Look live sunshine

I look at the girl who sits next to me. She is silent at her place, in her matte book it is the row after a series of short and simple equations y + 1 + x. I look at my own where there are gaps of noise with numbers and calculations that are five year courses over me and yet it's too easy. I am sucking and looking through the window. We are seven floors up in the white building which is our school. The teacher Professor Lesling sits along the back of her cats she is looking out over the class to see everyone's hand. And they do them, everyone is sitting straight in the back with their heads a bit downhill and solves their task. Everyone except I'm sitting with my chin support against my hand and is not the least interested. But she has stopped caring for me I'm what she calls "a hopeless case" someone who can never learn discipline. But what should she do? I am the best student in school.
It speaks in the speaker
- I congratulate our police for an excellent job, says a woman in the speaker, it is Jennipher Matus she is the leader of our country.
A long time ago, the U.N ruled democracy people voted. They vote for a leader and it worked for 200 years until they chose a leader who refused to leave when he was going and then no more Votings. When a leader dies, the children pass over and become the new one and s they continue.
- Our police have managed to take another camp for the so-called rebels, as they call themselves. And now we are striving to put the core of them down, she continues.
My parents were rebels they struggle hard to bring back the old system that they wanted me and everyone in my generation to vote. But they got murdered and I was thrown into a orphanage.
On my way home from school I have to get through lots of narrow alleys. Some are so narrow that I have to go aside to not destroy my white school uniform. Then Mrs. Shepher, they own the children's home, would give me poke until my back and knee folds are as red as tomatoes.
As I get out of the narrowest alley, I see a white painted car, it has the old flag on one side and lots of stickers and sentences painted on it. But what captures my eyes is the outline of a spider on the hood. The rebel's logo I tense my the jaws, it's dangerous for them to be in town for all police officers. In most cases they usually cover the hood or all marks so the police don't see them. I decide to keep my five-meter distance. I'm trying watching into the car but the gurgling sun is reflected in the glass. I take a step forward and see an unnatural redhead man or boy fits better. He seems to be somewhere around 20. He’s eating from a can, it doesn't look good, but he eats it. Wonder how much hair color he used? Suddenly he looks up at me, he has bright green eyes, they cut a bit against his hair. I freez. I can not touch me, I'm just tense throughout my body and I'm holdin hard around the strap of my bag. He putt the can down and then he opens the door. A heavy boot on the ground then two he gets up. He's taller than I thought a gun hangs in his belt. He wipes his hands clad hands against a black t-shirt with cut sleeves. I take a firm grip on the bag. He first looks bored at me as if I was just a little mosquito on his arm. But the more he looks at me, the more he seems to be interested.
- What's your name? Hi asks me.
- huh? I answered.
- What's your name? he asks and articulates on each syllable.
I do not know when or if I decided to answer
- Lo, I say quietly.
A smile breaks out over his lips.
- What's your last name?! He sounds like a child. A child how going to know something grown up.
- Lewis Shepher, I regret it.
I should not talk to him. I'm going to get out punished, and not a bit. Mrs Shepher has always said that I'm a shame and gave me extra mutch over the years.
- The Lewis? Like in "My mom and dad are Peter and Sara" ?!
Some other boys, as old as he, come against us they have bags over their shoulders. They don’t have as colorful hair as he infront of me. But I see that they are colored. I take one step backwards.
- Wait! he says.
But I'm already gone, I'm running to the child’s home.
- Wait! I hear him behind me.
I've got one turn the I'm coming over the street they're only ten meters left and I'm inside the door.
I run through the door. I’m safe here Mrs Shepher in the kitchen she cooks enough food for the youngest. I look carefully through the look hole in the door. He stands in the shadows among the alleys I see his green eyes sparkle and shadows of his red hair. I breathe out and turn around. Shepherd's angry face stands in front of me, automatically I look down in the floor to show respect.
- You're late, he said bored and easily irritated.
- It was trouble on the way, I say.- Sir, you should always address me Sir, he looks at me more annoyed now.
- I'm sorry Sir,
He nods and says - Dinner in half an hour,
- "Yes, Sir," I say, going up the stairs to the upper floor.
I'm one of those few lucky who and get my bed by the window. They also means get an element at the bedside table. I roll up the blind and let the warm light flow in. Then I take my books and start working. I don’t really have homework but I want to do something. And play with the other girls has never attracted me.
- It's food! Mrs Shepher skrams.
She stands down the stairs with her hands around her mouth. I collapse my books and start rolling down the curtain so that there isn't hot in the hall. Just as I grab the curtain to pull it down I see the car with the spider and I freez. A guy with shoulder-length curly hair looks straight at me. Or I think so, I do not see his eyes because of his black sunglasses. We stand and look at each other in what feels like eternity.- Come on down here right away! Mrs Shepher is going up trho the stairs. I'm get out of my hypnosis and notice that they are standing other around around the guy with the sunglasses, they too are looking at me. I quickly drag down the roller blind and turn around. She stands there with her arms crossed.
- We'll talk about your actions tonight. You can not sit and look out through the window all day! she says quickly and annoyed.
When she says “we will talk about this” she means I'm going to be spanked. I stretch my jaws and look down the floor.
- It will not happen again, I'll answer her.
- I hope so!
