~Frank~
I heard Gerard walk in, and he'd only taken two steps in from the door when he started to cry. I hurried over to him, wrapping my arms around him tightly. “Gee? Come sit down..” I gently pulled him towards the living room and he sniffed, following me quietly. We sat down together and I climbed into his lap, hugging him tightly. He buried his face in my neck and started to sob, clinging to me shakily. I let him cry, playing with his hair and rubbing his back slowly. After a few minutes, he seemed to calm down somewhat, so I lifted his chin carefully, pecking his now salty lips.
“Gerard, tell me what's wrong, please..”
He sighed, letting me wipe the tears off his cheeks. “Frankie...I haven't been losing any weight because...well...fuck. I c-can't..”
I kissed his forehead softly, stroking his cheeks lovingly. “You can tell me anything, baby. Whatever it is, we’ll work it out together,” I murmured, smiling down at him. Gerard sighed, kissing my hand gently.
“It's my own stupid fault, anyway..” He mumbled, looking away from me. “I'm pregnant.”
My whole world seemed to stop for a moment, everything cutting out. My heartbeat, the scent of Gerard, the sound of the dishwasher in the kitchen, even the feel of Gerard's warm skin under my fingers, it all vanished. Then I took a deep breath and it came flooding back again.
“Okay.”
He was crying again now, trembling under me. I kissed him softly, running my fingers through his hair slowly. “We’ll figure this out, Gee. But first you gotta stop crying, baby. How far along are you?”
Gerard managed a deep breath, his hands shaking on my sides. “About seven weeks, I think..”
His voice was raspy and quiet, scared. I nuzzled his jaw, purring softly.
“There's nothing to be scared of, baby. Shh..”
“A-aren't you scared?” Gerard whimpered, his fingers curling in the fabric of my shirt. I nodded quickly.
“Yes. I'm fucking terrified. Because I'm only eighteen and I've gotten the man I love pregnant. That means I'm going to be a dad…”
Gerard sighed, looking away again. “Not necessarily.”
“No, you’re right,” I said gently, kissing his cheek softly. “But I really fucking love you, Gerard. Look at me. I love you so so much, and I never want to love anyone else. I'm not going to leave you over this. I'm not going to change my opinion of you. I'm not going to love you any less. I'm not even going to blame you, because we both caused this mess.”
He sniffed and I caught the tears as they rolled down his cheeks. “I love you too.”
I smiled and kissed him softly, stroking his hair away from his face. “I'm glad. Would you like some of that ice cream? We can sit and talk for a bit or we could just sit. It's up to you, Gee. It's your body and it's always gonna be up to you.”
Gerard hugged me tightly. “You're the best person in the world,” he mumbled, his fingers curling against my back.
“If you say so,” I chuckled, kissing his cheek. “Come on. Let me go get some ice cream and then you don't have to let go of me for at least an hour, yeah? You should call in sick tonight, you're in no state to work an ER shift.”
Gerard nodded, letting go of me carefully. I slid off his lap and stood up, walking to the kitchen confidently. I scooped the ice cream into two bowls, then put the rest in the freezer, tapping Pansy’s nose lightly. “Chocolate ice cream is not for doggies.”
I carried the bowls into the living room and Gerard took his carefully. “Thanks, Frankie. I'm sorry I'm useless right now..”
I sat down next to him, resting my head on his shoulder. “It's okay, Geebear. Do you want me to tell anyone or keep it between us for now?”
He sighed, rubbing my leg gently. “Mikey and Mum should know, and I'll probably need to talk to Mum about it anyway. Mikey might help you talk through things. We've got a lot of thinking to do.”
I nodded, kissing his cheek gently. “Yeah, I know. We’ll figure this out, I promise. I love you.”
“I love you too.”

“I don't know how we figure it out.”
Mikey rubbed my shoulder gently. “It's okay, Frankie. It's okay to tell him how you feel.”
I sniffed, wiping my nose on my sleeve. “But he’ll think I'm telling him to get rid of it!”
