Unspeakably Unique
Chapter Two
F
I saw Gerard at the bus stop again the next morning, but didn't say anything to him. He didn't look at me. He was wearing a very different outfit, plain black skinny jeans with a cropped grey sweatshirt that was stained with something bright red around the sleeves and hem. His hair was swept back from his face, and as I looked closer, I realized he wasn't wearing any makeup.
Gerard noticed me staring when we were on the bus, but he just flashed me a faint smile and went back to fiddling with his phone. I sighed and turned the volume up on my own phone, relaxing slightly.
As I was walking to my second class, I heard shouting and jeering down a side hall and had to go investigate, getting a sinking feeling that Gerard would be the center of attention. As I rounded the corner, my heart leapt into my throat. Gerard was lying on the floor, trying to scramble up, but Blondie had a foot on his back, laughing as the smaller boy tried to get to his books, which Gangly was tearing apart, destroying his notes. The crowd around them was laughing and jeering and shouting things along the lines of ‘freak’ and ‘faggot.’ I dropped my backpack quickly and grabbed a kid near me. “If you value your testicles, run to the nearest classroom and bring a fucking teacher.”
He nodded and ran off. I took a deep breath.
“What the fuck do you think you're doing?” I roared. Gangly glanced up at me and the suddenly much less confident crowd took a collective step back. Blondie let go of Gerard, who crawled into the corner and curled up, his arms over his head. I shoved past the larger boys and knelt down next to Gerard, slipping my leather jacket off and laying it over him. “You're okay. You're safe,” I soothed, brushing the back of my index finger over his cheek. I stood up and turned, glaring at Blondie, who was too stupid to run. The crowd had dispersed now and the kid I’d sent off came running back with a teacher at his heels.
I spent the rest of my morning talking to admin staff, the principal, and the teacher who had been ‘first on the scene.’ I did, in fact, get into trouble for burning a kid’s hand with a cigarette, but it was all worth it when the police came and arrested the two kids in front of Gerard. He'd been very brave, holding back tears and admitting that he'd been bullied for months and it had only just gotten physical. I'd stayed with him as much as possible, concerned about him as he stayed curled in his chair, his chin resting on his knees.
He started to cry when the policeman took Gangly and Blondie away, but I could tell he was just overwhelmed with relief. Just as I tried to comfort him, the door swung open and a thin kid with blonde, slicked back hair stepped in, hurrying over to Gerard. He helped the crying boy to his feet and shot me a mistrustful look as he led Gerard out of the room. I sat quietly, my arms folded over my chest, until I heard footsteps behind me.
“Frank.”
“Chris.”
“How long have you been suspended for?”
I took a deep breath. “One day, Chris.”
“So one week without tv, without your phone, and without any of those late night trips to the park you think I don't know about. And you can forget about that tattoo.”
I got up, forcing down my desire to scream and yell and let my rage out to feast on the man barely ten years my senior who had somehow ended up in charge of my life. He tried to put a hand on my shoulder and I shrugged it off, stalking out to his car.
Once we got home, Chris walked me inside and gently pulled me back when I tried to go upstairs. “Hey. You did the right thing, Frank. Just...in the wrong way. You know I have to punish you for that..” He was watching me worriedly, his hands hanging limp at his sides.
“He grabbed my thigh,” I muttered, looking down and shuffling my feet. “He was gonna...I c-couldn't..I c-couldn't let him…”
I suddenly burst into tears, surprising myself as much as Chris. He carefully pulled me into a hug, running his fingers through my hair slowly. “Shit, Frank. I'm sorry...did it bring up...stuff?”
I nodded slightly, grabbing onto him and twisting my fingers in the back of his shirt as I buried my face in his chest.
He rubbed my back slowly, sighing quietly. “Frank, I'm taking back grounding you, but you need to understand that this behavior is not okay, under any circumstances.”
I nodded again, and Chris ran his long fingers through my hair. “What an eventful first two days,” he mumbled, resting his chin on my head. “That poor kid...is he okay?”
I let go of Chris, slowly breaking away and rubbing my eyes. “I think so. He's one brave little shit, and he has loads of good friends, I think. He will be okay if he isn't now.”
