Big Baby (Sequel to Cry Baby) (Frerard)
Nine
Gerard has been walking for the longest time he’s ever remembered. After escaping from the Rainbow House, that was all he did. It was taking a toll on him physically, leaving him sweaty and dehydrated. All he had were the clothes on his back, and the contents in his suitcase that was becoming a burden to carry, as well as his savings he’s racked up from his former job. Stuck in the middle of downtown Newark, he didn’t know where to go; he had no map of any kind to guide him, nor did he have a set destination. All he knew was that the was out to search for one person, and right now he was talking to him in his mind.
“Gerard, you should rest,” Frank said to Gerard. “You look tired,”
“N-no, I’m n-not r-resting,” Gerard panted, sweat running from his forehead as he pushed himself to walk further and further. “I n-need to f-find you,”
“Yeah, but you’re not gonna do it in one go. Come on, Gee. Please. Rest for me,”
“B-but I wanna f-find you n-now!” Gerard whined, his throat huffing and puffing from exhaustion. His legs felt like they were in cement at this point. He was really tired, but refused to give in.
“Well you’re not gonna find me today. Come on, Gee. Please rest for me. It’s for the best. You’ll be energized by the time you get some food and rest,” Frank said. Gerard stopped dead in his tracks, his legs wobbly and aching. Giving in, he nearly collapsed to the floor, setting himself up against a building with his legs crossed and his bag by his side.
“F-fine!” Gerard replied, still trying to catch his breath. His stomach growled as he wiped the sweat off his forehead. He knew he had to get something to eat soon, and he thankfully had to the funds for it, but was reluctant to do so. He’s never ordered himself food before; he’s always had someone do it for him. That was one thing Gerard never thought through when he decided to run away; he’s never been on his own. Somebody else has always taken care of him. Now that he’s on his own, he has to vouch for himself. This definitely wasn’t like living with mom or in a group home anymore, and just thinking about it almost frightened him, making his stomach churn and the hairs on his neck rise. He began to think if maybe running away was worth it…
As Gerard sat down, he noticed someone in front of him near a trash can...no, rather, inside the trash can. He was bent over with his upper half in the garbage can right in front of Gerard, as if he were digging for something inside of the discarded waste. Gerard couldn’t help but frown, seeing the poor man trying to find his next meal in the trash. When he pulled himself out of it, Gerard was able to get a better look at the man, and based on how he looked, he’s no stranger to living out on the streets. However, something didn’t feel quite right when he looked at him. He had a gut feeling in his stomach that he’s seen this man before. It was like a giant rush of nostalgia came over him, and he couldn’t figure out why that was so. He just stared at the bum, trying to figure out why in the hell this man seemed so familiar to him. Right across from him, the bum looked at Gerard as he held his meal he got from the trash. He furrowed his brow as he stared at Gerard, feeling something odd inside of him. This boy looked familiar, he thought to himself. With the both of them staring at each other, neither one of them knew what to say, or if they even wanted to say anything at all.
“Gerard?” the man suddenly spoke, his voice echoing through the empty air of the congested town. This man suddenly realized who the boy in front of him is, and he hasn’t seen him in years due to his ignorance of what had happened to him. He turned his back on his eldest son after he was hit by a car and forever changed. Now he’s looking at him dead in the eye, the haunting memories coming back to haunt him.
“D-daddy?” Gerard replied, the man now looking more familiar to him. He’s definitely changed, but he still knew who he was. He knew right off the bat that something was wrong with him. He remembered his dad as someone that dressed nice. Seeing him in rags, he couldn’t help but wonder what happened to him. “Wh-what are y-you doing h-here? It’s b-been f-forever!”
“Maybe I should be asking you that, Gerard,” Gerard’s father replied flatly. “What are you doing in a place like this? What’s with the bags?”
“Oh, it’s f-funny y-you asked,” Gerard laughed. “I’m t-traveling to s-see a f-friend,”
“Oh...are you now?” replied the father, an eyebrow raised. “Who is he?”
