G
The slap came out of nowhere, sending me to the ground as he laughed. “Stupid slut. Get up and suck my cock, you know you want to.”
I heaved myself onto my knees and shook my head wearily. This time he didn't hit me with his hand, instead snapping the end of his leather belt over my cheek. I cried out and buried my face in my hands, but he roughly grabbed my arms, shoving himself inches away from my mouth. “Suck, you fucking cunt!”
I shook my head again, gritting my teeth and keeping my lips firmly shut. He took a step back and this time the belt buckle caught me on the side of my head, pain exploding in my vision as I fell back, curling up. He knelt down, grabbing my chin and forcing my mouth open.

The bedsheets were drenched in sweat, my body trembling. I sighed and slipped out of bed, making my way to the bathroom shakily, almost falling against the doorway. “F-Fuck..”
I managed to take a shower, scrubbing at my body. As soon as I got out, I checked the clock and swore again. I had to meet Frank soon. I ran a hand through my damp hair nervously, wrapping a towel around myself before hurrying into my bedroom. I was just trying to choose an outfit when my phone rang. I rolled my eyes and picked it up, pulling out the black button up I usually wore to work.
“Hey Mikes.”
“Hey, big brother! What’re you doing tonight?”
I sighed quietly and shook my head, tossing the shirt aside. “I'm going out with Frank Iero.”
“Shit...seriously? You must be kidding, right?”
“Nope. He came into the bar the other night and he recognized me like immediately.”
“Fuck, Gee. What’re you gonna wear? Are you interested in him? Are you gonna fuck him?”
I blinked quickly. “Slow down, Mikey. I don't really know yet. I don't know if he's the same person or not.”
“I doubt he'd change much, Gee. He's a good guy.”
“Well, yeah, but my judgement has been a little off for the past few years,” I snapped, and Mikey sighed.
“Wear that black shirt with the red embroidery. I like that one. And those bootcut slacks. He likes you a little feminine.”
“He's the only one,” I mumbled, running a hand through my hair. “What if-”
“No, none of that. It's Frank and he's taking you out. He cared for you so much, Gerard. He's not gonna throw it all away.”
“But what if he doesn't like me anymore?”
“Then it's his loss,” Mikey said softly. “Seriously. And I think he's smarter than that, Gee. Give it a chance, don't run away from it before it's even started.”
“Yes sir,” I grumbled.
“And remember he won't hurt you. And if he does try, you always have a knee, and you can always call me.”
I rolled my eyes and sighed. “Yes, okay. I gotta go get ready, Mikes.”
“Alright. Pete sends his love, and I'm sure he'll call you later to get all the details.”
“I'm sure,” I mumbled. “Love you, Mikes.”
“Love you too, Gee. Have fun.”

I smoothed my shirt down as I got out of my car, nervous as all hell. I could see Frank from where I was, his back against the wall. There was a cigarette dangling from his thin lips, and he was texting someone on his phone. He looked smart, much smarter than I did, complete with a suit jacket and tie over slacks.
“Fuck,” I muttered, walking up with my hands shoved in my pockets. Frank glanced up and his eyes widened.
“Damn. You look stunning.” He slipped his phone away and stubbed the cigarette out, grinning at me. “Sorry for my outfit, I came straight from work, and I had some important meetings today.”
I shrugged, taking a deep breath. “It's okay, but yeah. I don't own a suit,” I said, adding a nervous chuckle.
Frank just smiled at me. “You look perfect as you are, Gee. I was planning on taking you out for dinner, is that alright?”
I nodded slightly, but felt a little sick. “Yeah. I didn't...I didn't bring any money, I-”
“No, no, my treat,” Frank soothed, kicking off from the wall and rubbing my shoulder. “Come on. I'll drive you. I know it might be a little early for dinner, but I prefer to eat early. Is that okay?”
I closed my eyes for a couple seconds. Too many questions. “Y-yeah, it's fine, Frank. Really. Whatever you want.”
He hesitated, his eyes narrowing slightly. “Okay. It's Italian, you like Italian, right?”
I glanced at him and realized suddenly that he was nervous. His hands were shaking slightly, and I figured that's why he kept asking me if everything was okay.
“Frank, there's no need to be nervous,” I said quietly. “You don't need to impress me or anything.”
He sighed and opened his car door for me. “Gerard, I'm nervous because in the ten years since I last saw you, I haven't found one person whom I could love the way I loved you. I don't want to let you slip through my fingers again.”
The way he said it was sweet, but firm. I felt rocks settle in my stomach and I wanted to turn and run. Instead, I got into the car, trying not to notice how much nicer it was than mine. Frank got in behind the wheel and started the car, smiling at me. “How have you been? I know it's been a long time, but-”
“I haven't been great, Frank,” I interrupted quickly. “But I don't really want to talk about it.”
He flashed me a worried look and I ignored it.
“Okay. What do you want to talk about, then?”
I didn't answer, instead turning the radio on and finding a rock station before cranking the volume. Frank sighed, but didn't look annoyed or upset. Instead, he offered me his hand. I shook my head and he put it back on the steering wheel, not even an ounce of contempt or anger in his expression.

