Desolation Row

This is my world, I’m not exactly sure what a Visual Director does vs a Costume Designer but I’ve combined them for the sake of story. I understand that not all My Chem is about coffee – but again in MY world, in this story they all love it. I do not own My Chemical Romance as a collective nor do I own them individually. The original character and story line are MINE. This begins with the original character’s POV but switches up somewhat. Enjoy!
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It all started with a chance meeting with Zack. I was working in his office and he was putting together the soundtrack for Watchmen. I had been listening to my favorite band when he walked in and collapsed in a chair with a huff. “I need one more track to close the movie. I’m thinking another Dylan song but I don’t want Dylan to do it. What do you think something upbeat?”
“I know the band you need. My Chemical Romance, Gerard loves Watchmen and I bet they’d do it. It needs to be in the style of The Ramones or Sex Pistols, don’t you think? Early 80’s punk, the video could be something like the band is playing down the street from Vieidt Enterprises; like it’s in the movie but not. You know?”
“YES!” he jumped up excited. “Do you know the band?”
“No, not at all, just a fan.”
“Well get my secretary to get in contact with them and set a meeting for me.”
“O-okay will do.”
Today we will have our first meeting about the video. In 20 minutes I’ll be face to face with MCR. My hands are shaking and I can feel heat radiating off me. I need to calm down; I can’t let them see me in this state. I can’t meet him like this….a sweating, shaking mess.
18 minutes later….
Zack leads the four rock stars into the conference room. I take a deep breath as I will myself not to pass out or worse say something stupid. Gerard is already laughing at something Zack said and Zack motions for them to take a seat. Our 4 staff members, assistants and directors, take their seats as the boys make their way in the room. I see him for the first time; he’s behind Frank who’s behind Gerard.
Oh my God he’s so, so HOT. There stands Ray Toro in the doorway, his wild curly hair tucked behind his ear. He’s wearing black faded jeans, a black t-shirt and a dark blue leather jacket. Mikey is right behind him on his phone. Something about Ray’s lips and his hands and the way he plays, my God I can get excited from listening to his guitar solos alone. I try not to stare and I move to my seat only bumping two coworkers on the way. I take my place across from Zack. Gerard is next to Zack with Frank next to him; Ray is on Zack’s left with Mikey next to him still on his phone. Zack makes the introductions, like they would remember any of our names, come on Zack they are Rock STARS. Oh I’m fangirling out a little. They boys all say hello to each person. When Zack introduces me, my eye catches Ray’s. I blush to the roots of my hair, he smiled at me. Suddenly my notes are the most interesting words ever written as I can’t seem to look up from them. My God, Ray looked at me. And smiled.His smile can light up my world.Bury me now, I’m dead. As Zack and Gerard fire ideas at each other I sketch Ray in my notebook. Carefully stealing glances as Zack rambles on; each time Ray speaks my eyes dart up to his sweet face. His voice is so melodic. When he laughs I want to cry it’s so perfect. I continue my secret fan girling moment, drawing his face, flipping a page drawing his hands, flipping a page drawing his mouth, page flip. I was drawing faster and louder then I realized. I felt eyes on me and I realized the room was quiet. I look around. Gerard and Frank are smiling at me. Zack is waiting for me to say something. The other staff looks annoyed and bored.
“I-I’m sorry. Did I miss something?” I said to Zack weakly. He laughs and the band joins in; now I’m the butt of some joke I missed completely. Great.
“I asked if I could see your sketches.” Gerard repeats smiling.
“What?!” I clutched my notebook to my chest, no fucking way Way. Ha I crack myself up, but hell no.
“Zack said this was all your vision and that you were going to be the Visual Director.”
“Show them what you had in mind, what we discussed.” Zack adds.
“Oh, THOSE sketches. Uh yeah, okay sure.” I pull the drawings from the folder in front of me and hand them to the assistant to distribute. Each guy now has a stack of 6 pictures; a drawing of them as a group and an individual drawing of each band member. Each individual sketch shows them in an outfit with accessories. I had intentionally left faces blank but you could tell each one by their hair and instruments. Truth was I have about 4 notebooks full of pictures of Ray with full details; I couldn’t do rough sketches of the band and some glorious full portrait of Ray. I might as well write Ray’s groupie on my forehead. Right?
“So are we the Sex Pistols?” Frank asks.
“No, but you aren’t My Chem either.” Zack answers.
“Yeah, we’re some grimey punk band from the UK, right?” Gerard adds.
“I like it so what’s the story?” Ray asks looking to Zack. Who then motions to me for answers. Damn him, any other time he’d be holding court and happy to talk. They all turn and look at me. I clear my throat.
“Um okay so yeah.” I can’t meet Ray’s eye ‘because I can’t think when he is looking at me. Mikey is still on his phone, Bob isn’t here and Frank is looking from me to Ray to Zack. So I talk to Gerard. “You are you guys from the Watchmen timeline; a UK punk band similar to the Sex Pistols and The Ramones. The club sells out and you play, fans riot, SWAT is called in and you’re all arrested. Complete with storming the stage and slamming you onto the hood of the cars and ultimately throwing you all in a paddy wagon and it’s all set in Watchmen’s New York City.”
“Nice!” Ray says.
“Sounds Rad.” Frank adds.
“I love it!” Gerard beams.
“Zack of course will throw in some Easter Eggs for the movie.” I sit back in my seat kinda proud that I didn’t pass out or scream RAY I LOVE YOU in the middle.
“Oh yeah on that, any chance of seeing any movie footage?” Gerard asks Zack.
“Nope, sorry.” Zack says simply.
“Told ya.” Ray says and I laugh. He looks at me and smiles. I blush. Gerard pouts.
“I’ll get everything set to shoot and you guys can talk to your visual director about ideas for your look.” He motions in my direction and leaves.
What?! Zack didn’t tell me he was leaving me ALONE with them. WTF Zack! Everyone leaves the room but me, Gerard, Frank, Mikey and Ray. I can’t bring myself to move closer to their end of the table for fear of doing something stupid like tripping and falling on my face. So I stay put. I try to look like I’m getting organized when I’m really panicking.
At the opposite end of the table, the three gentlemen look at each other, then to you. Frank shrugs his shoulders. Ray motions his head like ‘we should move’. Mikey taps away on his phone. Gerard stands, grabs his stuff and moves down to your end of the table, the boys follow his lead.
“So. I really like your ideas. Can we talk about each band member individually?” Gerard says sitting to your left. Frank again, sits next to Gee and Ray is now on your right.
“Maybe she wants to run her own meeting Gerard, give her a chance to speak.” Mikey chimes in from the other end of the table still not looking up from his phone.
“It lives!” Frank jokes.
“Perhaps you’d like to join the rest of us down here Michael.”
“Perhaps you’d like to kiss my ass GERARD.”
“Come on guys,” Ray starts.
“Leave it Ray.” Frank says obviously siding with Gerard in whatever is going on at the moment.
“Uh, how about some coffee? I think most of you guys like coffee, right? Or would that make things worse?” Well crap, I lost all confidence in one sentence. By the end I’m sure no one heard me.
