Fortuitous Casualty

“I’m still too sober for this.” Rocky says as she sips down her Momosa, still in her bra and panties. I chuckle at her from the edge of the pool, the water covering my naked waist.
“You don’t have to.” Gina says, shrugging.
“I can be fun like you guys.” Rocky says in a way that makes me want to ‘awh’ at her. She seemed more innocent then she really was, I think though.
“Marlo isn’t getting naked.” Mikey consoles her.
“That's because Mikey already told everyone how hung I am so I don’t have to prove it.” Marlo responds blankly. I vaguely wonder how he’d feel about me having sex with Mikey, but it seemed like everyone Mikey was sleeping with was a causal thing.
As for me, Gina, Trip and Mikey, we’d been naked for the past hour, after we’d gotten champagne and orange juice. I had only drank two glass, afraid if I was too drunk I’d drown.
“Fuck it.” Rocky says, standing up. I respectfully turn away as she begins to strip completely, as do the other guys. Gina, I’m guessing, doesn’t though.
“Why am I not a lesbian?” She sighs, making Rocky laugh. I see a shadow run towards the pool and a splash, and a couple seconds later her head emerges from the water. Mikey catches my eye from across the pool and slowly begins to swim over, not breaking eye contact. When he reaches me he smiles, leaning in.
“Not here, our friends.”
“They don’t care Frank, promise.” Mikey responds. I nervously stare as he leans in, and give in, meeting him halfway. He slowly kisses me, and then begins to bite down my neck, sucking gently at the sick. I grip his waist, leaning my head back to give him more access.
I feel a shadow on my face and open my eyes to Marlo, sitting in front of me with his legs around my body. Mikey leans up and kisses him, and them me again. Marlo leans down and kisses me as Mikey begins to kiss my neck again, and I kiss back passionately.
“Is this what you guys do all day together?” I laugh as Marlo breaks away, making him chuckle.
“Mmm, well Rocky’s really the only one who's never joined in, so kinda.” Marlo responds, a half smile on his face. I raise an eyebrow and smirk, before leaning back up, silently asking for another kiss. He obliged, kissing me more wildly this time.
“We have to stop,” Mikey says heavily, breaking away from my neck.
“Why?” I ask, frowning.
“Because if we don’t I’m going to fuck you right here.” He says, making me grin.
“I’m sure they’d enjoy the view.” I respond, using my legs to press him to me.
“Really though, I’m enjoying this view.” Gina laughs from the table, taking a sip of her momosa.
“Ever had a threesome?” Mikey asks me, smirking.
“I was in a coma for seven years dude, I lost my virginity to your brother, like, seriously three months ago.” I respond, shaking my head. Marlo stands and Mikey breaks away, getting out the pool. I bite my lip, taking it as an invitation.
“Coming?” Mikey asks, smirking again before turning away, headed for the house.
“Fuckme.” I groan, wiping wet hair out of my face.
“Feel free to join, Gina, Trip.” Mikey says, leaving out Rocky on the account of her being a lesbian.
I decide to get up and make my way toward the house, making Rocky whistle.
“Get it Frank!” She yells, laughing. I shake my head and laugh, watching as Gina stands, walking inside too. I realise she’s going to have sex with us- and feel weird for a minute. I’m gay. I kinda didn’t want to see Gina like that, but a part of me wonder if maybe I was bi- I never experimented with girls, I just knew I was gay.
Marlo has Mikey lifted on the counter, hotly making out. Gina walks up to them and immediately gets on her knees between the two of them, and that's when it hits me.
A full blown anxiety attack. I quickly turn away as I lose my breath, gasping for air. I hope they don’t notice as I walk back outside, gripping my chest.
“Oh my god,” I gasp, sitting on the steps. “Oh my God, oh my God, I can’t breathe,” my words are barely understandable, and I’m not sure why I even talk- it's not like I was talking to someone.
“Frank?” Rocky asks, her voice distant.
