Hurt Me More

Frank's pov

"I know, Pete, I already called the doctor." I said as I cleaned up the living room a bit. Pete sat on the couch as he scrolled through his computer. He had a friend that worked in Child Protective Services so he could look up more information on Gerard.

"I just want to make sure Gerard doesn't have another... accident." Pete said as he pulled up a few things. "I found his profile."

"Let me see." I said and took the laptop, scrolling through the file.

I read through his basic information. His birthday, age, eye and hair color. Everything looked normal until I got to the case file.

"What are these?" I asked, looking at Pete who shrugged and opened them.

"Gerard Arthur Way, age 9 when taken out of his fathers home. There was many signs of abuse leading to his fathers arrest soon after Gerard was out of the home." Pete read, my heart felt like it was in my throat as he kept reading. "Couldn't contact the mother so Gerard was put into foster care where he was also abused by some families. His only coping mechanism was anger."

"Oh god... I never knew." I mumbled sadly, Pete patted my back.

"It's okay, you didn't have the information to even know and Gerard never told you."

"But still... I treated him like a baby and I probably put him through some traumatic experiences. I fucked up big time." I said, getting up from the couch so I could see Gerard.

"Where are you going?" Pete asked but I didn't stop as I made my way to the nursery.

When I opened the door I smiled when I saw Gerard all curled up in bed as he hugged his stuffed bear. He looked so cute and innocent it made my heart melt.

"Gee baby, wake up." I said softly, shaking him a little. He whined softly and swatted my hand away as he rolled over. "Wake up sleepy head."

"Don't wanna." He grumbled sleepy. I chuckled and scooped him up before walking over to the chair and set him down in it.

"Gee, please wake up, we need to talk."

"Okay..." He yawned and rubbed his eyes before looking at me.

"So I uh... I read up on your files." I said a bit awkwardly. I watched as his eyes widened and his bottom lip started to quiver.

"I-I get it if you want me to leave..." He mumbled as he stood up. I could see tears welling in his eyes now as he tried pushing past me.

"Hey, Gee, I didn't mean to upset you." I said as I gripped his wrists gently so he would stop pushing me.

"Well you did so fuck off and let me go." He snapped before shoving me out of the way.

"Gerard, please, I just wanted to talk." I said as I hurried behind him.

"Fuck off, I don't wanna talk about that."

"Gerard." I said sternly, making him pause for a second before continuing down the hall. "Gerard, stop." I snapped making him freeze and slowly turn to look at me. Tears were sliding down his face as he started at me.

"I'm so pathetic..." He sobbed as he slowly slid down the wall, hugging his knees to his chest. His body shook as he broke down.

"No... Gerard, you're not pathetic." I said as I sat down next to him, not touching him yet.

"I-I am pathetic... I-I can't e-even talk about w-what happening without c-crying."

"That stuff that happened was terrible and I don't want you to feel ashamed for crying. Everyone cries, it helps to let it all out." I said softly as I rested my hand in his shoulder.

"I f-feel weak when I cry... I-it reminds me of t-those days... w-when I lived with m-my father." He mumbled, tears still slid down his face as he glanced up at me though his hair. "I-I hated it... the p-pain, the hate... everything."

"I know, Gee, but it's okay now, I got you." I assured, surprised when he leaned against me.

"E-every night I w-would hope that e-everything would be okay... t-that mom would come back, father w-would stop hurting me... that Mikey w-would be there with me. I j-just wanted a normal family, I-I wanted to feel loved... that's all I've e-ever wanted."

I kept silent as he talked, my heart breaking even more. Everything that he's been through has clearly played a big role on how he acts now. It's how he coped with everything, it's the only way he knows how.

"You are loved..."

"By who? M-my mom didn't want me a-and my dad hates me. He told me that I was a waste of space and I still believe that."

"I love you... you're not a waste of space either." I mumbled, looking into his watery eyes. Gerard stared back at me before wrapping his arms around me tightly as he hugged me.

"T-thank you." I heard him whisper against my chest. I smiled and hugged him back, running my hand through his hair.

"I'm sorry I made you act like a baby and stuff." I said awkwardly after awhile.

"It's okay... I kinda liked it." He mumbled, I could see him blushing as he pulled away and looked down. "It made me feel safe, like I was having the childhood I never had."

"Well I'm glad... let's get off the ground." I said and scooped him up, walking with him in my arms as I brought him downstairs.

"F-Frank?" Gerard mumbled against my chest.

"Yeah honey?"

"I-I love you too..." He said just above a whisper.

I just smiled and kissed the top of his head as I walked into the kitchen, completely forgetting that Pete was even here still. When I saw him he gave me a knowing look and left silently through the front door with a smile wave.

"Okay baby, what do you want to eat for lunch?" I asked as I set him in the high chair.

"Mac and cheese?" He said hopefully, not even minding that he was in the high chair.

"Anything for you." I chuckled and ruffled his hair before getting to work on making lunch.

Gerard played with his stuffed bear happily. Everything from earlier seemed to fade away and was replaced with a more happy mood.

~~~~~

"C-can I sleep with you tonight? I-I don't wanna wake up alone if I have a nightmare." Gerard said against my chest. We were cuddling on the couch as we watched some Disney movies.

"Sure Gee, speaking of sleep I should probably get you ready for bed." I chuckled when I looked at the time, it was way past his bed time.

"Up." He mumble sleepily against my chest as he made grabby hands. I chucked and scooped him up, he snuggled against me happily.

I walked upstairs and into his room, changing him into his night onesie that had puppies on it. He looks so cute I couldn't even imagine Gerard not being innocent.

Carrying him to my room I changed quickly before tucking us both into bed. Gerard snuggled against my side, resting his head on my chest as he slept. I kissed his forehead before closing my eyes as well.

"Sweat dreams, love."

Notes

Not Edited