Until I lived my life

Frank’s POV

“I want you two to be on your best behavior while I’m away and no annoying Frank.” Gerard said to Tallie and Ewan since he was going to his business meeting for 2 days and he left me in charge of the kids.
“We’ll be fine dad, stop fussing.” Tallie said and Gerard smiled at her which she returned and Gerard looked at me and I smiled at him as he turned round and walked upstairs to get his stuff.
“You really need to get into his pants because he really needs something.” Tallie said and I looked at her and frowned.
“I’m sure your father sex life really has nothing to do with you.” I said as I walked off and went upstairs and went to Gerard’s room who was packing the last of Whatever he needed.
“If I have to listen to your kids talking about your sex life for these 2 days I might have to shoot myself.” I said and Gerard chucked as he turned round to look at me.
“Ignore them, think they want us to get together.” Gerard said and I raised a eyebrow at him.
“Well I did offer my services last night but you turned me down.” I said and Gerard walked over to me and stood close to me.
“Get that tested and I’ll let you do what you want with me. Have fun with the kids.” Gerard said quietly as he kissed my cheek and walked off as he got his stuff and walked out the room.
I looked down and smiled to myself as I walked out of his room and went downstairs to catch Gerard saying goodbye to the kids and he looked at me and smiled.
“No trouble alright. There’s money on the side for a takeaway and I’ve even downloaded more films if you guys want to watch it and there is plenty of food in the fridge and cigarettes are on the side. Don’t go smoking them all Tallulah.” Gerard said and Tallie smiled.
“Alright mumma Bear think we can hold the fought for the night so don’t panic.” I said and Ewan looked at me and smiled.
“I’m a phone call away.” Gerard said as he picked his stuff up and walked over to the front door and looked at us and smiled as he walked out the door and once the door shut both Ewan and Tallie looked at me.
“Now what?” I asked and they both just smiled as they walked off.
“Please don’t be planning some creepy twin shit on me. I’m only little and have nothing to defend myself with.” I said after them and I sighed loudly as I grabbed a packet of cigarettes and went outside.
“This is going to be a long couple of days.” I said and I started to smoke a cigarette.

———————————————————————————————————————
I was sat in the sitting room minding my own business watching some crap on Netflix when Ewan and Tallie showed up.
“Do I have to feed you?” I asked and Ewan chuckled as he sat on the sofa with me and Tallie sat in Gerard’s spot on the sofa.
“Nope don’t have to feed us, but we are going to hog the tv to watch films of you care to join us.” Ewan said and I smiled as I surrendered the tv remote over to Ewan and I left them to fight over what film to watch while I went out for a cigarette.

I must of been out longer than what I should of been as both Tallie and Ewan both came outside.
“It’s a bit cold to be lying on the floor isn’t it Frank.” Ewan said and I blew the smoke out of my mouth.
“Not nothing I’m not used too.” I said as I sat up and looked at them both.
“Anyway, you guys was around when your dad dated someone, what was they like?” I asked and they both looked at each other and then back at me.
“The guy was a bastard and he almost took dad away from us.” Tallie said as she looked down.
“He was a cunt towards dad and he did unforgivable and unforgettable to him. You seen his scars haven’t you.” Ewan said and I nodded.
“The cunt did that to him. He would wait until we was at school to hurt dad.” Tallie said and I frowned at them.
“Don’t let dad know that we know but we know it made him relapse in drinking.” Ewan said and I nodded.
“It’s safe with me.” I said and they both smiled at me.
They both went inside and I got up off the floor and followed them inside.