“I’m fine,” I gasp, waving her off. “I’m good,”
“Frank, I can barely even understand you.” Her voice is coming closer, and I look up, vision blurred, watching as Trip and her near me.
“It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s okay-”
“Frank, calm down, okay? What happened?” She asks, holding my hand tightly.
“Frank, breathe with me, okay? Take a deep breath.” Trips says, and I oblige. “Okay, out.”
Its harder to control then he makes it sounds, but after a couple minutes, my breathing slows, as well as my pulse.
“What happened?” Rocky asks again, taking a quick glance at the back door. “Did they push you to do something you didn’t wanna do?” She asks more softly, keeping a neutral face.
“No, God no.” I respond, shaking my head. “I just- they were, y’know, getting busy, and I was fine, and then it just hit me.”
“Maybe pace yourself with the sex thing, Frank. Work up to threesome and foursomes, y’know? Even if it didn’t freak you out knowingly, subconsciously it probably did.” Trip says gently, putting a hand on my shoulder.
“Your right. Thanks guys. Sorry about that, I used to get anxiety attacks when I was a teenager, I just haven’t had them since the coma.” I explain, letting out a deep breath. Rocky nods understandingly, her wet, long hair falling forward.
“Just pace yourself, with everything. When we’re teens, everything's new and scary and stressful, but you never got the chance to really grow up because of your coma. Your emotionally mature, but you haven’t experienced. The bars, the drinking, all of it. We’ll go easy from now on, ‘kay?” Rocky smiles, still holding my hand.
“Thanks Rocky.” I say genuinely. “I would hug you guys, but were all naked, so, yeah.” Trip laughs at that, as if he thinks I’m truly funny.
“I’ll be right back, ‘kay? First, I’m gonna get some clothes on, y’know seeing someone freak out is a mood killer.” Rocky jokes, before getting up and putting her clothes on. She goes inside, and I hear voices, conflicting voices, coming from the house. I sigh, knowing she’s probably telling them to get dressed.
“She just cares. You were loyal to her last night, which is more than she normally gets from people, except for us. She’s gonna protect you from now on, she knows you need it.” Trip explains, smiling a little. I take a minute to digest that, and smile gently at him.
“I’m really glad I met you guys.” I say, nodding to myself a little.
“We are too, Frank, really. We haven't even known each other for twenty four hours, but your already tight with us. One of our own.” Trip says, patting my shoulder. I hear the door behind us close ludly, and turn to see Mikey coming toward us.
“You okay man?” Mikey asks, and the statement seems strange. After having his tongue stuck down my throat, I guess I didn't expect to be called ‘man’. He sits down next to me, eyebrows raised.
“Yeah, no I’m good.” I say nodding. “Gerard’s gonna be home soon, I’m going to clean up. If you could, uh, get them all dressed and decent so Gee doesn’t have a heart attack, I’d really appreciate it.” I ask Mikey, making him nod, briefly smiling. I go inside, walking around the kitchen and through the dining room instead, avoiding everyone. I go straight upstairs and turn the shower on, feeling my muscles relax under the water. I sigh and begin to wash my hair and my body, only really feeling better when I hear our bedroom door close.
“Frankie?” I hear Gerard call for me.
“In here honey.” I call back, the water nearly drowning out my voice. “Join me?” I ask as he walks in the bathroom, smiling pleadingly at him.
“Course baby. Are you feeling okay?” He asks concernedly, apparently picking up my gloomy vibes.
“Yeah honey, I just missed you a lot today.” I respond, watching as he undresses.
“I’m sorry honey. I missed you too. If you want, you can come to the hospital Monday with me. The staff’s wondering how you are, and they opened a nice coffee shop downstairs so you can get work done there and have a constant stream of coffee.” he offers, finishing undressing and stepping into our large shower.
“That sounds really nice, actually. Thank you honey.” I say, hugging him to my body in the warm spray. He hums in response, holding my body to his tightly.
“Of course. I met your friends.” He says gently, running his hands sofly up my back.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, I like them They seem really cool.” He smiles, genuinely, making me smile back up at him.
