The Setting Sun

As I looked out of my dusty bedroom window, I saw the sun had started to rise. I had been up all night again. I rubbed my eyes and groaned into my palms. I rolled over once more, hoping to by some work of God fall asleep. For just a minute? I wanted to pray, even though I hadn’t done since I was a kid. Fuck. Still awake. I got out of bed.
I got ready for school. I kissed my mom on the cheek on the way out the door. She made a face, noting my breath smelled like coffee, but she hugged me regardless. At the bus stop I waited, watching the clouds of my breath disappear in the January air. Winter break is such a tease. What’s the point of having school off if it’s too cold to do anything? I lit a cigarette, hoping the caffeine-nicotine combo would be enough to slap me awake. But there was only enough time for a few drags before I heard the bus approaching. I put out the cigarette on the wet sidewalk and got on the bus.
I sighed and slouched into the seat. Listening to the Misfits wasn’t even enough to energize me. I felt like my eyes were gonna fall out of my face, or something. I hated school. Who doesn’t? But I mean, I really, really hated it sometimes. I chewed on my lip ring to distract myself from the anxiety growing within me. I tried to settle my thoughts on something positive: at least I would get to see my friends, finally. I hadn’t seen them since the last day of school before winter break. I laughed quietly to myself, imagining Mikey telling the classic New Year’s joke. “Hey, I haven’t seen you since last year!” Bob and Ray will laugh. Gerard will groan and affectionately say what a weirdo brother he has.
The bus arrived and I hopped off, shivering until I finally made it into the building. I found my friends in our usual spot, by the stairs near the auditorium. The theater kids used to hang out there but freshman year we sort of intimidated them into leaving. Wearing dark clothing occasionally pays off.
“Hey, guys,” I said, and sat down against the wall.
“Frankie, you’re not gonna believe what Mikey has to say to you,” Gerard said.
Mikey began by adjusting his glasses. “Okay, you’re never believe this, but… We haven’t seen each other since last year!”
I laughed, not because it was funny, but because I loved how familiar it was to see enthusiastic Mikey telling a stupid joke. Ray and Bob laughed, probably the third time at that joke so far, while Gerard just smirked. It was good to see that everything was normal. Winter break can make you forget what real life is like.
We began to catch up on what we’d done over the holidays. Sure, we’d texted about it, but it wasn’t the same as in person. Then we (of course) went over Gerard’s girlfriend troubles, which were always ridiculous. He and Mara made a weird couple between her giggly, preppy friends, and Gerard’s weirdo friends, fashion sense and interests. But they both liked to party, and that was pretty much what kept them together. They fought constantly–amusing to us, exhausting for the two of them.
“Speak of the devil,” Ray pointed.
Mara was walking up to us with her two closest friends and another girl I hadn’t seen before. Mara typically overshadowed her other friends, with her confidence, halo of pale blond hair and honey skin. But this girl stood out to me for some reason. She seemed to be hiding her wide blue eyes behind her brown hair. She was hugging herself in a huge black hoodie, almost as if she were trying to fold herself in a blanket. I wondered if she even wore a real coat.
The four girls stopped in front of us. “Hello, all of Gerard’s friends,” Mara said, hand on her hip. She looked away, nose turned up in the air. Her usual company giggled, like they always did. The hoodie girl smiled and rolled her eyes.
“For fuck’s sake, Mara,” Gerard began. “Are you still pissed at me for this?”
“Frank,” Mara turned to me, pretending her boyfriend wasn't there. “Where’s Gerard? I haven’t seen him since he almost ran over my cat!”
In shock, we all whipped our heads to gape at Gerard. “Dude!” Bob exclaimed. “What the fuck?”
“Hey now,” Gerard raised his hands in defense. “I didn’t actually run over any cats here! Let’s not blow this way-the-fuck out of proportion.” He looked at Mara, making a pleading face like a little kid would to get out of trouble. “Babe, please. I’ll make it up to you. I’ll get you some pot!”
“Gerard, I don’t want your fucking weed! It sucks!” Mara snapped, finally acknowledging him.
Well, now he was offended. “Are you kidding me?” Ah, and the typical argument had begun. Gerard stood up and he and Mara began talking as loudly as they possibly could without a teacher coming over to reprimand them. Mikey decided to turn on his GameBoy and the guys crowded around to watch him play his new game. Fed up with having to constantly witness these fights, Mara’s friends walked off. But that odd girl stuck around.
“Hey,” she said softly. She sat down next to me and blew a piece of hair away from her face.
“Hey,” I said. She was quiet. I was unsure of what to say. “So… Are you new here?”
“Yeah, I’m from California,” she said. “New Jersey is really weird.”
“Oh, uh, yeah,” I chuckled. Fuck, I thought, I really suck at talking to people. She was watching Gerard and Mara, leaving me to look at the side of her face as we talked. “Uh… How do you know Mara?”
She laughed slightly, and turned her whole body to face me, still leaning against the wall. She held her head like it was too heavy to keep up straight. Her eyes were so big. I felt like they were devouring me, or something. Still with a hint of a smile, she said, “What makes you think I know Mara, and not Liana or Gabby?”
I shrugged, trying to ignore her chilling eyes. Although the longer she looked, the more her intense gaze grew warm, inviting. I wandered across the freckles spattering her pink cheeks. Then blinked. Stop being creepy. Come on, Frank, answer her. “I dunno. I guess she just seems like the leader of the group.”
The bell rang. The girl stood up. “Maybe she is.” She grinned cheerfully and walked away, slinging her backpack on her shoulder.
Shit. I forgot to catch her name.