“What was he like towards you two then?” I asked as we sat in the sitting room and Ewan looked at Tallie and she nodded.
“He was okay with us to start with, I mean we didn’t exactly like him and we told dad that and he just told us that he would grow on us but he never really did.” Ewan said as he looked down.
“He was okay with dad too, like he would bring flowers home for dad, he would cook us meals and he thought he loved dad for who dad is but we was really wrong about it.” Tallie said as I looked at her.
“Yeah So Dad is a little messed up, I mean he spent time on the streets did things he wasn’t proud off and was so off his face he barely knew what day of the week it was. Dad was at a hard time when he met the cunt and we both thought that the cunt would help dad get out of his little hole he was in but he didn’t, if anything he broke dad.” Tallie said as she looked down.
“What do you mean broke him?” I asked and Tallie looked at Ewan who shook his head at her.
“You’ll have to talk to dad about it. We just know the basics and I don’t think dad would want us to talk about it.” Tallie said and I smiled as I nodded.
“I understand.” I said and Tallie smiled as we focused on whatever she and Ewan was watching.
I got up and went out to the kitchen to make myself something to eat since Tallie and Ewan both said they could sort themselves out.

I was watching my food go round in the microwave when someone cleared their throat which made me jump and I looked to find Ewan watching me.
“Why are you so interested in dads past?” Ewan asked and I shrugged my shoulders.
“I’m a curious person and your father is like a closed book.” I said and Ewan frowned at me which I returned the frown.
“Maybe dad likes being a closed book.” Ewan said and I nodded.
“There is being a closed book and then there is your dad.” I said as I walked over to the fridge and looked for something to go with my food.
“He had his reasons, just like you probably do.” Ewan said and I chuckled.
“I’m a open book buddy.” I said as I turned round to look at him.
“Really? Can’t say that you are one.” Ewan said sarcastically.
“You do not want to start on me little boy alright.” I said seriously and Ewan rolled his eyes at me.
“If you are just going to use dad for his money and the fact he has welcomed you into our home then do yourself a favour and just get the fuck out of this house. Dad doesn’t need people like you in his life.” Ewan said and I gave him that to be honest.
“Well your in luck sweetheart, I don’t plan on using your dad for his money or using him for his kindness. So you done with the whole protective talk so I can eat my food in peace or what.” I said and Ewan just rolled his eyes.
“We will see.” Ewan said as he walked off and I got my food and I went outside to eat my food in peace.

I was lead on the floor looking up to the sky when someone came outside.
“It’s too cold to be lead on the floor.” Tallie said and I looked at her and smiled.
“Doesn’t bother me anymore.” I said quietly and Tallie sat on the swinging chair that was in the garden.
“Dad wouldn’t want you getting ill.” Tallie said and I shrugged my shoulders.
“Why would he care?” I asked and Tallie sighed.
“Dad cares a lot about you. I mean I haven’t seen him this happy since he first got with cunt face. You are bringing dad back to who he was before.” Tallie said and I sat up and looked at her.
“So I’ve got Ewan thinking I’m using your dad and then I’ve got you saying I’m bringing your dad back to how he was, which one is it?” I said and Tallie smiled.
“Ewan doesn’t trust people dad takes a interest after the cunt, but give him time and he’ll like you. As for I’m the one you have to watch out for.” Tallie said and I frowned at her because I was confused.
“Don’t worry, if I didn’t like you, you would know by now.” Tallie said and I just nodded.
“Don’t stay out here for too long, you’ll get ill.” Tallie said as she stood up as she walked inside.
“Christ who needs a grown up when your around.” I muttered to myself as I lead back down on the ground and looked up to the sky.

“Hey Frank, wake up dude.” Someone said and I woke up and saw Ewan looking at me and I groaned loudly as I sat up and looked at him.
“What?” I mumbled as I rubbed my eyes.
“It’s like 3 in the morning and it’s freezing cold out here.” Ewan said and I shrugged my shoulders as I lead back down again.
“Really don’t care and it’s something I used too.” I said quietly as I got myself comfy on the floor.
“And dad would kill us if you get ill.” Ewan said and I sighed as I rolled over so my back was now to him.
“And again, I don’t care.” I mumbled as I slowly fell back asleep again.
“Fine, if you don’t want to come in I’ll get you a pillow and a blanket, will that be alright?” Ewan said and I just mumbled as I got comfy again.
A couple of minutes later Ewan had come back again.
“I’m just going to lift your head up a second.” Ewan said and I felt my head being lifted up and then something soft was now under my head and then something being out over my body.
“The back door is unlocked okay. Come inside when your ready.” Ewan said and I just sighed as I fell into a somewhat of a deep sleep.