Mikey sighed loudly. “I don't think he will, Frankie. He’ll understand.”
I wiped the tears off my chin, sniffling again. “I'm just not ready to be a dad, I'm only eighteen! I love kids and I'd love to have a kid with him, but we’ve barely been together for six months! We're not married or engaged or anything...I just...I d-don't know..”
I started to sob again and Mikey hugged me quickly. Pansy climbed up onto the bed, licking my face. I batted her away, giggling softly.
“I'm okay..”
Mikey sighed, rubbing my back slowly. “I don't know what to say to you, Frankie. I know you're trying to protect Gerard and I know he's really vulnerable right now, but you have to be honest with him. Do you want me to talk to him?”
I shook my head slowly. “I think that would upset him. We’re sleeping in different rooms tonight, we need some space to think, both of us. We’re gonna talk in the morning, I think.”
Mikey rubbed my shoulder, letting me pull away from the hug. “Just be honest, Frank. And think about what you want. You love kids, and you'd love to have a baby with him. So the timing’s more than a little off, but so what? You've created new life together and I think that's pretty fucking cool. Maybe you should just take a step back and look at what you've already been through. Gerard handled you going through months of chemo without batting an eye, and you never fought. A kid is gonna be harder, but I don't think it'll hurt your relationship. I don't think anything can.”
I smiled and shrugged, looking down. “We're not all that perfect. But I know what you mean, and I agree. I need to think more about this.”
Mikey hummed softly. “I don't think Gerard could get rid of it anyway. He's too...he gets attached easily. I know that sounds really harsh of me to say, and I don't mean it like that. I mean that having an abortion would probably destroy him. He'd feel guilty for the rest of his life. But it's his decision to make.”
I nodded, rubbing over my now overgrown buzzcut-style hair. “Mm. I know what you mean. But I get the feeling he doesn't want to keep it.”
Mikey sighed, punching my shoulder gently. “He’ll make a decision. He’ll choose what's best for him, just don't let him choose what he thinks is best for you, because this should be about him.”
I smiled slightly. “Yeah, I keep telling him that. He doesn't listen so well.”
Mikey chuckled and shook his head. “He doesn't listen to anything too well.”
“How's Donna?”
He laughed again, leaning his head on my shoulder. “Ecstatic. She's always wanted grandkids. But I know she's worried about Gee too. He's not always as strong as he likes to pretend.”
“Did you hear anything she said to him?”
He took my hand, squeezing it gently. “Frankie, there's a lot of things I'd do for you, but spying on my mum and brother isn't one of them. I stayed out of it while he was with us, he said he wanted privacy.”
I rolled my eyes. “I wasn't asking you to spy on them, I was asking if you heard anything. I'm gonna assume that's a no.”
Mikey sighed softly. “No, but I'm guessing she's saying a lot of the same things we are. That you're very young and a bit frightened, and that it's his choice at the end of the day...all that.”
I nodded slightly, sighing quietly. “Okay.”

---

Gerard was sitting across the room from me.
I folded my hands in my lap, my palms already sweating. I hated talking like this, when I couldn’t touch him. It made me anxious to know that I could be missing things. I could be missing something in the tone of his voice, I could be missing him shaking, I could be missing his body language changing. I wouldn’t know.
I rubbed my face animatedly, my heart beating a little too quickly.
He’d know you’d get like this. He has to know that you hate this. What is he doing?
I swallowed hard, shifting uncomfortably.
“I want to keep it,” Gerard announced at last. I felt my breath catch in my lungs as I ducked my head.
“Okay,” I mumbled, my voice shaky and rough. My fingers trembled as I wrung my hands nervously. “I’m not ready for this, Gee.”
“I know. I’m opening the door for you, Frank. I can be a single dad. I can do this by myself. I don’t need you, and if you want to go, I’m not going to stop you. Do you understand?”
