Collide with me, please?
The Beginning
July 25th
"It feel like it's been years since she left, since she took Rowan but it's only been thirteen months. I lose track of time easily now, I lost a lot of things but time seems to be the one that I always misplace. I don't mind losing time, it makes me forget how old my daughter is but I can't get her out of my head; her giggle, baby talk, her hazel eyes and blonde hair.
She's a complete mix of Kristin and I, she's beautiful like her mother but has many of my features and knowing that I haven't seen her in over a year pains me; how was her first birthday? Is she talking more? How does she like Kristin's cat? Does she ask about me? I wonder what Kristin will tell her when she asks, if she asks.
I still wear my wedding ring, Kristin doesn't-I've seen photos and she's ringless-but I still wear it because our wedding date is engraved inside it along with her initials and it's always a reminder that she'll come back; I don't believe it much anymore but if you have faith and make your 11:11 wish nightly, it could just happen"
I set my book down, my pen inside it and sat back on the couch of my apartment with my knees in my chest. I lost the house six months after Kristin left because I never paid bills so my brother found me a place to crash at since he and Lindsey were tired of letting me crash on their couch with Bandit around always asking why I looked funny. I let myself go, not my weight but I've gone back into little old habits to kill the boredom that lingers in this place.
The silence gives me time to think things over; past relationships, him, my band, him, my daughter, him, my family, him. Everything connects to him. He ruined my marriage, he ruined me. He is the reason my life became like this. I was so happy and he knew that but he never cared. Not once.
"It feel like it's been years since she left, since she took Rowan but it's only been thirteen months. I lose track of time easily now, I lost a lot of things but time seems to be the one that I always misplace. I don't mind losing time, it makes me forget how old my daughter is but I can't get her out of my head; her giggle, baby talk, her hazel eyes and blonde hair.
She's a complete mix of Kristin and I, she's beautiful like her mother but has many of my features and knowing that I haven't seen her in over a year pains me; how was her first birthday? Is she talking more? How does she like Kristin's cat? Does she ask about me? I wonder what Kristin will tell her when she asks, if she asks.
I still wear my wedding ring, Kristin doesn't-I've seen photos and she's ringless-but I still wear it because our wedding date is engraved inside it along with her initials and it's always a reminder that she'll come back; I don't believe it much anymore but if you have faith and make your 11:11 wish nightly, it could just happen"
I set my book down, my pen inside it and sat back on the couch of my apartment with my knees in my chest. I lost the house six months after Kristin left because I never paid bills so my brother found me a place to crash at since he and Lindsey were tired of letting me crash on their couch with Bandit around always asking why I looked funny. I let myself go, not my weight but I've gone back into little old habits to kill the boredom that lingers in this place.
The silence gives me time to think things over; past relationships, him, my band, him, my daughter, him, my family, him. Everything connects to him. He ruined my marriage, he ruined me. He is the reason my life became like this. I was so happy and he knew that but he never cared. Not once.
Notes
Doing this wonderful fic with AdriannaDias over on Wattpad. (thats her wattpad) My Wattpad is Mymixednuts and if you want to get notified quickly its best to follow her because I will post mine an hour later. Btw dont worry! Cemetery, Hitman's, and Vacant are still being updated. They are just at a halt because of marching band and competition, so theres barely any free time for me and its just at a halt at the moment. This fic came to life between a convo with me and her and we had to act fast ;)
-Jordan
