Homeland
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*6 months later*
Frank’s POV
“Oh please that girl is not going to be waiting for you when you get back, I bet even now she is banging some bloke and then be all sweet to yourself when you get back.” Ollie said since Jase was on about this girl he got with before we went away.
“Can say exactly the same about Frank’s fella.” Jase said and I looked at him.
“Gerard is different to all the other guys I’ve been with. Also once we get out of this hell hole I’m getting down on one knee and making that man mine.” I said as I poked the fire with a stick.
“Don’t see that happening.” Jase said and we all looked at him with a frown.
“Well I’m not going to be inviting you to the wedding then.” I said and Ollie chuckled.
“And that’s fine with me.” Jase said and I just rolled my eyes and I heard some which made me frown and I stood up and looked round from where I was standing.
“Alright Frank?” Ollie asked and I frowned.
“Someone is watching us, best if we stop talking about our personal lives now.” I said seriously as I bent down and picked my drink up and drank some of it.
“I’m calling it a night.” I said as I walked back over to the tents and found my bunk and sat on it and took my shoes off and reached under my bed and got my box of letters that Gerard would send me every week but normally I wouldn’t get them until a month later.
I smiled sadly to myself as I looked at the G tattoo on my finger and I lead back on my bed and started to read the letters until I fell asleep.
“I don’t like the feeling of this mission.” I said as we had this meeting about rescuing a bunch of soldiers which had been kidnap.
“We are their best shot to get out of there alive.” Ollie said and I looked at him.
“I know the risk of us getting blow up or shot is a high one but I never had a bad feeling about it like I do with this one. This one doesn’t feel like the rest.” I said and Queenie looked at me.
“Come on I can’t be the only one who has the bad feeling about this.” I said as I looked round the table.
“Frank we need to do this mission if those guys have any chance of getting out alive. We are their last hope.” Queenie said and I looked down.
I shook my head and looked up again.
“If we follow the plan then we will be okay. If we have each other’s backs then we will be okay.” Queenie said and we all walked out the tent and I walked off away from everyone and Ollie jogged up beside me.
“What’s wrong with you?” Ollie asked and I looked at him.
“It doesn’t matter.” I said quietly.
“Yes it bloody does Frank, you have never questioned a mission before and now you are. This isn’t like you.” Ollie said and I sighed loudly as I sat on the floor and Ollie sat opposite me.
“If this goes tits up, then I have a mentally unstable boyfriend at home waiting for the officers to come to the door saying that I’m dead. I can’t do that to him, we have a life together and I don’t think I can give my life up knowing I ha e my whole life ahead of me with Gerard.” I said as I messed with the dirt.
“I thought exactly the same when I first got with Jasey. She understands that me coming in a box is a likely thing, then the kids came and I tell you this job is fucking hard knowing your family are home living life and doing things without you but it’s price we pay when we do this job. It’s all about the trust and if you have no trust for your other half then your relationship is already over before it began. Gerard is a strong person and I know you won’t give up until you are at home and Gerard knows that too. You just got to stop thinking so hard about this and do the job we are sent to do.” Ollie said and I looked at him and smiled slightly.
“I have such a bad feeling about this and you know if I have a bad feeling then something will go wrong.” I said and Ollie looked down and nodded.
“I know Frank because I feel exactly the same.” Ollie said quietly and we sat in silence and just thought about everything.
———————————————————————————————————————
To say this mission was a bad move was the biggest understatement of the year.
“I fucking told you this would go tits up!” I said loudly to Queenie since we was in the office on our own while everyone else got treated for the injuries they got.
“Jesus Frank I don’t need this right now.” Queenie said quietly.
“You fucking knew this was dangerous and yet you still sent all of us there. Now a good friend is dead because of you! This is all of your fault!” I shouted really loosing my cool.
“The plan didn’t work and we lost good people, like with every fucker fighting this war. Now I suggest you walk away and cool down.” Queenie said seriously and I just scoffed and walked away slamming the door behind me.
“Jeez Iero are you okay?” A soldier asked.
“Just fuck off okay.” I snapped as I headed towards the tents and got to my bunk and found my phone and found Gerard’s number and called him.
“Hello?” A sleepy Gerard answered.
“Hey baby.” I said quietly feeling my mood drift away by hearing his voice.
“Frankie?” Gerard asked unsure if it was me or not as I don’t phone him as much as I wanted too but we always wrote as much as we could and normally it was Gerard waiting for my letters.
“Yeah it’s me baby, sorry if I woke you up. I could really do with hearing your voice.” I said as I stood up and went for a walk.
“It’s fine, I can wake myself up to talk to you.” Gerard said sounding like he was falling back asleep.
“No baby, I’m sorry for calling you go back to sleep and I’ll catch you another time.” I said and I could hear Gerard smile.