I stood up abruptly, nodding curtly. “I understand. But I don’t think you understand me, Gerard.” I walked away calmly, but allowed myself the luxury of slamming the guest bedroom door behind me. I sat down on the bed and seethed.
He couldn’t claim to know me and tell me he didn’t need me. That I could leave when I wanted. Did he want me to leave?
That thought crushed my chest and I stared into nothingness, barely able to breathe. “Does he want me to go away?” I whispered to myself, slowly drawing my arms around my torso and hugging myself as I curled up.
Fuck.
He wanted me to leave him and his baby alone. He knew I’d be a terrible dad, he knew I wasn’t ready for it. He didn’t want me to hang around and fuck up his kid.
I fell sideways against the bed, ignoring the hot tears streaming down my cheeks. I’d always known I couldn’t keep Gerard for long. He was intelligent, caring, loving...everything I didn’t deserve. And I was being torn away from him because of something I’d always known I’d want one day - a baby.
The door swung open and I didn’t move, shivering slightly.
“I-I’ll go, Gee,” I mumbled, sniffling. “If th-that’s what you want...I’ll leave you alone..”
His footsteps were more uneven than usual as he stumbled to my bed, grabbing me and lifting me up against his chest. “Fuck no...Baby...Oh fuck, I didn’t mean to make you think that...I’m so so sorry, baby. I’m sorry. I never meant that..” I buried my face in his neck, tangling my fingers in his hair as sobs wracked my body.
“Frankie...Jesus, Frankie..” Gerard murmured, rubbing my back slowly. “I don’t want you to leave me. I don’t. I want you to fucking marry me. I’m so fucking scared you’ll leave. I couldn’t sleep last night, I-”
I cut him off by kissing him, cupping his cheeks in my hands and kissing him harder than I’d ever kissed him before. He grinned into it, cradling my head as he sat down on the bed, shifting me so I was sitting in his lap comfortably, neither of us breaking the kiss.
I pulled away at last, panting softly as I rested my forehead on his. “You want to marry me?”
Gerard sniffed, stroking my hair slowly. “One day, baby. I want to spend my life with you.” “I do too,” I admitted breathlessly, snuggling closer to him and shivering. “Fuck, I want to so bad.”
He nuzzled my cheek, purring softly. “We can. We can spend our lives together. Plus one,” he chuckled quietly. “I don’t think I could go through with an abortion, baby, and I think adoption would hurt me even more...I don’t think I have a choice.” I smiled, stroking his cheek slowly, feeling his eyelashes flutter against my hand. “Yes you do have a choice, and you’ve made it. Now we have to figure the rest out.”
Gerard kissed my wrist gently, pulling me a little closer to him. “I know you’re scared, Frankie, and you have every right to be. But I know you’ll be an amazing dad, and I know we’ll get through this together. We have the basis for a plan, and we just have to keep building. But we have just over seven months to do it, so we just have to take our time.”I nodded, hugging him tightly and smiling as he hugged back, just as firmly. “I love you, Gee. So much...do you have another appointment soon?”
Gerard hummed softly as he thought for a second. “I’m seeing the ob-gyn next week for an ultrasound. I’d really like it if you’d come with me.” I giggled, shaking my head slightly. “You dummy. Of course I’ll come, I’d love to come. In fact, I don’t think you could tell me not to come.”
Gerard chuckled and I rolled my eyes. “I know that sounded wrong, but you didn’t have to laugh.”
He laid back, gently pulling me with him. “I’m sorry, sweetie. It was just cute.”
I smiled, slipping out of his grip to lay on my stomach next to him, playing with the fingers of one of his hands. “If you say so. But we both have stuff to do today. I need to finish that paper and you need to go to work soon.” Gerard sighed quietly, rolling onto his side and rubbing my back slowly. “Mm. I just want to lay here with you all day.” I got up carefully, walking into our bedroom and smiling to myself as I heard Gerard jump up and jog after me. I stopped near the bed, slipping my shirt off and stretching slowly, arching my back in the way I knew he loved to see. I yawned and started to unbutton my jeans, still facing away from him as he stood in the doorway behind me. I quickly tugged them off, then dropped my boxers and stretched again. Gerard growled softly, grabbing my hips suddenly. “Don’t you dare fucking move.” I giggled and shifted, realizing that he’d gotten undressed while watching me. “Mhm, why?”