“I’m glad you like them, they’re really great.” I respond, nuzzling my head into his neck.
“I’m gonna go get dressed in some pajamas and lie down for awhile, join me when your done, yeah?” I say, turning to get out.
“‘Course love, be out in a minute.” He says, picking up the shampoo. I step out and get a towel, wrapping my waist before walking out and dressing myself in sweats and a t-shirt. I lie down on my side of the bed, eyes closed.
I hear Gerard come in a couple minutes later, dressing before climbing into bed.
“Come here.” He says as he lies down in the middle of the bed, arms open. I lie my head in his neck, our feet tangling together. We mold together, and I feel okay again.
“I love-”
“I know. Quiet.” I whisper, my eyes heavy. He silently chuckles and quiets again, rubbing my back occasionally.
Eventually I fall asleep, probably from the alcohol I was beginning to sober up from. Gerard holds me tightly and strokes my hair occasionally, soothing me to sleep.
“I love-”
“I know. Quiet.” He whispers back, cutting me off.
**
**
I wake later that night, at around nine. Gerards next to me, deeply asleep. I head down the dark hallway, feeling creeped out. The mansion was big, and hard to keep warm at night and i begin to shiver due to the cold air.
I hurry downstairs, searching for the thermostat to raise the heat.
“Frank,” Mikey half whispers from the couch, looking away from me as I turn my head. I jump, my pulse raising as I snap my head toward him.
“Mikey, oh my fucking-” I gasp, breathing hard. The big window left of the tv is wide open, letting in cold wind. “Close those. I’m freezing.”
“Frank, come sit down.” He demands seriously, not looking at me. I get the chills again, his seriousness freaking me out. I slowly walk over to him, realizing he had a bottle of jack in hand.
I lean into him, waiting for him to speak.
“I heard people talking outside.” He whispers quickly, his face neutral but his eyes wide.
“Your freaking me out.” I whisper back, reaching for his hand.
“I’m freaked out.” He says, trying to look casual as he leans back and looks at the window. I, too, try to look casual as I lie my head on Mikey’s shoulder, looking out the window. I slowly reach for his bottle of jack as I look for something out the window. I don’t see it, but I hear it. Whispers.
“Come sleep in our bed.” I whisper to Mikey, hand shaking as I pull the bottle from my mouth. He saw in my eyes that I was scared- I knew because I could see it in his.
“Okay.” He hands slowly and stands, gripping my hand. I stand with him, taking another gulp of the jack bottle. We slowly walk over to the window together, and I no longer hear whispers. Mikey tries to uncaringly shut the windows, and if I didn’t know him I wouldn’t have known he was scared. I could see it in the tension of his muscles.
We turn and cross the room, climbing the stairs in synch. He turns off the lights as we go, thermostat forgotten.
I climb into the middle of mine and Gerard’s bed when we reach it, sliding under the covers.
“Gerard,” I shake him awake quietly, gripping Mikey’s hand as I do so.
“Baby?” He questions, looking up at me in the dark, eyes tired.
“Mikey heard people talking outside our mansion, I heard whispering. I’m scared.” I say very lowly as I lie down next to him, being discrete. He turns his head and whispers lowly back.
“I’ll take care of it tomorrow. Sleep.” He says, kissing my head. He looks over at Mikey and shifts, getting comfortable. I lie my head on Gerard’s chest as Mikey spoons me, feeling relief when I’m warm.
I open my eyes and look to the big glass wall in our room, snapping my eyes shut when I see a flicker of light from below, where our porch is.
I lie there and drink the rest of the bottle of jack as Gerard and Mikey fall asleep, ignoring the fact that I feared- knew people were outside our house.
**
**
I wake to a sensation of being on fire, the feeling of being the sun. Gerard’s hand is pressed to my face as he sleeps, his face up against mine. One legs is thrown over mt hips, hos body pressed to mien. Mikey’s arm is slung across my waist, barely touching Gerard’s stomach, his body pressed tightly to mine. I link my fingers with Mikey’s and reach up to kiss Gerard’s nose tiredly, making his eyes flicker open.
