*um, contains violence*

Breakfast. Again. Its just a constant cycle every day. Wake up. Get dressed. Laugh at how stupid my attempt of a life is. Go for breakfast. Get made fun of by Liam. Sometimes end up in the hospital wing or go to therapy with a person who pretends that they can help me. Then it's more food and then sitting in a room by myself for the rest of the day listening to the voices before trying to sleep and failing. Then the sun rises and its breakfast again. And to be quite honest with you I'm pretty sick of it by now.
Breakfast tastes like shit. I can't speak to Frank because there is no Frank. He didn't save me last night. He let the army of guards hunt me down and hack at my skin: which still stung if I even moved. Despite my screams and explanations to the staff and the nurses about the blood that escaped my arms and the scratches and stab marks they simply ignored me. They said they weren't there but they were. The blood was coating my arms and the white bed sheets were an ugly crimson colour.
But they didn't care. Why should they care about me?
You see...this is what goes through my mind when I don't have Frank to talk to. I just wanted someone to talk to.

"Hey Gerard." A voice sneered as a huge figure stood over me as I tried to eat in the hidden away corner of the dining hall.
"Liam...please not today..."
"What?!" He laughed with an unlit cigarette dangling from his mouth: moving in time with his lips as he spoke. One end of the cigarette matched perfectly with his ginger hair which fell messily to one side, it was only now that I noticed the tattoos that cloaked his arms. Dragons and skulls and tigers and symbols. How could he even stand the needles?
"Oi fuckface!" He clicked his chubby fingers in front of my face causing me to snap out of my trance.
"What do you want Liam?"
"Where's Frank today?!" He sniggered, taking a seat next to me and putting his mucky old boots up on the table.
"Frank's not here at the moment..." I mumbled quietly hoping that he wouldn't hear.
"Hey its fine....you could just pretend he's real for now oh-wait no...you do that every day don't you?!"
"Fucking LIAR!" I yelled, jumping up onto the table and booting the prick in the face. He fell backwards from his chair and scrambled around on the floor.

I jumped down next to him. "Don't speak about Frank like that! He is my best friend! He is the only reason I am still alive!"
"Frank is the same as your reason to live: non-existent! Worthless piece of shit!!!"
"FUCK YOU!" I cried, throwing my fist into his chest. Not quick enough. He had me by the throat. His fingers were clamped tightly around my neck and he dragged me from the floor gagging and begging for oxygen, throwing me up against the wall. My lungs seemed to ache as I longed to breath and it felt as if they were going to burst through my ribs and spill out of my gasping body.

"A worthless unloved fuck like you is not allowed to attack me!"

He removed his grip from my neck and I slunk to the floor, nursing my neck and the bruises that wrapped around it as if they were a pretty necklace. Punches rained down on me: as common as rain falling from a murky storm cloud.
"You have no reason to be alive!" He yelled as he threw me against the wall and pressed his huge boots onto my heaving chest.
"Go fucking kill yourself anyway! Your family hates you! Everyone hates you! Fuck! Even your imaginary friend hates you! So why don't you go and put us all out of our misery!"
Blood spluttered from my mouth and the crimson liquid formed a puddle around me.
"The only day that I'll ever smile again is the day when you're fucking dead! I hate you!"
"Frank! Frank help me!" I whimpered gently as darkness started to creep in around the edges of my eyes.

I'm sorry Gee. I can't. I can't help you. I'm sorry.

It was Frank. It was Franks voice. Weak and almost non-existent but still it floated along the air.

"Frank!!!" I tried to cry for help again but I could barely move my lips to speak, all the energy needed to spit these pathetic words out had disappeared.
"Frank help me!" Liam mocked, "Frankie save me! Be my knight in shining armour!" He laughed as he brought his elbow around into my face and it made contact heavily causing me to cry out in pain. Blood started to form in my mouth and I spat the metallic taste out but still it lingered.

Why was it taking the staff so long to reach us? Why hadn't they broken up this fight yet?
They just seemed to be walking casually towards me as if this sort of thing happened every day, regardless to the fact that I was struggling to breathe. Struggling to keep my eyes open. Before my closing eyes I saw Liam being dragged off into the distance with arms flailing and him still screeching: "You'd be better off dead!"
I saw my nurses face, the short blonde hair falling gently onto my blooded face. Her mouth moved but no words met my ears as I slowly slipped into the darkness.

---

"Gerard!" A panicked voice spoke and the human that it belonged to shook me gently.
"What...what...oh....hi" I mumbled, sitting up immediately and wiping my eyes. White blooded sheets surrounded me, bruises surrounded my arms, white walls surrounded me the only light coming from the tiny window which I had spoken to Mikey through the night before. I was back in my 'bedroom' or better known as 'Room H271' with the blonde haired nurse sat at the bottom of my bed.
"Gerard, how are you?"
I shrugged.
"What's wrong?" She asked.

What's wrong? Do you want a fucking list of all the things that are wrong? Because that's what you're gunna get:
1. My dad hates me and bans my family from seeing me.
2. I'm stuck in this fucking mental hospice for the rest of my entire life.
3. I had a best friend but now he's left me and I have no one to talk to.
4. For all I know Frank might be dead.
5. The staff here don't believe me when I tell them that Frank is hurt.
6. Everybody here is a liar. They lie because they are too lazy to explain the truth.
7. I'm forced into therapy sessions where I have to talk about my feelings with someone who only pretends...no....lies and says that they understand.
8. Then there's Liam who just enjoys using a worthless fuck like me as a punch bag.
9. I can't sleep.
10. Life is just an endless fucking cycle. The same thing every day until I'll eventually die and at this point in time it doesn't seem too bad of an option.
Do I need to continue? There's plenty more.

"Gerard..." Nurse repeated, "Gerard what's wrong?"
I shrugged again, keeping the 10 point list to myself.
"Listen: that wasn't all your fault out there and he really hurt you. But you have to learn not to react when someone talks about Frank like that, okay?"
She seemed to pause on the word 'Frank' almost contemplating as if she wasn't sure if she should speak his name.
"Just ignore what he says okay...It isn't that difficult Gerard. Just ignore him." She spoke again.

It's not that easy though is it? Nothing is either if its ignoring people when they talk shit about the things that mean most to you or when you are simply trying to get better. Its not that fucking easy!
I shrugged again as I felt anger boil up inside of me and I felt it begin to curdle in my stomach.

"We've talked about Frank and the voices before Gerard. You have to understand that its y-"
"Get out!!!" I yelled, standing up and tugging her from the bed by her arm.
"Don't speak about Frank or me like that! Now get out!" I marched her across the room and watched as she unlocked the door, stepped outside, locked the door again and them walked off down the corridor.

Notes

Hello again. I hope this chapter was okay. I just really hate Liam though.
I haven't listened to maroon 5 for ages and I am now and I forgot how much I like the songs about Jane album. Anyway....back to my long paragraph of 'Notes'.
I'm really sorry but there wont be another update until at least Monday, I'm off on a camping/walking trip/expedition in the middle of nowhere thing over the weekend and wont have time to write. I'm sorry. But I hope you are doing well! :) See you Monday!
-Lou