“Coffee? Fuck yes, thank GOD someone here is hospitable.” Mikey says finally joining the conversation and moving seats.
“Yeah, coffee would be nice.” Gerard agrees.
Thank God, they agree on something. I buzz my assistant and place the most complicated order of my coffee ordering life. Who the hell knew that four guys could be such coffee aficionados? The coffee arrives to cheers of joy.
“If we are going to look at each look then let’s look at Mikey first.”
Gerard nearly chokes on his coffee. “Why Mikey first?”
“Why Not?!” Mikey pops back.
Frank places a hand on Gerard’s arm to stop him from spouting off another quip. “I just thought I finally have Mikey’s attention, let’s not lose it.”
Ray laughs and Mikey smiles.
“That was a dig on you, you know.” Frank leans across the table telling Mikey.
“Yeah, but well played and deserved.” Mikey replies.
“So Mikey, I’m thinking very Sid Vicious. The lock around the neck, the chain; a very stylized version of you; this is another version of Earth, one where the sex pistols don’t exist. So YOU are the coolest baddest bass player in this world.”
“Yeah, cool, I like it. I’m good.” Mikey goes back to sipping coffee and surfing his phone.
I shrug and move on to the next sketch. Frank. “So Frank, any suggestions or changes?”
“Nah, I’m digging the whole video vibe.”
“Okay, great. So we can move on t-“
“Wait, I have a few things.” Gerard interrupts.
Ray leans back in his seat and I can see Mikey roll his eyes. I just look to Gerard. “Sure, Gerard. Whatcha got?”
“Why is Frankie the only one in Converse? I think he’s the one who should wear the chain and lock. What if we all have been in a fight recently? You know with like, injuries and bruises and stuff?”
“Wow, good stuff. Okay.” I write down his ideas and add. “Frank has chains on his jacket and also as a belt, so I thought the slave chain might be a bit much. On Mikey it’s homage to Sid, you see. But nothing here is etched in stone. The Converse thing, well I guess I hadn’t realized I put you three in boots. So we can change it to boots, it’s whatever you guys want I’m just here to make sure we stay in the Watchmen universe.”
“Why is Ray the only one in white?” Frank asks looking up from the sketches.
“Uh I’m sorry, what?” I ask fear taking a hold of me. Don’t panic, don’t panic.
“Yeah I noticed that too.” Gerard adds.
Well fuck, how do I explain this without sounding like a schoolgirl with a crush? I can feel everyone’s eyes on me, especially Ray.
“I,” my voice cracks. I clear my throat and try again. “You see – uh well”
“What fucking difference does it make?” Mikey interrupts finishing his coffee. “Is there more coffee?”
“Oh sure,” I buzz for another coffee for my new savior Mikey Way. I’m beginning to really appreciate his saving my ass.
“I do wear a lot of black, I like it.” Ray says quietly and I can’t help but look into his beautiful brown eyes. “You look great. I promise.” I say before realizing my mistake.
He smiles at me. “I’m sure I will.”
I’m a moron. He knows I’m a moron and now he knows I’m in love with him. Stupid!
“Okay, can we move on?” Gerard asks once everyone has another coffee. “I like what I’m seeing but I’m thinking black eyes, maybe some stiches, bandages, you know we’re a tough band. We’ve been in battle. Also I want shredded jeans, like really holy. We gotta look like we’ve been in the club scene for ages. “
“The instruments are all worn and tattered.” I add trying to get a few words in edgewise. He’s a talented fuck but damn Gee is a diva!
Two hours later they leave. I’m exhausted and I have half a notebook of notes from Gerard. Gerard was kind, just enthusiastic. He hugged me as they left and said he’d email me more ideas. Frank was funny and it’s so obvious Frerard is real. He wouldn’t shake my hand without a glance to Gerard first. Gerard wants to collar Frank for Christ’s sake. I mean come on! Mikey is quite salty and it’s hysterical. And Ray, well, he’s just an absolute doll. If I wasn’t crushing on him before, I am now. He was kind and sweet and smiled a lot. He tried to hug me as they left but I screwed it up by trying to shake his hand and it became so awkward that Mikey finally pushed him out of the door shaking his head.
Over the next few weeks Gerard emails me almost daily with ideas, he asks for new sketches and finally when I set the deadline that I have to start having clothing made he concedes that everything looks fine. I compromise by having a few different options ready for him to choose from, freaking diva. Due to some other appearances by the band, I’ll be seeing them in costume on day one. This should be interesting.
Day One of Shooting
Today we start shooting. I'm going to see the guys in clothes I picked out for them. It's going to be the performance scenes today. I'm nervous to see Ray again. I sip my second venti coffee and my hands are shaking. I'm sitting on a table swinging my feet like a child eager to see her favorite band, their coffees next to me. God I've got to chill.
The door opens and the guys come in. Gerard first followed by Frank naturally then Mikey, Ray and Bob. "Hey guys I've got coffee."
"I love you" Mikey says as he grabs his coffee from the table.
"Thanks" Frank says grabbing his and Gerard's.
Gerard takes a sip and says, "Did you get my ideas for the black eye?"
"Yes Gerard it's all set"
I pick up Rays coffee as he walks to me. My hand is shaking as he takes the cup. His fingers brush mine and I sigh. "This was really sweet of you. Thanks." He smiles and my heart melts. I can't help myself I know I'm staring at Ray but damn he looks so fine.
Mikey clears his throat loudly and I come back to Earth. "I said what do we do now?"
"Oh uh, well there's a screen over there. The clothes are labeled, you get dressed and I'll give you your accessories and then you uh, go shoot a video?"
"You sure about that?" Franks asks with a smile and a glance to Gerard. Gerard nods and smiles back at him.
Fuck am I that transparent? I must be embarrassing Ray.
They file over behind the screens and I hear their comments as they change, and the sound of ripping.
"Gerard?" Franks says.
"Whoops" I hear Gerard reply.
"For Christ's sake Gerard, your dick is gonna be on display.” Mikey
I hear Ray and Bob laughing.
Frank walks out putting his jacket on "Uh I think we have a problem” Bob walks behind him giggling.
"What's that?" I ask, knowing what he’s going to say.
Mikey steps out holding his jacket. "Gerard is trying to show his dick off again."
Ray is there looking adorable holding his jacket and laughing
"Jesus Gerard. I had the holiest jeans possible made for you. What more do you need?"
"Well uh it was an accident really” he replies from behind the screen.
"Sure, good thing I'm prepared." I grab the black and white spandex pants from my bag and throw it over the screen. "Wear these under the jeans"
"Spandex? What the fuck?" Gerard replies. The guys giggle.
"Hey its 1985, they were all the rage for the hair metal bands."
"But we’re punk" Gerard whines.
"Jesus, even the sex pistols didn't show their junk on stage Gerard. Just wear them!" Mikey yells.
The boys are laughing hysterically now. I hear Gerard huff from behind the screen.