After about half an hour of silence, Frank turned the music down and glanced at me. “Gerard, I have to be honest with you, love. Shortly after my nineteenth birthday, I started having...problems. Mood swings and seeing and hearing things. Chris took me to the doctor and I was diagnosed with very mild schizophrenia. I know that's a really scary word, but it just boils down to me getting a little irritable and erratic when I don't take my meds. I've never come close to harming myself or anyone else, and I've never really heard voices. I just hear weird sounds and sometimes see people or things get kind of distorted. It's a bit like looking at the world through a kaleidoscope, but without the colors. But I take my meds every day and I'm still working with a psychologist twice a month. I wanted to be honest with you...does it bother you?”
Frank was shifting in his seat, his grip on the steering wheel turning his knuckles white.
I shrugged. “I guess not.”
I felt like crying now. Frank wasn't the same. I'd been holding out hope that maybe he'd prove to me that he was the same loving, sweet, and kind guy, and maybe I could learn to trust someone again.
But he was different, and I didn't know how to deal with that.
The car stopped suddenly and Frank smiled at me nervously. “Ready?”
I nodded slightly and got out of the car, chewing on my lip harshly. He offered me his arm, but I didn't take it, following him into the restaurant quickly. He said something about having a reservation and we were led to one of the tables. I sat down, glancing around. There were bottles of wine everywhere, and all the tables and chairs looked modern, but expensive. The place reeked of great food and oozed money. I ducked my head slightly.
“Frank, this is too much..”
He smiled at me, taking his jacket off and laying it on the seat next to him as he sat down across from me. “Don't be silly. I'm making up for ten years of lost time here.”
I blushed and glanced at the menu, trying to find the least expensive dish.
Frank hummed softly as the waitress walked over, and he ordered us some wine as well as water. I looked up, worried. “I um, you didn't have to..”
“Gerard, honey, just enjoy it,” Frank soothed, smiling at me. “I'm gonna spend money on you regardless, so you might as well try to have fun.”
I sighed and rubbed my forehead with the heel of my hand. “Alright, okay. Thanks, Frank.”
“No problem.”
I glanced up as the waitress brought over the wine, pouring me a glass carefully. As soon as she was gone, I drank half of the glass in one go, barely even tasting it.
Frank watched me, his eyes worried and a little sad. I suddenly felt a pang of guilt and forced a smile. He sat back slightly.
“You're a good bartender, Gee. But I thought you wanted to be a photographer?”
My stomach turned as he said the nickname so casually. “That didn't work out.”
“Why not?”
“I got married and didn't go to university,” I said quietly, taking another long sip of my wine. Frank frowned.
“That's a shame. I liked your photos. Do you like working at that club?”
I blinked and shrugged. “It's better than working in a gay club.”
Frank seemed taken aback. “Why do you think so?”
“Because I don't get hit on every five seconds.”
He smiled softly. “Well, maybe you shouldn't be so stunning.”
“Maybe you should go and fuck yourself,” I hissed, clenching my jaw. “It makes me uncomfortable and I tell them to stop and they don't! They say the same fucking thing you just did to me all the time.”
Frank flinched and guilt washed over me again.
“Gerard, I'm sorry,” he said quickly, before I could babble out an apology. “I didn't think before I opened my mouth. I meant it as a compliment and it came out wrong. Forgive me?”
I stared at him for a couple seconds. “Frank, I-”
He leaned over the table and took my hand gently, holding it loosely. “I care about you, Gerard. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.”
This was becoming too much for me. I pulled my hand away, putting it in my lap instead. “I-It's okay, Frank. I'm okay. I didn't mean to snap.”
“That's fine, I deserved it,” he smiled, then glanced up as the waitress came back. He ordered some kind of fancy sounding pasta and I asked for the basic salad. Frank sighed, but didn't say anything, thanking the waitress with a smile.
He turned back to me, his green eyes soft. “You do look lovely tonight, Gerard. That haircut suits you wonderfully, and I love the shirt.”
I blushed, biting my lip again. Frank was being innocent, completely so, without any kind of suggestive tone to his voice. He thought I looked nice and he was telling me so, rather than just trying to get me into bed. It made me feel warm and safe for a split second.
I downed the rest of my wine quickly. “Thank you. You look nice too.”
Frank tilted his head slightly, clearly trying to work me out. “What would you like to do after this? I was thinking maybe you could come watch a movie at my place?”
I swallowed hard and shook my head just slightly, struggling to force the words out. “No, I um...I have to get to bed early, it's my only night off..”
Frank blinked and I could tell he was disappointed, but instead of swearing at me or slapping me, he just flashed a small smile.
“Okay. Perhaps another time? Chris would love to see you again.”
I sighed and nodded, still biting my lip. “Yeah...that would be nice.”
Frank sucked at his lip lightly.
“Gerard, I really wanted to take you out for a nice romantic dinner this evening and maybe cuddle you on the sofa for a while, but you don't really seem very open to romance. Am I wrong to be trying to...do this? Are you not really wanting to rekindle this?”
I blinked, surprised by his bluntness. “Um. Yes, I am. I miss you, Frank. I do. But I need to be sure that you're...my Frank. I've been burned and I don't feel like getting burned again.”
Frank smiled softly and nodded. “Okay, Gerard. I totally understand. I'll take it down a notch for now.”
I bit my lip again, folding my hands under the table. I didn't know how to react to this, how accommodating Frank was. I wasn't used to it anymore.
The waitress interrupted my thoughts, setting our food down and pouring me another glass of wine.