My knees fold hurts as I get up the stairs. The other kids always think I've never been spanked by Mrs and Mr Shepher because they never hear me scream or see the scars. But it's just because I never show it I always cover my knees or backs and I don’t scream, not like them. But tonight I can’t be strong. I close the door after me and sink down to the floor, I don’t cry but I'm not quite. Someone lights the lamp one of the older ones.
- Has she been punished? asking someone curious.
- What do you think?! answers someone else.
- Now she feel how they feel! She is no longer their favorite, says a boy by far.
Does he think I'm Mrs and Mr favorite? They give me double as much.
- Yes, she has been hit many times! says a girl.
- Can you please shut up, I said angry.
And it gets so quiet that you can hear a pinnacle fall. They're probably scared of me, we're told that there's something wrong with the rebels, that they're mentally ill and can not control their anger so they're afraid I'll get an outbreak. So I suck it up and get up to my bed without touching a mine. Someone shuts off the lamp and I have switch to my sleep clothes in the dark. A white t-shirt and matching shorts is it I sleep in. I lay down under my blanket and wait, I know they will happen soon.
I wake up it's dark in the room and everyone seems to sleep. I'm watching my digital wristwatch 2:28 am it says. I sigh and turn around in bed so the springs cracks.My thoughts go into the red-haired guy. I hear his voice in my head and see his red hair in front of me. I never knew what his name was. And he seems to know something about me, something about my parents. I lie and twist and turn me in bed. Trying to let go of him and the others. But it does not work. After a while, I sits on my knees at the window and lift the roller blind. Their car is parked among the shadows in the alley. It looks like they have covered the hood to not be seen.
I put my shoes on, I've decided. I will ask them some questions about my parents. I sneak down the stairs and enter the kitchen I carefully pull out boxes until I find a small and sharp knife. But never know, they can jump on me. I run across the street my knees fail hurts because of the dust I kick up. I stand at the edge of the house to see if they are there.
- Gerarg come on now we can’t be here forever, it's too risky, says the guy with the curly hair.
- I know! But I promise it was a Lewis. She looked like Sara, said the guy with the red hair Gerarg. I get a lump in my throat when I hear my mother's name.
- It was sunny you had not drunk enough water. She looks like her but it wasn’t, says the guy with black hair.
- No Frank! Stop it she was. She even said she was called... Gerarg gets interrupted by the guy he calls Frank.
- She said she was called Shepher! Drop it their Lo died with them! Okay she's dead!
Gerarg looks sad. He looks as if he lost all hope.
- Frank ... begins the guy with the curly hair.
- What! Frank said to him.
- She's standing there, he said, pointing at me.
I take a step beck quick. But it's too late everyone looks at me. A guy with bright tops in his hair comes against me.
- Please, Mikey, said Frank.
I pick up my knife and direct it about them. The guy with the with the bright tops Mikey starts laughing.
- Come on, he says calmly, grabbing my arm.
- Let me go! I say and try to cut him with the knife.
But all I do is a slight oblique over his hand. He does not even notice the ones.
Gearge walks in front of me while Mikey walks next to me and Frank and he with curly hair goes behind me.
- What have you done with your knee fold ?! Frank asks.
- She's got a punished, said the guy with curly hair without blinking.
- Do you have to be so insensitive Ray? Gearge ask.
- Comon it's just the facts, nothing else she'll blame yourself, Ray says.I bite together. The tears burn under the eyelids.
- It was because I talk to you, I say quietly, pushing away my anger.
Everybody stops and I almost go in to Gearge. He turns around quickly.
- What did you say?! Asking Gearge.
I briefly explain what happened.
- And yet you go out here again? Asks Ray
- I have some questions, I say.
- Me too, says Gearge.
- Howe a desperate one get! says Ray.
- How do you know my parents? I wonder without caring about Ray's comment.
- We lived with them when we were young, and until they were killed, said Mikey.
- Do not you have any memories of us? Asks RayI look down into the ground and say
-I just remember how they looked.
-We played with you several times, Frank says
-I got a brainwash after the explosion! I barely know where I am from! I scream.
Ray puts his hand over my mouth.
- Shut up! The police guard this area as hawks!
Everybody looks around for movement. They are holding the guns in ther belts.
- I don’t think they heard, whisper Mikey.They turn to me.
- How old are you? asks frank.
- I 11 in September, I mumble.
Mikey starts counting his fingers. Then he nods to Frank and Ray.
-What is your full name? Asks Ray.
I'm sucking I do not like to say it because I got all my names from mom.
- Lo Jenifer Lewis.
- What do you remember from your childhood? Frank asks.
I'm thinking back, I don’t remember anything. Just my parents and a petrolmack. I look at my watch 4:37 am, at 5:00 am Mr. Shepher walks up and takes his morning coffee. I have to get into the dormitory before that. Frank looks at me.- You really do not remember anything! He says scared.-Of corse she fucking remembers, says Gearge. He has been leaning against the car and just observed me.
- I have to go, I say.
- What why?! Asks Ray
- Mr. Shepher wakes up soon and if he finds out I've been out he will ... I don’t finish the sentence I don’t think I need.
Gearge nots and I run back.
- She's not the one she says she is, I hear Ray say.
It's burns in my chest. I don’t want to hear what the others say about that. They are my only hope.

Notes