Changing Me Forever
Chapter Four
Gerard’s POV.
Sitting in the back of the ambulance watching the medic work frantically over frank, I could have sworn that I saw his eyes scrunch up a little bit. And his body cringe when the medic-who’s name way ted- hit the side of the vehicle telling the driver to hurry it up a bit. Just sitting there I noticed that he was trying to move but the restraints were holding him in place. Ted must have noticed the same thing and I instinctively grabbed a can in there and ted undid the restraints to allow frank to roll on his side- =which must have hurt like a motherfucker- and vomit up blood.
Ted and I looked at each other with expressions of complete horror. Just as frank lay back on his back, and before we got his restraints back on him-although I don’t think that they would have really helped in this situation- we hit a pothole sending franks body all over causing him to belt out a blood curdling scream. I grabbed his hand and started to softly sing to him a song I had written a few months back.
Be strong, and hold my hand.
Time becomes for us, you’ll understand.
Well say goodbye today,
And were sorry how it all ends this way
If you promise not to cry, then I will tell you just
What I would say
If I could be with you tonight,
I would sing you to sleep,
Never let them take the light behind your eyes.
Just as I said the last few words, I saw his body melt into the stretcher and the look of agony on his face disappear. I don’t quite know how much longer we were in the ambulance for, but before I knew it, frank was being taken into surgery and I was left alone in a waiting room with myself and thoughts.
Franks POV.
~~Time Lapse of a while~~
I woke up in a bed that felt unfamiliar and in a room that smelt really sterile and well stale. As I began to open my eyes, my hearing starts to come back and I hear something that sounds slightly familiar. Beeping. Fuck. I don’t need to open my eyes anymore then a squint to know that I am in a hospital. But how did I end up here? That’s when it all started to flood back to me; my dad beating me, the paramedics, the vomit-oh god the vomit- and most importantly, Gerard; him holding my hand and saying something to me before I blacked out for what felt like the hundredth time today.
Ugh thinking of all this is really making my head hurt! As I reached up to hold my head, I notice two things. One, I have restraints on my hands and quit possibly my feet. And two, someone is holding my hand. It’s probably my mom- but no, my mom has never cared if I was in the hospital before and this person is humming, something my mom never does.
I turn my head slowly so not to frighten the person next to me, as well as because it hurt like a bitch to do this. As I slowly open my eyes, I see something that makes my heart literally skip a beat. No really the machine starts going crazy and makes a lot of unnecessary noise and whatnot. But the cause of this is Gerard. Gerard fucking Way! Why he was here honestly confuses me. But I don’t complain its support. And from what I can gather from the pain that I am in, I’m going to need a lot of it. But whatever, I won’t complain if it’s Gerard supporting me. Wait hold the phone! Did I honestly just think that? What the hell is wrong with me! I barely know the guy!
I guess all this ran through my head in a span of about 10 seconds, because in no time at all, there were three nurses and a doctor surrounding me yelling things at each other. This is before they realized that I am ok-well as ok as someone can be who just got the living shit beat out of them- and waking up in an unnatural environment just scared me a bit.
Something I noticed was that Gerard didn’t let go of my hand once. In fact he held on a bit tighter if anything. And I loved it.
After two of the nurses and the doctor left, the nurse asked if I was feeling ok and if I needed anything. I didn’t turn my head to look at her; instead I looked straight ahead of me, at Gerard and gave him a look that could easily be interpreted as ‘help me’.
“I think he is still in a lot of pain” he said. “but I think he is also hungry, seeing how he hasn’t eaten in a few days, do you think that you could get him some food and maybe after some pain medication if he still needs it?” he concluded as if it’s the simplest fucking thing in the world to figure out.
The nurse doesn’t say anything, but she must have nodded her head or something because Gerard says thank you and she leaves the room.
“Alright they are all gone, let it out” Gerard says.
“Fffffuuuuuccccckkkkk!” I whisper yell at no one in particular.
“There it is. I was wondering when it was going to come out.” He says with a smug look on his face that makes me want to smile, but the pain wins the expression war.