“Good. What are you gonna do for the rest of the afternoon? I have to get back to work.”
“Honestly?” I smiled. “Probably just sleep. I didn't um. I didn't get much last night.”
Chris frowned and brushed his hand over my cheek. “Call me if you need anything, anything at all. And you should get something for that kid.”
I snorted. “What? An ‘I'm sorry you almost got raped’ card? I don't think they sell those at Hallmark.”
Chris rolled his eyes. “You don't always have to be so vulgar. And have a think about it. A couple flowers might be nice. I can give them to the office at school and they'll take them to him tomorrow.”
I nodded slightly, picking up my backpack. “I'll think about it, but now I'm gonna go nap. Wake me when you get home.”
“Okay. Sleep well.”
Chris stopped me just before I walked out the door, holding his hand out. I sighed and took out my cigarettes and lighter, handing them to him.
“Is that all of them?” He asked, looking at me seriously. I nodded.
“I only have one pack left.”
“Alright. Have a good day, Frank.”
I nodded again and slipped out of the front door, walking to the bus stop quietly. Gerard didn't show up at all that morning, so I just got on with my day, honestly glad for the lack of excitement. Obviously everyone had heard about the incident with the cigarette, as a lot of kids gave me weird looks or leaned away from me throughout the day. I ignored it, instead paying attention in class and taking good notes.
I walked through the cafeteria at lunch, heading outside, but a hand gripped my arm, pulling me back gently. I shook it off and whipped around, coming face to face with Gerard, who smiled faintly. “You can come sit with my friends..”
I hesitated and he bit his lip, looking at me pleadingly. I sighed and nodded, letting him lead me over to a table in the corner. There were four kids already at the table. Gerard sat down and gently pulled me down next to him. “Guys, this is Frank. Frank, that's Mikey, my brother, Pete, Ray, and Patrick.”
I nodded and smiled uncertainly. Mikey was staring at me in a not completely unfriendly way, but he kept glancing at Gerard. He looked younger, but was certainly protective. Gerard poked my side. I jumped and everyone laughed. “Yeah?”
He giggled and shrugged. “I was asking if you'd be interested in an LGBTI club for the school. We're thinking of starting one.”
I blinked. “What makes you think I'd be interested in that?”
Gerard smiled sweetly. “Because you helped me. You clearly have respect for people who are different.”
I relaxed slightly and ran a hand through my hair. “I mean, I probably wouldn't go much..”
He sighed and nodded. “It's okay. I don't think there's many people interested in it apart from us.”
I glanced around at the table again and noticed how close together Mikey and Pete were sitting, and if I looked closely enough, I could tell they were holding hands under the table. I tapped Gerard's shoulder and leaned in to whisper in his ear. “Are Mikey and Pete..?”
He nodded and smiled. “Yep. They're a good couple, no? I'm pleased for them.”
I bit my lip and sighed. “I'm uh...this seems like a safe place..”
Gerard turned to me and smiled, rubbing my forearm. “Very much so. Is there something you wanna tell me?”
I glanced around nervously. “I'm uh...I'm gay, but I don't really like talking about it much..”
He nodded and went back to eating. “It never seems like the safest school to be out, huh? Well, they mostly leave the gay kids alone cause they're too busy picking on the non-binary kid.”
I blinked and bit my lip. “I don't really know what that is.”
Gerard smiled at me. “I don't really have time to explain right now, you should look it up when you get home. The bell’s about to ring.”
I nodded, watching him get up. He waved to me before hurrying off, and I sighed quietly as the bell rang. “Fuck.”
I'd never meant to tell anyone about my sexuality. I'd been out and open at my last school, and it had not been a pleasant experience. Since then, I'd kept it from everyone. Chris only knew because he read it in a file, I'd never talked to him about it. Although we had an understanding and I was pretty sure he was gay too.
In any case, Gerard had made me feel safe for a brief moment. His bright smile and his soft hazel eyes had pulled me in and I'd felt ready somehow, to admit to what I was. And he'd just smiled and nodded. It had felt…good, to my surprise.
Chris was home when I got back, a file open on the kitchen table as he sat there, rubbing his temples. I walked past him pretty much unnoticed and put the coffee pot on, pouring out two mugs. I stirred in sugar and cream for him, setting it down in front of him and making him jump.
