Getting Over Gerard Way...

Frank Iero was in love. He was uncontrollably, undoubtedly and irreversibly in love. It had been that way for years and years. It all started when he met Gerard Way for the first time. His brother, Mikey, brought him to a party one weekend and he was this enigma. The older Way brother that no one had ever met. Frank must’ve only been 18, but he was intrigued by the guy with the greasy black hair who smelled like day old cigarette smoke and vodka. The obsession started then and it grew. Now Frank was 25 and he was on tour with the biggest band in the world. And Gerard Way was with him. Every single night moaning into the mic, kissing him, grinding and acting in ways that would make a nun swoon.

Frank was in love with Gerard, but he didn’t feel the same way. It was the same every night for the past 3 years. Gerard would get worked up by performing, got hard just from the music and the adrenaline and the way Frank would scream into the mic and grind against his guitar. Because Gerard was not in love with Frank; he was in lust with him and Frank was okay with that. Because Gerard would lean over him telling how beautiful he was and good he felt and how much he loved him; in the heat of the quiet hushed sex that followed the show. Then Gerard would get off and pull out and lay beside Frank and, if he had to, he’d blow him, because Gerard Way was a gentleman like that, and then he’d kiss his cheek and slip out of the bunk.

‘Goodnight Frankie.’ And then he would be gone and Frank would be left alone to cry silently or sometimes just to stare at the roof of his bunk and think about how much he hated how that man made him feel. Gerard used him, he knew that he wasn’t deluded. However, whenever Gerard would pin him against a wall after a show and whisper filthy things into his ear Frank just couldn’t say no. Because he loved him and even if he only got a few moments of intimacy with him it was something and some people wouldn’t even get a second glance from him. Frank got everything physical and nothing emotional and that was okay. Gerard wasn’t actually using him because he wasn’t aware of how Frank felt. Frank thought about telling him, admitting his feelings, and getting it all off his chest. But there were two outcomes. Gerard would fall into his arms and kiss him and tell him he felt the same way; unlikely. The second was that it would all stop: the kisses, the lustful looks, the touches when no one was looking and, most importantly, the after-show sex. It would all stop because Gerard wouldn’t want to lead Frank on or break his heart.

But Frank wanted Gerard to do whatever he pleased with his goddamn heart as long as in exchange he would keep calling him baby when no one else was listening.

‘Frankie?’ Gerard huffed out one night after he’d blown Frank. He was lying beside him on his back and Frank was on his side playing with Gerard’s hair. Frank hummed. ‘You know the bassist for MSI?’ Frank nodded.

‘Lindsey.’ He knew her. She was actually pretty cool and she and Frank had had a long conversation about the Bouncing Souls once.

‘She’s, alright, isn’t she?’ Frank nodded.

‘I guess.’ Frank mumbled staring at Gerard’s features as he spoke.

‘Yeah, I fucked her in MSI’s tour bus the other day and I don’t know she’s getting clingy.’ Frank only frowned. ‘I mean she’s hot. But I’m not looking for anything and even if I was I…’ He trailed off.

‘What?’ Frank said not really caring, but being Gerard’s fuckbuddy also meant being his therapist.

‘I don’t know.’ Gerard turned towards Frank and smiled. ‘I think if I was ever going to settle down It would be with you.’ Franks' heart jumped. He kept his face still though and only glanced briefly at his eyes and continued to play with his hair. ‘I don’t know. You’re my best friend and you’re a good fuck. That’s all you need in a good boyfriend.’ Frank laughed. ‘But I don’t want to settle down. I just want to…’

‘Fuck and leave.’ Frank muttered twisting Gerard hair between his fingers and smiling.

‘You get me; Frankie.’ He mumbled yawning. ‘Can I sleep here?’ Frank nodded not moving his hand away. Gerard moved closer to him letting his head settle against Franks' chest. ‘Night Frankie.’ He said before cuddling closer and falling sleep in Franks' arms.

Two months later Gerard and Lindsey were engaged. And Frank had been promoted. From fuck-buddy to bit on the side. It hurt more now because Frank would be all over Gerard sucking on his neck kissing down his chest while Gerard told him how amazing he was. Then not even an hour later he would walk into the lounge to see Lindsey sitting on Gerard’s knee talking to him.

‘Frankie!’ She’d jump up and swing her arms around the smaller man and kiss his cheek. Frank would catch Gerard’s stare and he’d smile. Then Frank would come to the conclusion that Gerard got off on it. The thought that his fiancée and his best friend, who he fucked on occasion probably more that he fucked his on fiancée, were so close and such good friends while he lied to and screwed them both.

That brings us to this specific night. Gerard shuffled out of Frank’s bunk and stood up leaning into the opening to have a good look at him lying half-naked staring up at the ceiling.

‘Are you going to marry her?’ Frank said knowing it was a stupid question.