"Okay Frank come here." I place his slave chain around his neck. Turns out Gerard was adamant that Frank have one. I give him his belt and then wave to Mikey. He steps up and I give him the same style chain. "You know it's a little weird for you two to both have these. Mikey, do you want to wear something else?"
"Nah, I'm Sid Vicious. Fuck 'em” He takes the belt and puts it on.
Bob steps up quietly, still giggling over Gerard and I say, “You’re good, Gerard said you wouldn’t want any bracelets or accessories to interfere with your drumming.” He replies, “Thanks.”
"Okay. What about you Mr. Attention Whore? You dressed yet? "
Gerard comes out pulling at the spandex covering his crotch. "This shit is tight, my junk is being squished."
"Stop telling everyone you have a big dick." Mikey says finishing his coffee.
"Just think how great you will look." Frank adds and I can see Gerard smile.
Oh yeah there is something going on there. I think to myself.
"You guys can go into makeup." Mikey and Frank leave with Bob.
I hand Gerard the glove he wanted and he follows Frank out the door leaving me alone with Ray. I did NOT plan this, I swear.
"So uh what now?" Ray asks shyly.
"I have a belt for you." I turn and hand it to him he puts it on and I zone out on how the white shirt glows next to his natural Puerto Rican skin tone. He puts his jacket on and looks at me.
"Well?"
"You're perfect” I say and immediately slam my hand over my mouth and blush.
"I doubt that." he says looking himself over.
Christ he doesn't know how gorgeous he is, how can that be?!
“Well actually I think you need this one too. “
In a burst of confidence I reach around him and place the chain belt on him just below the studded one. I can smell his cologne and my hands are inches away from crotch as I place the belt around his hips. My hands still shaking as I buckle it. I step back and look at him.
"Fuck" I whisper without realizing it.
He smiles at me and asks, "I guess that's good right?"
"Uh, did I say that out loud?"
"Yeah you kinda did." He steps closer to me and I step back and bump the table.
He smiles and laughs at me. I blush again. Bob opens the door and says, "Ray? You gonna join us today?"
We break eye contact and Ray says, "Yeah I'll be right there"
"You've been in here for half an hour. They want to start."
"Fuck really?" Ray looks back to me and shrugs.
“You look great, go have fun.” I smile at him.
“Thanks” And with that he heads out the door and just want to die. I think he was flirting with me or was it my imagination? God, he’s so cute and I just want to hug him. I bet he gives great hugs, the kind that swallow you up, make you feel safe and loved. And I totally wouldn’t grab his ass. I’m lost in my daydream of hugging and snuggling the lead guitar player when an assistant director rushes in and says, “Zack wants you on set.”
“What?” I ask trying to shake off the idea of grabbing Ray’s ass. “Why?” I’m basically just the costume designer, set dresser, whatever. They are dressed, my work is done.
“Ask him.” He says and leaves.
MEANWHILE IN THE MAKEUP ROOM AND ON STAGE
“I’m telling you now she’s in love with Ray.” Frank is saying to Gerard as they are in the makeup room.
“Nah, she’s just nice. I like her.” He replies.
“I like her too and I’m telling you its LOVE. Bet you they go out.”
“Out? Like what a date? How much you wanna bet?”
“Usual bet, and yeah a date, he’s probably asking her now.”
“You’re on.” Gerard replies admiring his new black eye. “This video is gonna be epic.”
“You are so gay, baby.” Frank replies with a smile.
“Oh God, please kill me now!” Mikey replies from his chair. “It’ll never happen, he’s too shy and she won’t ask him. So there you go.”
“Maybe he just needs a friend to encourage him.” Bob says quietly.
“Yeah, go encourage his ass to get in here! They want us on set now.” Gerard says pulling Frank out of his chair by his collar and dragging him towards the stage.
“Was that necessary?” Mikey asks Bob as they witness the Frerard display.
“No Mikey, not at all.” He replies and they both laugh.
“Dorks” Mikey says.
Ray was the last one in makeup and alone in the room. “Uh, I’m late. Sorry, what do I need to do?” He asked the stylist.
“Oh just have a seat here Mr. Toro. I have my instructions, this won’t take long.”
“Instructions?” Ray asks sitting down.
“Oh yes, our Visual Director had very specific instructions for each of you.”
“Call me Ray. Really? I’d like to hear them.”
“She said we shouldn’t talk to you guys about random things. Not to bug you with fan stuff, no asking questions, no gossiping, speak only if spoken to and of course the looks. Lots of eyeliner for Gerard, the black eye of course, stitches, etc. Mikey it was about the hair, sleek shiny, perfection, accent and highlights…”
“So what’s MY look?” Ray asks suspiciously.
“Oh she was very specific for you. Accent the eyes, but don’t go overboard with the eyeliner. A few highlights but that you have great features and need nothing to be perfect. And make the curls and his hair shine.”
“Huh” Was Ray’s only reply.
ON STAGE
Bob walks up to join Gerard, Frank and Mikey on stage. “So where is he?” Gerard asks.
“He’s in makeup now.” Bob replies.
“Where did you find him?” Frank asks giving Gerard a knowing smirk.
“Still in the dressing room.” Bob says moving behind the drum kit.
“And what was happening?” Frank asks again.
Bob smiles and shakes his head. “Honestly, I’m not sure. They were just standing there and like staring at each other. I almost expected those pulsing hearts to pop out of their eyes. It was SO high school crush shit. I don’t know what the fuck.”
“Bob, that’s the least sense you’ve ever made. And we all know you NEVER make sense.” Mikey says sitting on the drum riser.
“I KNEW it! It’s love.” Frank says triumphantly.
“Bullshit!” Gerard fires back. “No talking means no one got asked anywhere. You are about to lose this bet.”
Frank looks worried for a second. “Fuck that! He just needs a little coaching from the dating Gods. I got this.”
“That’s cheating Frank!” Gerard says pushing Frank, and he stumbles back a few steps. “You can’t say anything to him. Nothing.”
“Fine. I’ve still got this.” Frank responds confidently.
Ray finally walks on stage with his guitar and joins the boys. “What’s going on?” He asks innocently.
“You tell us Casanova.” Bob retorts.
Ray looks slightly embarrassed.
Frank steps up. “Hey what can I say? It’s obvious the chic digs me.”
Gerard says, “What?"
Ray says, "What?"
Mikey says, “What?”
Bob says, “What?”
"You heard me. She totally wants me. I think I'll ask her out."
"WHAT?!" Ray says again stunned.
"Asshole" Gerard comments knowing what Frank was up to.
"That's really shitty Frank" Mikey says.
“WHAT? If two people are interested in each other shouldn't one ask the other for a date? Am I right Ray? "
"Uh well yeah but..." Ray starts.
"But what?" Frank asks pressing him. “Does anyone else here like her?”
Ray looks at the guys and they are all looking at him waiting. "But I think she likes Me." he says quietly.
“But you don’t like her, right? I mean I can ask her to get freaky and naughty, in that order right?”
Frank smiles and looks at Gerard. Gerard frowns.
"You gonna do something about it?" Bob asks.
“Don’t help Bob, you stay out of this!” Gerard says before he can stop himself.
