This Is How I Disappear

"Frank!" I woke up to my mother's screaming. "Get out of there now!"

"Mom, what?" My mind was still muddled from lack of sleep.

"You've been in the bathroom since I got up! How long have you been in there?"

"Not that long!" I lied. I didn't have to explain further, she didn't really care. No, all that mattered to her was that I was an inconvenience at best. I'd wasted her precious minutes to beautify herself, so I needed out now.

"Well get out, your father's going to be late for work and you're going to be late to school!" Ha, as if she actually cares if I make it to school on time.

"Linda!" My father yelled up the stairs. "Leave him alone, you yelling isn't helping anything!"

"Well you laying in your boxers sure isn't helping!" She shot right back at him.

I tried to block out my parents arguing as I slipped out the bathroom door. My mother had her back towards me so she didn't see when I slipped noiselessy into my bedroom. I locked my door and threw on a clean shirt, not really having the stamina for anything more.

"-and not once have you gotten up to try and help!" My father yelled back at a remark from my mother I didn't catch.

I grabbed my backpack from the corner and lowered myself out of the second story window, not wanting to disturb my still screaming parents. I winced as my ankles hit the ground. They were still sore from the last time I wasn't too careful jumping out the window. Out of the corner of my eye I saw movement. I turned my head slightly to see Ray walking down the sidewalk.

"Frank?" He asked, the concern evident in his voice.

"Yeah Ray?"

"Why'd you jump out the window?" I scratched the back of my neck, not really wanting to answer.

"I, erm, my parents." I stated, hoping he wouldn't press the matter.

I sighed in relief when all I got in return was an "Ah." After a moment he turned towards me and said, "I'm sorry man."

We walked along in silence for awhile. I thought the issue was over with, but he turned towards me and looked like he wanted to say something. He opened his mouth, then closed it. Finally, he said one simple sentence I wasn't sure how to feel about.

"You know, if you ever need to talk to someone I'm here for you." I didn't want anyone's pity. I could deal with my problems on my own, I always have. For some reason, when a silence stretched out between us I felt an anger boiling up inside me. I never asked for his help, why was he so willing to offer it? He must have been faking too. Everyone who was supposed to care for me did it out of necessity, and he was no different.

"I don't need or want your pity!" I cried out eventually. "Please just, just..." My voice cracked and I'm sure he heard it. Tears rushed to my eyes and out of embarresment I turned my back to him. "Leave me alone." I backed away from him and tried to fight the onslaught of tears. Now was not the time to be showing emotion. I left him alone, standing on the sidewalk with a bewildered look on his face, and all I could think about was myself. How great is that?

I entered the school doors and tried to ignore the heads that turned towards me. Everyone's voice lowered at once and I knew they were talking about me. They always did, now was no different. Being the most unpopular kid in school by far, everyone took their opportunity to mske fun of me, even the nerds.

As I approached my locker, a sense of dread filled me. Something was off, but it was too late to do anything about it. My apprehension increased tenfold when I saw the busted lock lying on the ground next to my locker. I really couldn't deal with whatever they've done right now. I backed away and pulled my backpack further up my shoulder. I'd just have to deal with whatever mess they've caused later.

I lowered my gaze as I made my way through the maze of hallways. My first class was at the completely opposite side of the school, so I hurried through the halls as quickly as possible. The teachers here don't care what happens in the hallways, so in between classes you're on your own. I entered room thirty-two, only to be tripped by a foot.

The entire class burst out into laughter. I could feel my face turn red as kids called out names like, "Emo" or "Faggot" or my personal favorite, "Emo faggot". They didn't quiet down until the teacher walked in the room and clapped his hands, instructing everyone what page to turn to.

My eyes scanned the room out of habit, but my gaze froze when I saw the most gorgeous boy I've ever seen. Normally long, black, greasy hair doesn't look good on anyone, much less a guy, but on him it just worked. He had the most breathtaking eyes, and everytime his eyes met mine I swear my heart stopped beating. But no, I don't like him. I'm just captivated because now I'm not the only emo in school.

I just had to know his name. He looked like a Jake, maybe that was his name. I couldn't focus on the lesson at all because my mind always wandered back to this mysterious boy. Something about him left a weird feeling in my stomach I'd never felt before. All day I spaced out, causing several teachers to ask if I was okay. I'm sure I failed any assignments from that day, but I didn't care. All I cared about was him.

Finally the last bell rang and I hurried through the halls, desperate to find him. I guess I should've looked where I was going though, because I ran directly into Brent fucking Davidson.

"Where are you off to in such a hurry faggot?"

I ignored him and tried to push past him, which was in retrospect a horrible idea.

"Hey! I asked you a question." I couldn't bring myself to do more than look up at him. When I didn't respond, he brought his foot around to the back of my knee. Instantly I was on the ground, a very bad place to be when Brent's around. You know how normally you're not supposed to kick a man when he's down? Well apparently that didn't matter to Brent because he kicked my ribs full force.

Again and again he slammed his toes into my ribs. The breath was repeatedly knocked out of me and I knew I was going to be badly bruised. Suddenly Amara came from behind him with a questioning look on her face. Brent looked like a guilty toddler when he turned to face her. They walked off and I could hear Amara saying something in a scolding tone, but frankly I didn'tcare enough to try to make out their words. That wasn't the first time I'd been saved by Brent's girlfriend, and it certianly wouldn't be the last.
Every breath was agonizing, but I forced myself up. I stumbled along until I reached the outisde world. I was barely aware of what was happening around me when I bumped into the new boy. He hit my ribs and I doubled over in pain.

"Oh my god, are you alright?" He had a horrified look on his face, and oddly enough I think he was sincerely worried.

"Fine." I gasped. "Just kinda bruised." I tried to move the conversation forward, and with the stabbing pain in my side the only thing I could think to ask was his name.

"Gerard Way. You sure you're alright?"

"Yeah, honestly." He didn't look convinced. "I'm Frank. So are you new?" What. The. Actual. Fuck. Frank. Of course he's new.

"Nah, just been skipping school for three months."

Is he joking? Why can't I tell if he's joking?

Ray chooses that moment to interupt.

"We need to talk Frank."

"Can it wait?" I asked meekly.

"No." He said as he pulled me along by my sleeve. I tried to wave at Gerard but Ray was pulling me along too fast. I sighed and wondered what could be so urgent.

Notes