“Everything okay?”
He grabbed the coffee and took a long gulp. “God, it's better now. Thanks. When did you get home?”
I chuckled, sitting down in the other chair. “Two minutes ago.”
Chris tilted his head. “You look happy. Did you have a good day?”
I bit my lip, shrugging. “I met some nice people.”
“Good. And you didn't get into any fights?”
I shook my head and leaned back in my chair. “Nope. Nice and uneventful.”
“Sounds perfect.”
I glanced over the file and Chris shut it carefully. “Sorry, Frank, you know-”
“It's confidential, yeah. I know, I'm not offended.”
He smiled at me and nodded. “I think we should order pizza tonight, I'm in the mood. Why don't you go get your work done and then we could watch a movie or something?”
I nodded, getting up and stretching. “Sounds good to me. I don't have too much homework, it'll probably just take me an hour and a half.”
Chris and I sat on the sofa, watching Donnie Darko together and eating pizza. He glanced at me after a while.
“You seem different tonight, Frank. What happened at school that you're not telling me about?”
I gritted my teeth. “I don't really want to talk about it.”
Chris sighed. “You never want to talk about anything, but talking about things with others is how we process events, the good and the bad. I know you struggle with opening up, Frank, but I'd thought that we'd started to build up enough trust for this.”
I took a deep breath, looking away. “I opened up to someone today.”
He blinked and stared at me. “Okay. That's very good. What was it about? How did it feel?”
I rubbed my eyes with the heel of my hand, trying to ignore the blush creeping up my cheeks. “Um. I told Gerard I was gay. It uh...it felt good, I guess? I don't know. It was weird.”
Chris nodded. “So what made you feel able to do that?”
I shrugged, still not daring to look at him. “Um. I don't really know. He just made me feel safe. He was talking about trying to start an LGBT club and it just felt right, I guess.”
“Good. Well done, Frank.”
And that was it. Chris didn't bring it up again for the rest of the evening, and I went to bed confused and thoughtful.
I saw Gerard at the bus stop again the next morning, but didn't say anything to him. He didn't look at me. He was wearing a very different outfit, plain black skinny jeans with a cropped grey sweatshirt that was stained with something bright red around the sleeves and hem. His hair was swept back from his face, and as I looked closer, I realized he wasn't wearing any makeup.
Gerard noticed me staring when we were on the bus, but he just flashed me a faint smile and went back to fiddling with his phone. I sighed and turned the volume up on my own phone, relaxing slightly.
As I was walking to my second class, I heard shouting and jeering down a side hall and had to go investigate, getting a sinking feeling that Gerard would be the center of attention. As I rounded the corner, my heart leapt into my throat. Gerard was lying on the floor, trying to scramble up, but Blondie had a foot on his back, laughing as the smaller boy tried to get to his books, which Gangly was tearing apart, destroying his notes. The crowd around them was laughing and jeering and shouting things along the lines of ‘freak’ and ‘faggot.’ I dropped my backpack quickly and grabbed a kid near me. “If you value your testicles, run to the nearest classroom and bring a fucking teacher.”
He nodded and ran off. I took a deep breath.
“What the fuck do you think you're doing?” I roared. Gangly glanced up at me and the suddenly much less confident crowd took a collective step back. Blondie let go of Gerard, who crawled into the corner and curled up, his arms over his head. I shoved past the larger boys and knelt down next to Gerard, slipping my leather jacket off and laying it over him. “You're okay. You're safe,” I soothed, brushing the back of my index finger over his cheek. I stood up and turned, glaring at Blondie, who was too stupid to run. The crowd had dispersed now and the kid I’d sent off came running back with a teacher at his heels.
I spent the rest of my morning talking to admin staff, the principal, and the teacher who had been ‘first on the scene.’ I did, in fact, get into trouble for burning a kid’s hand with a cigarette, but it was all worth it when the police came and arrested the two kids in front of Gerard. He'd been very brave, holding back tears and admitting that he'd been bullied for months and it had only just gotten physical. I'd stayed with him as much as possible, concerned about him as he stayed curled in his chair, his chin resting on his knees.
