Gerard P.O.V.
Why did I kiss her! Why, why, why, why, why!
I mean, yeah I was thinking about her and she was so beautiful.
"Gosh. I really fucked it up." I muttered to myself as I lay in bed.
I sighed and turned to my side to see the clock on the wall. 2:25.
Should I pretend like nothing happened? Who am I kidding, something big did happen.
"I should apologize to her." I said to myself after thirty minutes of silence.
I get up and head to her room. I stand in front of the door. I close my eyes and take a deep breath.
"Irmarie?" I say and gently knock on the door.
No response.
I look in under the door, there's a light on.
"Irmarie?" I said again.
No response.
"Hm."
I slowly open the door. "Irmarie?" I said quietly.
I walked in. She was facing the clock on the wall.
I stood by her side, she had fallen asleep. There was one tear slowly falling, I gently wiped it away.
I fucked up, big time. I thought to myself.
I grab the blanket and covered her. "I'm sorry." I whispered and turned off the light.
I wake up by an alarm.
"Wow, you're a heavy sleeper." Irmarie said as she lowered her arm that is holding a horn.
"I know, right?" Mikey said holding a pan and a spoon.
"What?" I said sitting up.
"Well, Mikey and I have been trying to wake you up for about an hour now." Irmarie said.
"Where the fuck did you get the horn?" I asked.
"Grandma Helena." Mikey said.
"Yeah. Donna said we're leaving in thirty minutes." Irmarie said.
"Thirty minutes!" I said.
"Well, it was suppose to be an hour and thirty but your lazy ass wouldn't wake up." Mikey said.
"Thirty minutes!" Irmarie said then left, Mikey followed.
I was surprise that Irmarie acted like nothing had happened last night. I give her props on acting.
I stood up and started walking to the hallway. I saw Irmarie outside on the balcony.
I quickly ran to my room and put on my shoes and sweater, then ran back out to the balcony.
"Hey." Irmarie said looking at the yard.
"Uh, hey." I said.
She kept staring at the bushes of primrose that Grandma has had since she planted them when Grandpa died.
"Why do you keep staring at the primrose?" I asked.
She sighs, but it's a sad one. "It's a long story." She said.
"I've got all the time in the world," I said.
"It's kind of depressing." Irmarie said and started playing with her bracelets.
"I still want to hear it." I said.
Irmarie looks at me then at the primrose.
"There's six of us." Irmarie said.
"What?"
"My parents didn't have five kids, they had six kids." Irmarie said.
"Who's the sixth?" I asked.
"My older sister. She was the first one to be born. Her name was Helena, like your Grandma. Now, I'm going to tell you as a second resource.
"Helena Hale is four years older than Robin. So, after Mom and Dad had Robin and the triplets, Helena was about eight years old. I use to overhear story's about her as I grew up.
"So, while I was being conceived, Helena was twelve years old. She use to go to an old Catholic school that had shut down a couple of years ago. So, the Catholic school had these trips, and the trip that year was to go to Los Angeles, any junior high student could go, they just had to pay their ticket.
"At first, Helena didn't want to go because she wanted to stay home with me, the triplets, and Robin. But in the end, she ended up going.
"Remember, we still lived in Dallas. She had to take two airplane rides to get to their destination. The airplane she took off here in Dallas was heading to New York City.
"On September 11th at eight in the morning, I was in my kindergarten class and we were beginning math class. Our principle came in running, she looked so scared, she whispered something to my teacher and then she looked scared, too.
"I didn't know this, I was only five, but that's when the first plane went into the World Trade Center. A couple of minutes later, my Mom had come to pick me and my brothers up. I remember how confused I was. I would ask my Ma what was wrong but she didn't say anything.
"Once we were home, Mom got a call from Helena, Dad was there, too. I'll tell you something, I was such an eavesdropper as a kid. Mom and Dad went to the kitchen, they had the phone on speaker. I remember how Helena was crying. She said that there were hijackers in the plane she was in and that she knew she was going to die. She said she call to say goodbye. Then she said she wanted to talk to us.