Ray looks at the boys confused. “What is with you guys today? You are all acting really weird and why can’t Bob help?”
“Well you see the thing is man I think you should ask our Visual Director out for a date. There I said it.” Frank says happy with himself and glaring at Gerard for almost letting the bet slip. “I was just trying to push you into saying you like her without being Captain Obvious over there.” Motioning to Bob.
“Uh huh, suuurrre.” Ray replies.
“I don’t think you should ask her out. She’s a business associate and we never mix business and pleasure. That’s just not what we do.” Gerard lies and hopes someone buys what he’s selling.
“Okay I can see part of that argument but that’s Bullshit! You and Frank are –“
“We are just GOOD friends, Ray. Everyone knows that.”
“You’re an asshole Gerard, that’s what you are AND a hypocrite!” Mikey chimes in.
“Wait a minute; this is getting out of hand.” Bob interjects.
“Do you like this girl Ray?” Frank asks.
“Yeah, I do. I think I really do.”
“Then ignore the assholes and do what you want.” Bob says.
“Besides they are just involved because they-“Mikey starts.
“Michael!” Gerard shouts and at the same time Frank yells, “Don’t!”
Ray is seriously wondering what the hell is going on. “They what? You know what, forget it. Just fuck you guys, I get it. Let’s mess with Ray again, it’s old. Real old.”
“No it’s not that at all. Really Ray” Gerard starts, “it’s stupid, yes but not mean spirited.”
“I bet Gerard that you and our pretty Visual Director would go out on a date. I think she REALLY likes you and you said you like her…..so?”
“And you said what? That’d she’d say no?” Ray asks Gerard.
“Uh well actually I didn’t phrase it that way; I think it was closer to uh…”
“You are stalling. Asshole.” Ray says starting to get mad.
“Oh can’t we just get to work? Gerard said you were to shy and she wouldn’t ask you. So no one gets a date. Where the hell is the director?” Mikey his usual salty self just tells it like it is.
“Wow, thanks Gerard. Thanks for the vote of confidence.” Ray says half sarcastically, half real hurt emotion.
“Dude, it was just a stupid comment. I didn’t mean it.” Gerard says, “WAIT, I didn’t even say IT! Mikey did!”
“Ignore them, listen to me.” Frank steps up and grabs Ray’s arm. “She has had eyes for only you from the moment we walked in Zack’s office. She’s got it bad. She stares at you man like you’re a tomato. I promise you will barely get the words out and she will be yours.”
“Nice visual Frank, I don’t think I’d like being compared to a vegetable. “ Bob says shaking his head at the smaller man.
“I’m a vegetarian, I’m not gonna say pork chop! I hate those. Tomatoes are good, they are sexy, juicy, round and they work in every food dish.”
“What? Is that like some kind of food porn?” Mikey asks.
“Just stop, I’ll think about it. Okay?” Ray says tired of being the center of attention. Zack appears on stage and the band members step away from each other “Everything good, feeling good, ready to go?” He asks enthusiastically.
The guys tentative from their heavy discussion put on a professional face and agree. “What is it? Is it the costumes? You don’t like the instruments? Not all the extras are here yet because we don’t need the room full to start. Martha!” He screams at a passing Assistant Director, “Get my Visual Director up here now!”
Realizing their actions have been misinterpreted they all start speaking at one.
“NO! It’s really not that, the costumes are great!” Ray says first.
“She took every one of my suggestions and made them better!” Gerard seconds trying to make up to Ray and explain his happiness to Zack.
“I’m digging the instruments.” Bob adds.
“Everything is rad, I love it.” Frank says.
“We need MORE coffee, that’s all.” Mikey finishes saving the day.
“YES!” the remaining four scream simultaneously.
“As long as everyone is happy with their look, or else it’ll read through. I want you guys energetic and vicious and fierce!”
When I get to the set, I see the guys with their instruments on the stage. They look great. Zack is on the stage with the guys giving direction. I wade through the extras/concert attendees and find myself in the front of the stage. “Zack? You needed me for something?”
He looks at me and smiles. He never smiles at me.
“What’s going on?”
“Yeah, hang on a second.” He says to me and turns to the AD who came looking for me, “Get these guys some Starbucks!”
As he walks to me, I’m thinking. My mind is racing actually. More like a spastic bunny on crack maybe. The guys don’t like the outfits. Someone in makeup blabbed that I’m crushing on Ray. Ray noticed I was crushing on him and doesn’t like it or me. Ray thinks I’m a crazy stalker. Gerard hates how I morphed his ideas into something coherent. HE’S a spastic bunny on crack! Bob feels slighted because I got him plain coffee this morning not knowing his favorite order, but I got every kind of creamer and sugar he could possibly want to choose from and had it waiting. Maybe he hates cream and sugar?
Zack turns to me and says, “The guys really love you and what you’ve done so far. I’m impressed. I know how much you like them and I want to make sure you get to watch the filming.”
“Oh wow, yeah sure that’s great.” I reply stunned. “Where can I be that I’m out of the way?”
“Why don’t you dress as an extra and join the crowd in the balcony?” Zack says.
“Uh, I don’t think I’m uh, qualified for that. I’m no actor.”
“Oh please you’re a fan. That’s all you gotta be. Just do it, you only live once.”
“Well okay. Thank you Zack this has been, I mean I love the band and wow…” Zack laughs at me and walks away shaking his head.
I quickly change and once on the balcony I take in the stage and the look I created. Gerard got his black eye and stitches and Frank has a bandaged hand. Funny the others didn’t get wounds but whatever. It looks like Frank hurt his hand hitting Gerard, but maybe they are into that kinda shit. Who knows? I giggle to myself. I can’t believe I’m doing this. Zack calls quiet on the set and they begin the first shot. The cameras are focused on the band at this point so we aren’t in the shot. I sit down and watch the boys as the music plays. God, Ray is fucking sexy. I’m so lost in his performance and the scene that I’m oblivious when everyone around me starts standing and screaming.
Meanwhile on stage - “Your girl is staring again.” Frank says to Ray as they have finished filming for the moment.
“She’s not my girl.” Ray says almost sadly.
“She could be, ask her out.” Bob says with a nudge.
“Since when are you guys so interested in my dating life?”
“Well, everyone is paired up. We just want you to be happy too.” Frank says smiling.
“Bullshit.” Mikey adds. “But you should ask her out. She does like you.”
“CUT” Zack yells through the bull horn. “Would my VISUAL DIRECTOR, PLEASE act like she is having a good time!?”
I’m nudged by someone and it brings me back. I realize everyone is looking at me. The band is still on stage but they are just talking and watching. Oh God they are watching me. What is going on?
“You think you can act like a concert goer who is happy to be here?” I glance around and realize I’ve screwed up again. “Uh yeah Zack, sorry.”
Zack smirks at me glances back to the band and says, “You guys can take lunch, we are gonna do some scenes then we will call you back.” The boys begin to exit the stage and he calls, “ACTION” the music is playing and I start jumping to the beat and pumping my fist in the air like the others around me.