He started to cry when the policeman took Gangly and Blondie away, but I could tell he was just overwhelmed with relief. Just as I tried to comfort him, the door swung open and a thin kid with blonde, slicked back hair stepped in, hurrying over to Gerard. He helped the crying boy to his feet and shot me a mistrustful look as he led Gerard out of the room. I sat quietly, my arms folded over my chest, until I heard footsteps behind me.
“Frank.”
“Chris.”
“How long have you been suspended for?”
I took a deep breath. “One day, Chris.”
“So one week without tv, without your phone, and without any of those late night trips to the park you think I don't know about. And you can forget about that tattoo.”
I got up, forcing down my desire to scream and yell and let my rage out to feast on the man barely ten years my senior who had somehow ended up in charge of my life. He tried to put a hand on my shoulder and I shrugged it off, stalking out to his car.
Once we got home, Chris walked me inside and gently pulled me back when I tried to go upstairs. “Hey. You did the right thing, Frank. Just...in the wrong way. You know I have to punish you for that..” He was watching me worriedly, his hands hanging limp at his sides.
“He grabbed my thigh,” I muttered, looking down and shuffling my feet. “He was gonna...I c-couldn't..I c-couldn't let him…”
I suddenly burst into tears, surprising myself as much as Chris. He carefully pulled me into a hug, running his fingers through my hair slowly. “Shit, Frank. I'm sorry...did it bring up...stuff?”
I nodded slightly, grabbing onto him and twisting my fingers in the back of his shirt as I buried my face in his chest.
He rubbed my back slowly, sighing quietly. “Frank, I'm taking back grounding you, but you need to understand that this behavior is not okay, under any circumstances.”
I nodded again, and Chris ran his long fingers through my hair. “What an eventful first two days,” he mumbled, resting his chin on my head. “That poor kid...is he okay?”
I let go of Chris, slowly breaking away and rubbing my eyes. “I think so. He's one brave little shit, and he has loads of good friends, I think. He will be okay if he isn't now.”
“Good. What are you gonna do for the rest of the afternoon? I have to get back to work.”
“Honestly?” I smiled. “Probably just sleep. I didn't um. I didn't get much last night.”
Chris frowned and brushed his hand over my cheek. “Call me if you need anything, anything at all. And you should get something for that kid.”
I snorted. “What? An ‘I'm sorry you almost got raped’ card? I don't think they sell those at Hallmark.”
Chris rolled his eyes. “You don't always have to be so vulgar. And have a think about it. A couple flowers might be nice. I can give them to the office at school and they'll take them to him tomorrow.”
I nodded slightly, picking up my backpack. “I'll think about it, but now I'm gonna go nap. Wake me when you get home.”
“Okay. Sleep well.”
Chris stopped me just before I walked out the door, holding his hand out. I sighed and took out my cigarettes and lighter, handing them to him.
“Is that all of them?” He asked, looking at me seriously. I nodded.
“I only have one pack left.”
“Alright. Have a good day, Frank.”
I nodded again and slipped out of the front door, walking to the bus stop quietly. Gerard didn't show up at all that morning, so I just got on with my day, honestly glad for the lack of excitement. Obviously everyone had heard about the incident with the cigarette, as a lot of kids gave me weird looks or leaned away from me throughout the day. I ignored it, instead paying attention in class and taking good notes.
I walked through the cafeteria at lunch, heading outside, but a hand gripped my arm, pulling me back gently. I shook it off and whipped around, coming face to face with Gerard, who smiled faintly. “You can come sit with my friends..”
I hesitated and he bit his lip, looking at me pleadingly. I sighed and nodded, letting him lead me over to a table in the corner. There were four kids already at the table. Gerard sat down and gently pulled me down next to him. “Guys, this is Frank. Frank, that's Mikey, my brother, Pete, Ray, and Patrick.”
I nodded and smiled uncertainly. Mikey was staring at me in a not completely unfriendly way, but he kept glancing at Gerard. He looked younger, but was certainly protective. Gerard poked my side. I jumped and everyone laughed. “Yeah?”
He giggled and shrugged. “I was asking if you'd be interested in an LGBTI club for the school. We're thinking of starting one.”