* * *
Classes that day were… draining, as to be expected. I nearly nodded off in every period. I groaned as my classmates handed in their papers and projects, bullshit assignments I was supposed to have done but forgot about. I skipped lunch to nap in the library, when I'd normally go out for a smoke and some pizza with the guys. The whole thing went by in a haze clouded by sleep deprivation. Until 8th Period, the last class of the day. I shook myself into a level of clarity as I walked downstairs to the classroom. It was art class–I wasn’t a huge fan of the subject itself, but it was my favorite class since Gerard and Mikey were both in it, and I could slack off while still maintaining a B-. Usually Mikey and I would end up getting yelled at for acting stupid, drawing dicks on our work and comparing it to Freud. Gerard loved art too much to get caught up in our antics. He always had the best work of all of our classmates.
I sat down with my friends just as the bell rang. The teacher gave me a warning look, then began his annoying lecture about how because the year was halfway over, things were going to get more serious. Predicable. He started to say something about breaking into groups… I had no idea. I tuned him out instinctively and started to doodle stick figures committing violent acts against each other on a page in Mikey’s notebook. He suppressed a giggle and added to my drawings. Meanwhile Gerard was totally focused on whatever nonsense our teacher was spewing, even taking notes. It was funny how he ate up everything in art class, even if it was completely unrelated to actual art.
You can only draw so many stick figures before you get bored. I felt my gaze falling out of the window… It was snowing. And there was that girl again. Lighting a cigarette in the snow. She looked sort of ghostly. She was still wearing that hoodie, no jacket. I didn’t notice, but I was staring at her.
Mikey elbowed my arm. I didn’t respond. He poked my cheek. I still didn’t move. “Dude!” He whispered. “What are you doing? Checking out that girl?”
I mumbled some kind of confirmation.
“Hmm,” he replied. “She’s cool. Stand-offish, though. And her eyes are like, massive.”
I grunted again.
“I wonder what her deal is,” he said. “You were talking to her this morning, right?”
Uh-huh.
“Maybe find out if she’s going to that party on Friday.”
Suddenly, I had a new reason to talk to her that I didn’t even know I was looking for. “Huh. Yeah, maybe I will.”
Mikey chuckled and shook his head. “You better hope she can keep up with us.”
Gerard decided to chime in. “I bet she goes hard.”
I scrunched my eyebrows and examined her taking a drag. “What makes you say that?”
He sighed in amusement. “Frankie, it’s obvious. What kind of girl skips last period to have a smoke?” He scribbled something in his notebook. “A party girl, that’s who. Plus, she was hanging out with my goddamn girlfriend,”–those three words were full of disdain–“so it’s basically guaranteed. She loves to get fucked up.”
Mikey agreed. I felt defensive on her behalf, for some reason, but buried the feeling by adding another drawing to Mikey’s book. “What kind of cigs does she smoke, do you think?” I asked.
“Parliaments, like a classy lady,” Mikey joked.
“No way,” Gerard said. “Newports. She’s a menthol girl.”
“Plain old Marlboros,” I offered.
The brothers shook their heads. “It’s a mystery,” Gerard decided.
"Yeah. A mystery." I didn't know why. But a part of me was itching to find the answer.

Notes

wowo ok so this is the first chapter! if just one person reads it i'd be happy lol