4:00pm

It's about 4:00pm, I'm staring out of my window at the mini store when a sudden buzz causes me to jump.
Riiing Riiing
Ah, it's a call from Mikey, I swipe the screen to answer and place my phone against my ear.

I wait for him to speak first, as usual.
"Gerard?" Mikey asks. I recognise that familiar voice of my little brother.
"Yeah, it's me. Hey Mikey how's it going?" I say smiling to myself down the phone. I have not spoken to him ages, well I haven't spoken to anyone in ages to be honest!
"Gerard, we haven't spoken for a while now and I was just wondering how things are going, man."
"Well things are going..." I pause, unable to answer him. How are things going? Last time I checked not so well, and how am I supposed to answer such a vague question anyway? How are things going? How are things going? What does he want to know? What does he want from me exactly? Why is he even calling me in the first place!? Does he want something from me?
"Gerard?" Mikey says after a long silence.
"Uh, Mikey I don't know how things are going, do you?" I breathe in heavily and sigh.
"Are you doing okay?" My little brother asks with genuine concern.
"I..." I pause yet again. I can't tell him anything. He doesn't even know that I am gay, he knows nothing. I love him with all of my heart but the minute he tells Mom and Dad something about me that is meant to be kept a secret, well, that's the minute they lose their respect for me and their love. I just can't tell him. Besides he might not want to even talk to me or hang out with me anymore once he finds out who I really am. A gay, fag.
"Gerard, I am worried about you.. I'm coming over."
"Mikey do-" He hangs up. I stomp my foot and smack my forehead with the back of my hand. He is coming over. He is coming over.
I look like utter shit, I haven't had a shower in God knows how long, I bet I stink as well.
I dart over to the bathroom and stare long and hard at myself in the mirror.
Horrific.
My hair is a tangled, greasy, black mess. There's a few pimples forming on my forehead, from stress. My eyes have deep, purple bags sitting beneath them and there's still some remains of smudged black eyeliner under them to top it off.
Mikey could be here any minute, I quickly dash over to my closet and pick out a clean pair of jeans and any old t-shirt. I get some underwear out from my drawers and bring everything to the bathroom so I can put them off after a quick shower.
I hop into the shower and scrub my face, wash my greasy hair and try to clean off all of the body odour so that Mikey doesn't think I'm a slob.
The hot water seems to ease my ongoing headache and clears my mind a little. I watch the glass door steam up and the little water droplets landing onto each other, some moulding with each other. I reach out my finger to touch it, noticing the marks I can make. It reminds me of being a kid again, drawing smiley faces on the car window as my parents drive. I smile to myself and begin to draw a heart in the condensation. I draw a lightening bolt inside the heart, to indicate that it is broken then wipe away my image quickly, realising the time.
I turn the shower off and get out of there quickly and dry off, using a hair dryer on my wet knotted hair and giving it a quick brush whilst still in my towel.
I hurriedly put on my clothes and slap on some moisturiser onto my face in attempt to get rid of those little dried skin bits to make my skin look smoother and healthier.
That's when I hear the knock on the door. Mikey. I thought to myself.
I quickly brush my teeth so I don't have bad breath and rush to the door where I am greeted by a slim boy with swoopy brown hair and glasses, known as my brother.
He smiles warmly at me and gently pushes past me to get into my apartment.
"Hi Mikes." I try to smile, though it seems almost as if I have forgotten. It is forced, I frown to myself.
Mikey walks over to my couch and signals me to come sit, I close the door behind me and waddle over nonchalantly.
"Gerard. I was worried about you after that phone call, I just had to come and see if you were alright. Are you okay?" Mikey smiled, looking into my eyes sympathetically.
"I'm fine Mikey, was just a little tired I guess." I really appreciate him coming over, it shows he really cares about me and that makes me feel sorta happy inside. I touch my stomach and smile to myself.
"No offence bro, but you look like you haven't eaten in days!" He frowns, with a worried look in his eyes. "Let's go get some dinner out, eh?"
I ponder on that for a second then shake my head.
"Why not?" He frowns, placing a hand onto my knee, I wince.
"I don't feel like going out in public right now." I don't want to in case I see Frank walking outside and I have to leave. It might confuse Mikey and make him think I'm being rude or hate him or something. But then as I think of it more, it might not be a bad thing to go out because of if I see Frank! And then I can explain to Mikey he is just a friend and haven't seen him in a while, then I can be reunited with him!
Mikey, turns and faces the TV, "Anything good on right now?" He asks, calmly.
"Wait, Mikey. Maybe we should go out for some dinner. I am hungry." I say awkwardly, scratching the back of my head.
"Great! I'm so happy that you want to!" Mikey beams, "And don't worry I'll pay!"
"No, no Mikey you don't have to!" I smile, half hoping he still wants to pay anyway, seen as my current financial situation, isn't the best...
"No bro, I insist! Besides I have a new job after college these days, I am getting a good pay whilst still living with Mum and Dad!" Mikey smiles, looking seemingly proud of himself. He gets up and walks over to the door and waits for me.
I put on my coat and sneakers and smile up at him to show I'm ready. He opens to door and I lock it behind us.
"Do you wanna go some place far or is there any good places local?" Mikey asks as we walk down that endless, spiraling staircase.
"Let's eat local." I suggest. "Infact I know a great place opposite my apartment, next to that ministore." I grin, pointing over to it.
"Oh Italian, nice." Mikey nods, "I do have a craving for spaghetti!" He chuckles.
"Hey, so do I." I giggle.
We walk over to the restaurant through the thick, white snow whilst having nice, brotherly mindless chatter. It feels great being with Mikey again, almost like all of my other problems are far away right now, but they are still there. And they will of course always remain a part of me until I resolve them.
I will find Frank. I know I will.
And I know that we will be together forever after I do.

Notes