Gerard’s POV

I woke up and I had the smell of bacon filling the apartment which made me smile sadly as this was going to be the last time for a year that I was going to get breakfast in bed.
I was getting out of bed when Frank walked in.
“Where you going?” Frank asked.
“I have to pee, so please move before I piss myself.” I said as I did the pee dance that everyone does when they are about to piss themselves.
Frank chuckled as he stepped out the way and I ran to the toilet and had the best piss of my life.
After I washed my hands I went back to the bedroom where Frank was sat on the bed waiting for me to come back.
“Feel better now?” Frank chuckled and I smiled at him as I nodded.
“Much better.” I said as I picked my mug up and had a sip of coffee and a load of emotions came rushing over me but I swallowed them down with the coffee and put a brave face on.
“Okay so I know we haven’t really been together for that long.” Frank said and I smiled at him.
“Today is 11 months.” I whispered as I looked down but I felt Frank’s finger under my chin and made me look at him.
“I wouldn’t give up a anniversary up for anything but I have to go when I’ve been called to duty.” Frank said softly and I smiled at him.
“I know.” I said quietly as Frank got off the bed and I started to eat a bit of the breakfast Frank had made for me.
“Okay so I know 11 months isn’t a long time and the fact I’ve been away for most of it but I was saving this for our 12 month anniversary but since I’m not going to be here I thought I would give you this now.” Frank said as he walked back over to the bed and sat down as he placed a black box in front of me.
I quickly swallowed what was in my mouth and picked up the box and opened it.
“Is this a engagement ring?” I asked and Frank smiled as he shook his head.
“Close but not quite. It’s a promise ring.” Frank said as I looked at him.
“When we first met I thought that you would stay as my one night stand, but I’m so glad that something more than just the one night stand happened. I know that me being away for long periods of time is scary and if I didn’t love my job so much and my job being a huge part of my life then I honestly would leave but I also know you wouldn’t want me to do that. Yes the risk of me coming home in a box is great but I know you understand that risk as well. I want to promise you that I will try my hardest to come home to you, I also promise that when I get back I will ask you to marry me.” Frank said and I lent forward and kissed him hard.
“Just don’t get yourself blown up please whatever you do.” I whispered against his lips as I kissed Frank a bit harder.

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Me and Frank got to where we was meant to be and we met up with the rest of Frank’s team.
“Got nobody to say goodbye too?” Frank asked this person who looked like he should still be at school.
“Nope, just a kid from the system that nobody cares about.” The person said and Frank looked at the older man.
“Good thing we care about you.” Ollie said and pulled the man into a sideways hug.
I stayed as close as I could to Frank’s side and he had his hand in my back pocket.
Frank’s team got called up and I looked at Frank and smiled at him.
“I’ve got to go.” Frank said quietly and he pulled me into a hug which I returned and held onto him tight and breathed in his scent for the last for a year.
“Please stay safe.” I said and Frank nodded and he kissed me which I returned and it had to of been one of my favorite kisses me and Frank have shared.
“I love you.” Frank whispered against my lips as he kissed me again.
“I love you too.” I said quietly as Frank stepped back and took hold of his stuff and he looked back at me and I couldn’t help but smile proudly at him.
Frank returned my smile as we watched the group of men walk off.

“You okay Gerard?” Someone asked and I turned and saw Ollie’s wife Jasey looking at me.
“Yeah. I’m okay.” I said quietly as I started to mess with my ring.
“Did Frank get down on one knee?” Jasey asked and I couldn’t help but chuckle as I looked at her.
“No, it’s a promise ring, he promised that he will ask me when he come back in a year.” I said quietly as I looked at the ring.
“Me and the girls are going to go and get a drink if you want to join us?” Jasey asked and I shook my head.
“I have some things I need to do, maybe next time.” I said and Jasey smiled.
“That sounds like a plan, but if you want someone to talk to who understands this then I’m always here okay. Me and the girls are here to support each other even you.” Jasey said and I smiled.
“Thanks Jasey.” I said quietly and Jasey pulled me into a hug which I returned.
“You’re actually a lot taller than what I thought you was.” Jasey said and I couldn’t help but chuckle at this.
“Think even Frank forgets that I’m actually taller than him.” I said and Jasey chuckled a little.
“Well Frank is a bit of a short ass.” Jasey said and I smiled sadly.
“Well if you want to join us for a drink before we pick kids up from school then you are more than welcomed to join us.” Jasey said and I nodded.
“Thanks Jasey.” I said quietly as I turned round and walked slowly home.

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I was busy cleaning the house with the music playing loudly when I turned round and saw Johanna standing by the kitchen table watching me.
“How the fuck did you get into my house?” I asked and Johanna put the keys on the kitchen side and I looked at her again.
“Your boyfriend was worried that you would do something stupid so I said I would keep you company for the first couple of weeks without him being here.” Johanna said and I frowned at her.
“I’m not going to do anything stupid.” I said quietly.
“Gee, it is 5 in the morning.” Johanna sighed loudly.
“No it’s not it’s 11pm.” I said and I looked at the time and I saw it was in fact 5 in the morning.
“Oh, Maybe it is 5 in the morning. But anyway I’m not tired and I have shit ton of cleaning to do so you are welcomed to crash on the sofa.” I said quickly.
“Gerard have you been taking your medication?” Johanna asked more seriously as she stood in front of me and getting my attention.
“Answer the question Gerard.” Johanna said seriously.
“I haven’t taken them today. My medication has gone down as well. Too many thoughts are going around and I can’t fucking stop them.” I said as I threw my fist down onto the side which made Johanna jump.
“Where do you keep them? Do you have any PRN Incase the tablets don’t work.” Johanna said softly.
“Bathroom, there should be a tin in the cupboard with my meds in it.” I said quickly and Johanna smiled.
“Come and sit in the sitting room.” Johanna said and I nodded and followed her into the sitting room and sat on the sofa while Johanna got my medication.
A few moments later she came back and she looked at me.
“Take these and ill get you some water.” Johanna said softly as she walked out the room and came back in with a glass of water where she handed it to me.
“Better?” Johanna asked softly and I shrugged my shoulders because I still had no clue how I was feeling.

“Let’s get you to bed.” Johanna said softly and I got up and walked on my own to my room and I stood by the bed and looked at it before some tears rolled down my cheeks and I climbed onto the bed and I cried myself to sleep.

Notes