“H-his n-name is F-frank. He used t-to c-come see m-me wh-while mommy was at w-work,”
“Oh...well, that’s nice. How’s your mother?”
“Oh...uh, sh-she…,” Gerard stuttered, feeling his heart sink in his chest. “Sh-she’s up th-there, w-with the angels,” he said, pointing a finger up to the sky.
“Oh…,” Donald replied briefly, looking somber. He didn’t expect his ex wife to be dead. The tragic news hit him hard without warning. He sighed deeply and shut his eyes for a bit, then he opened them back up. “I’m...I’m very sorry, I didn’t know. What happened to her?”
“Sh-she died of l-lung cancer,” Gerard replied, his words laced with a sad tone of his voice. The father and son stayed quiet for what seemed like hours rather than just minutes as they awkwardly looked down at their feet.
“I wish I had the chance to say goodbye,” Donald said suddenly, breaking the silence. “I also woulda told her that...I’m sorry,”
“Wh-what for?” Gerard asked. Donald just sat there, still gazing down at the floor, his face sullen. It’s like he was trying to piece together what to say to his eldest son that he abandoned so long ago.
“Gerard...I fucked up when I left your mother,” he finally said. “I’m sorry about the language, but it’s true. I really screwed up and I hurt all of you, especially your mother. If I could take her back, I would...but I don’t know if she’d want a scumbag like me. I don’t even know how you and your brother could forgive me, Gerard. I took it upon myself to divorce your mother, take Mikey with me and marry someone I thought that loved me for who I was. Oh, how wrong I was. She took everything from me; just chewed me up and spat me out like I was nothing. Now that she’s gone, I’m left with nothing. I’ve lost every dime I’ve had thanks to her. Now here I am, living in the slums. I’m pathetic. I never had the chance to say sorry to your mother…,”
Gerard watched in sadness, seeing what his father had been reduced to. He knew he was hurting when he first saw him. He barely knew how to take in Donald’s words. Gerard knew that Donald has hurt him and the rest of his family so much by leaving Donna when her and her kids were vulnerable and in need of help. Gerard couldn’t hold a grudge though. He knew he loved him despite all he’s done. Gerard scooched closer to his father and took him into a hug, holding him tight. Donald reluctantly returned the favor, wrapping his arms around his son. They stood there for a while, holding each other.
“I f-forgive y-you, d-daddy. I kn-know F-frankie would want m-me to do th-that, as well as m-mommy,”
“Thank you, Gerard,” Donald whispered, feeling the sting of tears come to his eyes. He couldn’t remember the last time something like this happened to him. He and Gerard soon separated, silently staring at each other. Neither one of them knew what to do or say next for a bit. Gerard smiled to make the situation at hand seem a little less awkward.
“Gerard, you should leave soon,” Frank said suddenly. Gerard frowned a little at the thought of parting ways with his father, but knew he had to do what his friend says. After all, he was his special friend.
“Aww, r-really? O-okay,” Gerard whined.
“Gerard? You alright?” Donald asked, noticing the grimace on Gerard’s face. Gerard just nodded, a fake smile plastered on his face.
“Y-yeah, I j-just gotta g-get going s-soon. F-frankie t-told me so. I g-gotta s-see him,” he said. Donald looked at his son silently, skeptical of what he said. He gave him a subtle “you need help” kind of look. He hoped that he didn’t notice what he was really trying to get across to his son.
“Yeah, okay. I see what you mean,” he replied. “Well then….I don’t know if I’ll be seeing you, but...you keep your head up high, okay?”
“I w-will,” Gerard said, grabbing his luggage. “I hope I s-see you s-soon, D-daddy,”
“Sure...you too,” Donald nodded, lying. He knew his chances of seeing his son were very slim. It was best to cover up his honest thoughts and doubts. He watched as Gerard walked away with his bag in his hand, his other one waving goodbye. Gerard made his way further down the street, walking for a while. He looked back at where he previously was with his father, but when he looked, he saw that he was gone.