“No, stay talking to me. I’ve missed your voice.” Gerard said sleepily which made me smile as I sat down.
“How are things where you are then?” Gerard asked and I heard him move around.
“Pretty shit to be honest. Just want to be home with you really.” I said as I started to smoke a cigarette.
“I miss you being here too, don’t think my hand has had this much use for a while.” Gerard said which made me chuckle.
“I know what you mean.” I said and Gerard sighed.
“How you coping?” I asked softly as I got back up again and went back to the tents and to my bunk.
“Not too good to be honest, but I’m getting there so you don’t have to worry.” Gerard said and I smiled slightly.
“Have you been taking your meds?” I asked.
“Yeah I started taking them last week after having yet another bad episode.” Gerard said sadly.
“Hang in there baby, not long now before I’m back.” I said and Gerard sniffed quietly.
“I don’t know if I can or not.” Gerard said quietly.
“Don’t talk like that baby, I need you okay. I know I’m thousand of miles away but I still think of you everyday.” I said and Gerard sighed.
“I think off you too.” Gerard said sadly, I could hear in his voice something was wrong.
“Gee, what’s the matter?” I asked and Gerard sighed.
“It’s nothing I can’t handle.” Gerard said and I frowned.
“Baby tell me.” I said pushed slightly.
“Just some stuff from work, I’m be okay you just focus on yourself and don’t worry about me.” Gerard said.
“Well that doesn’t make me want to stop worrying, is it your boss? Do I finally get to kill him when I get back.” I said and Gerard stayed quiet.
“Gee? You still there baby?” I asked and I heard Gerard sob.
“I have to go, I love you and stay safe for me.” Gerard sniffed trying to stop his voice from shaking.
“Baby don’t go not without telling me what’s wrong.” I said.
“I ha e to be up for work in 2 hours.” Gerard sniffed.
I sighed and decided to let Gerard get on with whatever and hoped that he was still alive when I got back.
“Okay baby, I love you too and stay safe as well.” I said and I could hear Gerard smile.
“Bye baby.” I said softly.
“Bye.” Gerard whispered and the phone hung up and now I was really worried about Gerard and his mental state.
I lead back in my bed and thought of Gerard until I fell asleep.
I woke up and went over to the hospital and sat with Ollie who was in a bad way thanks to the failure of the mission.
“You better pull through this you son of a bitch.” I said quietly as I looked at him and then looked round the tent and sighed since out of the team I pretty much came out unharmed for some reason but it doesn’t stop the guilt that pretty much everyone got hurt but me.
“Frank.” I heard someone say and I turned my head and saw Queenie and another man stood next to him.
“What’s going on?” I asked as I stood up.
“It’s Gerard.” Queenie said and I frowned at him.
“What about him?” I asked confused as I only spoken to him a couple of hours ago.
“He’s in hospital.” The other man said and now I am very confused.
“I only spoke to him last night, yeah he seemed a bit down but that’s how Gerard has been since I left. Why is he in hospital?” I said getting worried now.
“We don’t know the details, we was only told he was in hospital because he put you down for his next of kin.” The man said and I frowned.
“I need to leave.” I said seriously not even thinking about anything but Gerard.
“When the plane leaves with these guys then you’ll be on it.” Queenie said and I nodded as that was one less thing to worry about.
“When does the plane leave?” I asked.
“You’ve got an hour to get your shit together.” Queenie said and I glared at him.
“Have you got any letters for me? I mean I must be missing at least 30 letters from Gerard.” I said seriously and Queenie nodded and handed me and load of letters.
I went to turn around when Queen spoke.
“I’m sorry Frank. Maybe I should of listened to you.” Queenie said and I stopped walking and looked at him.
“And now all my friends are probably going to die because of your big head and you will ha e to live with the guilt for the rest of your life.” I said as I turned round and walked away to my bunk to sort my stuff out.
———————————————————————————————————————
As soon as the plane landed I headed straight to the hospital not bothering to change or take my rucksack home.
I walked through the hospital and frowned to myself as I had no clue where Gerard would be so I headed towards the desk and hoped they could tell me.
“Excuse me.” I said the person behind the desk looked up just as I was taking my beret off.
“I’m looking for my partner, I was informed that he was in hospital.” I said and the person nodded as they carried on staring at me.
“Look, I’m very tired right now and now wouldn’t be the time to cross me so can you tell me where my partner is or doing I have to go looking round the hospital for him.” I said and the person smiled.
“What’s your partners name?” The person asked.
“Way, Gerard Way.” I said as I looked round the hospital as it felt like I had eyes on me but everyone was busy doing their own thing.
“Okay sir, he’s on the 3rd floor in the intensive care ward.” The person said and I nodded as I put my beret back on.
“Thank you.” I said as I picked my bag up and headed towards the lift and got inside it and it was then when I realized that maybe I should of showered before coming here but right now I couldn’t care what civilians thought of me.
