Save Me

I came out of my room and walked to the kitchen, it was still empty, since Gerard stormed off, I haven't heard much movement. I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and decided to go and search for him. I went towards the basement first and had a look around only to find it was empty.
I searched all the rooms in the house, which aren't many and still nothing. The only room I had not searched was the bedroom. "Gerard?" I said whilst knocking on the door, "you in there?". No reply, I opened the door just to check and my heart broke at the site of him. He didn't even look up at I opened the door. He had his headphones in with his iPod laying on his tummy whilst his arms are behind his head. He looked as if he had been crying. The more I looked at him though the more I noticed how hot he looked in that position even if it was because he was upset.

I walked closer to him, but he didn't say anything, he was just watching me. I picked up his iPod and turned it off. He still hadn't made any attempt to stop me so I continued. I slowly took both ear plugs out of his ear and wrapped the wire around his iPod putting it on the bedside table, all in slow, quiet movements, aware he was tracking my every move. I then with hesitation climbed on to his bed with him, he automatically shifted a little and put his arm around me.
My back was against his chest and we just lay there in silence for a while. However, the silence was getting too much so I decided to break the silence by saying the only thing I could think of. "Sorry" I whispered.

He propped himself up with his elbow at this point so he was peering over me, I turned a little so I could see him better at the same time. He stroked my cheek softly "you have nothing to apologize for, sugar" he said softly. I shook my head, I did, if I wasn't so selfish he wouldn't be risking his job or the rest of his life at all.
"I do, I understand that being with me in the way you are is risking everything. I was asking too much when we first got to together, I didn't realise it properly until now how much your risking. You don't have to be with me if you don't want I was asking way-"
He shut me up by giving me a short kiss. "Don't Hel, I want to be with you, it takes two to be in a relationship baby, I knew what I was getting into even if you didn't. If you don't want to be with me that s fine, I don't want to force you, however you must know although I will let you end it, I won't and never will want it to end" I melted at his words and this time it was my turn to shut him up.
I kissed him with much more pressure than he kissed me. When I pulled away he put his hand on the back of my neck and pulled my lips straight back to his with more force than necessary, although it didn't hurt it did make me full on top of him.
Without braking the kiss, he pulled my legs round his waist so I was straddling him. We kissed for what felt like hours before we broke away for air. It was only then when I realised our position. I was on top of him straddling him on his bed. Even though this was what I was most scared of since being raped, I wasn't scared at all with Gerard because I knew he would never intentionally hurt me. I lent back in for a kiss and this time it was much more passionate. His hand slipped under my shirt whilst mine were tangled in his hair.

We needed each other, he needed me from the shock of Mikey's words earlier and I needed him so that I have comfort with the fact I wasn't going to lose him, not today anyway.
I pulled away as we were getting more heated. "I don't think we should" I whispered.
"I agree sugar " I went to get off of him when he grabbed my waist to stop me from moving. "Just because we've stopped doesn't mean you have to move". I chuckled.
"I was just getting comfier baby, don't worry I wasn't leaving" He kissed me quickly.
"I like you calling me baby, baby" He said in a suggestive voice, i smiled, I liked this playful side to him, hardly any one gets to see it, it made me feel special.
"that's good because I like saying it!"

We stayed like this for ages, cuddling together.
~~~~~
It was dark out by the time I woke up, still next to Gerard. It made me smile, I loved waking up next to him. I sat up and stretched slowly when I felt two arms snake round my waist pulling me back down. "I didn't wake you did I?" i asked looking into his eyes, concerned.
"Yes but it's okay because it meant me seeing my beautiful girlfriend" He said whilst throwing me his sexy smirk.
"Oh really and who might that be?" I said cocking my head to the side whilst turning to face him. I was laying on his chest whilst he was propped up by the cushions.
"hmm she's this unknowingly gorgeous girl, with stunning red hair and the most sexy body. oh and the most perfect laugh and smile, I can't help but smile whenever I see her." He said confidently, making me blush, he had a sparkle in his eye whilst talking and i couldn't quite pin-point that emotion.
"She sounds lovely, I'd love to meet her." He grinned, giving me a kiss. I loved him being so carefree. I don't think I'd ever seen him like this before. He had a boyish smile, and his hair was all messed up from sleeping and earlier events. I couldn't help but smile which in turn made him smile.

Notes

SORRRRRRY! it wasn't my fault... well it was but i'm going to blame my teachers. One of them gives me 3 essays a week! and i had coursework due in before the Easter term ended on the 4th and urgh it was terrible. But i'm on my Easter holidays now so.... TWO WEEKS OFF SCHOOL. All i have to do is revision for my a levels in may and few pieces of homework, so just don't let me forget to update!

I really am sorry, i hope you'll still read even with my awful updating skills!

Bye for now xoxoxo