———————————————————————————————————————
“Not only was he meant to be keeping an eye on you two but you two was meant to make sure the dumbass doesn’t spend the night in the cold.” I heard Gerard say as I slowly woke up.
“I wasn’t going to argue with him at 3 in the morning so I got him a blanket and a pillow and I made sure the back door was unlocked so he could come in when he wanted to come in.” Ewan said.
“Then you should of picked him up and brought him in.” Gerard said.
“Dad he is solid and fucking heavy, no offence to Frank but I’m not picking that heavy bastard up.” Ewan said and I moved slightly which made everyone stop talking and as I opened my eyes I had everyone looking at me.
“What?” I sniffed as I coughed and straight away I knew that spending the night outside wasn’t the best idea I had.
“It’s nothing, go make Frank a drink yeah.” Gerard said and Ewan walked out the room and Gerard sat on the sofa and looked at me.
“You’re a bloody dumbass you know that right.” Gerard said and I sat up and looked down and messed with the blanket.
“I’m sorry.” I said quietly as Ewan walked in and he put my drink on the coffee table then left me and Gerard alone.
“Don’t bloody do it again okay, also I’m taking you to the doctors tomorrow to get you looked over.” Gerard said and I looked at him.
“I’ll be fine, I don’t need to be checked by the doctor.” I said and Gerard rolled his eyes at me.
“You need a health check mister.” Gerard said as he stood up and as he walked past he stopped and lent down.
“Also if you want to get your dick near me, you need to get it tested.” Gerard whispered in my ear and then he walked off again and I sighed loudly as I rolled over so I was facing the back of the sofa and I went back to sleep again.

“You can choose what we eat, but I’m not cooking that’s for sure.” I heard Gerard say again but this time I could feel the vibration on him talking which was strange.
“Chinese?” Tallie said and Ewan groaned loudly.
“We always have Chinese, why not some Indian or whatever.” Ewan said.
“I don’t eat Indian.” Gerard said and everyone sighed loudly.
“Look there’s some money in my wallet, who ever is getting Chinese get me and Frank a set meal of whatever and then you can have your Chinese and Ewan can have a Indian there that’s that sorted.” Gerard said and I heard them both leave and that’s when I opened my eyes and came face to face with Gerard’s chest and I felt him resting either the remote or his phone on my side.
I moved slightly and I felt a hand on my back.
“Careful.” Gerard said and I looked up and saw I still wrapped in the blanket.
“Why are you cuddling me?” I asked sleepily as I rolled onto my back and Gerard sat up and he went to move but I stopped him when I realised why he was cuddling me.
I sat up and then moved and cuddled back into his side.
“Will you go to the doctors tomorrow?” Gerard asked and I nodded as I rested my head on his shoulder and pretty much wrapped myself round him.
“Yeah I’ll go.” I said quietly still feeling really cold.
“Here, have someone of this, it’ll help warm you up.” Gerard said as he lent forward and I got hold of this mug and just nursed it as I slowly drank the drink which did warm me up a little but not as much as cuddling Gerard was warming me.
“So the kids are getting us Chinese if that’s okay with you.” Gerard said and I nodded.
“Yeah that’s good with me.” I said quietly as I watched whatever Gerard was watching.