“Good morning.” I whisper sleepily, my eyes still heavy. Memories from last night swarmed back to my head, and I glance over at the widow, expecting to see a face, pr something. An eerie feeling takes over my body, like I’m being watched.
“Whats wrong?” Gerard must’ve seen the change in my face, because his is concerned.
“Gerard, I think someone is watching us.” I whisper, my eyes serious and scared, watching his face for changes. His face muscles stiffen, and he nods slowly.
“Were going to act normal. I will get a security team.” He whispers back, rubbing my arm gently. He gets up, looking over at Mikey before putting on a t shirt.
“I’m going to run some errands, I’ll be back soon my love.” He says pointedly, putting on slippers and a sweater. This action seemed suspicious even to me- Gerard was not a morning person. He didn’t roll out of bed for two hours if he didn’t have to.
“Okay.” I nod my head, watching him.
“Do you and Mikey want to come?” He asks, stopping to look at me. It occurs to me he’s afraid to leave me- he may even be afraid to leave the house. I nod, and shake Mikey’s shoulder.
“Mikey.” I whisper, making his eyes open. He smiles, and before he sees Gerard, kisses my lips, just a peck. I look over at Gerard, whose mouth is open. He doesn’t look like he’s angry, or in shock.
“We’ll talk about it later,” He says rushedly, grabbing my slippers and throwing them to me. Mikey looks at him, just now realising he’s in the room.
“Mikes, we gotta go. Put on my slippers and jacket, just lets go.” I say,throwing him another pair of slippers as I get out of bed. I out on sweats and a hoodie, watching as Mikey picks up on our rushed tone and begins to dress.
“Alexa,” He calls, waiting for her to beeo before continuing. “Call the downstairs.”
“Hello?” Max answers, his voice kind as ever.
“Max, I’m about to leave, could you please lock the doors and gates after me? And make sure you and Angela stay inside until I get back, please,” He seems to not care people could be listening- at least he seems to value their safety over alarming whoever was watching us.
I begin to feel crazy and paranoid sitting there- but I know I heard those voices, and saw that light.
“Get your gun.” I hiss at Gerard, trying to make my voice unhearable to anyone outside. He widens his eyes, but does so.
“Go to the car, get my keys, they’re on the table.” Gerard demands, pointing to the door. I wave toward Mikey, telling him to move it, but I watch as Gee takes everything out of the safe- the fake license, the money, the keys, all of it.
I practically run downstairs with Mikey, grabbing the keys and flinging open the door. I fastly walk outside, Mikey’s hand in mine as I wildly search the yard.
“Frank, calm down,” Mikey breathes to me as I rush to the car, unlocking it. I lift the middle console, sitting in the uncomfortable middle seat to allow for room for Mikey.
He slides in, putting his hand gently on my thigh.
“Calm down.” He says quietly, rubbing his thumb across my thigh.
“I’m scared.” I say, breathing out shakily.
“Its okay Frank. I will bite a bullet for you before I let you die.” He says, but I know he’s scared too. I believed he would protect my life, because I would protect his, and Gerard’s, obviously. I see Gerard rush out of the house and Mikey removes his hand from my thigh. He gets in, immediately backing out.
“I’m scared there’s fucking microphones in here,” Gerard says bitterly, hitting his hand on the wheel. He was no longer scared- now he was angry. He drives fastly, too fast for my taste, headed to god knows where.
“Please stop driving so fast.” I say, biting my lip.
“Were fine.” He says, continuing.
“Gerard, stop.” I say, more seriously.
“Frank, were fine-”
“Gerard fucking stop driving the car so fast!” Mikey yells, throwing his hands up. “In case you don’t remember, we were in a car crash Gerard, that typically freaks people who almost died from it out.” Mikey snaps, his voice bitter. Gerard looks carefully at him, before slowly.
“I’m sorry.” He says, more calm now.
“I’m sorry for yelling.” Mikey follows, his voice calmer as well.