Sitting next to Gerard, Ray asks, “So what do you have to do if I ask her out? Do I want to know?” Gerard blushes and looks at Frank.
“Forget I asked.” Ray says and moves to the food table grabbing a plate. Ray sits at a table by himself and Mikey joins him.
They eat silently for a few moments then Mikey says, “Would you have wanted to ask her out if none of us said anything? I mean would you have asked her out?”
Ray looks at him for moment thinking. “I don’t know, yeah, probably.”
“SO what difference does it make now?” Mikey says.
Ray just nods and goes back to eating. Frank, Gerard and Bob are sitting at the other table.
“Can we talk about something else then Ray’s love life?” Bob says tearing into his food.
“We can talk about what Gerard has to do when he loses this bet.” Frank says smiling when Gerard blushes.
“Really?” Bob asks almost spraying food all over the table.
“No, let’s not.” Gerard says, “Let’s talk about the video. I think it’s going to be so fucking cool. I love it already, it’s my favorite one we’ve done.”
“You say that about ALL of them.” Frank says bumping Gerard’s shoulder and making him spill his soda.
“Watch it fuckhead, I don’t want to wear my soda. I want to drink it.” Frank laughs and bops Gerard’s nose, “You love me.” “Do not.” Gerard replies.
“I’m done.” Bob says, grabbing his plate and moving to the other table. “So, you gonna ask her out or not?” Bob asks sitting next to Ray.
“Jesus! Isn’t there something else worth talking about around here?!” Ray asks almost shouting.
Mikey smiles. “Not really Ray, I’m afraid you’re HOT news today.”
“Fuck you guys.” Ray says standing, tossing away his trash and leaving the room.
“Alright, let’s switch for the stage view and stage dive. Balcony, take 30.” Zack says and I walk back towards the back of the venue.
The guys haven’t been called back to set yet and I’m too embarrassed about being called out as the only extra not having fun. Zack is fucking killing me here. Go be with the guys, talk to the guys, watch the guys….OH wait, don’t look, act or say anything to make yourself look like the obsessed fangirl you are. Thanks Zack. The guys really LOVE you, what bunch of crap.They were obviously talking about me on stage and Zack had to send them to lunch to save me from making this whole thing look bad. I pass a few people in the crew who say HI but I ignore them. My head down, counting the tiles as I walk the halls, turning randomly, lost in thought. I should just go home. I’m a much better fan when I’m very, VERY far away from these guys. It’s stupid to be lovesick for someone you never met. Well, I mean I’ve met him but whatever. This is just a 3 day video shoot in the middle of their very hectic, very busy, very famous lives. What am I thinking is going to happen? Ray is going to just round the corner and profess his undying love for me?!That shit barely happens in the movies and no one believes it, it’s more the plot of a fanfiction [which I may or may not be writing.]
I round another corner when I hit something and find myself on my ass, on the floor. “What the-?” I manage to mumble and I hear that voice.
“OH My God, I’m SO sorry!” I look up and much to my horror, I have plowed into Ray and now he’s apologizing for my stupidity.
I return my eyes to the floor and try to sit up in a graceful way. Not possible. “It’s MY fault; I wasn’t looking where I was going. I’m the one who’s sorry Ray.” I pull my legs under me trying to get a footing, but the damn punk boots I’m wearing are slick and my foot slides out from underneath me.
“Please take my hand, let me help you.” He says as I continue to struggle. I sigh defeated and reach up. His hands take mine and I’m lifted to my feet.
“Thank you Ray, I really am sorry I wasn’t looking where I was going.” I can’t bring myself to meet his eyes. I’m looking at my hands that are still wrapped in his. I quickly pull them away.
“Are you okay? Did you hurt anything?” He asks. And for a brief shining moment of truth I chuckle to myself and think. NO Nothing at all, just my pride, my self-esteem and my self-image. I’m the picture of health! “Anything bruised?” He asks trying to make eye contact. I open my mouth and I’m grateful when words come out,
“Just my ego, I keep embarrassing myself in front of you.”
“Really? I hadn’t noticed.” I look up and laugh. “Ah, finally got a smile from you. Your eyes are really pretty.” I smile but look down again. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean that as a pick up line. I mean, I mean it. But I don’t mean it just to say it.” He stops and sighs heavily. “Now who’s socially awkward?” He adds running his hand through his hair, pushing it back.
“Socially awkward? Yeah I should have that tattooed on my forehead.” I say before realizing. “I mean, I’m sorry…for everything. I’ll just go crawl in a hole somewhere.” I start to walk past him when he grabs my arm.
“No, please don’t. I didn’t mean to insult you. I mean I’M socially awkward. Always have been, you’re great. You put all this together, it’s a great vision for the movie and we are really excited to be a part of it all.”
“You aren’t awkward Ray, come on. It’s sweet for you to be so kind to me but I’m just a fan who can’t keep from making a fool of herself in front of you guys. This was a bad idea. I don’t know why I thought it wouldn’t become some epic chance for me to look like a jackass.”
“It’s obvious you are talented and know what you are doing here. The guys, we like you and Zack likes you or else he wouldn’t have put you in charge if he didn’t think you could do it. Right?” He’s smiling at me.
He’s so nice, trying to reassure me. But it’s obvious he isn’t interested in me romantically. “Yeah, sure. I’m good at my job.”
“Look, would you like –“
“There you are. Jesus, where have you been?" Bob asks exasperated.
"Well, I..." Ray starts and Bob interrupts him again.
"Zack wants us back on set, come on!" Ray gives my arm a slight squeeze before giving me an apologetic look, releasing me and following Bob back to the stage. I watch them walk away.
Okay I watch Ray's ass as he walks away but you know. I slowly make my way to the balcony. I'm determined to make a good show of the rest of the day. Even if I never see him again, I can't let him leave thinking I'm a complete dork even if it's true.
On Stage...
Bob walks on stage and takes his place behind the drums. Ray is right behind him adjusting his guitar strap. "Where did you go?" Gerard asks.
"I found him with her." Bob says smiling. Ray shoots him a glare.
"Really?" Frank asks.
"And?" Mikey adds.
"I'm not telling you guys shit." Ray says going to his mark.
"Really, nothing?" Gerard asks.
"I'm ignoring you." Ray says.
When I get to my spot, the camera is set to shoot Gerard with his back to the crowd. I can see the guys talking and taking their places. Zack yells action and the music starts to play and we all dance and thrash. The rest of the day goes well. The stage dive looks amazing and Zack calls a wrap for the day. I head back to the dressing room and wait for the guys.
The door opens and I hear, "Fuck you guys, you know I really hate you sometimes!" Ray is mad as the door slams into the wall. Then he sees me sitting on the table, the boys right behind him.
"Everything okay?" I ask. Ray looks embarrassed, no that can't be right. What's going on?
"Uh yeah we are cool." Frank says pushing past Ray.
"It's nothing” Gerard adds.
"Too much coffee” Mikey says.
"Okay, well you're free till 5 tomorrow. Just leave the clothes behind the screens. I have duplicates for tomorrow but Gerard for continuity you will have to wear the same jeans again."