After we had eaten Gerard had gone upstairs to have a shower and I just moved and went upstairs as well since I couldn’t be dealing with Ewan and Tallie’s questions.
I was lead in bed lost inside my head when I heard someone knocked on my door and I rolled over and saw Gerard standing there in some shorts.
“You still cold?” Gerard asked and I just shrugged my shoulders and I rolled back over so my back was too him.
I heard Gerard shut the door and walked over and sat on my bed.
“Hey, you okay?” Gerard asked and I shook my head.
“What’s the matter?” Gerard asked as he walked round the bed and then he lead on my bed and faced me.
“Maybe I’m better to go back on the streets.” I whispered and Gerard frowned at me.
“Why do you feel like you need to be on the streets?” Gerard asked and I looked at him and I just let my emotions get the better of me.
“Because everything here is too perfect. You are being really kind and caring and what if it all just an act so you can get into my pants.” I ranted as I felt some tears roll down my cheek.
“Well if I know correctly you’re the one who wants in my pants and all you have to do is just get tested if your clear then I might think about it. Maybe everything seems perfect because you have fitted in really well with this family. The kids like you and I like you and that is all what you should worry about is if the kids like you because they both will let you know if they don’t like you.” Gerard said as he reached out and wiped the tear which was rolling down my cheek away.
“You’re not going back to the streets okay, this is your home now.” Gerard said and I looked at him.
I lent forward and kissed Gerard and I pulled back as I looked down but Gerard lifted my chin up so I was now looking at him and he lent forward and kissed me which I returned and I was the one who back and I looked at Gerard who smiled at me.
“I hope you choose to stay.” Gerard said quietly as he moved from the bed and walked out of my room and I guessed he went to his room.
I left it for about an hour when I got out of bed and I went to Gerard room and I walked into find Gerard in bed with the tv on.
I walked over and climbed into the bed and I heard Gerard sigh loudly like he was asleep and he rolled over and wrapped his arm around me and for the first time in a while I felt like I was actually wanted here and the Gerard actually cared for me.
I settled down and I let myself fall asleep to the sound of the tv and feeling safe in Gerard’s arms.

———————————————————————————————————————
“See it’s not that bad now you are here.” Gerard as we sat in the doctors surgery after saying to Gerard that I would go to the doctors since I was still feeling like shit after spending all night outside.
“Still don’t understand why I am here.” I muttered and Gerard chuckled.
“Need to get you checked over.” Gerard said and I just rolled my eyes and sighed loudly acting like a child which made Gerard chuckle.
My name got called and I looked at Gerard.
“Want me to come in with you?” Gerard asked and I thought about it and nodded since I haven’t been near the doctors since my mother died.
“Okay, come on then.” Gerard said as we both got up and went to see the doctor.

We walked into the office and straight away I just wanted to turn and Gerard picked that up and he placed a hand behind my back and gently push me in the office and I sat on the bed while Gerard sat on the chair.
“Mr Way what can I do to help you.” The doctor said as she looked at Gerard.
“My friend here needs a complete health check.” Gerard said casually.
“He also was stupid enough to spend a night outside 3 nights ago while I was away.” Gerard said and I looked down when the doctor looked at me and he got up and walked over to me.
“Take your jacket and jumper off for me please.” The doctor said and I took my jacket and jumper off and the doctor done some stuff and then he asked me questions.
“Have you got a history of drugs?” The doctor asked.
“Yes, I took drugs for 6 years and I’m now like a year or so sober.” I said and the doctor nodded.
“History with alcohol?” The doctor asked.
“Yep, same amount of time as the drugs and the same amount of time sober. Although I can still drink but I’m in a good place so I know not to go back down that road again.” I said as I swung my legs from the bed.
“History of being on the streets?” The doctor asked.
“Yep, also worked the streets and sold myself.” I said as I looked down.
“So you want to have a whole health check?” The doctor asked.
“I guess.” I said and the doctor nodded as they did what they had to do.
“Okay so I’ll send everything off and call you for the results, also you do sound like you have a bit of a chest infection so I’m going to prescribe you with some antibiotics.” The doctor said and I nodded as I took the prescription and I walked over to Gerard and we picked my antibiotics up and we went home.

