard, the raven-haired boy gave him a slight smile, green orbs shining slightly, but not enough for a real smile. Frank smiles back nervously. He hopes he played that off nonchalantly.
“Bonjour! J'espère que vous avez passé un bon été.” The teacher chirps. “Je m’appelle Madame Smith.” Frank can’t help but giggle at how she said Smith with a bad French accent. “Alright, before we start class let’s get into our assigned seats.” She directs her stare towards Frank and smirks slightly, saying, ”That’s right, Frank, you can’t hide in the back row again this year.” The boy next to him giggles, then picks his bag up and waits for the seating chart to be shown to the class.
Throughout the day, Frank sees those green eyes 247. He counts both the times they’ve met in a gaze and when he’s just seen them wandering vacantly. He can’t get those tragic eyes out of his head. He wants to know what is causing the boy so much pain.
He’s found that he has gained quite an obsession with trying to figure out what’s wrong with him without even talking to the boy, whose name, he had found out, was Gerard. He kinda feels like a perv when he finds out that Gerard is one of those freshmen in his French class and he’s been drooling for him like he’s Freddie Mercury himself. A three year age difference doesn’t seem weird when you’re older, but when you’re seventeen and you’re crushing on a fourteen-year-old, you feel like a goddamn perv.
*
As the months pass by, Frank notices the decay in appearance and emotion in Gerard. The boy doesn’t give him any shy smiles or giggles when Frank gets on Madame Smith’s nerves. His eyes have lost all shine. The orbs are bloodshot and sometimes his pupils are blown to extreme sizes. His façade is monotone and lifeless.
There are rumors floating around, but most say he’s a druggie or an alcoholic. Frank hates how harsh most of them are. He wants to find out why Gerard has become so sad, but Gerard is reclusive and won’t let anyone talk to him. Frank watches his every move from the back row of his French class, hoping that Gerard will show a sign of recovery. That’s right Madame Smith got tired of Frank’s shit and sent him to the back. What broke Frank’s heart the most is that Gerard didn’t giggle nor even crack a small smile when she got all red-faced and pointed to the back corner, screaming, “Asseyez à l'arrière et fermez la bouche!” He just stared wide-eyed at the corner.
On the days Gerard doesn’t come to school, Frank prays to god, who he doesn’t even believe in, that Gerard will come back the next day perfectly fine. Well, Gerard’s perfectly fine now is him looking distraught and being silent. Frank takes what he can get.
*
Gerard’s been gone for two weeks. Frank doesn’t know what to do. At first, he thinks Gerard and his family just went for an extended spring break, but he knows no parent will let their child miss two weeks of school. He feels desolated when he doesn’t see those lackluster, green orbs. He yearns to see that pale boy. He wants to see the same boy he saw at the beginning of the year, the one who smiled and eye’s shined in the slightest bit. He knows he should’ve helped him before it got worse, but he didn’t know how.
He doesn’t hear about Gerard’s death through the fuzzy voice from the intercom in his school. He doesn’t get pulled aside and questioned about Gerard’s state of mind or his “extracurricular activities”, which we all know means if he did drugs or partied a lot. He doesn’t hear rumors about his disappearance. He doesn’t hear about Gerard at all. And it scares him.
He reluctantly decides to focus on school. He needs to get a scholarship(or twenty) if he ever wants to go to college. His mother can’t pay for him and he doesn’t even have a job. He should probably get one. Maybe a job could help him keep his mind off those broken eyes and pale face.
*
After four months, Frank overhears Gerard’s name in a conversation between some old ladies at the coffee shop he now works at. He ignores it at first because it could be a different Gerard, probably some old man. He listens quietly as he cleans the counters of any spilled coffee.
“It’s a shame. He was such a good person.” Yeah, Frank thinks, probably just some old dude who just died, not the beautiful boy who if he saw for just a moment, he would probably die of happiness.
“Now, he’s in an insane asylum, poor boy.” Frank’s eyes snap over to the wrinkled face of one of the ladies. He can’t help but note how much she looks like the stereotypical granny from fairytales. “He could’ve been an artist. Before he went away, he painted a whole mural in my granddaughter’s room. Oh, it was gorgeous.” She sighs wistfully.
When Frank gets off work, he searches all the institutions in his area. He searches until he finds the one with Gerard Way as a patient. He can’t believe that he actually is there. He finds those green orbs, but they show no recognition.
He already plans on majoring in Psychology in college. Now, he can make Gerard his personal project.
He wants to see those green eyes shine again. Who knew it would take almost seven years?
Notes
I don't know why I did this, but it's short so it shouldn't harm you in any way. I'll probably add a chapter sometime this week, maybe tomorrow(it already is tomorrow because it's 4 in the morning (i should probably sleep))Hope you liked it! I love you guys!
You all have beautiful minds.
-Alex:)
P.S. I don't like calling Gerard a project, but until I find a better word, he's staying a project.
P.P.S. That may or may not be you in the beginning, Katy. ;)
\(O.O)/
2/9/15