Feed the Flames

..::^~Ronan ~^::..

For some people, love was a symbol of eternity, a promise of forever. It wiped out all thoughts of the beginning, and at the same time, let you picture how you wanted to spend the rest of your life; with that love. Whether that was love of a place, a thing, or even more complicated, a person. The downside, however, was when it came to an end, and everything comes to an end, it hurt like hell. The most pain part was that when it was gone, it was usually gone forever.

I couldn’t help but think about this as I sat alone at the edge of the empty football field with my one packed bag, ready to leave. Liam was supposed to meet me in this exact spot, and we’d go down to Mason and convince him to teleport us somewhere across the world where we would start our new life. One thing from that equation was missing, and that was Liam. He was supposed to meet me two hours ago, but he didn’t answer his phone, he didn’t answer any of my texts, and I was on the verge of going to find him. Well, I was, until I finally heard footsteps approach from behind me. “Your late,” I said dryly, immediately assuming it was Liam.

“I thought I would be, yet you’re still here,” Gerard said as he sat down next to me. I bowed my head in defeat – Liam wasn’t coming.

“That’s bullshit. You wouldn’t have come unless you knew I was here,” I waited a moment before I looked up at him, “So what aren’t you telling me?” He seemed to weigh the thoughts in his head before he spoke. Given my recent ill temper, that was probably a good idea.

“I saw him sneaking into the woods last night as I was leaving. You know…after you left me there,” he said, free of any accusing tone. Actually, it almost sounded as if he were making a joke. I wasn’t used to Gerard not sounding angry and hateful all the time, and I thought maybe I could actually be around him without wanting to stab him with a fork now.

“And you didn’t stop him?” It was a rhetorical question – of course he didn’t stop Liam. Why would he? Gerard was clear that he didn’t want me to leave, but that’s not what hurt. What hurt was that Liam left without me. He didn’t say goodbye. Gerard put something down next to my leg, and I looked to find Liam’s phone which would explain why he wasn’t answering any of my calls.

“He threw this like it was a Frisbee,” Gerard said, referring to the phone.

“He must have really wanted to get out of here,” there was no disguising the disappointment in my voice. I was sure it was evident on my face, as well. I couldn’t sit here anymore; I couldn’t wallow in self pity. I had to go back to my room and get ready for school to start tomorrow. “It sure is pretty convenient that you’re here to pick up the pieces,” I said as I stood up and threw my bag over my shoulder, and he quickly followed suit.

“And I’ll continue to conveniently be there to pick up the pieces,” he stated softly as he followed behind me, “Don’t forget, I have an eternity to win your heart over, Ronan.” This caused me to stop in my tracks and turn around. He had stopped right behind me, so I put my hand on his chest and gently pushed him so he was standing at least an arm’s length away from me.

“I don’t want an eternity to pick up the pieces. What I want is to go back to my normal life where I could hope for a deep, dreamless, and never ending sleep when I died. Not this, and this is your fault,” I turned around and began walking back to my dorm.

“You’re the good idea fairy who decided to jump off the roof of the school,” he hissed, bringing back the temperamental Gerard that I had come to know.

“You’re the one who decided to change me into some abnormal monster,” I stopped again and turned around. I quickly pushed up my shirt sleeve, revealing the mark on my forearm, “This is because of you.” I was nearly seething, but I tried to push all of the really hurtful things I had to say to the back. He gently grabbed my forearms, his thumb brushing over the now very prominent Celtic knots.

“The Ulna bone was sticking out of your forearm, so this ended up being the injection site. Your body started rejecting my blood, but once your bones started healing, your body began to accept it. I was terrified,” I small smile weaved onto his face. I could feel the sadness radiating off of him like holiness is supposed to radiate off of the Virgin Mary. I laughed at the analogy due to the fact that Holy Mary, mother of God, was the complete opposite of Gerard Way, who was a work of Satan himself; him, and every vampire, including me.

“Why can’t you just leave me alone?” My voice was almost a whisper. After I asked, I felt slightly disappointed of the thought of him leaving me alone, of not talking to him, of not seeing him.

“Why can’t you just stop running away?” His tone nearly matched mine, except there was something different about his question. It almost sounded like a plea, like he was begging me to let him love me.

“I was just abandoned by somebody who I thought loved me,” I said, taking a few steps back, “I don’t know what my feelings are about anything right now. I just, I need space,” I turned around, hoping that would add some finality to the conversation. Space, that’s what I needed. I needed some time to collect my thoughts and think to myself.

“I’ll be waiting,” for the first time, Gerard had used the connection we had. Despite the fact that I just wanted to be alone, it felt nice to know somebody would be there waiting. I still couldn’t get over the fact that Liam had left me. No, that couldn’t be right. Maybe he didn’t leave for good; there was no doubt in my mind that he would return for me. That’s why he left; he left to find a good place for us to go. We are both young and we needed a place to hide for whenever we decided to leave, which he took into consideration. If there was one thing I had learned at this school, it’s really easy to lie to other people, but lying to yourself was much harder. That’s what I was doing right now; I was lying to myself. Still, the thoughts put me at ease.

I had finally reached the door to mine and Cell’s dorm. I pushed my thumb into the pad and nudged the door open with my foot. Mikey sat on the couch, watching TV. He looked over at me and smiled as I walked into the room, and I gave him a suspicious look. “You better not be here to do Gerard’s bidding.”

“Oh, no,” he blushed slightly, “I heard your plans that didn’t work out, and I just wanted to check up on you.” I could feel my defensive stature drop, and I sat down next to him on the couch. I looked at the TV to find that he was watching ‘Glee’, but decided not to comment on this.

“I regret letting him into my heart,” I said softly, unable to make eye contact.