‘I don’t know.’ Gerard said softly and Frank shot him a look. ‘Don’t.’ He grumbled. ‘I…’

‘You proposed to her.’ Frank laughed. ‘That usually means...’

‘I know what it means Frank.’ Gerard snapped and then he softened when he saw Frank flinch. ‘I don’t know what I’m doing.’ He put his head in his hands and he heard Frank sigh. ‘I think I should go to bed. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?’ Frank didn’t reply. ‘Goodnight Frankie.’ He closed the curtain and left Frank in the darkness. But for once Frank didn’t want to be alone. He kicked on his jeans forgetting about his shirt and jumped out his bunk. He listened carefully. He could hear Ray snoring and he could hear the tapping of Bob on his laptop. He moved towards Mikey’s bunk and heard mumbled fuzzy music probably coming from headphones. He opened the curtain slowly and Mikey glanced up and smiled softly.

‘You okay?’ He could see the tears in Frank’s eyes and his shaky hands, but he still asked. Frank shook his head and climbed into his bunk. Mikey tore out his earphone and placed them on his little shelf. ‘It’s him isn’t it.’ Mikey knew about everything that happened on this bus no matter how hard you tried to hide it. Like when Bob got chlamydia from the merch girl and Mikey took one look at him and just knew. So even though they had never discussed it he knew there was something going on between the two men. ‘I’ll kill him.’ He said but before he could move Frank grabbed his shoulders and shoved him into the mattress.

‘No. It’s my own fault.’ Mikey’s eyes were full of pity and Frank knew that’s what he needed. A sympathetic look and a hug. He leaned down and lay beside Mikey. ‘I knew, I know, that there is nothing between us accept…But he keeps saying stuff you know? Like how he doesn’t want to marry her and how he loves me, but how can…I don’t want to…’ Frank started to cry and all Mikey could do was wrap his arms around the younger man and pull him into his chest. Frank cried into his shirt for a moment before he stopped and pulled away enough so he could look at Mikey. ‘I’m worthless to him. I’m just nothing.’ Mikey shook his head.

‘You aren't nothing and you’re not worthless. Gerard Way is not the only man in the world and he is not the man for you and I know you can’t see that right now, but…’ Frank blinked a couple of times. ‘You know Adam?’ Frank nodded. ‘He has such a crush on you.’

‘Lazzara?’ He smiled. Mikey nodded. ‘Damn he’s fucking hot.’ Mikey shook his head laughing. ‘But, I love G and I can’t stop.’

‘I know, but I wasn’t trying to get you and Adam together I just want you to know that you are fucking awesome. You are cute and you have the greatest smile.’ Mikey stopped for a moment. ‘And your laugh is infectious. You are hilarious and your music taste is second to none.’ Frank sniffed slightly feeling Mikey’s grip on him loosen. ‘And your eyes…they sparkle when your excited and when you’re playing guitar your skin glows. And when you’re scared and we’re watching horror movies you always curl really close to me and you’re so warm.’ Frank inhaled quickly. Mikey leaned down and kissed him. Frank kissed back feeling his soft tentative lips move against Mikey’s and he sighed.

‘But what about G.’ Frank said not wanting to get Mikey wrapped up in his mess.

‘I don’t care if I’m your rebound or if you need to use me to get over him. Because Frank I want to show you what you deserve. I want to love you and care for you the way you need to be. I want to show you what it’s like to be loved. Because you deserve that Frankie.’ Mikey said slowly whispering into his ear and making the younger shiver.

‘I want to show you that too Mikes.’ Frank said his words catching in his throat. ‘I want you.’

‘I want you to Frankie.’ And as it turns out that’s all Frank needed to hear to get over Gerard Way.

Notes

So...news...I don't know when Bookworms will get updated or if it ever will. I have a shit load on my plate right now. I'm 10,000 words into what seems to be my first novel and I got uni work coming out of my ear. I guess, maybe, in the summer I can start writing Bookworms again. Anyway. Here is a nice little one-shot for you all because I recently found a love for Frikey I never knew I had and I wanted to share. Also, I have a watt pad now so if you guy could go on over there and support me I am doing a little preference thing to keep my mind occupied when I am bored at night and unable to do any uni work and it's nice to do little one-shots and stuff cause there's no commitment stress.

NOW THE REALLY EXCITING NEWS.
I met Frank again twice. And I finally got to meet the rest of the guys it was awesome and Frank was awesome. I never got his signature or photo this time around because the first time was when we were queueing and he was busy so I didn't wanna bother him and the second time was later on in the tour and I was backstage and I didn't wanna come off as unprofessional so we just talked it was nice. I got a photo with the other guys tho and I was at the barrier for one show and backstage for another so there is a thread of my twitter like there was for the Death Spells show so go have a look cause I got a few good video and pictures! ANYWAY. pLS, tell me what you think. Never written MCR that isn't Frerard before so....

-C