I held the plush puppy to my chest, trembling as Gerard held my hand. We were waiting for the doctor to come in. Gerard stroked my hair and sighed. “Baby, I think we should shave your head..”
I glared at him, then sighed as well, ducking my head. “If you think so.”
“I think you’ll look like a badass,” Gerard chuckled, leaning over and kissing my cheek. I hugged Sweetpea closer to me, sniffling.
“I don't feel like a person, let alone a badass.”
I heard footsteps just before the door opened and someone slipped into the room.
“Hey, Frank,” said a quiet voice. The doctor squeezed my shoulder gently.
“Hi, Doctor Parente..” I mumbled, leaning towards Gerard slightly. The doctor walked away from me, sitting down behind his desk in front of us.
“I've had the scan results back, and I'm really pleased to say that it's looking really good! Your chemo is completely on track and you should be all set to finish before your birthday. I'm going to order you another scan in a month, okay? But for now, I think you boys should go home, get some rest.”

Gerard kissed me as soon as we were in the privacy of his car. “I'm so pleased, Frankie,” he murmured, stroking my cheek slowly. “We’re gonna get through this, I promise.”
I sniffed, resting my forehead on his. “I hope so.”
My hands were shaking, but that wasn't uncommon. I'd already lost a lot of weight, due to having no appetite and throwing up pretty much anything I tried to eat. Gerard stroked my side slowly, humming softly. “You're gonna be just fine, Frankie. What do you wanna do for a while?”
“Can we just go home? I'm so tired..”
Gerard kissed me again, softer and with even more love. “Of course. I love you.”

---

I threw up again, shaking badly. Mikey took the basin from me, then swore loudly and got up, hurrying out of the room. A nurse ran in a few minutes later, then ran out again. Mikey came back and sat down on the edge of the bed. “You're throwing up blood again, Frankie,” he said quietly, rubbing my leg gently. “They're gonna go get the doctor.”
I nodded, too exhausted to care as I leaned my head back against the wall. I could hear people walking and talking outside, and one person running. The door was pushed open quickly and the person stood there for a second, then hurried over and kissed my forehead.
“Hi Gee,” I murmured, my voice raspy. He nuzzled my cheek, then pulled me into a hug. I tried to wriggle away, fire dancing on my skin as he touched me. Gerard held on and I relaxed quickly, burying my face in his neck. “I can't be long, baby, I'm sorry. I heard what's going on and I just wanted to see you. You're going to be okay. You're gonna fight through this, whatever it is..”
Someone else came into the room and Gerard let go of me, rubbing my shoulder.
“Hello, Gerard,” Doctor Parente said quietly. “I heard you'd been placed in the ER. That'll keep your scrubs decorated.”
Gerard sighed and I suddenly noticed the metallic stink of blood radiating off him. I gently pushed him away, wrinkling my nose so he knew why.
The doctor walked over to me. “How are you feeling?” He asked, gently pressing on my stomach.
“Tired, nauseous. Shaky. My skin hurts to touch.”
“How's your stomach feeling?”
I shrugged. “It hurts, but no more than usual.”
“Okay. I think your stomach lining is probably just inflamed. Somebody keep an eye on this, if he keeps vomiting blood for more than twenty four hours, let me know.”
“Okay,” Gerard said quietly. “Mikey, did you get that?”
“Yeah,” he murmured, rubbing my leg gently. “I'll keep you updated, Gee. Go back to work..”
Gerard sighed and waited until the doctor left, then touched my arm lightly. “Can I have a quick kiss?”
I nodded, smiling slightly. “You smell bad.”
“I know, I'm sorry,” he chuckled, leaning down and kissing me softly. “I gotta go, but I'll be back here at five to take you home, yeah?”
I brushed my fingers over his cheek. “Okay. I love you.”
Gerard smiled, squeezing my shoulder. “I love you too, and that haircut still looks good on you, baby.”
I rolled my eyes and waved. “Go away.”
Mikey shifted closer to me as Gerard walked out quietly. I sighed and leaned my head on his shoulder. “I feel shitty.”
“I know, Frankie,” he murmured, rubbing my back. I batted his hand away casually and he ignored it. “Just fifteen more minutes.”