"Oh yeah sure" he replies.
"I can try washing them and hope they won't fall apart."
"Gerard is use to wearing dirty clothes." Ray says rather salty.
"I'm not sure he wore anything clean on the Warped Tour." Mikey says smiling.
"Hey! It's not pick on Gerard day." Gerard shoots back.
"No that's Tuesdays."
Gerard glares at Bob. "Eat shit Bob."
"Um, okay I'll leave you guys to change and I'll see you here tomorrow. Good night." the guys all say good night or good bye. I notice Frank grab Ray's arm as I walk out.
Ray’s POV
I'm frozen in the room. I'm tired of the guys’ harassment and of course my outburst was witnessed by her. God, she must think I'm an ass. Gerard has been in ear about professionalism all damn day. Motherfucker thinks no one can see he and Frank are like rabbits around each other. I pop off a slam about Gee and sound more hateful then intended but dammit he deserves it. By the time she is leaving I mutter a good night.
As soon as the door closes Frank grabs me. "What the hell man, go after her." I sigh, I'd like to but I'm afraid of how she'll react after my fit. "Leave it Frank." I say stepping behind the screen and changing clothes.
"Well I'll just say it's for the best. I mean nothing good can come from it anyway." Gerard says sliding his jacket off next to me.
"Go to hell Gerard." I say and throw a boot in his direction.
"Someone's salty." he mutters under his breath but loud enough for all to hear.
"Stay out of it Gerard." Mikey chimes in, "You and Frank have made this day unbearable for Ray."
"No one asked you Moikey." Gerard says flashing him his ass as he strips the spandex off. Frank smiles and Gerard gives him a wiggle. Frank giggles and I want to kill them both.
I grab my jacket and leave the rest of them to finish dressing. Bob is the next one out dressed. "Hey man, don't let them get to you. You know how they are."
"Yeah," I say, "They are assholes."
"You got that right." Mikey adds joining us.
"Do we want to know what they are doing back there?" Bob asks.
"I'm helping Gerard get dressed." Frank yells from behind the screen. "Uh huh," I say, "we will be in the van."
"You guys can do that shit in your hotel room." Mikey adds, following me and Bob out of the room.
Once in the hotel, I collapse on the bed. Thank God, I got the single room. Bob and Mikey are next door and Gee and Frank are across the hall. I glance at my phone, why didn't I get her number? Dammit, I am a loser. Tomorrow night we shoot the arrest scenes and they riot. I don't know when I'll get to talk to her alone. She's so pretty and smart and talented. I still have her drawings of our costumes. I'm pretty sure she'd say yes if I asked her out. Of course where would we go? I have no idea what's around here or what's good or what she'd like. Fuck, I hate dating. This is why I stay on the bus and work on music or arrangements it's easier then talking to people.
Next day...
I texted Mikey and asked him to join me for a late lunch without the guys. I'm sitting in the hotel restaurant waiting for him to join me.
"Hey Ray-fro, been waiting long?" I glance up from my phone to see him sitting across me.
"Nah man."
"So is this about our lovely Visual Director?”
"Yeah basically. I like her and I would ask her out but..."
"But what?"
"I don't have her number."
"Why can't you ask her tonight?"
"In front of the band? And listen to Frank gloat and Gerard bitch? What am I? A masochist? I've had enough of that shit."
Mikey laughs, "Yeah man I got you. So we need to get her number or get you two alone. Is that it?"
Original Characters POV
We spent the afternoon shooting the crowds outside and the scenes without the boys. Zack said I seemed more relaxed today I wanted to say it's because Ray wasn't here to make me nervous but I didn't. He knows, he keeps asking me the time. Like he knows I'm counting down the hours till they come in. The minutes, they should be here any minute now. I'm sitting on the table with the coffee waiting. I've got Bob's favorite this time too.
The door flies opens; Mikey rushes in and slams the door holding it closed with one hand, his phone in the other. "Give me your phone number quick!”
"What? Why?"
"It’s for Ray, just do it they aren't far behind me."
I blush furiously and say, "Oh ok its, 817-555-5555".
Mikey quickly releases the door and comes over to me and grabs his coffee. The boys come in. "Jesus Mikey, what's the fucking rush?” Gerard asks.
"Yeah, you bolted from the van like a bullet. What the fuck?" Frank adds.
"I just needed a coffee fix that's all." he says smirking. "It's been like two hours since my last cup."
"Yeah you know how he is, he's a junkie.” Ray says with raised eyebrows silently questioning Mikey.
"Why did I ever join this band?” Bob asks taking his coffee cup. "You guys are all fucking crazy.”
I laugh.
Mikey tosses his empty cup in the trash and looks to Ray. "Yep, all good now."
Ray smiles and looks at me. And I blush again and smile back. He wanted my phone number, maybe I'm not crazy and he actually likes me. Ray Toro likes me. I'm dying and what to squeal with joy. But I can't so I just say, "You guys know the routine. Get dressed and your accessories are on the table. Don't take all day and get your asses to makeup.”
"Yes Ma'am." Frank replies.
"Gerard I had the spandex washed for you. I'll see you guys on set.” Mikey is on his phone and Bob is heading behind the screens. I leave. I run to the bathroom, grab a hand full of towels step into a stall and scream into them. My heart is racing.
Mikey shoves his phone in his pocket as Ray's phone beeps with a message.
Unicorn lover: here u go lover boy make it count. 817-555-5555 ;)
Ray smiles and opens a new text message to her number.
UNKNOWN number: Hey there it's Ray. Thank you for the coffee. I love u.
Mikey and Ray are putting on their accessories as Bob heads out to makeup. Gerard and Frank are still behind the screen. Ray is on his phone when he exclaims, “Jesus, NO! Aw FUCK! CHRIST YOU IDIOT!”
I stare at my phone reading his message. He loves me? Wait another message.
UNKNOWN number: Oh shit, that was supposed to say I love it. The coffee I mean, not that I love you, that'd be weird right? I mean we just met and now I'm rambling electronically. Not that I don't like you, I mean I do that's why I wanted your number. This is bad, I'm sorry. This is still Ray.
Oh he loves coffee. Oh God he's so freaking cute when he's awkward. I love him. My hand is shaking as I save his number in my phone. I have Ray Toro's phone number OMG.
Mikey calmly looks in his direction to see Ray shaking his phone wildly. “You okay Toro?”
From behind the screen Gerard says, “What the hell was that?”
Frank adds, “That couldn’t be FRORO – he never swears.”
Ray shows his phone and the texts to Mikey. Mikey shakes his head and laughs softly. “Ray is just having some trouble dressing, that’s all.”
Silently, Mikey mouths ‘Calm Down’ to Ray. Ray just shrugs like whatever, life is over. Gerard and Frank come out dressed and Ray shoves his phone in his pocket and fastens his second belt. Walking into makeup, Ray’s mood has definitely soured. Taking their seats Gerard and Frank are chatting about the riot scenes on the schedule, Mikey is on his phone. Ray’s phone binks.
UNICORN LOVER: Chill man, it’ll be fine.