“I’ve done what you wanted me to do.” I said and Gerard smiled as he put a mug of coffee in front of me.
“Yes you have.” Gerard said as he frowned at his laptop as we was both sat round the island.
“You want a job?” Gerard asked and I frowned at him.
“How can you trust me after I nearly stole from you. I mean that fancy pants lady doesn’t like me.” I said and Gerard chuckled as he closed the laptop down.
“You’ll learn to ignore her, as for trust you, I’ve trusted you in my home and I have trust you with my children. You haven’t stole from me and I know you wouldn’t dream of stealing from me. The kids like you a lot and you coped with my stubborn two.” Gerard said as he walked round the island and stood close to me.
“And I also like you a lot so yeah.” Gerard said as he walked off and I just watched him and I couldn’t help but look down and smile.
Gerard walked back out to the kitchen and looked for his keys and when he found them he picked them up and looked at me.
“You staying?” Gerard asked and I nodded.
“Okay, Tell the kids I’m at one of the clubs.” Gerard said as he walked out and I nodded as I grabbed my cigarettes and went outside and had a cigarette.

I was sat on the sofa watching tv with Tallie and Ewan when Gerard came back and he came in and sat with us.
“What shit are you guys watching?” Gerard asked as he got comfy and turned as he put his feet on me and I just rested my hands on his legs.
“Whatever she put on.” Ewan said and Tallie looked at us all.
“Either you change the channel or you watch this in your room.” Gerard said and Tallie frowned at us all.
“Seriously so your all pulling the guy power in this one?” Tallie asked.
“Yep.” Me, Gerard and Ewan all said together and Tallie sighed loudly as she gave the remote to Ewan and he found we all wanted to watched and we watched this film.
Tallie and Ewan left me and Gerard alone and I was just miles away inside my head as I messed with Gerard’s leg hair.
“You okay?” Gerard asked and I nodded as I sighed and Gerard moved and he cuddled into my side which made me smile.
“Yeah I’m okay, just deep in thought about some stuff.” I said quietly as I rested my head against his as I looked down and saw Gerard had linked his arm round mine.
“Want to talk about it?” Gerard asked and I shook my head.
“Just some memories that’s all.” I whispered and Gerard moved and he kissed my neck which made me move my head to the side slightly as Gerard carried on kissing my neck and nipping it every so often.
“You start this, you have to finish it.” I said and Gerard chuckled as he stood up and he looked at me and I frowned at him.
“Okay that was mean off me.” Gerard said and I smiled as I got up as well.
“I’m sure mouth and hands work just as well.” I said with a smirk and Gerard rolled his eyes at me.
Ewan came in and he frowned at me and Gerard as he backed out the room.
“When the kids aren’t home.” Gerard said as he walked off.
“Not fair to leave a guy hanging.” I said and Gerard ignored me as he walked to his office and I sighed as I followed him to the office.

“You know, if your just scare about..” I said but I stopped myself when I saw Gerard looking lost and broken and that’s when I spotted a tear rolling down his cheek.
“Hey what’s the matter?” I asked softly and Gerard sniffed as he looked at me and quickly wiped the tears away.
“It’s nothing okay.” Gerard said quietly and I walked over to his desk and lent against the desk and I went to reach to gently get him to look at me when I noticed him flinch slightly.
“This is something Gee.” I said softly and Gerard shook his head as he looked away from me.
“The kids told me about your ex, they didn’t go into detail about it but they told me he wasn’t nice towards you.” I said and Gerard looked at me and he looked worried.
“Whatever they do know, they didn’t tell me. They just told me to ask you any questions.” I said and Gerard sighed as he went to look away from me but I stopped him and I lent forward and kissed him softly which after a couple of seconds Gerard returned the kiss.
“I’m here when you want to talk about it or if you just want to talk about anything.” I said softly and Gerard sighed quietly as he looked down.
“My ex was a horrible man who did stuff when the kids weren’t around.” Gerard said as he looked at me and I smiled softly at him.
“If you don’t want to open up anymore then I understand.” I said and Gerard nodded as he stood up and walked towards the door and he looked at me.
“If you want to follow me and do something then you can.” Gerard said as he smiled at me which I returned and walked over to Gerard as I caught hold of his hand and I pushed Gerard against the door frame and I kissed him which he returned.
“Upstairs.” I whispered and Gerard nodded as we both went upstairs and into Gerard’s room.

Notes