I roll my head back so I’m staring at the ceiling again, but with my eyes open this time. “Hey Gerard?”
“Yes?” he responds with
‘You said I haven’t eaten in a FEW days.”
“I did” he says all matter-of-factly.
“How many days is that?”
“I would say about three I think.”
“You mean you don’t know?” I almost yell at him, well the first part anyway, my body only let me get about half a word out in a welling manner.
Noticing the pain I caused myself, Gerard gripped my hand a bit harder, not too hard though and I liked it.
“Well not sleeping for the entirety of being here has really messed up my reference of time. So yeah I think it’s been about three days.” Did he just say he hasn’t slept sense I got here?
“Why didn’t you sleep?” I asked turning my head to face him, wincing at the pain it caused, that’s it not moving my head anymore.
The look of worry he had for a brief second turned into a grin in which made him answer “I wanted to be awake for when you woke up. Even though I knew you wouldn’t wake up for a while I didn’t want to take the chance. You’re actually supposed to be asleep still. They predicted a week. But I knew that was bullshit from the get go.”
“Damn” that’s really all I could say. I was at lost for words and as I went to raise my free hand to rub my hand to my head I remembered that I’m still restrained. Gerard must have seen the confusion on my face because he answered the next question that I had on my mind.
“You were having some nasty night terrors or some shit because you kept flinging your arms and legs around. I told them that they were unnecessary and you would be fine, but they wouldn’t hear it. So every night when they had finished doing their rounds, which was about 930ish, I would undo your restraints, like so and if you had a terror at all during the night, I would um… sing to you like I did in the ambulance.”
That’s what he did on the ambulance? He sang to me? That’s really sweet. I should probably think that someone that I barely know is singing to me, but I don’t. It feels comforting actually.
By the time I had figuratively shook myself from my thoughts, I was unrestrained. But Gerard still didn’t let go of my hand.
“By the way later on do you think we could talk about something’s? You don’t have to worry, they are not extremely important. Plus, you look really tired.”
He was right I was feeling tired, but I was afraid to go to sleep, in case I did have a terror again, those were freaky and I would rather not relive those again. So I instead schooched over on the bed hoping that he would get the hint. He looked at me and smiled, but that quickly turned to worry
“Are you sure? Aren’t you in like a lot of pain right now?”
“Gerard if I didn’t want you in this bead I would have just turned my head and not put effort into moving my body a whole 12inches. No shit I’m in pain, buy you make me feel so good that I want you next to me, closer to me is actually a better way of saying that.”
With those words he smiled and arose from the chair and carefully laid himself down next to me on the oh so small bed. He stopped a few times when I winced from the weight shifting but nodded my head for him to hurry it up. Once he was next to me I turned to my side almost screaming out loud at how much it hurt.
“Frankie don-” I cut him off by shushing him.
Once I was on my side and somewhat comfortable, I took my had that had Gerard’s and pulled him closer so that he was spooning me and his arm was around me.
“Gerard did my mom ever come to see me?” I asked already knowing the answer to the question but wanting to hear it anyway.
What I wasn’t expecting was Gerard’s arm to tighten around me, but it quickly relaxed when he noticed he was hurting me.
“Go to sleep Frankie, all of your questions will be answered later.” He hushed into my ear making me feel groggy and lethargic.
“I’m still hungry you know” he chuckled and started to sing to me a song I thought sounded slightly familiar.
Be strong, and hold my hand.
Time becomes for us, you’ll understand.
Well say goodbye today,
And were sorry how it all ends this way
If you promise not to cry, then I will tell you just
What I would say
If I could be with you tonight,
I would sing you to sleep,
Never let them take the light behind your eyes.
Little did I know that that song would change me forever.
Sitting in the back of the ambulance watching the medic work frantically over frank, I could have sworn that I saw his eyes scrunch up a little bit. And his body cringe when the medic-who’s name way ted- hit the side of the vehicle telling the driver to hurry it up a bit. Just sitting there I noticed that he was trying to move but the restraints were holding him in place. Ted must have noticed the same thing and I instinctively grabbed a can in there and ted undid the restraints to allow frank to roll on his side- =which must have hurt like a motherfucker- and vomit up blood.
