A few seconds later i'm pretty sure i passed out, but i hadnt. I couldn't speak, instead i ran after him, but made a bline to the backdoor and ran all the way to the heart of the wood to the swing set me and gerard had. I sat on the swing, my head own. i sighed as tears fell like rain from my eyes into the underbrush. I couldn't believe what happened. I couldn't believe i was so foolish to have let him hear me admit that i was still inlove with him. Ouch. Eventually, i walked up to a tree that was approximately fifteen feet high, and climbed it up to our tree house. Where i sat and cried. What felt like an hour later, Gerard came up, carrying a tray of chocolate cookies and two glasses of strawberry kiwi kool-aid.
"I thought you'd be here." he said, his voice kindly. He handed me a glass of my faveorite drink and sat down next to me, placing the tray of chocolate cookies on the floor of the treehouse.
"Sing to me." he said, knowing that singing was how i got my pain out. i shook my head and handed him my song book.
Gerards POV
I'm Not OK (I Promise)
Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say.
I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way.
For all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took,
Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor?

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
You wear me out

What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?
(I'm not okay)
I've told you time and time again you sing the words but don't know what it means
(I'm not okay)
To be a joke and look, another line without a hook
I held you close as we both shook for the last time take a good hard look!

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
You wear me out

Forget about the dirty looks
The photographs your boyfriend took
You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed

I'm okay
I'm okay!
I'm okay, now
(I'm okay, now)

But you really need to listen to me
Because I'm telling you the truth
I mean this, I'm okay!
(Trust Me)

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
Well, I'm not okay
I'm not o-fucking-kay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
(Okay)
It's Not A Fashion Statement, It's a Deathwish
For what you did to me,
and what I'll do to you,
you get, what everyone else gets,
you get a lifetime

Let's go!

Do you remember that day when we met
you told me this gets harder
well it did
been holding on forever,
promise me that when I'm gone you'll kill my enemies,
the damage you've inflicted, temporary wounds
I'm coming back from the dead and I'll take you home with me
I'm taking back the life you stole

We never got that far,
this helps me to think all through the night
bright lights that won't kill me now, or tell me how
just you and I, your starless eyes remain.

Hip Hip Hooray for me, you talk to me, but would you kill me in my sleep
lay still like the dead
from the razor to the rosary
we could lose ourselves
and paint these walls in pitchfork red

I will avenge my ghost with every breath I take
I'm coming back from the dead and I'll take you home with me
I'm taking back the life you stole

This hole you put me in
wasn't deep enough
and I'm climbing out right now
you're running out of places to hide from me
when you go
just know that I will remember you
if living was the hardest part
we'll then one day be together
and in the end we'll fall apart
just like the leaves change in colors
and then I will be with you
I will be there one last time now

when you go
just know that I will remember you

I lost my fear of falling
I will be with you
I will be with you
Bulletproof Heart
Gravity
Don't mean too much to me
I'm who I've got to be
These pigs are after me, after you
Run away, like it was yesterday
And we could run away, if we could run away
Run away from here

I got a bulletproof heart
You got a hollow-point smile
Me and your runaway scars
Got a photograph dream on the getaway mile

Let's blow a hole in this town
And do our talking with a laser beam
Gunning out of this place in a bullet's embrace
Then we'll do it again

How can they say?
"Jenny could you come back home?"
Cause everybody knows you don't
Ever wanna come back
Let me be the one to save you

Gravity
Don't mean too much to me
I'm who I've got to be
These pigs are after me, after you
Run away, like it was yesterday
When we could run away, when we could run away
Run away from here

I'm shooting out of this room
Because I sure don't like the company
Stop your preaching right there
Cause I really don't care
And I'll do it again

So get me out of my head
Cause it's getting kind of cramped you know
Coming ready or not
When the motor gets hot
We can do it again

The papers say
"Johnny won't you come back home?"
Cause everybody knows you don't
Want to give yourself up then tell the truth
And God will save you

Gravity
Don't mean too much to me
I'm who I've got to be
These pigs are after me, after you
Run away, like it was yesterday
And we could run away, if we could run away
Run away from here

And though I know how much you hate this
Are you gonna be the one to save us
From the black and hopeless feeling?
Will you mean it when the end comes reeling?

Hold your heart into this darkness
Will it ever be the light to shine you out
Or fail and leave you stranded?
I ain't gonna be the one left standing
You ain't gonna be the one left standing
We ain't gonna be the ones left standing

Gravity
Don't mean too much to me
Is this our destiny?
This world is after me, after you
Run away, like it was yesterday
And we could run away,
Run away, run away
Run away from here

Yeah
Away from here
Away from here


My eyes stung, my face soon wet with tears for her. Now i finally understood the pain she was going through. My Dear Helena...
"Turn me." she suddenly said. "Please, maybe the pain won't be as bad,"
"What do you mean?" i asked.
"Please, turn me Lichen." she said. I sat there stunned.