“Where are we going?” I ask, looking at Gerard. He clenches his teeth, looking down at the steering wheel.
“No lies. No secrets.” I say, shaking my head.
“No lies, no secrets.” He confirms, nodding. He sighs, gripping the steering wheel.
“Were going to my drug dealer. If he's not the one doing this, he can protect us.” Gerard says, his face neutral.
“Why would he protect us?” I ask, squinting my eyes. He gripped the steering wheel harder. “Gerard.” I say in a demanding voice.
“Because I have money, and if he doesn’t want money, he wants allies, and if he doesnt want that, he wants drugs Frank, and all of those are things I can do.” Gerard says matter of factly, focusing on the road.
“And if he’s the one doing this?” I ask.
“I have a gun. To his men, I’m a God. I’m a doctor, for God’s sake, I can get shit they never could. I guarantee you when I go in, they won’t search me, and if and when I shoot their drug pimp, they’ll crown me as drug pimp. I’m not scared of this Frank, this is the last thing to be scared of.” He responds, not looking at me.
“Gerard, you are not-” I stop, looking at him.
“Not what, Frank?” He asks, eyebrows raised.
“Not… dangerous.” I finish, lowly.
“To you.” He says, pressing on the breaks. I look up to a big warehouse a safe distance away, down a dirt road. There were no cars, no people. It was somewhere you would never find iy, planted in the middle of a bunch of mountains.
“Listen to me, you stay in this car. Do not move, no matter what. In fact, both of you hide behind this seat, and if you see anyone- anyone but me, you fucking run. I mean it.” He says, lowly, scarily, his eyes dark. He kisses me roughly.
“I’ll be back.” He says, before closing the door. I climb behind the seat, not wasting a second. Mikey follows, his face neutral.
“Just close your eyes and count.” Mikey says, closing his. I nod, and tey, but my breath comes out ragged and the numbers are hard to understand.
“Were going to die.” I whisper, twisting my fingers in a knot.
“Shut up, no were not.” He says defensively, shaking his head. I hold my head in my hands, my nerves up to my stomach.
“Were going to die, were going to die, were going to die,” I whisper to myself, over and over again.
“Frank, shut up!” Mikey snaps, and just then, our doors fly open. I feel someone grab the back of my shirt, and then my arms, and yank me out. I watch Mikeys face as arm enclose around his shoulders, taking him out of the car too.
The strong arms yank me to the other side of the car, where Mikey is, a man dressed in all black yanking him around. The man holding me throws me to the ground, where I hit face first. I look up at Mikey, expecting to find him standing, but he, too, is in the dirt. He grits his teeth and looks at me, before, smirking a little. I furrow my eyebrows, but my question is answered when he fastly pulls out a gun, pointing it at the guy who was holding him.
The guy doesn't react much, just raises his eyebrows.
We stay there like that for a minute, until I remember what Gerard said.
“Were with Gerard! Okay? This is Gerard’s car!” I yell, making them both look at me. They look at eachother, before my guy pulls me up. They don't speak, we just stand. Stand and wait.
“Boss!” One of the guys call, making me snap my head to the direction he’s yelling. A man in a black gucci suit is approaching us, Gerard by our side.
“You want us to get rid of them?” The other guy aks, waving his gun.
“No. So eagar. Gather Hazel, Jester, Pixel, Molly Jane, Sugar, Marble, and load up and follow them home. You will be guarding their house, spread out on their perimeter, and I’ll send some guys in about six hours to take over.” The man tells them, before looking at me and Mikey. He smiles at me, his good looking face cringing at the mouth.
“This one must be your lover.” He tilts his head, studying me. I study him to, sizing him up. THis he notices, and offers in approving smile.
“I’ll be in touch Gerard.” He smiles and pats Gee’s shoulder, before turning away.
“Were going to load up, give us one sec.” My guy says, the tattooed dice on his cheek moving as his lips do. I get back in the car, hastily, my nerves through the roof.
“What did you have to do?” I gasp at Gerard, looking at him with furrowed eyebrows.
