I sit in the activities room on an uncomfortable, old, springy chair, watching the fuzzy picture on the TV. They really don't understand that staring at this TV is more painful than the boring silence of my room. The patients are forced to stay in the activities room for at least one hour. They want us to learn how to "interact" with others. I don't want to interact with these crazies. Truth be told, I don't even understand why I'm here. I'm not crazy. I have it under control.

The orderlies are buzzing with gossip about a new, outstanding doctor. The rumors about this doctor possess more praise and admiration than usual. We've had about a thousand new doctors. My doctor's changed about the same amount. I don't think we need another doctor.

Maybe he'll actually accomplish something.
Nah, probably not.

I've seen many new patients come in, but no one ever leaves or is deemed fit to live outside these walls. I've have been here since I was 15, that's five years now. The last memory I have of my normal life is my panic attack and even that is kinda fuzzy. Is that why I'm in here? Because I had a panic attack? I can't even remember that panic attack that well. It was probably nothing to worry about. God, these people are idiots.

How much longer? As I twist my neck to look at the clock, -which is placed strategically over the doorway- Dr. Hollis makes her way through the passage way followed by someone. Either her hugeness or the person's height (or lack of) causes my inability to see the newcomer. The only thing alerting me of their presence is there insecure shuffling of their feet. One foot always leads, rather reluctantly. It has to be a man. Any woman who makes a presence here -except the patients, if you can even call them that, I like to call us prisoners- wears heels. I don't really know why. Something about professionalism. I do know that the rhythmic click-clack of Dr. Hollis' heels can harm the minds of some of the patients. Sometimes, it gets to me.

Back to the point, Gerard.

If this newbie is supposed to be so great, why is he so unsure of himself? I can hear is shaky breaths as he comes closer. I have gathered that Dr. Hollis is giving him a tour of the facility.

"God, Gerard, how'd you get so smart?"

Ignoring that comment, I watch as they pass behind the couch a couple feet away. Goddammit, I only caught the back of him when he passes. I see that he has chocolate brown hair that curls slightly at the ends.

“Gerard, stop staring at his ass!"

"I'm not.” I mumble out into the room. Shit, that was more than a mumble. Dr. Hollis and newbie turn around. Shit, shit, shit. I offer a sheepish smile as I look up at Dr. Hollis. My gaze wanders over to newbie. I make a noise, it may be something between a squeal and gasp. Either way, it was embarrassing. Not that I care, these people have no right to judge me. It is all brought on by the beauty and innocence newbie face portrays. Chocolate locks frame his slightly pudgy face, one curling near his eye, making his beautiful brown eyes emphasized. He has an adorable button nose, accented with a nose ring. His lips are perfectly pink and have an almost perfect heart shape to them.

"Gerard, stop drooling and look away already."

I take his advice, turning my head towards the TV again. I hope they continue the tour. My hopes are rewarded with the click-clack of Dr. Hollis' heels and newbie's adorable nervous shuffle. Of course, I was too caught up in his gorgeousity to look at his fucking name tag.

"You idiot! You should have offed yourself when you had the chance."

Ignore him, he's not real. But if he's not real and it’s all in my head, then why is he so mean? If I reply they have more reason to keep me in here.

"Of course, I'm real. Look at me."

"Time's up. You may leave the activities room, if you would like." Joe, one of the orderlies included in the gossip circle, says. With a sigh of relief, I push myself out of the uncomfortable (but most comfortable in this place) chair and almost speed-walk to my room. I feel a presence behind me, but I choose to ignore it.

"You can't ignore me forever."

I arrive at my room and open the heavy door. I slip into my room, letting the door fall shut and supply the silent room with a heavy bang. Thank god, he didn't get in. I look down at my feet as they carry me to my bed, making sure only one foot goes to each tile. This action reminds me of when I was a kid and I was still oblivious to the world. I remember entertaining myself by doing the same action during the family trips to the mall, when there lacked an excitement of getting a new toy at the next store.

