I’m really proud of myself. He also didn’t reject me once that statement was out, so that improved my confidence and pride. He kind of just stared at me for a little while with those glistening, hazel eyes. The green flecks and spindles in them stick out when he’s either really happy or moved. I don’t know what they look like when he’s mad. I don’t really want to.

I wander out of his office, leaving my sketchbook with him. He hasn’t gotten past all the pages I have of him. There’s a lot. It’s been a couple hours because he likes to gaze with his gorgeous eyes at each page for a while. He told me to come back to his office with dinner. Usually, we aren’t permitted to eat outside the cafeteria, but he gave me special permission. I scuttle along to the café line and gather all the food I can. I have a feeling I’ll be spending the whole night with him, in a complete ‘trying to get a feel for my mind, not body’ way. Although, I wish he wanted my body too and not just my mind.

“What are you talking about, Gerard?!” Ray yells. He starts shaking his head, curls swaying with his head’s movement. “Such a whore.” He mumbles.

I hurry up my gathering of all the junk food they have, which is not a lot, since it’s still a type of hospital. I pass Lucy on the way out and ask for my daily pills. I forgot to take them at lunch today. She hands me the little Dixie cup with the cartoon fish pattern on it, such a childish design for such a complicated thing they hold. Those pills are horrid and scary.

I swallow the pills, but it feels like cement sliding slowly down my throat. Lucy gives me a smile, pleased that I’m trying again. I force a smile, which isn’t so faked because the thought of having an all-nighter with Dr. Iero is still occupying my mind.

I crumple the little cup and throw it in to the nearest trash can. It wasn’t close and my lack of hand-eye coordination causes it to land five feet in front of it. I groan and wiggle around a little in annoyance. This is taking up Frankie time and Ray is still walking around me in circles, taunting me. With a scrunched up face, I scurry over to the crumpled ball and pick it up. I gently put it into the can. Mind you, I still have an arm full of food.

Ray knocks it out. “You have got to be kidding me.” I whisper harshly at him, but it could be taken as me talking to myself. I decide to just leave it on the ground. I need to get back to Dr. Iero. I resume my anxious march down the office hallway.

I get back into his office and spread all the food I got all over his desk. I look at him and smile. He grins at me. “Thank you!” He chuckles. “Shut the door.” He gives me a look that I can’t decipher. I shuffle over with heavy feet and close the door gently. He gathers the food and hands me my sketchbook. Frank leads us into a room that always thought was a closet, but turns out it’s like a small bedroom.

“You live here?” I ask, inspecting every inch of the room. For being here for such a small amount of time, his room is full of stuff that tells me about him and his life. I eye my file up. It’s scattered around on his bedside table.

“Yup,” He confirms, emphasizing the p. “I’m here all day, every day.” I smile at the thought of that. He walks over to a small, dark wood table and lays the food out again. He sits down and I present my sketchbook out in front of him. I spend the evening with him, biting my nails nervously, watching him, and wandering around his room.

*

I’m extremely tired from the all-nighter. It was a stupid idea, but I loved it anyway. My fatigue could also be from the boredom caused by the activity hour. I’m sitting on the couch that faces the outdated TV. Katy sits on one of the raggedy armchairs. The only thing they ever play is old reruns of Friends. I used to laugh hysterically at it. I would laugh for a good five minutes at just one joke. Now, it just causes old memories of my old life.

“Goddammit, Gerard! Answer me.” Finn snaps me out of my reverie. Her and Lindsey have left Jack after he didn't have any messages for them. He had a message for Bob though. Bob and his first mate, Rachael, apparently will be "at the mercies of the seas again!" soon.

I look at her glowing green eyes. They always seem to brighten, instead of darken, when she gets angry. Her face is scrunched up causing the scar that runs from her right eye to the corner of her mouth to crumple forward and stick out. I stare blankly at her. “I hear your brother’s coming in today. What for?” She asks, breaking out of her anger. I continue to stare at her. What does she mean by what for? Obviously, he wants to see me.

Katy looks at me curiously and I just shrug. That sentence kind of explains that I have a brother.

“He hasn’t come here in a while.” Lindsey adds dreamily. It has been months. I wonder if he’s met Dr. Iero yet. I forgot to tell you that Lindsey has had a crush on Mikey for years, which is kind of creepy because she’s six years older than him. I’ve told her time and time again that, despite what his sharp features and defined jawline says, he’s only seventeen and he has a girlfriend.

“He wants to see me.” I say simply. I don’t need to explain my brother’s motives to them. He probably just wants to update me on family affairs. It seems that he only visits me now to make him feel like a better brother and person.

Lindsey picks up a black pigtail from off her shoulder and starts twirling in between her dainty fingers. “Or me,” She giggles and bounces up and down on the couch beside me, causing the couch to squeak. Finn hits her lightly a couple times. “Finnley, stop that!” Lindsey whines.

“Alright, alright.” Finn backs off with her hands up. I can’t help but giggle at the whole encounter.