“His men need a safe house, all I have to do is allow his men in hiding stay with me.” Gerard explains, his voice neutral.
“In our house?” I gap at him, horriffed.
“Yes, Frank, it's safer anyway. No one is going to try anything if there’s dangerous men in our house. And besides, I know most of these guys.” He counters, uncaring. I just stay quiet after that. I watch as a black hummer drives toward us, and Gerard turns the car around, driving down the road with the guys from before in tow.
The whole way home I’m on edge, expecting something to happen, or maybe preparing myself for what could happen when we get home. We’re all quiet, save for the low music on the radio that doesn’t seem to help with my nerves.
Everything feels off when we get home- but not in a noticeable way. The hedges were clean, the green grass was leafless, the trees were still. It just felt wrong, different.
The guys from the truck behind don’t bother to stare at the mansion, just ask direction from Gerard. He frowns and grabs a sheet from his middle counselling, something like blue prints. I watch as he points to corners of the house and tells them to stand, with their guns, as well as ask their boss to set up cameras. He also tells them he’ll have lunch brought out to them, as well as hourly drinks.
When Gerard finishes, he stares at me, like I’m a problem on a paper he didn’t want anyone to know he was struggling with. I stare back, blankly, waiting for him to say something. Eventually he folds the paper and turns away, walking across the pavement to the stairs that led inside. Mikey had already disappeared, and I watch as the men scatter around the house. I look briefly over by the gate, my teeth catching my lip when I see a flicker of movement in the garden. I pause, and watch, waiting. When nothing happens, I nervously breathe in, and continue inside, trying to shake the eerie feeling that there were people here.
I go upstairs, in search of Gerard. I knew he had something to say about Mikey. I find him in our bathroom, washing his face.
“Hi.” I say, sitting on the bathroom counter. “Hello.” He responds blankly, wiping water from his eye.
“Honey?”
“Hmm?” He responds, drying his face.
“Don’t you have anything to say?” I ask, eyebrows raised.
“No.” He responds, shrugging. I sigh and roll my eyes, before latching my fingers on his pajama bottoms.
“Please come kiss me.” I sigh, looking at him through my hair. He stops, looking down at the sink.
“Now you want to be intimate?” He asks, looking up. I remove my hand from his pajama bottoms, feeling stung.
“No. Not anymore.” I shake my head, getting off the counter.
“Frank, oh my god, get back here you drama queen.” He says exasperatedly, shaking his head.
“Why, so you can be an asshole?” I ask, glaring at him.
“Your so immature, you can’t even have a real conversation.” He say angrily, making me grit my teeth.
“Your idea of a real conversation is insulting me.” I spit, taking a step toward him.
“Your idea of a conversation is name calling or walking away!” He counters, throwing his hands up.
“Maybe its because your an insulting ass!” I yell back, his jaw ridgid.
“Then go have sex with Mikey!” He screams, loudly, to where I’m sure Mikey heard. My face drops, now blank, and I just stare.
“Okay,” I say slowly, turning away. “I'm gonna go do that.” I nod, and leave. I only get through our bedroom door before I hear his footsteps.
“Just get out!” He yells pointing to the stairs.
“Excuse me?” I yell back, pushing his arms away from me.
“Leave! Get the fuck out, just go!”
“No! You get the fuck out!” I yell back, tears in my eyes.
“Frank, I’m fucking serious, get the hell out!”
“What the fuck?” Mikey yells, catching your attention. He stands a couple feet down the hall, by his doorway.
“Oh, just fucking great!” Gerard laughs, throwing his arms up.
“Frank, were leaving.” Mikey says sternly, giving Gerard a disgusted look.
“The fuck you are! You are not fucking leaving with my boyfriend, Mikey.” Gerard yells at him, coming closer to Mikey.
“Frank, I’m serious, you need to get your shit and meet me the fuck outside” Mikey spits, his eyes never breaking away from Gerard. I run into mine and Gerard’s room, feeling the tension in my body. I grab a couple outfits and pajamas, my toothbrush and charger, and the whole time I’m praying they aren’t fist fighting.
