Just look over your shoulder

Mikey.
If I was to explain what Mikey Way means to me, I’d be at a loss. Simply because there are no words to describe how beautiful and perfect he is to me, or how deep my feelings for him reach. This is more than love. It’s the greatest feeling one can feel for another person. But I’ll try and explain it anyway, starting with the obvious. Mikey is incredibly handsome to me. Others might say he walks funny, say his legs and arms are a little too long for his body, but I think it makes him look graceful. His hair is the most important part of his body to himself, and that’s why I also love it the most. He always makes sure to do something with it, be it one of his adorable braided strands or some flower jewellery he put in it. I love that it looks so thin and soft but feels rough and strong against my fingers. I love the sandy color of it and the way he brushes his bangs over his forehead when he doesn’t notice that he’s doing it. I love that the structure is different than mine, slightly curly and not just straight down. I like how his hair smells, even after a few days of not washing it. It always smells like sand and coconut and it always feels warm, no matter what time of the day it is. Next thing is his face. I love how he has grown into this beautiful, handsome man over the years. His jaw got stronger and more defined when he reached puberty and later adulthood. I love his eyes that always look a little sleepy, even though he’s wide awake, and how soft his eyebrows feel when I stroke over them with my thumb in a moment of importance. Mikey knows what these exact moments are. I adore how he looks when he squeezes his eyes together, even after all this time without his glasses when the sun is too bright outside. Sometimes I’m still mesmerized by their color and how it seems to change when the sun sets and the waves crash more quietly against the beach, whilst the jungle behind us grows louder and louder. I love his nose and his mouth, his fairly thin lips that can do so much more than just smile and kiss me. I love his narrow shoulders and flat thorax, I marvel how his ribs feel under his tanned skin and how his spine sometimes pokes out when he moves in a funny way. I adore his tiny waist and sharp hipbones, the way they feel when I curl my palms around them and how they look when he doesn’t wear anything to cover them... I can never get enough of that. I love his legs and arms that look both so thin but are yet so strong. I love his fragile looking hands, his long and clever fingers and that tiny little freckle on one of his toes that I know he hates and finds ugly. I love his body hair, the soft, light blond curls on his almost bronzed skin of his legs, his dark pubic hair and the coarse hair on his lower belly, under his arms and even the little soft hair right under his tailbone that he finds strange and stupid looking. Another obvious thing is his voice. The way he laughs and talks seemingly through his nose most of the time is beauty in my eyes and ears, his voice has always been one of a kind and I know he’s sometimes embarrassed about it, but I find it mesmerizing and alluring. I love how he sounds when he talks in a low voice late at night and how he sounds when he calls me Gee. I’m fond of how he sounds when we have sex, or when he giggles or sneezes. I even love how he sounds when we’re fighting and his voice reaches another octave. It’s just fascinating what can come out of such a slim yet tall body. And that’s another thing. The fact that he’s taller than me by a few inches. I might be the older brother, but he’s the taller brother, and I’m absolutely okay with that. Things that are not obvious to the eye that I love about Mikey are simple things like the way he thinks. He’s so smart and clever, always has been, and he sometimes causes the air to rush out of my lungs when he seemingly creates another world with just his words. I love how he sees everything around him, how he only tries to see the best in people and is open to any idea that is brought to him.
I sometimes tear up from emotion in a quiet moment when I secretly watch him cuddle with Autumn. Right from the start, I was so in love looking at the both of them together, right from the moment he held her for the first time, carried her like she was something precious to him, and I know that’s exactly what she is to him. It’s pure joy to watch when he gently strokes over her tiny fingers or tickles her belly when they play. I love that he always, without any excuses, kisses her goodbye before she goes off to play in the jungle with her sister and I love how proudly he talks about her with such pure happiness in his voice.
I love that he sometimes gets sad but always lets me cheer him up, comes to me voluntarily and wants to be held. I love how he smells and how he looks when he pulls his knees up his chest, curls his long and thin arms around them and smiles at me. I love that his teeth look a little crooked and out of the ordinary. I love how adorably sweet he looks in that yellow dress. God... there are so many things that I love about him, and I could go on forever, but the most important thing about me loving him, is that he is Mikey... and I love that he fell in love with me. As soppy as it might sound. But it’s true. He is Mikey Way, the only person in my life that I would ever admit my pure and honest love to.
He is my entire life. Sometimes it’s as simple as that, and I’m the luckiest person on this earth to be able to say that he chose me.
As we were in the beginning, are now, and ever shall be. World without end.

Notes