By the time we'd finished the main course, I’d polished off a total of three glasses of delicious wine and learned a lot more about Frank's business. He owned a small chain of gay clubs, three to be exact, and was looking to expand to four. Apparently they were wildly popular and he'd been looking for a new location when he'd stumbled across me in the club I worked in.
I looked at the dessert menu and shook my head slightly. “I'll just have a coffee..”
Frank smiled. “Nonsense. Share the cheesecake with me, it's really good but I can't eat all of it on my own..”
I smiled faintly and nodded. “Okay, Frank.”
He hesitated, staring at me briefly before ordering.
As soon as the waitress was gone, he leaned on the table, watching me. “You're still nervous, Gerard. Why? Why are you so nervous?”
I shrugged, looking away. “I don't know, Frank.”
“I wish you weren't so nervous,” he said in a soft, kind voice. “I always imagined I'd find you again and I always wanted to woo you and make you feel like the most important person on Earth. I still want to, but it's hard when I feel like you're keeping something from me.”
I sighed and buried my face in my hands for a few seconds. “Frank, I'm sorry,” I murmured as I lifted my head to look at him. “I'm just not ready.”
He nodded and smiled at me. “I know, honey. I'll have to settle for making you feel safe first.”
I felt my throat close up and I looked down at my lap. I didn't deserve him, he was too good for me. Much too good.
As soon as the dessert arrived, Frank picked up his fork. I smiled to myself, biting my lip; he'd always had a sweet tooth.
“Have some, Gerard, it's really nice..”
I sighed and picked up my fork, taking a tiny bite from the end. I blinked as I tasted it, feeling it melt on my tongue. “Oh fuck, that is good.”
Frank grinned and picked up a larger portion with his fork, leaning over slightly and holding the fork out. I blushed, staring into his soft, innocent green eyes. This wasn't sexual or meant to tease me. He was being genuinely romantic and sweet.
I took the bite, letting him feed me. “Thanks, Frankie,” I murmured after finishing the mouthful.
He smiled happily and nodded slightly. “You're welcome, Gee. You deserve to be spoiled.”
I felt the blush darken and smiled shyly. “I'm not sure about that, but I don't think I'll object too much.”
Frank laughed, leaning back in his chair, and I swallowed hard. He was exactly the same when he laughed, maybe with a little more depth to his voice, but everything else was exactly as I remembered it from ten years ago.