"Mom and Dad called us in the kitchen. Helena was saying to each one of us how much she loved us and how special we all are. Her voice sounded like she was fighting back the tears. When she got to me, she told me to be who I wanted to be, to not take any ones shit. She told me she loved me so much and to remember to water her primrose for her.
"At first, I thought she was leaving us. I cried over the phone and said not to leave us. Helena said she was never going to leave us. She said when I get older, I will understand why she couldn't stay here anymore.
"I promised her that I will water her primrose. She then said she was sorry she couldn't make it to my kindergarten graduation, to be my dama in my quince, to help me with relationship problems, to be at my high school graduation, to see me succeed in life, to be the maid of honor at my wedding. And then she told me to stay strong. Then we heard her say goodbye and then a loud bang.
"After that, my Mom became depressed, Dad became anorexic. I guess you can say I too became depressed. A week after September 11th, I went back to school. I got sympathetic looks from teachers and I didn't know why.
"That same week Mom and Dad had gotten a call from someone. All I remember is Dad saying they found Helena's body and that she was one of the few people who still had a corpse. A week later someone flew her corpse to us and we buried her in Dallas.
"Helena's middle name is Primrose. We all decided to put Primroses on her grave. That same week we buried her was her birthday.
"On her birthday, I knew she was never coming home. I knew she died." Irmarie said and then broke down.
I pulled her to a big hug. "You couldn't do anything about it." I tried to say while feeling the lump on my throat get bigger.
"I want Helena back," Irmarie cried into my chest. "I miss her so much."
I let her cry for a while before I said anything.
"I saw it happen." I said.
"What?"
"Mom and I were there. We were in the towers and I don't remember what for. Dad and Mikey were still in the hotel. Well, the ground shook. We didn't know what happen. There was a t.v. in the room, then it was on the news. All I remember is Mom grabbing me and then she started to run.
"When we had ran outside, I saw the building with dark smoke coming out of it. The fireman told my Mom to run into a store for safety. Well, Mom ran to a store that was a block away. I remember it was a very small store, there wasn't anybody there, just the owner and his son.
"I kept looking out the window, looking at the Twin Towers. Mom told me to stay away from the window. I saw an airplane going to the direction to the other tower. I called Mom and we all looked out the window and saw the plane crash to the tower. Mom began to cry. The son took me away from the window, he told me that we were going to play a game of hide-and-go-seek. I hid and he tried to find me. He was a teenager.
"When he found me, I ran to the window only to see things falling off the buildings. I then found out they were people jumping off. Then I saw both of the towers fall." I said.
"I'm sorry." Irmarie said and hugged me tighter.
"I'm sorry for your lost." I said.
"Helena would of love to meet you." Irmarie said.
"I would of love to meet her." I said.
Irmarie pulled away and wiped away her tears. "I'm going to go inside. I'm freezing my ass off." She sadly smiled.
"Ditto." I said.
"Gerard, may I talk to you?" Grandma Helena said.
"Uh, sure."
Grandma Helena motioned me to follow her. I followed her to her room.
"I saw what happened earlier today." She said. "And I saw the way you held her."
Oh Grandma, if only you knew what happened last night...
"And..." I said.
"Don't be afraid to love her." She said.
I stayed there in silence. I wasn't going to put up a fight saying I don't love her, I already admitted it. Plus, Grandma Helena is always right.
"Did something happen?" She asked.
"Yeah..." I whispered.
"And what happened?" She asked again.
"Last night, she was outside with the guitar. I was up with her. I told her to play something for me, she played this song from Paramore. In the middle of the song I kissed her, but, I kind of ran away." I said.
"Well, way to go." Grandma said sarcastically.
"What. I was just confused and shocked that I had kissed her." I said.
"Just remember one thing: don't be afraid to love her. She's a sweet girl and I know she was your crush. Go, go to her and tell her you love her." Grandma smiled.

Notes

Dude... I cried making this chapter...