---

Gerard's keys jingled as he walked into the apartment. “Frankie?”
I didn't reply, curling up a little tighter on the couch, but turning up the tv volume a little so he'd figure out where I was.
His footsteps came closer as the smell of Indian takeout flooded the room.
“I brought dinner home, baby,” he murmured, standing behind me. I shrugged and nodded slightly, not moving.
“Have I done something wrong?”
I shook my head slowly and he walked around to sit next to me, his hand resting on my leg. “What's wrong, then?”
I shifted and hugged the envelope a little tighter to my chest before sighing and handing it over to him. He opened it carefully, pulling the paper out. “Baby, I can't read this, can you tell me what it says?” He asked gently, shifting closer to me.
I tapped the Braille paper lightly, trying not to cry. “I got accepted into Princeton,” I whispered. “And Harvard. The best schools in the fucking country.”
Gerard wrapped an arm around my shoulders, kissing my cheek softly. “That's amazing, baby. So why are you so upset?”
I moved away from him carefully, closing my eyes and starting to tremble slightly. “Because I would be going there next month, Gee. But I'm tied to the fucking hospital.”
Gerard sighed and tapped my shoulder gently. “Alright, come cuddle. Come on. You're being silly,” he murmured, trying to cheer me up as I climbed half into his lap, pressing myself against his chest and trying to ignore the pain on my skin. “You can go next year. Just send a letter back, explain everything. They can't reject you next year because you were too sick to go this year. What do you wanna study anyway, baby?”
I hugged one of his arms, sighing quietly. “I don't know, but I think I'd like to teach.”
Gerard smiled, nuzzling my cheek. “You'd make a great professor, I bet you could pull off the elbow patches.”
I giggled, but tears started to spill down my cheeks. Gerard wiped them away gently.
“Come on, sweetie. It's just a minor set back.” He pulled the hood of my hoodie over my head, rubbing my side. “You'll go next year. Send them a letter back as soon as possible and explain what's going on. Tell them you're really excited to go, you just can't yet. They'll understand, baby.”
I nodded, rubbing my eyes and sniffling. “I didn't think I'd get in...not with my disability.”
He shrugged and kissed my cheek softly. “In some ways, it helps you, because people who don't have difficulties look at you and go ‘wow he's done all that and he can't see.’ They may be kinda stupid, but you have had to work really fucking hard, and universities will understand that. Plus you have a fucking four point oh, that's incredible for anyone really.”
I smiled and stroked his chest slowly. “Thanks for bringing dinner home..”
Gerard laughed and carefully lifted me off his lap. “Yeah, I know what that means. You wait here, I'll bring you a plate.”
I folded my hands in my lap, waiting patiently. He tapped my shoulder before handing me the plate carefully. “You okay?”
I nodded, leaning towards him slightly.
“Let me go get mine, I'll be there in a second.”
I smiled as Gerard sat down next to me, handing me a knife and fork. “Are you feeling a little better, sweetie?”
I leaned my head on his shoulder lightly. “A little.”
“That's good. Would you be okay if I went out tonight?”
I blinked, eating a bite of my curry before answering. “To do what?”
Gerard sighed softly. “An old friend of mine is back in town and I want to go have a couple drinks with him.”
I stared straight ahead, into the blackness. “I thought you didn't drink anymore.”
Gerard seemed to relax. “Is that why you're getting upset? Frankie, he's gonna have beer and I'm gonna have Coke. I really don't drink anymore. Ever.”
I felt my shoulders slump and I dropped my fork, turning my head away from him. “Shit. I'm sorry..”
Gerard chuckled and rubbed my shoulder slowly as he leaned in and kissed my cheek. “No, it's okay. It's alright, Frankie. You didn't know and it made sense for you to worry. Just next time ask me directly, okay? It's a little easier to sort out that way.”
I nodded slightly, and he rubbed my forearm lightly. “Come on. Finish your food, sweetie.”
I sniffed and chewed on my lip lightly. “You should go out tonight, Gee..”
“Are you sure? I'm still a bit worried about you.”
I shook my head quickly. “I'm fine, Gee. I haven't been sick for a couple days and I wouldn't mind some time on my own anyway.”
“Oh, really now?” Gerard laughed, rubbing my back.
I giggled and rolled my eyes. “Alone time is good in a relationship, Gee. And so is time with friends. I'll call you if I need you.”
“Alright, as long as you're sure..” Gerard hummed, kissing my cheek softly. “I love you, you know. Very much.”
I giggled again, leaning into him. “Oh, we're at ‘very much’ now? No one told me.”
Gerard chuckled softly, nuzzling me gently. “I am.”
I smiled and he kissed my jaw. “Finish your food, Frankie, you're still losing weight, love.”
I frowned. “Please don't-”
“I'm sorry, I know. I shouldn't have said it like that. I'm just a little worried.”
I sighed, finishing off another mouthful. “Me too..”
“I'm gonna go get changed, is that alright?”
I nodded, flashing him a quick smile. “Sure. I'll finish this, I promise. I'm just slow.”
Gerard chuckled as he got up. “Take your time, then,” he murmured, kissing my forehead.

Gerard came home at about midnight, stripping down to his boxers and crawling into bed with me. I rolled over sleepily, grabbing at his chest and mostly missing. He snorted softly and pulled me close to him, nuzzling my neck. “Hey.”
“Hi. You smell like beer.”
“Mhm, Alex spilled some on me.”
I nodded, running my hand down his side. “I know. It's not on your breath. Did you have fun?”
Gerard sighed and brushed his knuckles over one of my eyebrows and back, past where my hairline should have been. “Yeah, I did. You look exhausted, beautiful. Try and get some more rest.”
I groaned softly and sat up slightly. “I threw up dinner.”
“All of it?”
I nodded and Gerard sighed, gently pulling me down and slipping my shirt off. “Come cuddle. Come on. I'll make you feel better.”
I snuggled up to his chest, our skin sticking together. He rubbed my shoulder slowly, humming to me quietly. “You're so beautiful, Frankie. And you'll be done before your birthday. Remember that, yeah?”
I nodded and yawned, burying my face in his neck comfortably. He trailed his fingertips down my spine, stopping just before the small of my back and starting at the base of my neck again.
“I love you, little one.”
I sighed softly and kissed his jaw. “I love you too. You have so many pet names for me..”
“Mhm. I can never pick one,” he chuckled. “Sorry about that.”
“I never really call you anything,” I mumbled, my eyes closing up.
“No, but that's okay. I don't mind.”
“It's not that I don't...I just don't really like it. I don't know.”
“It's okay. Really,” Gerard soothed, now smoothing his knuckles over my spine. “I don't expect you to, and I'm not gonna force you to. Gee is fine.”
“But Mikey calls you Gee,” I pointed out quietly.
“So? Mikey called you sweetie. It doesn't matter, baby. It doesn't mean you love me any less or anything like that.”
I sighed again, too tired to argue. “Okay..”
Gerard stopped stroking my back and wrapped his arms around me tightly. “Get some sleep. You're so tired, baby. I know you're tired.”
I yawned and snuggled even closer to him, my body relaxing slowly.

Notes