Ted and I looked at each other with expressions of complete horror. Just as frank lay back on his back, and before we got his restraints back on him-although I don’t think that they would have really helped in this situation- we hit a pothole sending franks body all over causing him to belt out a blood curdling scream. I grabbed his hand and started to softly sing to him a song I had written a few months back.
Be strong, and hold my hand.
Time becomes for us, you’ll understand.
Well say goodbye today,
And were sorry how it all ends this way
If you promise not to cry, then I will tell you just
What I would say
If I could be with you tonight,
I would sing you to sleep,
Never let them take the light behind your eyes.
Just as I said the last few words, I saw his body melt into the stretcher and the look of agony on his face disappear. I don’t quite know how much longer we were in the ambulance for, but before I knew it, frank was being taken into surgery and I was left alone in a waiting room with myself and thoughts.
Franks POV.
~~Time Lapse of a while~~
I woke up in a bed that felt unfamiliar and in a room that smelt really sterile and well stale. As I began to open my eyes, my hearing starts to come back and I hear something that sounds slightly familiar. Beeping. Fuck. I don’t need to open my eyes anymore then a squint to know that I am in a hospital. But how did I end up here? That’s when it all started to flood back to me; my dad beating me, the paramedics, the vomit-oh god the vomit- and most importantly, Gerard; him holding my hand and saying something to me before I blacked out for what felt like the hundredth time today.
Ugh thinking of all this is really making my head hurt! As I reached up to hold my head, I notice two things. One, I have restraints on my hands and quit possibly my feet. And two, someone is holding my hand. It’s probably my mom- but no, my mom has never cared if I was in the hospital before and this person is humming, something my mom never does.
I turn my head slowly so not to frighten the person next to me, as well as because it hurt like a bitch to do this. As I slowly open my eyes, I see something that makes my heart literally skip a beat. No really the machine starts going crazy and makes a lot of unnecessary noise and whatnot. But the cause of this is Gerard. Gerard fucking Way! Why he was here honestly confuses me. But I don’t complain its support. And from what I can gather from the pain that I am in, I’m going to need a lot of it. But whatever, I won’t complain if it’s Gerard supporting me. Wait hold the phone! Did I honestly just think that? What the hell is wrong with me! I barely know the guy!
I guess all this ran through my head in a span of about 10 seconds, because in no time at all, there were three nurses and a doctor surrounding me yelling things at each other. This is before they realized that I am ok-well as ok as someone can be who just got the living shit beat out of them- and waking up in an unnatural environment just scared me a bit.
Something I noticed was that Gerard didn’t let go of my hand once. In fact he held on a bit tighter if anything. And I loved it.
After two of the nurses and the doctor left, the nurse asked if I was feeling ok and if I needed anything. I didn’t turn my head to look at her; instead I looked straight ahead of me, at Gerard and gave him a look that could easily be interpreted as ‘help me’.
“I think he is still in a lot of pain” he said. “but I think he is also hungry, seeing how he hasn’t eaten in a few days, do you think that you could get him some food and maybe after some pain medication if he still needs it?” he concluded as if it’s the simplest fucking thing in the world to figure out.
The nurse doesn’t say anything, but she must have nodded her head or something because Gerard says thank you and she leaves the room.
“Alright they are all gone, let it out” Gerard says.
“Fffffuuuuuccccckkkkk!” I whisper yell at no one in particular.
“There it is. I was wondering when it was going to come out.” He says with a smug look on his face that makes me want to smile, but the pain wins the expression war.
I roll my head back so I’m staring at the ceiling again, but with my eyes open this time. “Hey Gerard?”
“Yes?” he responds with
‘You said I haven’t eaten in a FEW days.”
“I did” he says all matter-of-factly.
“How many days is that?”
“I would say about three I think.”
“You mean you don’t know?” I almost yell at him, well the first part anyway, my body only let me get about half a word out in a welling manner.
Noticing the pain I caused myself, Gerard gripped my hand a bit harder, not too hard though and I liked it.