It was also very obvious that I have gotten back from duty as I was also very very tanned which will probably last a while.
The lift got to my floor and I walked out and headed towards the ward Gerard was in and I walked into the ward and over to the desk.
The nurse behind the desk looked up and smiled at me as I once again took my beret off as I smiled at her.
“How can I help you sir?” The nurse asked.
“I was told my partner would be up here.” I said as I set my bag on the floor since it weighed a bit since it had most of my stuff inside.
“Okay, what’s the name of your partner?” The nurse asked.
“Way, Gerard Way. I was informed he was admitting into hospital last night.” I said and the nurse smiled at me.
“Look like you need looking at as well.” The nurse said and I frowned and looked down noticing my war wound had come unstitched.
“It’s fine, I got it seen to where I was.” I said brushing it off.
“I can’t ha e you on the ward with it bleeding I’m afraid. Either you get stitched up or you don’t come on the ward.” The nurse said and I sighed out of annoyance.
“Fine stitch me up if you must.” I said and i put my beret back on and picked my bag up and followed the nurse to a room.
I sat on the chair and again took my beret off only this time I was putting it in my bag and it was staying off.
I rolled my sleeve up and waited for the nurse to stitch me up.
“Rough tour I take it?” The nurse said as she sat down and started to stitch my wound up.
“Not allowed to talk about it.” I said seriously and the nurse backed off from that question.
“How long was you away for?” The nurse asked.
“6 long months.” I said and the nurse chuckled.
“I know that feeling, my other half has just started their 6 month tour.” The nurse said and looked at me to see if I could give her any insight on what it’s like there but she saw I wasn’t going to give anything away.
“There that’s you stitched back up again, now would you like me to take you to your partner.” The nurse said and I smiled.
“Yes please.” I said as I rolled my sleeves down and picked my bag up and followed the nurse to where Gerard was.
We got outside of a room but I couldn’t look in since the blinds was closed.
“Mr Way is in a very bad way and it’s still touch and go if he will make it.” The nurse said and I looked at her.
I looked back at the door and opened it and stepped inside and I couldn’t help but gasp at the sight I saw and I didn’t even noticed that Johanna was here with the baby which she had while I was away.
“Frank.” I heard Johanna say as she walked over to me and caught hold of my hand which made me look at her.
“What the fuck happened?” I asked seriously trying to keep my cool.
“I don’t know Frank, I was taking Cas round because Gee helps me sometimes and I found him just by your place.” Johanna said and I frowned.
I walked over and caught hold of Gerard’s hand.
“I thought you would still be on tour.” Johanna said carefully as she didn’t really know me that well and she also had the baby with her.
“A mission went tits up and load of us got hurt. I got told about Gee and was allowed to leave only because I would be on my bosses ass telling him he fucked up badly.” I said quietly.
“I’m sorry to hear that Frank.” Johanna said and I looked at her and smiled.
“How has baby been doing? I can’t remember his name as Gerard’s letters don’t come in order or come in a huge bundle.” I said and Johanna chuckled.
“Caspian, but he’s doing amazing Frank. He’s in the pram asleep if you want to finally meet him.” Johanna said and I smiled and reluctantly let go of Gerard’s hands and looked in the pram.
“He’s gorgeous Johanna, how old is he?” I said and looked at Johanna who had a proud smile on her face.
“He’s just coming up to 5 months.” Johanna said and I smiled as I walked back over to Gerard.
“How’s this one been? I spoke to him the other day and he sounded like a mess.” I said quietly as I moved some hair from his eyes.
“His boss has been horrible to him.” Johanna said and I looked at her.
“Look I’m not going to tell you what Gee has told me, you need to focus on yourself and on Gee.” Johanna said and I looked at Gerard’s arms and noticed them having bandages on them.
“He’s been self harming.” I said seriously and quietly.
“To be honest Gee has been pretty unstable since you’ve been gone and has been in hospital at least twice a month. Frank I promise I’ve tried my hardest to be here for him but with a baby in tow now it’s hard work, I’ve even stayed round yours but Cas was still a tiny baby and I need to put my baby first.” Johanna said and I smiled at her which she returned.
“I understand, you just focus on you and Cas. I’m here now to focus on Gee.” I said quietly and Johanna smiled at me.
“Okay, I feel comfortable now your here to leave him. Is there anything you want me to get you?” Johanna asked.
“Nope, I’ve got everything I need in my rucksack.” I said and Johanna frowned at me.
“I’ll be okay for 72 hours. That’s when my supplies run out.” I said and Johanna chuckled quietly.
“I’ll leave you two be. You’ve got a lot to talk about, even if it’s one way conversation.” Johanna said and I smiled and Johanna got the pram and she left us alone.
I sighed loudly and sat in the chair.
is this being continued? x
12/14/18