Is it love or is it hate

Gerard's POV:

Okay, what I did earlier was unnecessary. He turned me on and I shouldn't have said those things. Yes I love him but I want to make our first time special and not just press him against a table and fuck him senseless.

We are walking back to his hand in hand. God he's so beautiful, I wish I didn't dirty his mind. His beautiful and used to be innocent mind. "I'm sorry about earlier at lunch Frankie. I've got a rotten mind. Look, I want to make our first time special. I don't want to just randomly fuck you senseless. I love you and honestly you deserve so much more than me." I say. He stops and I can't look in his eyes. He lets out a huge sigh.

"Gee, don't be sorry baby. I've got a rotten mind too. I want to make our first time special too. We're just two horny teens. I love you too baby and you are perfect. You are my world, there is nothing better than you. I don't just want you. I need you. Please don't think bad of yourself baby. My moms not home for the weekend, has a work trip." He says to me and hugs me. I hug him back.

We get back to the house and I've been twitching for days. My minds going fucking insane, I haven't had a cig and Frankie doesn't know my need for them. Thankfully he supplies me with coffee. My other addiction. I used to be addicted to a lot of things before I talked to Guitar Man. He didn't know about my addictions though. Only my cutting and suicidal thoughts.

"Hey Gee, do you mind if I smoke? I've been itching for one but I didn't want to do it if you were allergic or something." He says. I sigh with relief.

"Only if I can bum one off of you. God I haven't had a smoke in what feels like weeks. It's almost like I quit cold turkey again." I say and slap my hands over my mouth. Shit, I may have just admitted to doing drugs.

"Gee, what do you mean by again and yeah you can bum a cig off of me. I didn't know you smoked. I guess you didn't know I smoked either though." He says and lights two cigs and passes me mine. I take a long drag and let the smoke dance around my face. Frankie looks at me in awe, like I've just done the best thing in the world. He takes a quick puff and waits for me to answer.

"Thanks. I um, used to do a lot of bad shit. Talking to you online helped me quit. I just went cold turkey to everything except caffeine and cigs. I um, used to be an um, alcoholic. I was addicted to everything from weed to coke. After Mikey left me I was always high and drunk. I would wake up under bridges, ontop of roofs, in backyards, even by ropes that were tied in drunken nooses. I was at an All Time Low. Like an All American Reject. Instead of waving a white flag I was waving a Black Flag. It was like Smashing Pumpkins over my head. I just wanted to die. I met you online though. I stopped after my first week of talking to you. Now I just have coffee, cigs and you as my additions. You are My Chemical Romance baby. We'll have no more falling outs with the boys and nobody will be panicking at the disco." I say. He gives me sad eyes when I talk about the addictions but snorts when I use band names as my analogies. He pulls me into a tight hug after my spiel.

"It's not your fault Gee. You quit too, that's what I'm happy about. I don't care what you did, you are still here and that's what counts. And Gee, you have a fucking great taste in music. But what's My Chemical Romance? And Fall Out Boy? And Panic! At the Disco?" He asks and we both drag on our cigs. I giggle and give him a shot gun. He giggles as he puffs out my smoke.

"Shot guns okay? I'm glad I quit. We have a fucking great taste in music. My Chemical Romance is the name of the band that Mikey and I always dreamed of starting. Fall Out Boy is a thought for a rock/soul band. Panic! At the Disco is a very fucking gay band, lots of sparkles." I say. He smiles and grabs my face and shot guns me. I laugh and shot gun it back to him. He takes another drag and blows it over my face.

"Shot guns with my boyfriend are always okay. I play guitar! I know Mikey plays bass, Ray plays guitar, Bob plays drums, what do you play? I'd love to be in a band with my friends." He says and I crack a smile at the thought.

"I'd love to be in a band with my friends and boyfriend, I don't play any instrument unless my voice counts. You've heard me sing before. Remember?" I ask. His eyes go wide.

"Fuck, I though that was a dream. You sing like a fucking angel Gee. Let's try and start the band!" He says. We finish our cigs. It's kind of late and we're both exhausted. He strip to our boxers and fall onto the bed. As soon as we land we're asleep.

Notes