Frank parked the car in the café parking lot, smiling at me. “I had a great evening, Gerard. Really great. Can we maybe..?”
“Yes! Please,” I said quickly, then blushed again. He chuckled and put a hand on my cheek, leaning over slightly. “I'm glad you loosened up a little, Gerard. I'm sorry it was so hard for you.”
He was watching me with a sincere, caring expression, his other hand coming around and resting on my thigh without any sexual overtone.
“Thank you, Frankie,” I murmured. He leaned in just a little further and I could feel his breath on my lips.
I didn't want this, not yet. I wanted to relish the moment, the moment where I felt safe in Frank's car, his hands on me feeling right and perfect. But I was too scared to push him away.
His lips connected with mine and I closed my eyes tightly, not kissing back at all. Frank pulled away quickly, noticing how stiff I was. “Gerard? Oh fuck...I did something wrong, didn't I?”
I shook my head, feeling like I was about to burst into tears. “You're fine, Frankie, it's okay. I promise.” I forced my most convincing smile, knowing I was still trapped in his car. If he tried to strike me, I'd have nowhere to go.
So I pulled him into another kiss, blinking away tears as his fingers tangled in my hair, the hand on my thigh sliding round to caress the skin just below my crotch. “Gee..” Frank murmured against my lips, gently tugging on my hair. I quickly broke away, smiling at him. “I have to go, Frankie. I'll see you soon. Call me..”
I got out of the car and forced myself to walk calmly towards my own, ignoring the tears running down my cheeks.

I sat in the bath, shaking as I scrubbed at the inside of my left thigh. “F-Fuck..”
My phone rang and I grabbed it, nearly dropping it in the water.
“Hey!” Pete half shouted from the other end of the line. “How was your date with Mr. Dreamy?”
I burst into tears and Pete swore quietly.
“Shit, I'm sorry, Gee. I'll pass you to Mikey, okay?”
“Y-yeah..”
I sniffed as I heard talking in the background.
“Hey Gee,” Mikey murmured, his voice soft and soothing. “What happened, beautiful? Why are you crying?”
I tried to wipe my cheeks, trembling. “I r-ruined it! We h-had a really nice dinner and I fucked it up!”
“How, sweetie? What did you do?” Mikey murmured, sounding worried.
“I'm s-sorry..” I sniffed, trembling slightly. “I l-let him kiss me..”
“Oh Gee..” He sighed quietly. “That's not..that's not your fault.”
“I w-wanted to push him away, but we were in h-his car and I was s-scared he might h-hit me..”
Mikey took a deep breath, but I cut in before he could say anything.
“He noticed and I didn't want him to g-get angry that I didn't want it, so I kissed him and he tried to touch my thigh and so I told him I had to go..”
“Geebear, it's not your fault,” Mikey said slowly and firmly. “You're just doing what you think you have to to keep safe. But hon, you need to tell Frank about your husbands. He’ll understand..”
“What if he doesn't want me..? He said he wanted to make me feel like the m-most important person on Earth...what if he doesn't want to anymore?”
Mikey took another deep breath. “Gee, he's still in love with you. That's why he wants to make you feel so good. That's why he took you to a fancy restaurant. And you remember what happened when you were raped and he was in love with you?”
I sniffed and didn't reply, hating him for bringing it up.
“Gee, he sat with you all night, every night, and he bathed you everyday, even though your bruises brought up memories so bad he threw up. Frank is a dedicated person, and people don't change that much. He's still in love with you, and all he's gonna do when he finds out about your marriages is cry and wish you'd told him sooner and cuddle the shit out of you. I'm sure of it. I can talk to him for you if it would help.”
“N-no! I can't...I can't let him hear it from someone else..”
“Okay, Gee. But I think it should be soon.”
“I'm gonna talk to Chris,” I mumbled quietly. “He's still really nice to me, I think he’ll help me.”
“Alright. Do you want me to come over?”
“I'm o-okay. I'm just gonna get some sleep.”

I was back in Frank's car, his lips brushing mine. I pushed his chest gently, looking down as a blush rose to my cheeks. “Frankie..I-”
“Cunt,” he snapped and I looked up into the face of my second husband. I tried to scramble away, tried to unbuckle my seatbelt, but it wouldn't let go of me, instead tightening around my body as he grabbed my crotch.
“Disgusting. You're fucking disgusting and no one will ever love you, cunt. You should just kill yourself. End it all.”

Notes

So I hope you guys are excited about this, let me know what you think!
:)