“Well not sleeping for the entirety of being here has really messed up my reference of time. So yeah I think it’s been about three days.” Did he just say he hasn’t slept sense I got here?
“Why didn’t you sleep?” I asked turning my head to face him, wincing at the pain it caused, that’s it not moving my head anymore.
The look of worry he had for a brief second turned into a grin in which made him answer “I wanted to be awake for when you woke up. Even though I knew you wouldn’t wake up for a while I didn’t want to take the chance. You’re actually supposed to be asleep still. They predicted a week. But I knew that was bullshit from the get go.”
“Damn” that’s really all I could say. I was at lost for words and as I went to raise my free hand to rub my hand to my head I remembered that I’m still restrained. Gerard must have seen the confusion on my face because he answered the next question that I had on my mind.
“You were having some nasty night terrors or some shit because you kept flinging your arms and legs around. I told them that they were unnecessary and you would be fine, but they wouldn’t hear it. So every night when they had finished doing their rounds, which was about 930ish, I would undo your restraints, like so and if you had a terror at all during the night, I would um… sing to you like I did in the ambulance.”
That’s what he did on the ambulance? He sang to me? That’s really sweet. I should probably think that someone that I barely know is singing to me, but I don’t. It feels comforting actually.
By the time I had figuratively shook myself from my thoughts, I was unrestrained. But Gerard still didn’t let go of my hand.
“By the way later on do you think we could talk about something’s? You don’t have to worry, they are not extremely important. Plus, you look really tired.”
He was right I was feeling tired, but I was afraid to go to sleep, in case I did have a terror again, those were freaky and I would rather not relive those again. So I instead schooched over on the bed hoping that he would get the hint. He looked at me and smiled, but that quickly turned to worry
“Are you sure? Aren’t you in like a lot of pain right now?”
“Gerard if I didn’t want you in this bead I would have just turned my head and not put effort into moving my body a whole 12inches. No shit I’m in pain, buy you make me feel so good that I want you next to me, closer to me is actually a better way of saying that.”
With those words he smiled and arose from the chair and carefully laid himself down next to me on the oh so small bed. He stopped a few times when I winced from the weight shifting but nodded my head for him to hurry it up. Once he was next to me I turned to my side almost screaming out loud at how much it hurt.
“Frankie don-” I cut him off by shushing him.
Once I was on my side and somewhat comfortable, I took my had that had Gerard’s and pulled him closer so that he was spooning me and his arm was around me.
“Gerard did my mom ever come to see me?” I asked already knowing the answer to the question but wanting to hear it anyway.
What I wasn’t expecting was Gerard’s arm to tighten around me, but it quickly relaxed when he noticed he was hurting me.
“Go to sleep Frankie, all of your questions will be answered later.” He hushed into my ear making me feel groggy and lethargic.
“I’m still hungry you know” he chuckled and started to sing to me a song I thought sounded slightly familiar.
Be strong, and hold my hand.
Time becomes for us, you’ll understand.
Well say goodbye today,
And were sorry how it all ends this way
If you promise not to cry, then I will tell you just
What I would say
If I could be with you tonight,
I would sing you to sleep,
Never let them take the light behind your eyes.
Little did I know that that song would change me forever.
Notes
Oh. My. God. I am so so so sorry for the really long and unnecessary delay. that was ridiculous. I had a serious case of writers block from like the third chapter like what, 2 months ago! I honestly cannot say ho truly sorry that I am. I found some free time in my busy schedule to write you guys a hopefully good enough chapter. I'm really sorry if its of poor quality, I haven't slept in like two weeks (not shitting you) and its late right now. well I hope you enjoy. I have no idea where the other author is, ill try to get ahold of her tomorrow I think, no later today. oh I don't know I hate time its irrelevant and stupid and pointless. ok you know the normal drill. Comments, subscribe, vote, blah blah blah, yatta yatta yatta.Burn Bright my loves <5
-goldie
p.s. sorry this was so long
@MCR IS MY LIFE
Impressed my friend?! Stay tuned!
2/15/16