Gerard shoved me down on the bed, a little roughly, but precisely, so as not to hurt me. “Because I said so.” He climbed over me, straddling me as he leaned down, kissing me deeply.

---

I sat with my hand in Gerard’s, listening intently. I couldn’t see the image on the screen, I couldn’t look at the doctor pointing out the baby’s head. But I could hear the heartbeat, and it made my hands shake. The doctor walked out for some reason and Gerard squeezed my hand. “Frankie? You’re shaking, are you okay?” I smiled vaguely. “You’re shaking too,” I pointed out gently.
“That’s because I’m crying, Frankie,” he chuckled, rubbing his thumb over my knuckles. “I wish you could see our baby.”
I leaned over and kissed his cheek softly. “I can hear the heartbeat, Gee.”
He must have noticed the reverential tone in my voice, as he pulled me down into another brief kiss.
“Do you want to know the sex?” Gerard murmured, rubbing my forearm slowly. “We didn’t talk about it..” I grinned and kissed his forehead, brushing his hair out of his face. “I’d love to, but I’m also happy if you’d rather not.” He smiled and stroked my cheek slowly, humming to me for a couple seconds. “I think surprises are overrated.”
I chuckled, pecking his lips. “Do you feel okay? Not sick or anything?”
Gerard nodded slightly. “I've still got a little nausea, but it's manageable. I'm fine, little one.”
I nodded and sat back a bit as the doctor walked in. I kept one hand in Gerard’s, the other on Pansy’s lead. I was getting more dependent on her, as a lot of mornings Gerard would have to duck into the nearest bathroom occasionally or would forget he needed to help me. I didn't mind at all, but I was a little worried about him.
“You're having a girl,” the doctor announced, and I grinned, squeezing Gerard’s hand. I felt him smiling at me.
Gerard held my hand tightly as he parked the car. “There's no need to be worried about this, okay?” He murmured, leaning over to kiss my cheek. “It's just a routine check, and then they're gonna start checking you once every six months.”
I rubbed my eye with the back of my hand, sniffling. “But what if they find something?”
Gerard sighed and kissed my forehead. “I don't think they’ll find anything, sweetie. Not this soon. But if they do, we’ll just deal with it. It's only been two months since they gave you the all-clear, I'm sure you'll be fine.”
I nodded and leaned over, putting a hand on his stomach lightly. “I love you.”
Gerard smiled and put his hand over mine, his thumb running over the back of my hand. “I love you too. Let's go in, yeah?”
I nodded and pulled away carefully, getting out of the car and waiting for Gerard to take my hand. He wrapped an arm around my waist instead, walking me into the hospital quietly. We were waiting for the elevator when I heard a voice behind me.
“Hey, Frank! Long time no see!”
I groaned internally, feeling Gerard look at me as the doctor walked around in front of me.
“Hi,” I smiled fakely, squeezing Gerard’s hand.
“Hey, it looks like you must be doing well,” Doctor Stump said quietly. “Who’s this?” I leaned my head on Gerard’s arm, feeling the blush already creeping up my neck. “This is Gerard, he’s my boyfriend.”
The elevator dinged and the doctor sighed. “I’d better let you go, then. I’ll see you around, Frank.”
Gerard gently pulled me into the elevator. I didn’t look at him as I heard the doors slide closed.
“Who was that?”
“A doctor.”
“Yeah, okay, no shit. Why does he know you?” I bit my lip softly. “I broke my arm when I was in middle school and he treated me when I got here.”
Gerard hesitated. “Okay.”
But I could tell he didn’t believe the lie. I shivered as the doors opened again and Gerard stepped out, his grip on my hand loosening slightly.

Notes