Dear Insanity.

^Gerard^

Things seemed exceptionally dull this morning. The cafeteria was ominously quiet lacking the usual buzz of voices. I sighed to myself and looked out the window, away from my disgusting almost-gray-eggs. They expect me to consume, digest and live off what could be salmonella, that and I was approximately Five minutes and eighteen seconds late. Meaning I couldn't possibly eat, even if they were edible looking.

"Here are your pills, Darlin" Carson, My nurse smiled down at me with her old wrinkled face, and curly gray locks. "Not eatin' today?" She examined my full plate of questionable bacon, Gray eggs, and soggy toast. "Not particularly in the mood for food poisoning," I mumbled mindlessly. "Will you at least take your medication today" Her hopeful tone almost begging me to say yes.

"What good will these little capsules actually accomplish?" (Three minutes and five seconds) I hear her choppy sigh "I'll take them" I finally decided. "But I will not eat. It's pointless now because one- I wouldn't finish, considering I only have Fifteen Minutes exactly left, and two- I must leave Three minutes and forty-five seconds early to get to the group session for Ten O-clock on the dot." I explained, barely even acknowledging what I was saying.

With that final sentence, I popped the bitter pill into my mouth and washed it down with my almost-clear-orange juice. Seriously this place was supposed to get you healthy and stable. This food barely passes as edible.

My eyes widened when I realized my thought process had been interrupted. I looked up at the analog clock to my left and relaxed, It had only been Five minutes and twenty seconds since Carson has arrived at my table. "You're excused now, Carson. I can handle sitting here on my own" I offered, what I hoped, was a caring smile.

The sun peaked, only slightly, through the forboding-almost-black clouds. Causing the freshly fallen snow, that I hadn't realized fell, to sparkle. How dare Dr.Glenn force me to share a room. For all this time I have been forbidden any sort of human communication with the other patients. We never talked about what got me in this facility, or when I'd get out, or even what I was taking my pills for.

With that thought invading my mind I stand. Chair scraping against the tattered-worn-down-floor. "There was no need for that, Gerard" David scowled, showing up beside me.
_

The neon lights of the common room precipitated an almost mind-splitting-headache. That and the whining of Stephanie didn't help with the agony what-so-ever. She was on about how Jeffree took her applesauce the night prior. I found this incredulously ludicrous. These sessions are meant to talk about real-life-problems. Not lack of sauced apples.

"Stephanie." Dr.Alexis sighed, trying to mask her annoyance. "We're here to talk about what's bothering you, Not missing desserts." Her bored tone most likely matched my face. Stephanie let out a rather grotesque sob and disgustingly sniffed all her snot, making a nauseating snorting sound "That is absolutely appalling. There is kleenex right beside you." I snapped out before I could stop myself earning a glare from Dr.Alexis.

Fifty minutes and forty-six seconds down, Ten Minutes and fourteen seconds to go. Then I can get to my room and bask in my loneliness until it will be forever invaded by some new kid, whose name I didn't bother remembering.

"What about you Gerard?" Dr.Alexis pressed, snapping me out of my oh-so-important thoughts. Doesn't she know by now that I'm always planning things out and it's incredibly dangerous to interrupt? I met her intense gaze with my own, bored-and-slightly-annoyed one. "Dr.Glenn has informed me that I will have a roommate," I mumbled emotionlessly. That was my problem, I lack serious emotion. I just don't feel. I don't cry, I don't feel joy, anything.

"Anger" He spoke. "The only thing you feel is anger, You're a psycho" He taunted menacingly. I hummed at that, Knowing he was right.

"Okay, How does that make you feel?" Oh the therapist question, how lovely. I rolled my tired eyes "Annoyed and pissed for a number of reasons." She nodded "Reasons being?" I clenched my jaw and ran a hand through my short white hair. "She didn't say a time. It has to be my room. She never told me what the persons like. So its all of your guy's fault if you see me dead one day." Dr.Alexis frowned. "Now if you'll excuse me. I have approximately one minute and thirty seconds to get to my room."

She nodded fearfully. Probably half expecting me to throw a chair or some shit.

"It's probably because you've killed. They also probably wiped your memory. They're going to wipe it completely and then kill you!" I cringed at his voice. Then cringed harder when he showed up beside me "Not. Now. Steven." My voice growled, "Aw, c'mon Gee!" He skipped around me "You gonna get mad? Gonna kick someone's ass because I'm talking to you? Gonna get locked in solitary again because of it?!" His voice was getting higher in frequency the more his questions arisen.

"Enough!" I almost yelled. Grateful that no-one was around to hear my not-so-quite demand toward someone nobody else can see. I know that much. Schizophrenia. That's all they'd tell me and I'm self-aware enough to know he's not real. But also just crazy enough to let it affect me.

I decided against going to my room and made a well-needed-visit to Dr.Glenn who was taken aback when her door crashed open, She stood up alertly, eyes wide with the expectancy of an outburst from me. I didn't know why until I caught a glance of my demeanor. Jaw clenched balled fists and an intimidating stance.

I let my whole body relax as much as I could and unclenched my hands. "Everything okay... Gerard?" She asked tentatively as to not provoke a negative reaction from me. "Time" I requested, she furrowed her eyebrows "Ten-Fifteen" she announces. I shook my head and her eyes widened "Days, Hours, Minutes, Seconds until the new kid gets here." I demanded desperately, shocked by the amount of emotion I possessed right now. She slouched slightly, concern forming all over her face.

Her eyes wandered around the room looking for an answer "He's here now isn't he" I cried. She sighed and I swear I could have passed out then and there. "Three hours, Fifty-four minutes and... Thirty seconds" I relaxed a little "Kay." I whispered, "Are you going to be alright, Gerard?" She took a few steps towards me and I nodded "Yes, I Will be now. Thank you Dr.Glenn" She nodded and offered a heartwarming smile in which I tried to return, but, to no avail.

I then made my way down the narrow hallway, to what would be my last few hours alone in my room.

Notes

Okay, I know where im going with this now.