Is it love or is it hate

Gerard's POV:

We get to an old tree fort and go and sit in some of the old dusty bean bag chairs in there. The walls are filled with posters of bands and there are piles of comics on the floor. It looks like we are interested in a lot of the same things but I can't shake the feeling of my heart fluttering every time I look at him. I know he is gay but I doubt he would ever go for me. He always messaged me about this beautiful, tall, fit looking boy with raven black hair and a perfect smile. Almost the complete opposite of me. I am not beautiful, I have too many scars, I'm fat, my smile is crocked and I have too pale skin. Frank is perfect though, he has beautiful eyes, a perfect smile, he is adorably short, his tattoos are magnificent and he is so beautiful. I would love to be his boyfriend but it's obvious he has his eyes set on somebody else. Suddenly the topic of crushes came up.

"You have a crush on anyone" Frank asks me. Surprisingly not in a teasing manner like usual.

"Umm, yeah I do. I doubt he likes me back though. He is nice but he has a crush on someone else. I know you like somebody, I bet they are super nice." I say quietly and look at my feet.

"Yeah, they are. I can't believe they haven't realized it's them though because they are the only person I trust and they are the only person that knows I'm gay." He said quietly but just loud enough for me to hear. Am I really the only person that knows he's gay? Is he talking about me? Oh my god he's talking about me.

"Frank, do you have a crush on me?" I ask looking up to him. I am probably tomato red but still, I have a crush on him too.

"Yes. If you don't feel the same that's okay. I have just had a crush on you ever since I saw you. I got pulled into the wrong crowd but now I feel like I can tell you anything." He says to me still looking at his feet. I walk up to him and sit right in front of him.

"Frank, the person I have a crush on has the biggest heart, the nicest smile, and is the most beautiful person in the world. The best thing is, apparently I'm his crush too." I say as I lift his face up to look at mine.

"Really? I'd like to meet him someday." he frowns. I don't think he understands that I mean him.

"Don't get it do you Frankie? Frank you are my crush." I say as he gasps. I close the small gap between us and pull him into a soft kiss. He sits there frozen for a few seconds before moving along with me.

"How long Gee?" He asks. Did I just get a new nickname? I like it. It sounds adorable coming from his lips.

"When you smiled at me for the first time ever. So today when we met in the washroom." I smile at him and he smiles back. "I really though when we were talking online you were talking about someone else. I don't see any of the attribues you described. I never thought that you have thought about me that way." I say while putting my hand on his knee. He looks up to me.

"Gee, never think of yourself like that. You are beautiful and amazing. I don't know what I would do if I hadn't talked to you. You remember what I told you online? There was a boy that I loved but hated me, I didn't want to see him hurt but I did everyday and now I have scars because I wasn't strong enough to stop it. The poor boy never thought he was beautiful and know when the person that is crushing on him is telling him he is I can still see doubt in his eyes and it hurts." He says to me and I can feel myself tearing up. He really means it. He thinks I'm beautiful. He hurt himself because he saw I was in pain. I hug him.

"Frankie please never hurt yourself again. I have dealt with pain and suffering my whole life so none of this is really new but please seeing you do that I don't know where I would be now. The only thing that I had left to live for before I came to school today was talking to you on the computer." I say my head buried in the crook of his neck. I hear him gasp as the arm of my sweater pulled up. Frank pushed away from our hug examining my arm full of scars. Mostly new ones, they aren't shallow either. He looks up at me with pained eyes I could see him tearing up.

"Gee, I'm so sorry. Please don't do this ever again. I'm here to help now. I want to take care of you and help you. They are so deep and there are so many of them. Why Gee? I won't hurt myself as long as you promise me that you won't hurt yourself. You mean so much to me and I don't want to see you hurt. I don't care if they start beating me up, you mean the world to me so if I can take the pain away from you I will." I hear Frank say to me. He didn't know me very well but yet he wants to change all of his ways just so he can be with me.

"Frank I won't cut again as long as you care for me. I cut because of all the beatings and the mean comments and all of that. I was going to end it all as soon as school ended but now getting to be around you I don't want it to end. They won't beat you up Frank. I don't stand up for myself because I never had a cause to but now that you are with me I have something to stand up for. I know I have the strength to fight back but I've never been able to do it because I never had something to fight for. Now I do." I say putting my hand on Frank's smaller more delicate one. He looks at me and smiles.

"Gerard, would you maybe, possibly like to be my um, boyfriend?" He asks nervously. I giggle and nod my head yes as I pull him in for another kiss.

Notes

Ohhh! got some lovey dovey stuffs going on here!