Want You Bad.

I get up and, wait- where is his stuff? – I look into the bathroom, but just like anticipated, he’s not there.
Well, damn. Is my brother really that much of a heartless asshole?
He lets me fuck him and then runs away?!
Tears well up in my eyes.
I grab a towel and go take a shower.
As soon as I’m done, my phone rings.
Frank.
“Hey Frank.”
“Hey Mikes, we want to go out. Wanna come?”
Am I in the mood to face Gerard?
“Yeah sure, be down in a sec… Bye.”
Think first, then speak, Mikey. Oh well. Too late now.
“Bye, Mikey!”
Then he hangs up.
Okay. Put on clothes. Go downstairs. Talk to Gerard?
Talk about why he ran off?
We’ll see, I guess.
Down in the foyer I make my way over to the guys and greet Ray and Frank with a “Hey” and look at Gerard.
… But it’s like I’m not even there.
X x x
We’re somewhere in the middle of town.
I think neither of us really knows where we are, but it’s not like it matters.
Gerard succeeds in ignoring me the entire time.
Ray seems oblivious to it, but Frank knows that something is up.
Every few minutes, he looks between me and Gerard with a concerned face.
“GUYS!” Ray shouts, which makes me jump.
“What?!” I say, somewhat annoyed. It’s not like he has to shout, I mean we’re right next to him.
“There’s a videogame store!”
Oh yeah, Ray and his videogames. Okay, I’m not any better myself.
“Lets get inside,” Frank giggles enthusiastically.
“I’ll wait here, I feel kinda sick,” says Gerard.
Sick?
“Okay, Mikey, you stay here with your brother then,” Frank settles. I want to say something, but he and Ray are already gone.
Alright Mikey, how about using that chance to talk to him.
He’s still just your brother, God damnit.
“Mikey…”
…or he’s doing the job.
“Yes?”
“Is everything okay?”
Does he even need to ask?
“Yeah sure, why should there be something wrong with me?” I mumble, sounding insanely unmotivated.
“Okay well, I thought you were angry or mad or something.”
Me? Angry? Mad at Gerard? Because we had sex and he ran off after and had been ignoring me ever since? No way, why should I be mad.
Did I say that out loud? Whoops.
“Why?”
“What?”
Jesus Christ, Gee.
“Well why did you leave, then? Did you get that it was a mistake after all and decided to ignore me from now on?”
“I wasn’t ignoring you!”
“Yeah right. You wouldn’t even look at me, Gee!”
“Well excuse me for talking to Ray and Frank, won’t happen again.” Pure sarcasm.
“Ha, ha. I’m serious.”
“Mikey.”
He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, looking kind of helpless.
“Yes, I was a bit terrified this morning,” he says quietly and looks down at his feet. “And yes, I might have been avoiding you.”
He might? I bite down on my lip and don’t say anything.

Notes