I always hated that beeping, whether I was waking up to it or it was telling me that I was still alive. This isn’t the first time I’ve woken up to those incessant shrills. It always caused a ringing in my ears, it still does. I peel my heavy lids open, only resulting in the burning of brightness.

Shit. Couldn’t they have made this place a different color?

Sterile white isn’t that comforting. I would rather have a calming, minty green. I had a bike that color when I was a kid. Kids used to call me gay for having a girls’ bike. I have loved that color ever since. It was only foreshadowing the future and I love foreshadowing. It only seems right that I would then love that color.

I lift my hands to rub the sting from my eyes. I retry opening my eyes to be greeted with the pure white room of a hospital. I examine my body for the damage done by Ray. My left hand only has an oversized band-aid covering the palm, but my right hand is fully wrapped around, rust-stained gauze constricting the movement of my knuckles and palm. A few band-aids cover my fingers in random places. I stare at my right hand, bewildered. Ray didn’t do anything to my knuckles.

I was so enraptured by my hands that I didn’t hear the soft clicks of the door opening and closing. The only thing alarming of another’s presence is Dr. Iero’s relieved sigh and then distressed cries. “Fuck, Gerard, you scared the shit out of me.” He walks slowly –cautiously- over to me. He slightly sits on the edge of my bed and faces me with his hazel eyes. The green in his hazel irises is enhanced by the dark puffiness that encloses them. The orbs are blood-shot and moist. “Don’t ever do this to yourself again!” His exclamation startles me and I flinch away from him, only because that answers my question about my knuckles.

“I did this to myself?” I ask quietly, I know if I use my full voice it will come out scratchy. My throat burns from a thirst that hasn’t been quenched in hours. I briefly wonder about how long I’ve been out.

“Who do you think did this to you?” He asks, breaking out his shrink techniques. I can’t at him anymore. When I think we’re finally having a normal conversation, he has to break out his stupid mind probing questions.

“Don’t do this to me!” He grabs my right hand with one of his lightly, as to not irritate my slices. The other goes to my cheek to nudge it back to face his.

“Do what?” His sweet, shaky breaths hit my face, momentarily distracting me, and his eyes desperately searching my murky greens.

“You always analyze my fucking head.” My eyes travel down his face, lingering on his plump, pouty(I need to stop with all this alliteration) lips, then to the ratty rag of a blanket. (can’t stop, addicted to the shindig)

“I’m so sorry. I just want to know why you did it.” He murmurs. I didn’t do it on purpose, does he not get that by now? “I missed you.” He declares, quietly annunciating every word. I regard him with disbelieving eyes.

“Why?” I whisper. He lifts the hand that’s in his. He gently kisses my bandaged knuckles. Then, trailing along soft kisses, he turns my hand over. He kisses my cut fingers, one by one, then my sliced palm. The whole time, he looks up at me with innocently wide eyes.

He raises his mouth off my hand and states, “I care about you so much.”

“Why?” I ask desperately, my voice watery and broken. He looks at me, his hands slowly crawling up my arm. When they cup my pallid cheeks, he strokes my prominent cheekbones with the tips of his thumbs, gazing into my eyes. Before I know what’s happening, he pulls me closer and crushes his soft lips to my chapped ones, causing pain to shoot through my abdomen. I can’t hold back the groan of pain. Fuck you, Ray. You ruined a perfect moment that I have been waiting for ever since he walked into the institution. He quickly jumps back, carrying himself off the bed and to the corner.

“I’m so sorry!” Frank cries, fingers caressing his freshly Gerard-kissed lips, trying to fight the small smile forming on those lips.

“Nuh-no.” I croak out, causing him to look at me, confusion written all over his face. How do I tell him I wanted it? Oh, screw it. “I wanted it.”

His smile grows with each step he takes back towards me. He nimbly sits back down on my bed, a little closer than before. He leans over me fully with each hand on either side of my head, right above my shoulders. We stare at each other with matching looks of adoration, his containing a little pity. I let my left hand(it’s less painful) creep up his arm and land on the back of his neck, causing the beeping of the heart monitor to speed up. I swiftly pull his face to mine, crashing our lips together. I let it get as hot and passionate as I can take with all the slices that litter my aching body. He seems to realize that I’m still fragile and slows it down to a gentle, innocent kiss. We stay holding each other and moving our lips together slowly for more than a few minutes before he pulls away, still remaining close, his forehead resting against mine.

“Fuck, I’ve waited for that since twelfth grade.” Frank confesses. A genuine giggle erupts from deep in my ribs. (I hope you didn’t forget that Frank went to school with Gerard ‘cause Frank’s last statement would just be awkward.)

“Worth the wait?” I ask, no matter what his answer is, this huge grin could not go away. It might falter, but it won’t go away completely.

“Fuck yeah.” He breathes out and pecks my lips again… and again.

