TickTock12639

I keep changing my display name from XanaxZombie to TickTock12639. I think I'm going to leave it as the latter though. I've only been diagnosed with "anxiety state unspecified" (whatever that means) and I don't take Xanax so the first name is unrealistic. I love it and I think it's quite beautiful, but it isn't me. The second (and current) display name relates to my odd obsession with time, and how so far I've managed to waste every second. The numbers, are of course, the divisions on a clock and I like to imagine my online persona tapping the numbers on her chest; ironically making the cross as though she were a catholic, god-fearing individual. In actuality, I wish I was someone else. Anyone really. I don't like excepting that this is all I will ever be. I want magic to be real, I want heaven or fuck even hell to be real. Just to shake up this boring, pathetic existence I'm living. Who am I? What am I? Does it even matter? I'm an atheist, straight-edge, Pesco-vegetarian introvert with bulimia nervosa and border-line anorexic (according to my doctor, although I would disagree). Wow who gives a fuck? There are so many people in this world who matter and I'm just an invisible speck of nothingness. I guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself, which is pathetic, but that's just how I feel, although I don't know if I "am" all those things. I doubt I'll ever really understand "who I am". Anyway, I love reading the stories on this site and listening to music just to escape from myself for a little while. It feels nice getting lost in another reality, even if it's only for a few minutes. So yah that's me I guess.
Sorry I started and abruptly stopped my first and only story. I have a hard time writing with my school, work, and a heavily influential eating disorder that controls every fucking aspect of my existence.

Yep life is fun. Keep writing guys.