I'm knocked out of reminiscing with myself by a soft knock at my door. Knock seems like a quite adequate name for that action because you are pushed away from your previous actions to pay attention to the subject that knocked.

"Suddenly, there came a tapping." I quote softly under my breath.

"Gerard, are you in there?" Dr. Hollis asks. Pause for dramatic effect. She forgot I don't answer stupid questions. Of course I’m in here, where else would I be? She adds. "Gerard, I'd like you to meet someone."

I slowly walk to the door. I must build up the dramatic tension she so dutifully made. I hope it's newbie she wants me to meet. I have my hand on the doorknob now, contemplating. Eh, I'll humor her. I open the door and met with the sight of Dr. Hollis and the slight view of newbie's chocolate tufts. I stand with the door right behind me and my hand on the knob. "Are you going to let me in? I would hope you want to show your manners to a newcomer."

Good. Now, she never leaves off with a question. She remembers I don't answer stupid questions. They have never asked an intelligent question. I step out of the way and hold my arm out. "Après vous."

She steps in and newbie follows then I follow him. I notice a little bounce to his step. Alright, Gerard, don't stare at his ass in those tight dress pants. Goddammit, he's wearing a fucking waistcoat that hugs his torso perfectly. Is this man trying to kill me with attractiveness?

She sniffs. "I see you've been working on your French." Dr. Hollis comments while looking around my room. Very observant. I wish I was that observant. We make eye contact. I switch my gaze to newbie, hoping she gets her cue to introduce newbie. "Anyway," Thank fucking god, I thought I was gonna have to wait forever. "This..." another pause for effect as she places her hand on newbie's back. C'mon, get on with it. "Is Dr. Iero. He will be your new doctor." She sighs. "I was rather reluctant-" like Dr. Iero's steps "to give up your file up but I have too many patients and needed help." Why was she more reluctant to give up my case than all the others? I'm not that interesting. Actually, I don't think I'm interesting at all.

"She was reluctant because you're a real nut and she finds your mind fun to poke at."

Goddamnit, he's back. I sigh and look at the door. I left it like an open house for anybody to walk in. I look back at Dr. Iero. His shoulders are slumped forward and he looks hurt. Like somebody kicked his puppy off a bridge. Oh! He took that sigh as a sigh of disappointment and that I want him to leave. DON'T LEAVE! I frown at the thought of him leaving. Wait, no, he has to think I'm excited for a new doctor. I smile, no, I grin. I find myself wanting to make him happy. "I wouldn't mind a new doctor." He looks up and smiles once he notices my grin. Yeah, I know, I'm considerate.

"Getting cocky now, are we?"

My grin falters a little as I see movement and someone -or something shuffle onto my bed.
"And I wouldn't mind treating you." He says with this breathy and relaxed voice. Shit, his voice is like a thousand angels singing. I find myself wanting to reply 'treating me with what?' Then I realize we aren't in a bad porno with cheesy lines and he won't reply 'dis dick'. I offer him a smile in return, slightly blushing from my thoughts. We just stare at each other, calculating each other. I notice his eyes have flecks of green and gold.

"Gerard, lunch will be served in five minutes. I expect you to eat today." Dr. Hollis says sternly. Dude, way to ruin a moment. Well, for me, it was a moment. I don't know what he thinks it was.
I nod. "I'll be out in a couple minutes" I assure her.

"I better see you out there." She warns. She turns to Dr. Iero. "Shall we continue your tour?" She touches his arm and flutters her eyelashes a little. Ooooh. Someone's got a crush!

"Someone getting a little jealous, fag?"

Ignoreignoreignore.

Dr. Iero makes a disgusted face, which seems to go unnoticed by Dr. Hollis. "Sure." He offers. She moves her hand to his lower back and guides him out of my room. He looks back at me with this pleading look in his beautiful eyes.

Was I supposed to see that?

Notes

If they're insulting and in italics, it's Gerard's hallucinations.
I put a little Anchorman reference in there. :) I hope no one kicks your puppy of a bridge.
Comments, please?
Don't worry, it gets better!