“It’s okay Frank.” I whisper to myself, before exiting the room. They’re no longer in the hall, but Mikey’s room. I rush in there, finding Mikey frantically grabbing shit and putting it in a bag as Gerard yells.
“Mikey, lets go,” I choke out fastly, my eyes wide.
“Why the fuck do you look scared, Frank?” Gerard yells, throwing his arms up. “Am I fucking scary?” He laughs, shaking his head.
“Shut the fuck up, you motherucker!” Mikey yells at him, putting his finger. “No more scary than your dad, huh, Frank?” Gerard says sarcastically, looking at me. I feel my breath stop in my throat, and before I even feel myself, I lunge at him.
“I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!” I yell as I shove him backward, multiple times. He looks shocked, hurt maybe, but I don't care. Mikey drags me off of him, picking me up by my waist and carrying me away.
“It's best to leave when he gets like this.” Mikey says with a sigh.
“Like what?” I question, my breathing shaky.
“Angry.” He says, finally putting me down. He grabs his keys, and we head out to the car.
“Where are we going?” I ask as he unlocks it, allowing me to get in.
“Rockys. Or Ginas. Or Trips, or whoever you want.” He says carelessly, starting the car.
“Can we go to Rocky’s?”
“I knew you’d ask that.” Mikey smiles, briefly, the car moving slowly out of the driveway. “Yeah, we can.”
“Can we please make out soon?” I ask, tilting my head.
“Even...after that fight?” He says, confused. Fighting over sex isn't sexy, but Mikey was sexy when he was angry. And he knew how to handle Gerard in a way I never could. That was definitely sexy.
“He’ll get over it. He’s being jealous, this is just sex, itz the same as me sleeping with anyone else. So please make out with me because your really sexually frustrating me with that bed head.” I say as I lie my head back to look at him, grinning.
“So conflict makes you sexual? Good to know.” He laughs, eyes on the road.
“Yeah, its real weird because I’m not that into rough sex.” I shrug, nodding. He nods, and we quiet down for a couple minutes. I watch mountains go by faster, enjoying the white noise of the car moving.
“I need to smoke.” Mikey says after a while, pulling off the highway. He stops the car and grabs his cigarettes, rolling down his window.
“I’m sorry about what Gerard said. About your dad.” MIkey says, looking over at me. I shrug, not looking at him. “Look, you never talked about it. I know your dad messed you up pretty bad Frank, and I just want to make sure its not hurting you now.”
“Mikey, the only context I ever wanna say ‘daddy’ in is a kinky one. Were not talking about this. Can I have a cigarette?” Mikey sighs, but hands me one. He smiles over at me, before swinging his leg over me, and climbing on top of me. I stare lustfully into his eyes, his breath hot.
“Fuck, your so fucking hot Mikey.” I say lowly, grabbing his hips. He kisses me, passionately, his lips pressing frantically against mine.
“Fuck Gerard,” He groans, making me chuckle. I kiss him again, this time slower.
“Mmm, you taste good.” He says against my lips, looking briefly into my eyes. He pauses, before chewing his lip.
“Could we..just lie for awhile? I’m not really in a sexy mood after that.” He asks, sitting up a little.
“Of course Mikes. Whatever you need.” I nod, tapping my chest to signal for him to lie down. I put my seat all the way back and accept his weight, wrapping him in my arms.
“Thank you,” He sighs into me, his eyes shut.
“Of course.” I whisper, shutting my eyes. I know I should feel guilty after what just happened, but I can’t find it in me. I don’t feel guilty, I felt scared- of Gerard, of the entire living situation, probably more then somewhat induced by the fact we were being watched.
I watch Mikey’s face shift as he thinks, occasionally swiping hair out of his eyes. After ten minutes of lying inertia, tangled together, he sits up and silently gets up and begins to drive again.
I lie down and watch him, his face blurring with the mountains that moved by so fast. I clutch his hand and shut my eyes, dreaming of a world where I can be in love with Gerard and still have Mikey.

Notes