Your Heart on the Line

After school, Frank met me at my locker. I was hauling books from the top shelf when he walked up, tapping at his wrist as he told, “Let’s go, Gerard.”

“Give me a second, jeez,” I mumbled. I closed my locker door, nodding towards the exit. Once we left the school, Frank asked, “So, are you excited about tonight?”

I shrugged. “I mean, I don’t really know. I’m not sure what to expect.”

“It’ll be fun,” Frank promised, patting me on the back. “Just don’t get super blackout drunk your first time out; it’s a bad idea.”

“You been blackout drunk?” I asked. I never pictured Frank as a huge party type, but now that he told me this, it only made sense.

Frank nodded, stuffing his hands into his pockets as he told, “It was a fun night but a shitty morning, I can tell you that much. I’m stupid when I’m drunk though; I wish someone would’ve watched me a little better.”

“What do you mean?”

Frank shared, “At that party, I…” he blushed, stammering, “I h-happened to take off a lot of my clothing over the course of the night… and I slept with Pete, so… that happened.”

“You’re gay?!” I wanted to hit myself; way to be sensitive, Gerard.

“No, asshole,” Frank countered. “I’m just a bisexual menace of the most deranged kind.” He was quiet for a minute, and then, he asked in a small voice, “Well, you’re into guys… right?”

“I dunno,” I replied honestly. “I haven’t put much thought into it, if I’m being honest. I’m attracted to people.”

“You sure it’s okay that I hang out at your house till the party?” Frank asked. “I mean, I don’t want to intrude or anything.”

“Seriously, it’s fine,” I assured. “I don’t have anything going on, anyways.”

“You don’t have any friends, do you?”

I was quiet for a while. “How’d you know?”

Frank responded earnestly, “That used to be me.”

“How’d you meet your friends now?” I asked.

Frank clicked his tongue, looking up as he tried to recall. “Let’s see! Ray, I met at one of the bars in town… turns out we both frequent what our town has to offer for a punk scene. I met Bert because he was best friends with Ray, and Pete and I were strangers when we slept together, then we dated for a while, but we broke up mutually pretty fast, so now we’re buds.” He paused, and added, “As much shit as I give Pete, I still love that boy. I’d do anything for him.” After another moment’s break, he concluded, “He has a nice cock, too.”

Laughing, I rolled my eyes. “I’m sure.”

“So, you’ve legit never been with anyone, huh?”

I shook my head. “Only dick I’ve seen has been in the locker room.”

“That’s crazy,” Frank mutters. “I mean, you’re really hot.”

I blushed, mumbling, “Thanks.”

“No, it’s true!” Frank insisted. “You’re super attractive. To be honest, it’s why I sat next to you in detention.”

We reached my doorstep, and I stopped once we were at my door. “Well, I’m glad you did.” We exchanged a smile, and I opened the door for him. “You first.” I followed him inside, kicking off my shoes before leading him upstairs. “My room isn’t much but… you know.”

Once we were in my room, Frank began scanning the walls, poking at shelves, the like. “You love comics, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” I replied. “I want to be a comic book artist one day.”

“That’s cool!” Frank told. “I don’t know what I want to be yet, but comic book artist definitely tops whatever I’d come up with.”

I sat on my bed, asking, “You wanna watch TV or something?”

“Sure,” Frank replied. He sat next to me, watching as I flicked through the channels. “You watch Chopped?”

I faced him. “You’re kidding me.”

“What?”

I turned it on, telling, “I fucking love that show.”

After we’ve watched the average person’s weekly dose of Chopped in less than four hours, Pete comes to pick us up in his car, a white Buick Lesabre from the 90s that kinda looks like a beer can after being shotgunned. Frank climbs into the passenger seat as I get in the back. As we drive there, Pete rambles and overshares, “I’m looking to get laid tonight, at the very least make out with someone.”

Frank nodded, advising, “You better have worn nice underwear.”

“I did,” Pete told.

Again, Frank bobbed his head. Pete continued to drive, and Frank teased, “Let me check for you.” With that, he began to paw around Pete’s middle, who struggled to drive the car in a straight line while fending off Frank. “Iero! Cut it out!”

“Let me see the underpants, Pete!” Frank teased. He pulled up on the back of Pete’s underwear, exposing grey Calvin Kleins.

“Ow, Frank, stop!” Pete demanded, trying hard not to laugh himself.

Frank pulled harder for a moment, then releasing him, returning to his own spot in the passenger seat. “Now you can say you’ve gotten a wedgie while driving.”

“Great, that’s something I’ve always wanted to be able to say,” Pete mumbled sarcastically.

“Maybe you should use that as an icebreaker,” I joked.

Pete laughed, and so did Frank. We arrived at the party in one piece, Pete having managed to readjust his pants as we drove down Main Street. We all stepped out, and as soon as we got inside, Frank led me downstairs to the basement, but not without grabbing both of us a drink first. When we got there, Frank got a game of Never Have I Ever going with Bert, Pete, some other kids, and I. Frank told, “I’ll go first, guys. Drink if you have done this. Never have I ever… crashed a car.” He gazes out at everyone taking a drink, and instructs, “Fingers down, bitches.”

He makes me go next, so I share, “Never have I ever kissed a guy.”

Frank lowers a finger, as does Pete, and both take a long drink. Once it’s Pete’s turn, he shares, “Never have I ever given head.”
Again, more fingers down, and mine remain up. Frank lowers another, and Bert finally lowers his first. Bert calls out, “Never have I ever moved houses.”