I blinked. “What makes you think I'd be interested in that?”
Gerard smiled sweetly. “Because you helped me. You clearly have respect for people who are different.”
I relaxed slightly and ran a hand through my hair. “I mean, I probably wouldn't go much..”
He sighed and nodded. “It's okay. I don't think there's many people interested in it apart from us.”
I glanced around at the table again and noticed how close together Mikey and Pete were sitting, and if I looked closely enough, I could tell they were holding hands under the table. I tapped Gerard's shoulder and leaned in to whisper in his ear. “Are Mikey and Pete..?”
He nodded and smiled. “Yep. They're a good couple, no? I'm pleased for them.”
I bit my lip and sighed. “I'm uh...this seems like a safe place..”
Gerard turned to me and smiled, rubbing my forearm. “Very much so. Is there something you wanna tell me?”
I glanced around nervously. “I'm uh...I'm gay, but I don't really like talking about it much..”
He nodded and went back to eating. “It never seems like the safest school to be out, huh? Well, they mostly leave the gay kids alone cause they're too busy picking on the non-binary kid.”
I blinked and bit my lip. “I don't really know what that is.”
Gerard smiled at me. “I don't really have time to explain right now, you should look it up when you get home. The bell’s about to ring.”
I nodded, watching him get up. He waved to me before hurrying off, and I sighed quietly as the bell rang. “Fuck.”
I'd never meant to tell anyone about my sexuality. I'd been out and open at my last school, and it had not been a pleasant experience. Since then, I'd kept it from everyone. Chris only knew because he read it in a file, I'd never talked to him about it. Although we had an understanding and I was pretty sure he was gay too.
In any case, Gerard had made me feel safe for a brief moment. His bright smile and his soft hazel eyes had pulled me in and I'd felt ready somehow, to admit to what I was. And he'd just smiled and nodded. It had felt…good, to my surprise.
Chris was home when I got back, a file open on the kitchen table as he sat there, rubbing his temples. I walked past him pretty much unnoticed and put the coffee pot on, pouring out two mugs. I stirred in sugar and cream for him, setting it down in front of him and making him jump.
“Everything okay?”
He grabbed the coffee and took a long gulp. “God, it's better now. Thanks. When did you get home?”
I chuckled, sitting down in the other chair. “Two minutes ago.”
Chris tilted his head. “You look happy. Did you have a good day?”
I bit my lip, shrugging. “I met some nice people.”
“Good. And you didn't get into any fights?”
I shook my head and leaned back in my chair. “Nope. Nice and uneventful.”
“Sounds perfect.”
I glanced over the file and Chris shut it carefully. “Sorry, Frank, you know-”
“It's confidential, yeah. I know, I'm not offended.”
He smiled at me and nodded. “I think we should order pizza tonight, I'm in the mood. Why don't you go get your work done and then we could watch a movie or something?”
I nodded, getting up and stretching. “Sounds good to me. I don't have too much homework, it'll probably just take me an hour and a half.”
Chris and I sat on the sofa, watching Donnie Darko together and eating pizza. He glanced at me after a while.
“You seem different tonight, Frank. What happened at school that you're not telling me about?”
I gritted my teeth. “I don't really want to talk about it.”
Chris sighed. “You never want to talk about anything, but talking about things with others is how we process events, the good and the bad. I know you struggle with opening up, Frank, but I'd thought that we'd started to build up enough trust for this.”
I took a deep breath, looking away. “I opened up to someone today.”
He blinked and stared at me. “Okay. That's very good. What was it about? How did it feel?”
I rubbed my eyes with the heel of my hand, trying to ignore the blush creeping up my cheeks. “Um. I told Gerard I was gay. It uh...it felt good, I guess? I don't know. It was weird.”
Chris nodded. “So what made you feel able to do that?”
I shrugged, still not daring to look at him. “Um. I don't really know. He just made me feel safe. He was talking about trying to start an LGBT club and it just felt right, I guess.”
“Good. Well done, Frank.”
And that was it. Chris didn't bring it up again for the rest of the evening, and I went to bed confused and thoughtful.
@LoganMai
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4/20/18