(Strawberry poptarts are gross. Just for future reference)

“Gerard, Your brother’s here to see you.” Billy states. He leads me into a little room that kind of looks like an interrogation room, but with an obvious window. The room has an old beat up sofa and a matching armchair. There’s a little fuzzy TV in the corner.

Mikey is sitting in the armchair, so I take a seat on the sofa. He doesn’t make a move to hug me. It sends a pain through my chest when he doesn’t even give me a full grin. He isn’t happy to see me anymore. He feels obligated to visit me.

“Hello, Gerard.” Mikey says tiredly. “How’s it going?”

“Great, considering I’m in an asylum.” My harsh words snap him out of his dreary mood.

“I’m sorry, Gerard.” He fakes a smile and gets up to hug me. The hug is half-assed and lacking in genuine love. I take the hug because I haven’t been hugged since the last time he visited. He sits back down. “Any news for me?” He puts on enthusiastic façade.

I contemplate on if I should tell him about Dr. Iero. I need someone to gush about Frank to. “Yeah,” I breathe out with a goofy smile planted on my face. At least I can get enthusiastic. “I have a new doctor, Dr. Iero.” I say his name so dreamily that Mikey knows something’s up.

“Yeah?” Mikey asks skeptically. “What’s he like?”

“I think he’ll be the one to save me. He has invested his entire college career and now career on figuring my beautiful mind out. He actually cares about me.” I gush.

“Gerard, he’s only doing this for the reputation and satisfaction.” He has the tiredness back in his voice.

“No. He actually cares. I’m his only patient. He wants only me to get better.”

“Your crazy fucking mind is making that up! He’s only here to listen to your fucking problems and diagnose you with some kind of illness.” Mikey yells, standing up and stomping around the tiny room. “He doesn’t really care for you.” He states quietly, not meeting my hurt gaze.

“But he does.” I murmur to the ground.

“He’s lying to you to make you cooperate with him.” I hate him. Not Dr. Iero, never Dr. Iero. Mikey is lying to me. Why is he trying to trap me in here? Do they really not want me back in their family?

I look away, set on never talking to Mikey again. He sighs, that annoying fucking sigh. “I’m really sorry. It’s just that Mom and Dad are driving me mad about how I’m a terrible son to them for visiting you. I was trying to make you hate me, so it would be easier to leave you behind, but it’ll always be too hard.”

I look at him, his face so tired and broken. I probably look the same way. “Why does visiting your brother make you terrible?”

“It reminds them that you exist.” My heart breaks at that sentence. I try so hard to keep the tears back. They pour out mercilessly, covering my cheeks in the warm, salty water. I try to hide the sobs, but my body just ends up shaking and shuddering with each. The room starts closing in on me, constricting with each sob.

I don’t know which hurts worse, that my parents actually hate who I am or the thought that Frank might not care for me was planted in my head. I knew that they didn’t want me crazy, but now they don’t even want me at all.

“I’m so sorry!” Mikey cries, folding down on his knees. I stand up shakily and head towards the door. Mikey grabs my hand. “It’s not my fault, please don’t hate me.” He begs, sniffling and wiping small tears away.

“I-I need to get out of here.” I shake his hand off and slouch towards the door. “I… umm love you. I guess.” With that, I leave. I can’t stay in the room anymore. He was the last part of my family and my parents are taking him away from me too.

I go to Dr. Iero’s office and snatch my sketchbook off his desk. He looks at me curiously, but stays quiet. His big hazel orbs get wider, taking in my tear stained face, as I walk away. Mikey’s words replay through my mind.

I head back to the activities room and sit there with my book clutched to my chest. I stare at my feet, tears making a reappearance. My feet have these gross slippers on them. They’re thin and uncomfortable.

After a few minutes, the couch sags next to me. “What happened?” I look up at her face. Her green eyes are full of sadness and pity. Her short, black hair that just reaches her exposed shoulders falls in her ghostly pale face slightly.

I look around to make sure no one’s around. “Everyone hates me and my beautiful fucking mind.” I whisper. I don’t want to take the chance of anybody else hearing me. She’s obviously not real. I’m squished into a warm embrace of tattered, black tulle and scratched, red satin. She shushes me and runs her bony, colorless fingers through my stringy, black locks.

“You know that’s not true.” Rachelle whispers into my hair as she kisses my head. She’s like the mother I never had, though she looks younger than me. “Mikey still loves you, but your parents aren’t giving him a choice.” Her scarred arms hug me closer as she starts to rock us back and forth. She hums a tune, one I’ve never heard before. It’s beautiful.

“I wasn’t talking about him.” I say quietly, sniffling. Her rocking falters a little and her humming stops.

“Who?”

“Frank doesn’t care!” I whine quietly. As quickly as she came, she leaves, black and red dress flowing after her.

From the doorway, I hear a quiet, broken “I do care.” The wide and shimmering hazel eyes meet mine.

Notes

Introducing another hallucination, Rachelle Quinn. She's the opposite of Ray, basically.

So... um.... as you can tell Gerard and his parents aren't on good terms.

If I haven't responded to your comment, I'm sorry and I appreciate all the love I'm getting for this story!
-Alex:)