It Was A Lie When They Smiled And Said You Won't Feel A thing

I walk across the grass and away from the buses, needing some space when I see him. He's laying in the middle of the field behind the buses, his head tilted back and a lazy, almost strange looking smile spread across his lips, his eyes covered by large sunglasses and as I take a step towards him I see his hand move from his side towards his face, only now just spotting the small stream of smoke steadily rising from the lit cigarette between his fingers. I stand still and watch him take a drag, the movement of his lips around the filter looking almost sensual before he pulls it away again and a long second later he slowly exhales the smoke, making the whole act look magical. I start to walk again, approaching him slowly as I dig in my pocket for my own cigarettes and when I am a few steps away his head tilts up even further, a curious look on his face as he says "Hi." I feel my mouth pull into a smile, an expression my face hasn't portrayed much recently so my cheeks are slightly aching by the time I manage to get out "Hi, I'm Gerard." "Frank" he responds, sending me a warm smile before adding "Would you like to join me?" I continue to smile as I nod, slowly lowering myself to the ground and he sits up, turning himself to face me as he crosses his legs infront of him and takes another drag from his cigarette. "I hope you don't mind" he says, gesturing with his hand holding the cigarette and I shake my head as I pull out my own and light it. His face breaks out into a massive smile as he takes another drag and tilts his head back to exhale, stubbing out his now finished cigarette before sitting the butt beside him. "So you're in the new band right?" He asks, his focus turning back on me and I nod before saying "Yeah." "How are you enjoying rockstar life so far?" I let out a small choked off laugh before saying "We're hardly rockstars." "I don't know, I caught your set yesterday and you looked pretty rockstarish to me." I feel my cheeks heat slightly and he lets out the cutest little giggle before bringing his hand up and pushing his sunglasses up to rest on top of his head, finally revealing his eyes and I feel my heart speed up as I lock gazes with him, his eyes a beautiful shade of chocolaty brown.

I open my mouth to speak again but words seem to have left me completely and after opening and closing my mouth a few times I snap back into action and place my cigarette between my lips as a distraction. Frank continues to smile at me, a mischievous twinkle in his eye and he remains silent until I finally gather myself to speak again. "So how are you enjoying the tour?" I ask, happy that my mouth is now working with my brain again. "It's warped so it's hot and hectic but it's always a good time." I nod, having been to these shows in the past but never as a performer, always as a fan in the crowd. We fall silent for a few seconds and I take another drag of my cigarette before opening my mouth again to ask if he would like to hang out more later after our set but I don't get any words out before I notice the shadow of someone approaching us, both of us turning to see who it is and I see Pete Wentz walking across the field towards us.

"You okay Frankie?" He asks when he's a few steps away, his eyes shooting across to take me in, a wary look on his face before his attention turns back to Frank and he sinks down to sit right beside him as Frank says "Yeah I'm fine," leaning over to rest his head on Petes shoulder, Petes arm snaking around Franks waist and I feel a sliver of jealousy run through me, wishing it was my side he was leaning into, my arm around his waist and then I would just have to reach up a little with the other, lightly brush my fingers under his chin as I gently tilt his head up and then I could lean in and....

I'm snapped out of my thoughts by a loud throat clearing and when I refocus I see both Frank and Pete staring at me, Frank looking slightly bemused and Pete looking even more wary of me and Frank giggles softly as I feel my cheeks heat up before saying "As I was saying, Pete this is my friend Gerard, he's in My Chemical Romance and Gerard this is Pete." I can't help the smile that spreads across my lips at the fact that he called me his friend and he catches my eye and smiles back as Pete says "Oh right, I was going to catch your set yesterday but press ran overtime." I shake my head slightly as I say "You really didn't miss much" but Frank frowns and says "You guys were really great. You just need to all relax up there." I nod and smile in thanks before Pete stands up again and says "Well I better get back to the bus and get ready, we're on in an hour." Frank nods before saying "Yeah I think I've had enough sun for today," taking the hand Pete is offering, allowing himself to be pulled up before leaning back down and picking up his discarded cigarette butt. "So I guess I'll see you around" Frank says, shooting me a smile before pulling his sunglasses back down over his eyes and following Pete across the field towards the buses, Pete pausing to let him catch up and when I see his arm snake around Franks waist I feel that pang of jealousy flaring up in my stomach again as I exhale my last lungful of smoke.

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