*

After curling himself against my broken body, he explained that we would have to keep the PDA to a minimum. He’s the one that’s cuddled up to me! I mean, anyone can walk in. I couldn’t care less because his warmth is so inviting and relaxes my tense body.

There’s a knock on the door, causing Frank to scurry off the bed and land into the chair placed right next to my bed. The force of his body slamming against the chair causes it to tip back a little and he lets out a squeak before calming down. “Come in.” He commands tiredly, putting on a bored expression. A nurse barges through the door, bustling to my bedside to check my vital signs.

“How are ya feeling, sweetie?” She asks, smoothing out the wrinkles of my blanket caused by Dr. Iero’s body’s entanglement with mine, but she doesn’t need to know that.

“Great.” I say breathily with a grin, although the pain is almost intolerable. I got kissed! I couldn’t feel better at this moment. In my days out of the institution, I had only kissed somebody maybe five times(girls used to think I was weird), but I know that all the kisses in the world couldn’t beat Frank’s. The wet slide of Frank’s soft pout against my chapped lips was enough to make me forget a fucking stab wound in my abdomen. I think his kisses are pretty fucking talented.

“Really?” The nurse looks at me skeptically, red-painted lips pursed to the side. Frank stifles a giggle behind her.

“I’m not in too much pain, although I do wish these beds were bigger.” I stare at Frank, smirking deviously.

“I’m glad to hear you feel better, and I’m sorry about the crammed bed.” The nurse dramatizes a pout. “But, you won’t have to deal with it much longer ‘cause you get to go home today.” She sends me a smile. I wonder if she knows that I live in an institution. After checking my bandages and stomach, she leaves the room, closing the door quietly behind her.

(awkward moment when Napoleon Dynamite is a better dancer than you.)

“What happened?” I ask, stroking the gauze with my finger pads.

“I don’t really know.” He mumbles.

“Ray was just so mean.” I state miserably. He gazes at me, eyes glistening with pity.

“Gerard, you did this to yourself.” Before I can shake my head, he explains further. “Your mind played a trick on you. You” He lifts up my right hand and kisses each knuckle. “punched that mirror. You” He lowers himself to ghost his lips over my exposed bandage on my belly. “stabbed yourself.” If he goes any lower, I’m gonna have another problem. “And you saved yourself by pulling the shard out. I’m so glad you did.” I am too.

“Why would I do this to myself?” I ask as he makes his way back to my lips, leaving his hands in my lap. He brushes his lips against mine before answering.

“Your mind may be beautiful, but it is also dangerous.” Frank mumbles against my lips and squeezes my thigh, distracting me from his words. I pull my face away from his, pushing my head deeper into the overly fluffy pillow.

“Weren’t you supposed to save me from it?” I stare into his broken eyes; they have regained half of their usual twinkle.

“I was,” He admits dreadfully, his eyes losing the little twinkle. “and I’m so sorry I wasn’t there. I understand if you’re mad at me.”

“Where were you?” I demand miserably. “You said you’d be there all the time.”

“I had a meeting. I never thought this would happen.” He replies. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” I state. I could never be mad at him. How was he supposed to know that when he’s around, Ray isn’t? “I just need you.” He scoots on to the bed and lifts his hand to my face, pinching my chin in between his thumb and index finger.

“You don’t need me. You could do anything in the world with that beautiful mind of yours.” The corner of his mouth pulls at one corner, forming a smirk. “You want me.”

Ignoring his innuendo, I state, “I do need you.” I inhale a deep breath, the cool, sterile air filling my lungs. “I need you so bad. Your presence keeps him away. Your aura keeps him away. Your everything keeps him away.”

“Your mind is making you believe that. You don’t need me.” I need him so bad, why does he keep on rejecting me? He probably doesn’t want me to need him. It’ll just make me a bigger burden.

“Do you not want me to need you?” I mumble quietly. He presses his lips to mine lightly.

“I don’t want you to think you need me. You can do whatever you want without my help.” He proclaims. “But, I will always be there for you.”

“Will you still save me?”

“You can save yourself with a little bit of my help.” He gives me a little reassuring smile. It’s just too contagious. I send him a small smile.

He says a quiet “Let’s get you back to the institution.” With a small peck on the lips, he helps me get up and guides me to the bathroom to get dressed.

Notes

And this is the explanation of how the previous chapter was possible. (and they kiss! WOOOOOOO!)

I'm sorry for all the author's notes. I get a little loopy with a lack of sleep. Let me just tell you this, insomnia sucks balls.

If you don't listen to Radiohead, you are missing out! It's the music of the gods, like little angels rolled into one band. Speaking of god, have you ever had those Snackwell's devil's food cake cookies? Now those fuckers were made by god himself, which is ironic because they are the devil's.

You all have beautiful minds.
-Alex:)
P.S. I have 69 subscribers. ;) hmm is that a little foreshadowing I see?