“Who?” Mikey furrowed his eyebrows so much that it nearly looked like he had a unibrow. I quickly swatted the thought away before I started to giggle. Once he asked the question, I realized I didn’t know. I thought about both Gerard and Liam, but perhaps that was due to the confrontation Gerard and I just had.

“Liam,” I stated, “We were planning on running away together, and he left without me,” I explained. The corners of Mikey’s mouth tugged downward to a frown.

“You were going to leave?” he sounded like a sad child at this.

“I thought everybody knew,” I couldn’t help the guilt I felt. In all honesty, I had considered Mikey to be my best friend, “Gerard and Frank knew.”

“Gerard and Frank have a mental connection with you,” Mikey pointed out, reminding me that if they tried hard enough, they could probably get into my head. I couldn’t let that happen, though.

“The point is that it’s not happening,” I said, kicking my feet up on the table.

“Well that’s good, because the guys really want to see you. They didn’t like the idea of you leaving without saying goodbye, and honestly, I think they’re a little butt hurt about it,” he stood up and looked down at me as he waited for me to stand up.

“I’m not sure I’m really up to see anybody, if we’re being honest. I just preached about how I needed time to think and-” Mikey was quick to cut me off.

“They just want to see you and maybe yell at you for being an asshole, but Gerard isn’t going to be there,” this was a promise. The thing was it had nothing to do with Gerard, but I did owe it to my friends to apologize.

“Alright, I’ll go. Where’s Cell?” I asked, noticing her door was closed. This wasn’t unusual, as it was closed whether she was in there or not.

“She won’t come out of the bathroom. There was the epidemic about her needing blood because, well, she’s a Rogue. She’s alright now, despite the fact that she was about ten minutes away from dying,” he admitted. That one would have been hard to explain to the school board and faculty. She died because she didn’t drink blood. Oh right, vampires..

“Well, good thing that didn’t happen. Shall we go?” I asked, and he held out his arm in the same way that Gerard had when we went back into his memories. The whole idea that was even a possibility still freaked me out. Mikey led me to Frank’s room, where he and Bob were. I kept forgetting Ray wasn’t around. Frank looked really mopey, and I could guess why. As soon as Mikey and I walked in, both of them looked up, and were able to smile.

“Well, there’s the little traitor,” Bob stood up and walked over in order to hug me.

“At least she’s only got one face,” Mikey said under his breath.

“Will you ever let that go?” Bob asked, obviously irritated from the remark.

“I would ask you how it is to be like a penny, since you have two sides and all, but I’m not sure I could trust that you’d give an honest answer,” Mikey pushed his glasses back up to the bridge of his nose. I wasn’t sure exactly why he wore the glasses, considering we all had perfect vision. Bob let out a deep sigh and decided not to reply.

“I’m glad you didn’t go,” Bob wrapped me in his arms. A few moments ago, I had felt abandoned, but now I knew I wasn’t. He let me go, and Frank made his way over to me, also giving me a hug.

“The necklace looks good on you,” he said in my ear. I had forgotten I wore it today.

“Thanks,” I replied as he let go.

“We were just talking about how we’re going to get rid of Mason,” Frank said, leading me back towards the couch.

“And about a cure,” Mikey added as he popped a can of root beer.

“A cure for what?” I asked. I thought the whole vampire thing healed everything, what would we need a cure for?

“Vampirism,” Mikey said between sips, “I’m perfectly fine with my immortality, but you and Gerard hate it, Frank is sort of indifferent, and honestly, Rogues don’t need to be a thing.”

“How has that worked out for you, so far?” I asked. While I would absolutely love for there to be some way I didn’t have to live forever as a monster, I didn’t think it would be possible. With vampirism dating back to when Lucifer fell from heaven, there would likely have been people trying to find a cure. If it hasn’t been found yet, it wasn’t likely there would be.

“Well, you’re still a vampire,” he answered. He opened his mouth as he was about to say something, but the pounding on the door interrupted him.

“Ten bucks says that’s Gerard,” I said as Bob got up to go answer the door. As soon as Bob turned the knob, the door slammed open to reveal an extremely unhappy Ray. His hair was full of sand, and his face, neck, and arms were sun burnt.

“Which one of you cum guzzling fuck toilets teleported me to the middle of the fucking desert?” He straightened up and pointed his index finger upwards in front of him as to keep us from talking. “I have a bone to pick with one of you mother fuckers, but first, I have to have to remove the compacted sand from my ears.”

“Bro, it wasn’t any of us,” Frank said. It was obvious that he, along with the rest of us, were working really hard to hold back our laughter.

“Yeah, that’s what I would say if I didn’t want somebody to think I was an asshole, too,” Ray sneered and flew past us towards the bathroom.

“Well, at least we know where Ray is, now,” Frank said, and we all finally let out our laughter. I realized that this was the first time I was able to laugh in a long, long time. Following that, there was another loud knock at the door.

“It’s somebody else’s turn,” Bob said. Mikey stood up and walked to the door, opening it to reveal a police officer. We were all confused as to why the cops were knocking on the door.

“Sorry to bother you,” he said as he placed his hands on his hips. It was a sign of dominance. “We’re going to have to ask everybody to return to their respective dorms.”

“Why? Is everything okay?” I called out.

“Nothing to worry about, Miss. Just please, calmly go back to your room. Same with you gents,” he nodded before he walked off.

“The fuck?” I asked.

“Oh, right. Whatever happened, it was Mason,” Mikey said. He would have to leave the room to go back to where he and Mikey stayed.

“Cell needed blood,” Frank said defensively. It was obvious the only reason he was defensive was that Cell’s life was at stake. Mikey had told me early that she was nearly ten minutes from kicking the bucket. This foreshadowed some…interesting events at Bal Voyeux – courtesy of Mason.

©Shannon

Notes