I lower a finger, taking my first swig of the game. Forcing it down, I shudder once I’ve finished my drink for that round. Frank ends up losing the game, putting all of his five fingers down before anyone else. As a result, he shrugs off his jacket, waving it in he air as he proclaimed, “I came prepared, motherfuckers!”

“What does he mean?” I whispered to Pete.

“You don’t know how it works? You lose, you take off an article of clothing,” Pete explained.

My eyes widened. “I can’t do that, I gotta go.”

“Come on, man, why not?” Pete asked. “It’s fine.”

Shaking my head vehemently, I insisted, “You don’t get it, it’s not fine. I can’t play.”

I rushed out in a hurry, and some few minutes later, Frank found me. He grabbed my arm, saying, “Hey, sorry man; I didn’t realize it. Want to play Spin the Bottle instead?”

“Sure,” I decided. “Why the hell not.”

“Okay, I’ll get Pete to play, too,” Frank told. He grabbed his friend and we all sat in the circle with other kids from our high school. In the middle, an empty bottle of Black Velvet lay, waiting to be spun. Frank declared, “I’ll go first.” With that, he spun the empty liquor bottle, which twirled a few rotations before finally landing on Pete. Frank gave a devilish grin as Pete groaned. After mockingly slicking his hair back, Frank leaned into Pete, placing one hand on his cheek as he kissed him. The two swapped spit for about six seconds before Pete finally pulled away. Pete then spun, having it land on me. I looked at him with big eyes, inching forward towards him. He laughed, leaning over towards me and looping a hand around my neck as he pulled me in for a kiss.

That was my first kiss. My first kiss was the taste of Pete’s screwdriver remnants in my mouth, my first kiss was a gimmick in a game, a prop for an audience. I didn’t even know if he was a good kisser; all I can tell you is that it could have been worse. I didn’t even know if I was all that attracted to Pete; he wasn’t really my type. He was kinda cute and scowly and all that, but he gave of a sort of fuckboy stoner vibe that I wasn’t especially into. I didn’t mind him as a friend, but I could never picture myself dating someone like him.

It’s hard to think about, the fact that he and Frank dated. More than that, they had sex. To this day, Frank is still protective over him, like Pete was a younger sibling rather than an ex boyfriend. It’s hard to picture Frank with someone like Pete, or with anyone, to be honest. He’s kind of a hardass, a person that keeps to himself as well. He doesn’t seem like the type that would be all lovey dovey and all that. I bet they had a very interesting relationship over it’s short timespan.

“Gerard! It’s your turn, you fucking dork,” Frank smirked.

Looking from Frank to all the others, I blushed, mumbling, “Oh, sorry.” I reach for the bottle and spin it, only I do it too hard and it slides across the floor and hits Frank in the knee.

I leaned over towards Frank, grabbing the bottle as I muttered, “Sorry, I’ll redo that.”

Only, I didn’t get to; the next thing I knew, Frank had grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and rammed his lips into mine. He kissed me, and he did a good job. As we broke apart, he bit down on my bottom lip, stretching it out from my jaw. Immediately after, he got up, declaring, “I think I’m done with this game for now.”

I didn’t want to be in the game all alone with only Pete, so I rose, tagging along behind Frank. “Hey man, why’d you quit the game so fast?”

Frank turned. “Because I had to kiss you.”

I must look pissed off, or sad, or something, because Frank insists, “It’s not that you’re not kissable Gerard it’s… you’re like a little baby freshman and-”

“I’m not a baby,” I demanded. “When are you ever going to see me as more than that?”

“Gerard, I mean this in the best of ways, but you’re like my kid brother,” Frank told.

I frowned. “Oh? Do you kiss your kid brother like that?”

Frank stopped what he was doing, setting down the vodka he had been mixing. He chuckled mirthlessly, grabbed the bottle, a can of Coke, and then grabbed me by the shirt, pulling me along until we reached a closet door. He knocked before entering, then locking the door behind him.

“Why are we in here?” I asked.

Frank sighed. “I wanted to level with you. I think you deserve that.” He sat down, took a drink of the vodka, and patted the space next to him. I hesitated, but finally sat down, and Frank even put his arm around me. “Look,” he began. “A lot of people are going to put you through a lot of shit in your life, and that’s the case with everyone. I know you’ve never been with anyone and… I just didn’t want your first kiss to go to waste, you know? I wanted you to know that I care about you, even if it’s not in that way.”

“Wow, Frank. That’s actually really sweet,” I murmured.

“Don’t get extra with the compliments,” Frank ordered.

Sensing that I struck a nerve, I continued, “Gosh, Frank, you’re like the sweetest guy I know!”

Frank raised a fist, threatening, “Shut up, Way!”

“You’re just a big softie!” I continued. I got punched in the arm, proceeding, “Aw, you’re getting all mad, isn’t that adorable?”

He knocked me over, wrestling me as I managed to add, “You’re so cute! Such a little guy!”

Finally, he pinned me. Gazing down at me triumphantly, his hair a mess and chest heaving as he panted, “Anymore smart remarks?”

“Unfortunately I’m fresh out, just give me a minute to regroup,” I teased.

Frank rolled his eyes, letting me go as he got up.

“Actually, I got a couple!” I realized. “Pete was actually my first kiss, and your fly is down.”

Frank blushed, looking down briefly at his crotch as I taunted, “Made you look.”

Notes

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