FRO TORO: No, she’s gonna think I’m a moron. I can’t even text.
UNICORN LOVER: I’m telling ya, she loves you. IT WILL BE FINE – stop pouting.
“I’m not pouting.” Ray says out loud.
“What?” Frank asks.
“Oh uh nothing, just something on the internet.” Ray responds. Mikey shakes his head in exasperation.
I stared at the message for a few minutes. Is this too much? He knows I like him, can't play hard to get, he would know that's phony besides I couldn't pull it off. Oh what the heck, I hit send. I head out to the stage area and find a spot out of the way.
TO RAY TORO: You are very welcome for the coffee. Regarding your text. You. Are. Adorable. And kudos to your partner in crime. Very smooth. LOL
Once on stage, Ray’s phone binks. From the balcony, you see Ray look at his phone and smile. Zack calls for quiet on the set and yells, “Action!” The riot scenes go great. Poor Ray got knocked down 8 times before Zack was happy with the shot. On a whim I decided to get flirty.
TO RAY TORO: If you ever decide to give up the guitar, you would have a great career as a stunt man, you look great. J
Ray puts his water down and pulls his phone from his pocket. He reads the text, smiles and looks up to the balcony. He starts typing.
TO RAY TORO: I meant the shot looks great. UGH I’m hopeless at this.
Changing UNKNOWN NUMBER to MY FUTURE GIRLFRIEND, he starts to reply.
MY FUTURE GIRLFRIEND: Only true artists suffer for their art, isn’t that the saying? Just wondering why I’m always the one being trampled on in these videos? But hey I’m a tough guy, I can take it. Anything for the shot, isn’t that what you directors tell the actors? I’m dedicated to getting it right no matter how many times I have to do it.
Reading his text I can’t help but think of that last line as something dirty, it’s not but my mind wonders to what he’d be like in bed. How many times would he want to practice to make things perfect? Hmmm
“Is your girl okay up there?” Frank asks.
“She’s not my girl.” Ray responds.
“She could be, ask her out.” Frank says.
“Jesus, I’m having de ja vu here.” Mikey adds.
“She does look a little off up there, zoned out?” Gerard adds, joining the boys and looking at the balcony.
“Wonder what she’s thinking about?” Frank says, elbowing Ray in the ribs. “Here’s a hint, it’s you.”
“Drop it guys. Really.” Ray says putting his phone in his pocket and returning to his water.
I come out of daydream when I realize how quiet it has gotten. I realize the theater has cleared out and the shot has moved outside. I look at my phone.
FROM RAY TORO: Hey uh where are you? Are you out here with everyone?
“Dammit” I jump up and type and I race down the stairs.
TO RAY TORO: Sorry, your last text set my mind off on tangent that’s best not discussed right now. I’m on my way.
“Ah she’s been thinking of you and things best not discussed, Hmm. Bet she’s planned the wedding already.” Mikey says reading the text over Ray’s shoulder.
“Shut it Mikey and don’t tell the others I’m texting her.”
“Sure Froro, I’m your partner in crime, remember?” Mikey says and walks away.
I run out the door into the street and hear, “CUT!” I stop and see Zack with the megaphone. “YOU ARE KILLING ME HERE – YOU AREN’T IN THIS SHOT! Please kindly step away from the camera.”
“Jesus, I am hopeless.” I mutter as I try to slink away unnoticed and get out of the way. I find a wall away from the cameras and sigh, when I look up Ray is standing in front of me.
“Unusual acting method you have, maybe you can give me some pointers.” He says smiling.
“Yeah,” I laugh “only if you want to be fired mid-shoot then I’m your girl.”
“Hey, we weren’t even shooting, just rehearsing. So don’t you worry about it.”
I shrug my shoulders and look at my feet. “Yeah.”
His hand lifts my chin till I’m looking him in the eyes. His beautiful eyes. “Would you like to go out with me?”
I open my mouth to say of course, yes but something else comes out. Call it word vomit. “Go out like a friend thing or do you mean go out like in high school when you would ‘go’ with someone like you were going steady as my mom use to say or go out like…?”
“A date. You and I going somewhere together as friends yes, but with maybe more of a romantic intention. The shoot ends at 8 a.m.; we could go for coffee or breakfast somewhere. I mean unless you want to go to bed first then maybe dinner instead.”
I start laughing and he realizes his mistake.
“Wait, oh God that came out wrong, you…you know what I meant, right?”
“You mean you didn’t just invite me to your bed for the day with dinner after?” I barely make it through the sentence before laughing again.
Ray looks frustrated, “Please don’t make me explain. I, uh well I’m hopeless. I’d say I’m better on text but you have proof that’s not true.”
“Honestly, I’m just so relieved that I’m not the only person who feels socially awkward. Coffee, breakfast or dinner I’ll be happy to join you.”
Ray smiles and sighs in relief. “I really don’t know the area outside the hotel. Do you have a favorite place near here?”
“Well uh, there’s a bakery close by and they open really early so we can get coffee and stuff.”
“Sounds great. So after the shoot wraps?”
“Definitely.”
“CAN I GET THE ENTIRE BAND BACK TO SET?!” Zack screams into the bullhorn.
“I think that’s my cue to leave.” Ray says looking sheepish.
“I look forward to seeing you in handcuffs.”
“What?!”
“Jesus, I mean the scene. Oh Lord, I’ll just be over here, crawling in to a hole.”
“Oh, yeah. I guess I’m just a bad boy. That’s terrible; I really suck at this you know.”
“Me too. Just go give them hell.”
Ray steps back to me, kisses me gently on the cheek and rushes back to the set and takes his place.
RAY TORO JUST KISSED ME!! OH MY GOD!
I try to pull myself together and walk casually toward the set to watch. Ray is dragged out of the club by the cops, slammed against the paddy wagon and shoved inside. Frank, Bob, Mikey and then Gerard follow in turn. It looks great. Frank manages to stick his tongue out at the cop as he closes the door. This video is going to be incredible.
They repeat the scene several times for different angles and Zack finally calls a wrap at 5:30 a.m. Instead of meeting the guys in the dressing room, I decide to take the opportunity to freshen up and change for my date with Ray.
IN THE DRESSING ROOM
“What do you mean you aren’t coming back to the hotel with us?” Frank asks.
“We’ve invited the crew to breakfast at the hotel as a wrap party. It’s rude of you not to come say thank you.” Gerard adds.
“Well, I uh. I didn’t say I wasn’t coming back to the hotel just not in the van with you guys.” Ray stutters and fumbles.
“I think it’s fair, leave Ray alone. Damn you guys have messed with him this entire video; no wonder he wants some space.” Mikey chimes in.
“I just want some time to clear my head.” Ray adds giving Mikey a look of thanks.
“I don’t know Ray, it’s gonna look bad if you aren’t there.” Gerard starts.
“I hate to be the one to point this out, but why isn’t our Visual Director here?” Frank asks.
They look at each other and around the room finally all settling to look at Ray. “What?” Ray asks, “Is there something on my face?”
“Why isn’t she here Ray?” Frank asks stepping closer. “Is she getting ready to meet you somewhere?”
“Guys….” Ray begins but Mikey interrupts. “Look, just drop it. Ray wants space away from us; asking him questions isn’t helping.”
“How do I know if I won the bet?” Frank asks sadly.
“Jesus Frank, let it go! Either Ray is meeting her or not; it’s NOT our business. If you want to TOP Gerard so badly discuss it with him; these stupid bets are ridiculous! NO One wants to know about your bedroom activities its bad enough I room near you two!” Bob screamed.
Everyone was silent as they looked at Bob shocked. Gerard and Frank were both red in the face. Mikey was smirking and Ray just tied his boot and grabbed his jacket as he walked out of the room.
“The van is waiting for us.” Mikey commented breaking the silence. “Let’s go.”
Bob huffed out first, still riled up from his outburst.
Frank grabbed Mikey’s sleeve and said, “That’s not what the bet is, you know that right?”
Gerard adds, “Yeah, Bob is so wrong about everything.”
Mikey jerks his sleeve back from Frank and shakes his head at the two of them. “I don’t care who fucks who – I don’t wanna know.” He walks out leaving Frank and Gerard alone.
Gerard pushes Frank against the doorway and kisses him roughly. “I care and we both know who is in charge of whom, don’t we?”
Frank looks at him, flushed from the kiss, breathless and replies, “Yes Gee.”
OUTSIDE THE CLUB
I’m an idiot. I’m standing here in a skirt and blouse and converse. Stupid me couldn’t find anything better in the costume closet and I didn’t bring ‘date’ clothes. I feel out of place but I didn’t want to wear my boring jeans and Watchmen t-shirt to go out with Ray Toro. HE can wear jeans and a t-shirt and look like a rock God, I look like a bum. Every time the door opens my heart jumps and falls. Just another crew member leaving; everyone is talking about the wrap party at the hotel. Perhaps they will notice Ray and I aren’t there, who cares. Maybe we could run off to Vegas and get married. Too much?
“Hey beautiful, you ready to go?” Ray asks from behind me. I jump.
“Uh, oh yeah, I’m ready.”
“You look very pretty punk. I mean like the punk look on you. We have the same Converse. I think you’re pretty. Jesus, I’m a mess.” He sighs running his hand through his messy curls and I swear my knees go weak.
“Thank you?” I ask with a hint of laughter. “Pretty punk, I like it maybe it’s a new phrase; like pop punk. Could catch on huh?” I smile at him.
“I love your smile.”
I blush. He looks embarrassed.
“So uh, where should we go?”
“Yeah, the bakery is just a few blocks from here.” I motion towards the end of the block and we start walking. When we reach the end of the street he takes my hand as we cross. He’s SO freaking sweet, why can’t I keep him forever?! We don’t talk as we walk but swing our hands and smile at each other like stupid kids.
When we get to the bakery, he opens the door and places his hand on my back as I enter. What a gentleman! We get to the counter and he looks at me to order first.
“Hi, I’ll have a princess cupcake and a cup of hot chocolate.” I say and look to Ray to order. I can’t believe I’m here with him.
“Cupcake for breakfast? Hmm, I like your style. I’ll have the same.” Ray pays for our order and we sit at a small table for two.
“You know I’m a fan and I’ve always wanted to tell you that your playing reminds me of Brian May.”
“Oh wow, I am a huge Queen fan. I do take a lot of inspiration from him. Frank takes his inspiration from more heavy players which give us a heavier sound all together.”
“Yes but you can hear the guitars harmonize and that is straight out of Brian’s playbook.” The waitress sets down our cupcakes and cups of hot chocolate. I begin to pull the sprinkles off the icing and nibble on them.
Ray smiles at me, “No one has ever put it like that before. I mean, I’m like wow to think that someone thinks I sound like Brian May you know without trying to rip him off or anything.”
“I think every magazine asks you about your musical influences; but how do you feel about the issue of being successful vs. making lasting music? That’s what broke up Pink Floyd, Roger Waters put so much into the lyrics of The Wall and David Gilmore felt the music needed the same attention.”
Ray laughs a little. “What did you study in school? Rock and Roll History?”
I laugh, almost choking on my hot chocolate. “Nah, I guess it’s just a hobby.”
“Well in the beginning it was about getting a message to as many kids as possible. I guess you’d call it trying to be successful. But now me and Gerard are 27 …” Ray is gesturing as he talks and slams his hand in the cupcake and doesn’t notice right away. …I think we’ve gotten past that point and now we are concerned with making good music, being successful and making this last as long as it needs to last.” Ray starts laughing and I’m already crying from laughter. “I stuck my hand in the cupcake.”
“Yeah, I see that.”
Ray begins to lick the frosting from his hand and my laughter starts to die away as I realize how delicately he licks and sucks the frosting from his hand. OH My God, it’s erotic. Damn Him and his mystical powers.
“Good cupcake, I must say.” He says wiping his hand on his napkin. “You okay?”
I’m in a trance, can’t speak. “Uh huh, I mean yeah why?”
“You look all flushed. You feel alright?”
“Yeah, probably just a sugar rush.” I laugh it off. We finish our cupcakes and drinks and continue to debate music vs. success. Ray is so smart; he knows what he likes and can defend his reasoning tooth and nail. He gets so worked up, it’s precious. I look at my watch as we leave and realize we’ve been here for over two hours just talking and laughing. We had another round of cupcakes and Ray managed to eat the second one without karate chopping it in two. As we approach the location where we’d been shooting, I’m thinking this is it. The big goodbye, the this was fun maybe I’ll see you next time we are in town, kiss off. Now I’ve depressed myself.
“You’ve gone quiet. Do you want to come back to the hotel with me?”
My head shoots up to look him in the eyes, “What?”
“Oh God, the wrap party; I meant come back to the party with me. I’m never going to be able to talk to you; you make me too nervous.”
“You nervous?! I’m the nervous wreck. Couldn’t find anything appropriate to wear, I’ve rambled on about music history facts and sounded stupid doing it.”
Ray steps closer to me gently pushing me against the door. “Maybe this will help.” He leans down and his lips capture mine. A sweet kiss that becomes an open kiss, gently and sweetly with tongues exploring and breath quickening and it all becomes something else; something hotter. When his lips release mine, I sigh satisfied. “I’ve wanted to do that since I first met you. That’s what I was so nervous about.”
“Well nothing to worry about now, you did it perfectly.” I smile at him and reach up and bink his nose with my finger.
“You are so cute.” His kisses me again, a quick shorter kiss but still hot as fuck. “Come back to the hotel with me.” This time his voice is rougher and so sexy.
“To the party?” I ask our faces and lips inches away from each other.
“To the party, then to my room, then to my bus, then my place.
“Ray, what are you…”
“Come on; just come spend some time with me. Take a vacation or a leave or something; if it doesn’t work out between us then you can come back here. But I can’t let you go just yet, maybe never. Just say ok, please?”
I reach up and pull his lips closer to mine and say, “Okay Ray.”

Notes

I'm planning a series of one shots based on videos and songs - I hope someone reads and enjoys!